“And then what?” My voice is hoarse and shaky. I’m trembling. He’s so warm and solid and I cling to him, my hands falling to the waistband of his shorts, my fingers slipping just beneath to feel hard, hot skin.
“And then I wake up.”
Chapter 15
Shep
* * *
I should’ve never told Jade about the blowjob dream. One of the best dreams in recent memory, to be sure, but now she might think I’m not so subtly asking for one and I’m not.
Not yet, in any case. Though it’ll happen, mark my words. It’ll happen and I’ll probably fucking blow my wad at first touch of those magical Jade lips on the tip of my dick after all the dreams and fantasies I’ve had about them, but it’ll be worth it.
So fucking worth it.
She’s trembling. I can feel her shaky fingers as they dip beneath the waistband of my shorts and just her hands touching me so innocently have me sucking in a deep breath as I mentally tell my dick to calm down. I can’t begin to express just how disappointed I am we can’t take this any further tonight.
Wasn’t I the one who said there’s something to be said for anticipation? That night when I refused to kiss her because she was drunk? I was trying to be noble. Respectful. Two words no one would use to describe me.
I’m a total asshole for even uttering the word anticipation, for believing it’s a good thing. Anticipation fucking sucks.
“Come here.” I don’t give her a chance to answer or do anything. I take over, grabbing her ass and hauling her into me, her body flush with mine. She tips her head back, our gazes meet and I stare at her, fascinated with her pretty face. I notice something different every time I look at her and this moment is no exception. “Your eyelashes are red, like your hair,” I tell her, like she doesn’t know.
She tears her gaze away from mine. “Usually I have mascara on to darken them.”
“But you’re not wearing any makeup.” I touch the side of her face, the tip of her nose. Her skin is pale, the freckles like little flecks of cinnamon across her flesh and I drag my thumb across her plump bottom lip, liking how it catches right in the center.
“Half the reason why I was so mortified to run into you. No makeup. Sloppy hair,” she admits. “I’m wearing my oldest, most favorite T-shirt and ratty leggings. I’m a mess.”
“I noticed the holes.” I touch the one at the neckline of her shirt, then decide the hell with it and touch the one that’s just beneath her boob, my finger brushing against her ample chest. I am fucking dying to get a look at her tits naked. Does this make me an asshole? Probably, but I don’t care. Not at the moment. “You’re not a mess, Jade. I like you like this. You look…real.”
“Opposed to me looking fake all the other times we’ve seen each other?”
Ah, there’s my sarcastic girl. That smart mouth of hers is such a fucking turn on. There’s gotta be something wrong with me, that I like it so much. “I didn’t say that. Honestly? Seeing you like this makes my imagination run wild.”
Her brows draw together. How did I never notice they’re red too? Well, more like a deep auburn color. Very dark and perfectly arched. “How?”
I think I’m trying to seduce her with words. Not like I planned this but since we’re not going to do anything tonight, I should at least talk about it, right? What I want to do to her. With her. What I want her to do to me. With me. How I want to see her naked and flushed and moaning my name all while I’m buried deep inside her. I want to know what she looks like when she comes.
Yeah. More than anything, that’s what I’m dying to see.
“I imagine this is what you’d look like in my bed after you spent the night.” I push away the little tendrils of hair that curl around her cheeks. “No makeup, no pretense. Just you.”
Her lips part and she blinks up at me. “Kiss me. Before you say something awful and ruin it,” she whispers, her eyes falling shut when I lean in and do exactly as she asks. Her arms move so they’re wrapped around my neck and I grip her ass harder, pulling her in as close as I can get. I take the kiss deep in an instant, thrusting my tongue against hers, swallowing the moan that escapes her.
Christ, she tastes good. Sweet and seductive. She scoots closer to me, her legs clamping tight along my hips and I keep one hand on her ass, with the other I reach up and touch her cheek, tilt her face to the side to deepen the kiss further. She whimpers and I draw her lower lip between mine and suck—I know she likes it when I do that.
