by HJ Welch
“Are you all right?”
He leaned back in his seat and smiled at Levi. The bar was packed, but they had somehow managed to get a table for two. The walls were deep red and had big, artful cracks in them to reveal naked brickwork underneath. Paintings of dogs in hats and photos from the twenties and spotted mirrors all hung in fat, gilded frames. Along the top where wall met ceiling was a bookshelf that contained leather-bound volumes. Raiden loved it.
He smiled at Levi. “Sorry, just tired,” he lied. “I was thinking, this place is great, but might be a bit upmarket for the band and their groupies.” He laughed and nodded back out to the street. “I think I spotted a dive bar on the way here where the floor looked good and sticky. Maybe we could check that place on the way back for tomorrow?”
“You don’t like this,” Levi said evenly, glancing around.
Raiden shook his head and put his drink down. He made to reach for Levi’s hand, but thought better of it and retracted it back. But not before Levi saw. “I love it. For us.”
Levi chewed on his lip. “I wanted to take you someplace nice. But well, I’ve never done this with, uh…”
“A guy,” Raiden finished for him, smiling sympathetically. “Neither have I. We’re just trying this out together. But, honestly, this place is awesome.”
He would have been happy with some cheap beers back at the hotel bar if it meant Levi wanted to hang with him. So the fact that he’d put some effort in made it even better.
God, he couldn’t get his head around this. He wished they could just talk plainly, but he was too chicken to do that, he knew. So that left him guessing and second-guessing and-
Levi’s hand slipped over his knee. The tablecloth meant no one else could see, but that only made it better. Raiden looked up at him.
“You know,” said Levi. “If you don’t talk, that leaves it up to me.” He smiled ruefully. “And I’m not great at that.”
Raiden laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. I like you, he wanted to blurt out. I want this to be a real thing. I think I want to be your boyfriend.
He wasn’t going to act like the concept didn’t terrify him. But that was precisely why he was tongue-tied and paying far too much attention to almost everything that wasn’t Levi. Except now Levi had Raiden’s hand on his knee, and that wasn’t as easy to ignore.
“I am tired,” Raiden began. “But I guess, well, I just think this place it really cool and was absorbing the atmosphere. I’ll be better company from now on,” he added with a grin.
Levi looked down like he was embarrassed. “You’re, um, always good company.”
Raiden barked out a laugh, some of his tension leaving him. “No, I’m damn well not. I’m pissy and bratty and wind you up for kicks.”
He grinned at Levi and was pleased when he finally grinned back. “You’re right. What the hell am I even doing here with you?”
Raiden sipped his drink, making sure to use his tongue to hook the straw to his mouth. “Having fun, I hope?”
Levi squeezed his knee. “I am.” He didn’t have to stretch or lean to keep his hand there, so he did. They both slowly drank some more, watching the crowd bustling around them.
“Damn,” Raiden mused. “I wish I could Instagram this. But that would kind of screw up security for tomorrow night if seven million people knew where I was, huh?”
“You have seven million followers?” Levi asked, incredulously.
Raiden nodded and brought up the app on his phone. “It was ten, before…well, you know.” He started scrolling through his pictures. They were mostly selfies or photos of food or other dumb stuff. “I’d thought you’d know that, from your research?”
Levi shrugged. “I knew it was a lot. But seven million?” He frowned and took a pull on his straw. His cocktail was less silly than Raiden’s, but the fact it wasn’t beer was impressive enough on its own. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…why?”
“Why do they follow me?” Raiden asked. He wasn’t hurt. It was a fair question.
“I guess,” said Levi. “But also, why would you want them to? Isn’t that opening you up to all the scrutiny you hate?”
“True,” said Raiden. He swished his straw around the glass, playing with the ice floating in his drink. “It’s a double-edged sword, I suppose. Because it’s also an essential marketing tool. You have to keep reminding people that you still exist. If I post a picture of me collaborating with a certain artist, that’s potentially seven million people who might be that more inclined to listen or buy the record when it comes out.”
