by HJ Welch
He could fight it all he wanted, but his heart knew the truth.
He was falling in love with Corey Sheppard. And there was nothing he could do about it.
20
Corey
Corey should have known their little bubble of bliss would pop. He just didn’t think it would happen so soon.
Or so spectacularly.
They’d managed to avoid the rest of Reyse’s family for most of the evening, just joining them for a quick dinner of Mexican takeout after they’d come back from the hospital. Corey could tell Reyse was happy to hear from his mom and uncle that his dad was doing well, but he was also a bit sad he was missing out on the visits. Corey touched their feet together under the table. He hoped that showed Reyse that Corey had very much appreciated having him here instead.
The rest of the evening they’d retreated to Reyse’s room and locked the door, feeling brazen and not caring if anyone came knocking. The thing was, most of the night had been pretty innocent. They missed the sunset, but they’d stood at the window and looked up at the stars for quite some time. Reyse had stood in front of Corey as Corey wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder. It felt so peaceful.
They’d made love, just as Corey had promised, and after he hadn’t even tried to go and sleep in his own room. The temptation to wrap Reyse in his arms again was just too strong.
When morning came, he was incredibly glad he’d taken the chance to stay the night while he could.
Because their little fantasy was over.
“Oh shit,” Reyse hissed, dragging Corey into consciousness. He blinked his eyes open to see Reyse sat up in bed, staring at his phone in absolute horror. “Oh fuck, no, no!”
“Baby, what is it?” Corey said, not thinking twice about using the overly familiar epithet. He couldn’t help it. Every protective instinct was going off in his head like an alarm.
Reyse was horrified.
Tears were already pooling in his wide blue eyes as he turned his phone around with a trembling hand to show Corey the screen.
He was expecting bad news about Reyse’s dad, which already had him on edge.
He was not expecting to see a photograph of himself.
Several, in fact. They were kind of blurry, liked someone had zoomed as far in as they could with the camera on their phone. But there was no mistaking Corey and Reyse’s forms as they sat together on the blanket yesterday, or stripped on the beach, or ran into the water almost completely naked. Their tight underwear didn’t leave much to the imagination. But most damning of all was a candid shot of them hugging in the water. Even though they were small in the photograph, it was clear the way they were clinging to one another.
And above all the photos blared the title: “Hicks in the mix with gay lover tryst???”
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Corey yelled, sitting up and grabbing his hair. Nausea washed through him as the blood rushed from his head, making him so dizzy he was amazed he didn’t pass out. No, no, this couldn’t be happening! “Who? How?”
The photos themselves weren’t completely incriminating. But the words were. A quick scan of the article showed the reporter (if people who wrote for trashy blogs like this could even be called that) didn’t have any details on Corey himself. But they didn’t need to.
‘Yesterday evening,’ someone called Dez Starr wrote, ‘Reyse Hickson was caught frolicking in the sea with a mysterious boy toy. According to the eyewitness that snapped these shots, the pair got pretty cozy, kissing, hugging and holding hands as they watched the sunset on the private beach in Fort Ladrillo, California.
‘Hickson was supposed to be taking a break while his dear old dad recovered from a stroke, but it looks like Hicks might have had something more sordid on the brain.’
The text was broken up with a couple of photos of Reyse performing on stage, then one of him and Bella at a recent movie premiere.
‘Hickson’s management has always fiercely denied the superstar is anything less than straight and he’s reportedly been dating British actress Bella Dalton for the last year and a half. But with the rest of Below Zero all throwing themselves out of the closet, it only seemed a matter of time before Hicks joined the club.
‘Speaking to numerous fans, this news comes as a devastating blow. “I can’t believe he would lie to us like this!” one tearful tween proclaimed on her Twitter feed after these damming photos were released late last night. “It’s just disgusting,” an older Hickson enthusiast denounced. “I’ve been a fan for years, but I’m burning my CDs. I don’t want my kids seeing this perverted behavior!” “Poor Bella!” another young woman decried on her Instagram with a photo of the stunning Brit. “She deserves better!”
‘So far, Hickson’s label has refused to comment. But surely they’ll have to fess up soon. Has Reyse been lying to us this whole time? Has this shifty stranger bamboozled our beloved star and corrupted him with his wicked ways? Come on Hicks, tell the truth!’
Corey looked up at Reyse to see him white as a sheet and trembling. “It’s everywhere,” Reyse whispered, fear cracking his voice. “I’ve got twenty missed calls from Kevin. I don’t know…it’s…”
“I’m so sorry,” Corey said, tears burning behind his own eyes. He grabbed Reyse and pulled him in for a hug. “This is all my fault. Oh my god, I should have stayed away, I should have-”
“No,” Reyse said fiercely. “No, Corey, no.” He leaned back and held Corey’s face either side. His eyes were blotchy and his cheeks wet, but his expression was furious. “Don’t you dare apologize. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sorry I couldn’t be normal. But I’m not sorry we had these few days together.”
Corey swallowed, the lump in his throat so big it was painful. “But it’s over, isn’t it?”
Reyse’s lip wobbled and he let Corey go, reaching for his phone. “I have to speak to Kevin,” he said in a tiny voice.