“You make me crazy,” I murmur against her mouth when I release her lip. “I’d fuck you right here on the kitchen counter if you’d let me.”
“Oh God,” she says on a gasp. “Say that again.”
“Say what again?” I drop kisses along her jaw, down the length of her neck, moving her heavy hair behind her shoulder so I can kiss the spot behind her ear. “You’re always accusing me of saying something to mess it up.”
“Just…repeat what you said. What you want to do to me if I’d let you.” She swallows hard, I feel the movement beneath my lips and I pause there, knowing exactly what she wants me to say.
Does this mean Jade likes dirty talk? Who fucking knew?
“I said, that if you’d let me.” I press my mouth to the spot where her pulse thumps erratically, inhaling her heady scent, humming against her skin. This is like torture. Touching her. Kissing her. Talking to her, all while not able to do exactly what I want to her. “I’d fuck you right here on this kitchen counter.”
“God, this is absolute torture,” she whispers as I continue to kiss her neck. She’s reading my mind. “I should…probably go.”
Everything within me skids to a stop at her words. “Hell no,” I practically growl, lifting my head so I can stare at her. “You’re not leaving.”
“We can’t—” She whimpers when I nibble on her earlobe. “But we can’t do anything.”
“We’re making out,” I remind her as I pull away from her fragrant neck. “Tristan’s gone tonight. He won’t get home until late. So we have the entire house to ourselves.” I wish I could fuck her on every available surface but since that’s not happening, we’ll have to make plans to do it another night.
That I’m thinking of future nights with Jade is freaking unbelievable.
“Your cousin is gone?” She sounds hopeful.
“Yeah.” I brush my thumb back and forth across her ass, tracing the band of her panties beneath her leggings. Teasing is fun right? I might come close to giving myself a heart attack and a massive case of blue balls by the end of the night but I’ll survive.
Barely.
“So it’s just us.” She trails her hand down the front of my T-shirt, her nails lightly grazing and my dick twitches. Well, it’s been twitching for a while but I want her hands on my bare skin. This clothes on business is for the birds.
“Just us.” I kiss her once, then slip both of my hands under her ass, indicating that I want to pick her up. She grabs hold of my shoulders, her shocked gaze meeting mine. “Come on.” I heft her up into my arms and turn, heading toward the living room.
“How is it that you’re able to carry me so easily?” she asks in wonder.
“You don’t weigh that much.”
She snorts. Actually snorts. It’s kind of cute. “You don’t need to lie to keep me here. I’m sort of trapped and at your mercy.”
I like that at my mercy part. She should’ve never said those words. Now my imagination is going absolutely wild, thinking of all the things I could do to Jade while she’s at my mercy.
More like I’m at her mercy, considering she’s drawn the line in the sand for tonight. Look, look, touch, touch, but don’t touch me there, kiss, kiss…that’s it.
Fucking misery.
“I’m respecting your wishes.” I sit on the edge of the couch with her straddling me and lean back slowly, enjoying the way she leans in with me. Her knees are on either side of my hips, her hands still on my shoulders, my cock nestled between her legs. An ideal position th
at’s going nowhere. “We’re just going to kiss. Nothing more.”
“Right.” She sounds hesitant. Almost…disappointed? “Nothing more.”
I reach for her, settling my mouth on hers, kissing her before she has a chance to think, to say something else, to remind herself that maybe she doesn’t want to be here after all. I trace the seam of her lips with my tongue and she opens easily, a moan sounding low in her throat when I circle her tongue with mine. I cup her nape, holding her still, not wanting to let her go and she starts doing this circling of the hips thing that I know is going to drive me absolutely crazy.
This entire night is driving me crazy. Jade makes me lose my fucking mind. Is it because she’s so resistant yet…not? That she only lets me take it so far before she withdraws or we’re interrupted? I don’t know what to think. The theory behind wanting something you can’t have plays heavily on my mind. I think that’s my problem. I think once I finally have her, I’ll be done. Able to walk away without a backward glance.