Levi rubbed his thumb absently on Raiden’s knee. “I can sort of see that. But isn’t it kind of superficial?”
Raiden scoffed. “Massively. But that’s human nature. It would be lovely to think people will become fans of Glittergasm because their music rocks, but the truth is, it will most likely be because of Pearl’s lilac hair. She won’t be able to change that color for years.”
“You’re serious?” said Levi.
“Perfectly,” Raiden replied, swallowing down another mouthful of sticky cocktail. “It’s all branding.”
Levi cast his gaze out over the bar for a moment. “I don’t get it,” he admitted.
Raiden thought how he could explain it. “Okay, so did you ever have a teacher you really liked? Or coach, or drill sergeant or anything? Someone who was popular with your peers.”
At the mention of a drill sergeant, Raiden felt Levi bristle. He hoped he hadn’t put his foot in it. But then a hint of a smile twitched at the corner of Levi’s mouth.
“Mrs. White. Rose White,” he said, nodding. “She taught English at my middle school. Enormous woman, ginger hair, kept stuffed cats on her desk. You’d think a bunch of cocky teenagers would eat her alive.”
“But they didn’t?”
Levi shook his head. “She wasn’t strict…she was fair. Let you get away with a lot of stupid stuff, so long as your work was done and you at least tried. If you crossed her, though…” He whistled. “Man, you were fucked.”
“So, she had a reputation?” Raiden asked. “A brand. You didn’t just remember her teaching methods. You told me about her fluffy cat toys first. What she looked like.”
Levi raised his eyebrows, then glanced back over at Raiden. “That’s true,” he said.
Raiden smiled, pleased he’d understood. “Half of success in the creative arts – heck, any job – is about branding. Marketing. That’s why I got obnoxious last night when you wouldn’t let me go out. I post photos of me and Pearl at some bar, people are interested in me, her, the bar. Everyone wins.”
Levi nodded. “All right,” he said. “That’s pretty cool.”
Raiden watched him for a while as they drank some more and played footsie under the table. Of course, there was a chance someone else could sneak a photo of him, of them together, that would find its way onto Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat. But he couldn’t help but think, even if it was childish, that as long as he was with Levi, he’d be okay.
He wanted to ask more about Levi’s time in the Marines. He’d hardly mentioned it at all, least of all why he had left. Once or twice he’d implied it was just the right time to move on, but Raiden hadn’t imagined the way his whole body had tensed earlier at his mention of it.
But they were having a good time and he didn’t want to sour that. Besides, despite his promise to perk up, he was struggling with exhaustion still. He stifled a yawn and gulped down the last of his cocktail.
“Do you want another drink?”
Levi rubbed his thumb along the edge of Raiden’s knee. “We can do that,” he said. “Or I can take you back to the hotel. I’m pretty bushed too. It’s been a lot of driving over the past few days.”
Raiden bit his lip. There was only so much he could beat around things. “That depends,” he said over the bar’s music. “I’m not done with you yet. So which will keep me in your company longer?”
Levi regarded him carefully. “Either,” he said. “You’ve got me
all night.”
Raiden’s mouth went dry. “Let’s go back to the hotel then,” he managed to say.
Levi nodded once, then stood and slipped on his jacket.
A couple pounced on their table before Raiden and Levi had even fully stepped away, but Raiden barely noticed. He just felt Levi’s hand on his lower back, guiding him out of the bar into the night once more.
They hailed a taxi, even though the hotel was only a couple of blocks away. Raiden deliberately stayed on his side of the seat in the back for the few minutes’ drive, his hands under his thighs.
This was quite different to either of them jumping the others’ bones after a drink or seven. This was them calculatedly going back to somewhere private with the specific intention of having sex. Raiden did his best to slow his heart rate, but suddenly he felt a little sick with both excitement and nerves.
