by HJ Welch
“What’s going on?” Levi asked. There was a note of caution to his voice, obviously having caught on to Raiden’s mood.
“I don’t know,” said Raiden stiffly. He turned his open laptop around and pushed it towards Levi. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Frowning, Levi pulled the computer to him and held it in his hands so he could stand and flick through the documents Raiden had left open. His face suddenly dropped, his complexion going ashen.
“This is classified information,” he said, his voice barely a rasp.
“I don’t care if it’s classified,” Raiden spat out. “Is it true?”
Levi looked up at him, then back at the screen. “It’s complicated.”
Rage erupted in Raiden like a volcano. “Complicated!” he cried, jumping from the bed. He jabbed his finger at the laptop and advanced on Levi, who didn’t budge. “That’s not complicated, that’s a lot of fucking dead people!”
Levi snapped the laptop shut and dropped it on the bed. “What did you imagine happened in Iraq?” he asked. “It was war.”
“But that’s you, right?” Raiden demanded. “That’s you in those photos, in front of those villages blown to smithereens. By those dead teenage boys lined up neatly on the ground. Walking around calmly with your fucking big gun while women ran for their lives?”
Levi’s jaw flexed. His eyes were barely slits. Raiden couldn’t believe he thought they were beautiful before.
“Did you look at the reports?”
Raiden scoffed. “Yes, of course,” he said. “Pretty fucking horrifying bedtime reading there, Sergeant Patterson. No wonder you left the Marines in such a hurry. You probably only had a matter of time before you were dishonorably discharged.”
Levi took a step forward, his whole body tensed into a menacing hulk. Raiden instinctively flinched backwards. Levi stopped and took a breath through his nose. “You don’t know all the facts.”
“I don’t need to,” Raiden shot back. “You’re not denying these things happened, are you?”
“It’s not what you think,” Levi began.
“I think I’ll be having nightmares for weeks,” Raiden said. He could feel himself shaking. “You can tell me that’s war, but I’m pretty sure war is fighting other soldiers. Not obliterating whole villages while they sleep.”
Levi looked the most furious Raiden had ever seen him. His cheeks were blotchy but the rest of his face was gray. His fists were clenched and his shoulders hunched. He looked like a monster.
“I can’t believe I let you into my bed,” Raiden choked out, distraught when his voice cracked. He felt utterly sick and ashamed, but he managed to blink back the tears that pricked behind his eyes. He was not going to let this sick bastard see him cry.
His father would never have done anything like this. Levi should be in prison for what he’d done.
“Did you ever stop to think that this is the hacker messing with you?” Levi asked.
Raiden laughed. It was a bitter, hollow sound. “Who gives a shit? They said it was a present. They’re obviously doing me a favor!”
“They’re fucking with you!” Levi shouted. “Again! If you calm down, I can explain!”
“Explain?” Raiden hissed. “I don’t want you to explain. I want you gone. Now. I want a new bodyguard, and if your uncle wants to know why, I’ll tell him.”
Something diminished in Levi’s posture. His shoulders dropped a fraction, his frown lessened a millimeter. “Okay,” he said. The fight had gone from his voice. “I’ll handle it. You can’t tell anyone about this, though. It’s classified information. You could get in serious trouble. But…I respect your wishes. We’ll get someone new out here as soon as possible.”
Raiden refused to be moved by the hurt in his voice. So what Levi might have really liked him? Raiden didn’t want that. He needed another shower.
Levi turned and took a step towards the door. He paused, then glanced over his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said.
Raiden pointed at his laptop. “Tell them that.”
Levi hung his head and left the room without another word.
Once the door clicked shut, Raiden marched over and turned the lock. Then he walked back on the bed and collapsed onto it. He hugged a pillow to his chest and finally let himself cry. He was disgusted and horrified and so very hurt.
How could Levi be that person?
Raiden wasn’t ignorant. He knew sometimes bad things happened to the wrong people in times of war. But he would never have thought Levi would be someone like that. Raiden would never be able to unread the things he had seen in some of those reports.
All he could do was distance himself from it now. That wasn’t his world. He didn’t know about war zones. He and Levi were obviously not meant to be together.
He rubbed his chest as his tears made the sheets damp. It was like he could feel his heart breaking.
How could he have ever thought he was falling in love with someone like that?
23
Levi
How could Levi have been so fucking stupid? He should have known this would catch up to him sooner rather than later. He’d just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.
That Raiden would have never found out at all.
If things had gotten serious between them, then who knew? Maybe he would have confessed someday, risked Raiden rejecting him with the disgust he had just shown in his room. Or maybe he might have listened, understood?
But now, Levi would never know.
He should have insisted on explaining, telling his side of the story. But what did it really matter? Like Raiden had said, those people were all still dead.
To make matters worse, his uncle was pissed at him. Kurt didn’t know the full details, only that Raiden needed a new bodyguard immediately.
Levi had left the military on an honorable discharge. As far as everyone, including his uncle, knew, it was just because he’d had enough of being away from home. He’d served his country like his father had before him, like his uncle and cousins and grandfathers. No way he was going to dishonor his dad or any of them by running his mouth on the things he’d seen.