What scares me worse is that might not be the case at all. That I’ll finally fuck her and only end up wanting more. Want her all the time. She makes me feel completely out of control with just a few kisses and innocent touches. What will happen when we finally get naked together?
Fuck I almost don’t want to find out.
* * *
Jade
* * *
My thoughts are running rampant, coming up with all sorts of solutions to this—problem Shep and I are currently facing. I can’t do anything with him tonight. Well, I suppose I could, but ew. I don’t want to. My first time with Shep is not going to be when it’s my time of the month. That’s just too much, too soon.
But there are other things we could do. Things I could do to him…
That I’m even contemplating this shows just how wrapped up I am in him. Normally I wouldn’t do this sort of thing. Offer this sort of thing. The other guys I’ve been intimate with always asked for it. Almost demanded it. I did as they asked, never fully comfortable with it. One even told me my skills were lacking and that totally put me off of blowjobs pretty much forever.
It’s different with Shep though. I don’t know why. I like how he touches me. The things he says, spoken in that sexy as hell voice. He says he wants to fuck me and it’s like I melt. Just thinking about how he said it earlier, his mouth on mine now, his tongue working some sort of magic, his hand gripping the back of my neck, his other hand at my waist…I give in to my instincts and just let go.
Slowly I thrust my hips against his and I feel his erection straining beneath his basketball shorts, brushing against me, making my eyes practically roll back in my head. He’s so…big. I can tell. And so incredibly hard. He groans when I move against him and power flitters through me, making my head spin. Without thought I reach down, drifting my fingers along his length in a feather light touch and he rips his mouth from mine, staring at me with hungry eyes.
“What are you doing?”
My insecurities come rushing back, one on top of the other and I jerk my hand away from him while answering, “Touching you?” Though I phrase it more like a question. The way he’s looking at me makes me feel unsure.
His chest lifts and he exhales roughly. “We can’t do anything tonight. You already established that boundary.”
I can appreciate his respecting my boundaries. He’s more of a gentleman than I ever thought. “I won’t let you do anything to me,” I point out to him, shocked that I’m even about to say this. Here I go. “But I could do something for…you. To you.”
He stares at me, his gaze dropping to my lips, lingering there for a moment as he starts to shake his head. “No way.”
“Why not?” Now I’m offended. I reach for him again, about to wrap my fingers around him, shorts and all but he grabs hold of my wrist, stopping me.
“I don’t want you to think you—have to do this.” He drops his head against the back of the couch and closes his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Doing what?” I try to wrench my wrist out of his hold but he won’t let go. Damn it, he’s strong. I’d really like to see him naked. Everything within me goes molten at the mere thought and I squirm against him, his erection brushing against my sex and making me whimper.
“God, stop moving. Please.” He drops my wrist and grips my hips, holding me still. So still that I swear I can feel his cock throbbing against me. That’s so freaking hot. “I can’t believe that I’m turning down your offer. I never turn down offers like the one you’re making.”
Ugh. And this only reminds me that he’s a complete man-whore. “So why are you turning me down?”
“Because I can’t return the favor. You won’t let me tonight. I don’t want you to think that you have to do this as some sort of obligation.” He lifts his head so our gazes meet once more. “You confuse the hell out of me.”
I frown. “You confuse me too. My feelings for you confuse me.”
His lips quirk into this adorable little smile. Ugh, he’s just too cute. And sexy. And hot. And huge. “You have feelings for me?”
Great. Last thing I should’ve ever admitted to him. “Not like that,” I say as I start to swat his chest.
He grabs hold of my wrist again. His reflexes are impressively fast. “Then like what?” he asks quietly.
I can tell that this is A Moment. A time for me to be honest. It could go either way. Disastrous or momentous.
I’m hoping for momentous.