Levi kept his distance as they paid the driver and left the car to re-enter the hotel. It was like Raiden could feel the space between them, as if it was charged with electricity, waiting for a spark to ignite the air around them.
Levi appeared calm as they took the elevator up to their floor. From habit, Raiden got his card out and led them to his room. Levi walked by his side, standing behind him as he unlocked the door.
Raiden walked into the dimly lit room with his heart in his mouth, turning to close the door only to find Levi already doing so.
It was like two wrecking balls colliding.
Levi lunged for Raiden in the same moment Raiden threw himself into Levi’s arms. Their mouths were frantic and moans possibly too loud considering there might be people still awake in the rooms around them, but Raiden didn’t care. He grabbed at Levi’s dirty blond hair and the back of his neck, thrusting his already hardening cock against Levi’s thigh.
“Fuck,” Levi breathed into his mouth. He grappled with Raiden’s belt buckle as he pushed him back against the wall. “Been wanting to kiss you for hours.”
Raiden melted into him, their chests heaving and legs entwined. “Going out is overrated,” he said as Levi kissed down his throat. “Let’s order room service next time.”
“Okay,” Levi agreed, sucking on his throat.
‘Okay?’ Raiden’s heart fluttered. It seemed that Levi had stopped trying to deny that this was going to keep happening.
Levi won the battle with Raiden’s jeans, shoving them to his thighs along with his briefs and wrapping his hand around Raiden’s cock. He cried out, banging his head on the hotel room wall. Levi stopped nibbling on his collarbone to claim his mouth again.
Raiden reached for Levi’s zipper, wanting to free his obvious erection. Between them, they managed to push his pants down as well. Then he was crowding against Raiden, pressing him against the wall like their first time together, their cocks rubbing against each other and wrapped in Levi’s big hand.
“Jesus, fuck,” Raiden whimpered. “Can I talk? Am I allowed to talk?”
Levi laughed and kissed him again. “I want to hear every filthy thing that pops into your brain.”
Raiden moaned. “Christ, yes, just like that. Oh my god I love your cock, Levi. Levi. Don’t stop.”
Their precum helped lubricate their dicks and Levi’s hand, but if he was honest, Raiden didn’t mind the roughness of it. He was close, embarrassingly so.
He couldn’t help but worry that the number of encounters he’d get with Levi was limited. He wanted to make the most of every single one of them. But right then he just needed them to come together. No games, just a pure climax as one.
He got his wish. It only took a few more tugs before he was spilling up himself and Levi, but then so was he, their cum mixing and hitting their shirts equally. Levi sagged with one hand on the wall, the other on Raiden’s waist, pulling him close.
“Fuck,” he said with a tired laugh. “Sorry, that was quicker than I’d anticipated.”
Raiden clung to him and hummed. “S’oaky,” he mumbled. Shit, he didn’t want to pass out again, that was what he always did.
Levi stepped back enough to strip his soiled clothes, keeping his boxers on. He pulled Raiden’s shirt off too, but Raiden managed to kick his own jeans off and pull his unmarked underwear back up over his softened cock.
Levi wrapped his arm around Raiden’s waist again, leaving their clothes behind as he steered them towards the bedroom that Raiden hadn’t even unpacked in yet. Levi pulled back the covers and Raiden prepared himself to be put to bed again.
Except Levi crawled in after him, yanking the comforter up over them both. Then he hauled Raiden back over to him so they were spooning. Raiden was too afraid to breathe, let alone speak, in case he shattered this magic moment.
Levi kissed the back of his neck and hugged him tightly. “Sleep,” he said simply.
Raiden complied, a contentment seeping through his skin he hadn’t felt in years.
22
Raiden
Raiden awoke to an empty bed. He reached out to find the sheets were cold. His heart sped up. When had Levi left? Had he even slept here at all? Had Raiden imagined him cuddling up to him last night?
He curled his knees to his chest. It was completely irrational to allow someone else to make him feel so insecure, but damn it he wanted Levi to stop making him jump through hoops. He took a long breath in and out, then reached for his phone.