But that now meant Raiden had seen just the one side of what his last tour had been like, and all Levi had was his word against the official reports. Not that Raiden wanted to hear it. Why should he?
What was more troubling when Levi calmed down to think about it, was why the hacker had done this. Was it simply to try and scare Raiden away from his protection?
Or to split him from the lover bringing him happiness?
It would be much, much worse if someone had figured out they were an item, because they had hardly even worked that out themselves. Did that mean someone was closer than Levi had anticipated? Or had they been able to suss it out from scurrying around online?
Levi wasn’t sure how he could get any answers, though, so for now, he just had to sit with that uneasy knowledge.
Unfortunately, there was no one else available at the security firm for at least a couple of weeks. That, combined with the fact that Raiden was demanding a change in personnel in the first place, made the company look bad all around.
“So I don’t care what you’ve done,” Kurt had told him down the phone. “But you fix this.”
Levi didn’t know how.
He knew how to storm a building full of insurgents. He knew how to talk his men through an ambush. He knew how to navigate a minefield. But in that moment, he didn’t know how to knock on Raiden Jones’s door.
There was no alternative, though. If Raiden wanted to attend tonight’s performance and support Glittergasm as intended, he needed protection. Levi was his only option unless he wanted to hire a completely unknown service here in Philadelphia.
Levi had texted him with that possibility a couple of hours ago and received no response. So therefore, he steeled himself, and rapped smartly on the hotel room door once.
Raiden opened after a minute and regarded him silently. “I told you your choices,”
Levi said, keeping his voice even. “If you haven’t hired anyone else, I’m all you’ve got.”
Raiden shut the door in his face. But the rummaging around beyond the door told Levi that Raiden was getting his shit together.
They made the journey to the venue entirely in silence. It couldn’t have been a more different trip to their ride home from the bar the night before. Levi turned his face towards the window, the busy city street passing by in the afternoon sunshine. He screwed his eyes shut and allowed himself a moment of grief.
Was this really it? If Raiden never let him explain, he’d probably hate him forever. Levi would never get to be with him again. And fuck, he didn’t just mean sexually. He loved their stupid drives talking about nothing. He loved how hard Raiden had tried to help him love his music. He loved his awful jokes and inappropriate teasing and…
Was he falling in love with another guy? With Raiden?
The likelihood of that happening had seemed so improbable two months ago. But now, Levi’s heartache was telling him that maybe it wasn’t so insane to imagine.
It was also entirely pointless. Raiden had seen what he’d seen. He was never going to look at Levi with anything but disgust, so Levi needed to make his peace with that.
They walked backstage and Levi became a shadow, like he supposed to be. He watched on as Raiden came to life, greeting the band, offering words of encouragement to the crew, even talking to a couple of bloggers who had shown up. Glittergasm were gaining traction in the right circles, and people were starting to pay attention, or so it seemed. Levi didn’t really know about these things. He just paid attention to what other people said.
Once again, he and Raiden watched from the wings. But unlike last time, Levi didn’t hover with that delicious sexual tension lingering between them. He stood like a rock, acutely aware of Raiden’s every move, but they might as well have been a mile apart.
This was torture. Levi couldn’t manage the anger bubbling within him. There were so many people he wanted to lash out at and, infuriatingly, none of them were Raiden. He had every right to be hurt and pissed off and repulsed. Levi just wished he knew how to make it right.
A third of the way through the set, Pearl stopped for her customary water break. These small venues always liked to step in at some point to promo their own services, events, whatever drinks were on offer, that sort of thing. So Pearl sauntered over, downing a full bottle of water before she even reached Raiden and Levi on the side of the small stage.
She dropped the bottle in the recycling bin and flicked her eyes between the two of them. Levi remained still while Raiden crossed his arms. Pearl frowned.
“What?” Raiden asked, clearly uncomfortable.
Pearl shook her head. The host was calling her back on stage. She considered him and Levi a little longer, then sauntered back on stage, waving like the queen of England.
Levi refused to react, but Raiden shifted from foot to foot. Levi wanted to say something, anything. This was all his fault. But instead, he said nothing. He let the baseline drown out his thoughts and the beat of the drum dictate his heartbeat.
Raiden deserved better than him, of that he had no doubt. So until his uncle could find a replacement for the tour, or even back at the ranch, Levi would do his duties as if made of granite. Observe, but not interact.
The band finished the song, but movement near the doors caught Levi’s eye. Underground Arts wasn’t a large venue, so he could see almost all the emergency exits from this vantage point. He straightened. Security guards didn’t run for no good reason.
“Get back,” he said, automatically pulling Raiden away from the stage. Raiden swatted him away, but Levi had a fistful of his shirt and wasn’t letting go. There was panic spreading through the air.
The band faltered on stage. They could sense something was wrong.
“Just a second, folks,” Pearl said with a smile, looking over to the wings for someone to give her a cue.
It came.