“I like spending time with you,” I admit in a whisper. His eyebrows lift in surprise. “You make me laugh. You make me feel good. You make me…”
“I make you what?” he urges. He’s whispering too and I realize that our position, how close we are, the way we’re watching each other, it feels so intimate. Almost too intimate.
“Want things I shouldn’t want.” I reach up and touch his hair, smoothing it away from his forehead. He closes his eyes, his lips parting and I lean in, my mouth level with his, inhaling his soft exhale. “Like you.”
And then I’m the one who’s kissing him, our mouths fused, my hands busy. I slip them beneath his T-shirt, coming into first contact with his firm abdomen and holy smokes, he’s hard there. I trace the ridges of muscle, feel his skin quiver and contract beneath my touch and I push his shirt up, wanting to feel more. Wanting to feel all of him.
“Jade.” The word is gruff, as if he’s trying to stop me but I feel like no one and nothing can stop me. I slide off of him, landing on my knees on the floor and he spreads his legs to accommodate my new position. “What are you doing?”
I almost want to laugh. He looks pained. The front of his shorts are tented with what appears to be a very aggressive, very large, erect penis and I seriously cannot wait to yank his shorts off so I can see this wonder in the flesh. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“You don’t have to—” He hisses out a breath when I slip my fingers beneath his shorts and touch the inside of his thigh. It’s muscly and covered with soft hair—very masculine and big.
Everything about him so far is masculine and big.
“I don’t have to what?” I push the leg of his shorts up and start to kiss the inside of his knee, his thigh. He smells delicious. All fresh and clean, like soap and just beneath, the scent that is unmistakably Shep.
“Do this.” He chokes the words out, his head falling back against the couch again and I take my advantage. Rearing up on my knees, I reach for the waistband of his shorts and slowly start to peel it back, discovering that he’s not wearing underwear beneath those shorts.
I come face to penis within a few shocking seconds.
“Wow,” I whisper, since it’s now turned into a whisper-worthy moment. I have never before in my life thought a penis beautiful. They’re sort of funny looking. I’m definitely not into dick pics and no guy has ever sent me one, thank God. And most guys let their penises do all the thinking, which means they’re idiots.
But Shep’s is…long. Smo
oth. With a thick head and arcing toward his stomach in this incredibly appealing way. I lick my lips, anticipation filling my blood, making my body pound with need and I reach out, drawing my index finger down the length of him, making it twitch.
“Fuck me, Jade. You should stop.” But he doesn’t look like he wants me to stop. He’s sprawled in front of me, his arms loose at his sides and not touching me, his head still leaning back on the couch. He’s staring up at the ceiling and that sort of pisses me off because I want him to watch when I do this.
Right? I mean, I may get performance anxiety but I still want him to see. Guys like to watch. They’re visual beings. Hello, porn.
“I don’t want to stop.” I wrap my fingers around the base of his erection and hold him like that for a few long, anticipation filled seconds. Carefully I stroke him, all the way up, curling around the head, before sliding all the way back down.
The groan that escapes him does something to me. Makes my heart race, my breath shallow. I do it again, pleased when he tilts his head down so he can finally watch and the look on his face, the glow in his eyes, fills me with pleasure.
“I’m not going to last long,” he warns me. I glance up, our gazes meeting and I smile, leaning in close so I can drop a light kiss to the very tip of him. He moans and triumph fills me. “Do that again,” he demands hoarsely.
So I do. I rain kisses all over the tip of his erection, my tongue darting out to trace the flared head. He tastes clean and the slightest bit musky, velvety soft skin covering steel. Shep is cursing up a storm, like he can’t help himself and his words only encourage me to keep going.
I tug his shorts down, past his knees, until they fall at his feet and he kicks them off, spreading his legs further, allowing me in. I scoot closer, resting my left hand on his thigh, wrapping my lips around the head of his erection. He thrusts his hand into my hair, cradling the side of my face and I glance up at him, his cock still in my mouth, my body flushed and hot over what I’m doing.
Keep This Promise Page 37