Sure enough, there was a text waiting for him.
Gone to the gym. Meet me for breakfast at 9?
Raiden smiled. See, everything was fine. Working out was obviously something that centered Levi, and he’d just hoped to get it in before Raiden woke. That was kind of sweet in its own way.
Raiden replied that would be great and stretched his arms over his head. He should probably go for a run too. But he really wasn’t keen on treadmills. He much preferred the fresh air, and seeing as they were in the middle of an unfamiliar city it didn’t really feel appealing.
Besides, what if Levi was right? He thought he’d maybe seen someone sketchy at the gig back in Pittsburgh. What if this wasn’t just a cyber attack and there was someone lurking in person? Raiden couldn’t know either way, but it certainly dampened his enthusiasm for a run. Levi would kill him if he went outside without him, anyway.
Looking at his watch told him it was just before eight, so he had plenty of time before he needed to head downstairs. He retrieved his laptop from his bag, planning on checking his emails and maybe listening to his current work in progress a few times before grabbing a shower.
Levi wanted to meet for breakfast. He didn’t mind being seen out, just the two of them. For someone who had obviously been closeted until now, he was making a remarkable effort. Again, Raiden couldn’t help that whisper of hope at the back of his mind that this was more than just fucking.
Could he and Levi really work as a couple? They were both based near Williams Pike now, so location wasn’t really an issue. But would Levi want to date a guy? Would Raiden?
His laptop distracted him as it pinged up with multiple notifications at once. Raiden rubbed sleep from his eyes and yawned, picking through the various apps and websites to catch up on his messages.
An email caught his eye as soon as he opened his mail program. There was no sender listed. The space where the person’s name should have been was blank, and when he clicked on the body of the message, the slot for the address was blank too.
Odd. Raiden looked at the brief written note.
I’m sorry Raiden, I’ve not been very nice to you lately, have I? How about I make it up to you. There’s a little present attached here, just for you. Enjoy ;)
Raiden frowned. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew not to click on attachments from unknown sources. That was the easiest way to get a virus. But the email had mentioned him by name, and his curiosity was blazing.
Could this be the hacker? Surely they weren’t about to give him something he actually wanted? What could they offer, after all?
But Raiden was sick of this cat-and-mouse game. If it was from
them, then maybe this would tell him why he had been targeted, or what they wanted from him?
In a reckless move, he clicked on the zip file before he could talk himself out of it. All his work was backed up externally. If they wanted to steal his money again the bank’s insurance would cover him, and he could change all his passwords again if he felt there was anything corrupt about what he had just opened.
So far, it just seemed to be a collection of written documents and pictures. They were all labeled by dates which stretched back over the last couple of years. Raiden frowned. There were perhaps a dozen items in the zip file, so he figured if he was going to do this, he might as well look at them in chronological order.
His first assumption was that this was more blackmail on him. Maybe more nude photos?
It turned out, it had nothing to do with Raiden.
Slowly, he opened each document, one at a time. With each new click he felt sicker and sicker. This couldn’t really be happening.
When he checked the time again, twenty minutes had passed. He fumbled for his phone and managed to tap out a text to Levi.
Meet back in my room instead.
Somehow, he managed to get himself in a scalding hot shower which went some way to clearing his head, then put some decent clothes on. Then he just sat on his bed, waiting for the knock at the door, thinking too many things and nothing really at all.
How could he have been so stupid?
The knock came before nine o’clock, and Raiden wasn’t surprised to find Levi still in his workout gear when he opened the door for him. “Hey,” he said a little breathlessly. He cracked half a grin and gave Raiden a seductive flick of his eyes. Raiden’s stomach rolled. “Can I come in?”
Raiden nodded and stepped back so Levi could follow him. He walked back to the bed and sat crossed-legged, watching Levi close the door. Levi stopped at the foot of the bed and rubbed the back of his neck absently with the hand towel he’d evidently brought from the gym.