A young guy dressed in black with a walkie-talkie from the crew skidded to a halt in front of Levi and Raiden.
“Bomb!” he shouted. “There’s a bomb in the building!”
24
Raiden
Raiden didn’t even have a chance to process the word before Levi was a blur before him, scooping Pearl up from center stage. “There is a bomb in the building,” he said confidently into the microphone. “Everyone is to calmly and quickly evacuate the premises immediately.” The room burst into a frenzy of screams and people panicking as they ran for the emergency exits. Levi turned to the band. “GO!”
His arm was around Pearl as they ran from the stage, the other four members of Glittergasm right behind him. It was all over in a matter of three, maybe four seconds, until Raiden found himself swept up in Levi’s other arm.
Levi let go of Pearl, who was already sprinting hand in hand with the bassist for the backstage exit. But Levi had Raiden glued to his side like they were running a three-legged race.
The street outside was pandemonium, people running everywhere, the sound of sirens in the air. Raiden was still trying to wrap his head around what was happening. There couldn’t really be a bomb in the building, could there? That was insane.
But before he knew it Levi was bundling them into the Jeep and pulling away from the theatre. “Wait,” said Raiden, his voice catching up to him. “Pearl, the band, where did they go?”
“Venue security has them,” Levi said, squealing around a corner, not looking at Raiden. “The authorities will already be on the scene.”
Raiden realized he was shaking. “Was there really a bomb?” he stammered.
Levi licked his lips and tore the Jeep down another street, ignoring the people blaring their horns at him. “It doesn’t matter. We treat it as real until the bomb squad have combed every single square inch of that place.”
Raiden blinked and pulled his phone from his pocket. He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like he should really be checking Twitter right then. Except…
He cried out, a snarl and a wail all in one. There was a text message from nobody. No number or caller ID It was completely blank, aside from the single word in the body of the text message.
Boom.
“What?” Levi demanded.
A little too late, Raiden realized they weren’t going back to the hotel. They were halfway out of town already. He looked around in confusion, his head spinning. “Can we stop? Levi – stop!”
In a split second, they swung around ninety degrees and reversed down an alleyway. Raiden gulped down breaths of air, then handed the phone over, the text message clearly on display.
“Fuck,” Levi growled.
“Is it real?” Raiden whispered. “Are they going to bomb a whole building just to get to me?”
Levi handed the phone back and killed the car ignition. Silently, he looked out into the night, not that they could see anything much beyond the alley. But Raiden guessed it was the direction of the venue.
“No,” said Levi slowly. “I don’t think there’s a device. I’d bet any money they were just after attention.”
Raiden let out a sob. “I’m so sick of this. I’m so sick! Why are they doing this? What the hell did I ever do to these people?” He hadn’t buckled up, so he was able to turn easily and shove Levi in the chest. “What do they want? A ransom? To kill me? What the fuck is going on?”
He didn’t even realize he was beating Levi’s chest until Levi grabbed his wrists and pulled Raiden to him, wrapping his arms around him as he cried and trembled. He’d never felt more pathetic in his life.
“Shh, shh,” Levi said, stroking his hair. Raiden was ashamed that he let him. All the anger from that morning’s revelations melted away in the face of needing someone to comfort him, to stop him spinning out of control.
“I hate you,” Raiden whispered, clinging on tighter.
“I know,” Levi said.
Raiden screwed his eyes shut, the tears leaking over his lashes. “Why did y
ou have to ruin everything?” he asked.
Levi continued to hold him for a few more minutes. Raiden realized with another sob that this was what he wanted. He wanted Levi to be the person he turned to in times of crisis. He wanted to be there for Levi when trouble darkened his door. But knowing what he did now, surely there was no way that could happen. He couldn’t be attracted to someone who had been a part of something so heinous.
Except Levi just didn’t seem like he would do that. Raiden couldn’t know him inside and out. They had only been working together for a couple of months. But did Raiden really believe he was the cold-blooded killer those photos had made him out to be?
Maybe Raiden should have listened when Levi said it was more complicated than it appeared? Instead of being horrified that he had fallen for a monster, Raiden should have at least given the man a chance to tell his side.
As his heart rate slowed, a flicker of hope burned in Raiden’s chest. He didn’t want to be duped by Levi, but he did desperately want to be proved wrong in his assumptions if at all possible. He wanted Levi to be the hero he just showed himself to be.
After a while, Levi stirred. “I want to get off the street,” he said in his no-nonsense voice. Obediently, Raiden sat up, wiping his eyes as Levi brought the Jeep back to life.
They drove for another fifteen minutes until they came across a basic chain hotel where they could park close. They had nothing on them but their phones and wallets, but Levi still guided them inside and towards the front desk.
Raiden did his best not to fall apart, not hearing a single word Levi said to the woman behind the desk as he paid in cash. Pearl had already texted several times to let him know they were okay and emergency services were looking after them all.
Initial reports seemed to agree that, yes. This was a hoax.
Raiden pressed the corner of his phone to his forehead. Why was this happening to him? What had he ever done to offend someone so badly that they’d go to these lengths?