There was nothing for Corey to do but sit and watch his lover put the phone to his ear and wait for the call to connect. “Kevin, I-”
Corey couldn’t make out what was said exactly, but he could hear the screaming from where he sat. The only clear word he made out was ‘fucking’ used many times over. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he ended with after a minute of beyond furious berating.
“He’s just a friend,” Reyse shouted back. He managed to keep his voice steady, but his hand groped until it found Corey’s, squeezing it painfully tight. He screwed his eyes shut, forcing the tears to tumble down his cheeks, but he kept his words strong. “I don’t know who took those pictures, but there was no kissing. Just two buddies getting drunk and blowing off steam, okay?”
Of course Corey didn’t like hearing that, but it needed to be said. He lifted Reyse’s hand and kissed the back of it, showing his support. His heart ached. He would do anything to try and make this better.
Kevin seemed to calm down at that. Corey could hear he was still speaking on the other end of the line, but he wasn’t spitting feathers anymore. Corey guessed he was still pissed as all hell, but at least he seemed to be listening to what Reyse was saying. Even if it was a lie.
“Uh, no,” Reyse said, glancing at Corey. He looked guilty. “I guess. Couldn’t we just- Okay. But- But he is a friend. I don’t get why-”
The screaming started again. Corey shifted over and hugged Reyse’s side. “It’s okay,” Corey whispered into his ear. “Just do what he says. I can take care of myself.”
Reyse screwed his eyes up again, more tears leaking between the lids. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed to Corey. Corey kissed his shoulder and rubbed his arm. “Okay. Okay, yes, fine,” Reyse said loudly. “We’ll do it your way. I give up.”
He jabbed the red telephone icon to end the call and threw his phone across the room. Luckily it just hit the carpet, so it didn’t crack or break. Then he turned and buried his face in Corey’s chest.
“Shh, shh,” Corey said. As much as he wanted to scream and punch things himself, he had to hold i
t together for Reyse’s sake. “It’s okay.”
“It’s fucking not,” Reyse growled. He rubbed his face and looked up at Corey, his eyes blazing in fury. “I have to claim you’re an obsessed fan. That after you saved me from that mugging you wouldn’t leave me alone and Kevin wants a restraining order placed against you.”
Corey had a pretty good poker face. But he had to admit that hit him like a sucker punch to the gut.
“What the fuck?” he whispered. “I – you don’t need that. I’ll just stay away, I promise.”
“A restraining order looks good for any press digging around,” Reyse snarled. The tears were free flowing from his eyes now. He hardly seemed to notice as they ran down his face.
“Better than two friends just hanging out?” Corey asked in disbelief.
“He knows we’re not just friends!” Reyse cried, slapping the mattress. “He’s fucking punishing me!” He balled his fists up and pressed them into his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Corey. But I have to fly back to LA immediately, do a press release, then fly out to see Bella in England and work on damage control.”
Corey couldn’t speak for a moment. “It’s okay,” he bit out eventually. His mind was spinning, like he was on a bad high, struggling to focus. “We knew this couldn’t last. It had to end sometime.”
“Not like this,” Reyse said pitifully. He dropped his hands and looked at Corey. “I hoped…I thought maybe…”
Maybe there was some way they could keep this up. Yeah, Corey had fooled himself with that daydream too. But it was a fantasy. This was reality. To give Reyse false hope now would be cruel.
Corey leaned forward, gently cradling Reyse’s face as he gave him a sweet, chaste kiss on the lips. “I will never, ever forget you, Reyse Hickson,” he said, keeping his voice as even as he could. “I’m so glad I met you.”
“I won’t forget you, either,” Reyse said. He gripped Corey’s wrists so hard it hurt. “This isn’t the end. I’ll find a way.”
Corey took a deep breath. “Come here,” he said gently, pulling Reyse in for a hug. Corey held him until the sobs stopped wracking his chest and his breathing became steady once again. Then Corey brushed any lingering tears from his face and ran his fingers through his soft, blond hair. “It’s okay.”
He encouraged Reyse to embrace him again, resting his head on Corey’s bare chest. Then Corey reached down to the floor for Reyse’s phone and opened the camera app with a single swipe. Corey had always thought people that took these sorts of photos were kind of stupid. But as he captured the image of Reyse hugging him tightly, Corey looking longingly down at him, he thought maybe he finally got it. They didn’t have anyone else to take a photo like that for them, so they had to try and immortalize the moment for themselves, even if it was a little staged.
“There you go,” Corey said, holding the photo up for Reyse to see when he opened his eyes.
“Oh,” Reyse said softly. “That’s beautiful.”
Corey could kid himself that maybe Reyse Hickson, international superstar, might not forget his face now. But everyone forgot about Corey. That was just the way of it.
Unfortunately, they had no time to linger. Kevin already had a car on the way to collect Reyse and take him back to the private plane he’d be riding back to LA Corey needed to book his own ticket and find his own way home. That seemed right, in a twisted sort of way.
“I’ll pay for it all,” Reyse promised as he hastily packed his bags and threw on some clothes.
Corey shook his head. “You already did,” he assured him. Corey had barely touched that five grand sitting in his bank account. “I’ll be okay. What about your dad?”
Reyse looked pained. “He didn’t want to see me anyway,” he mumbled, aggressively aiming socks at his messy case. “I’ll talk to Mom, she can explain…” He trailed off, going pale again. “Oh…god. They’ll see the photos. They’ll know.”
“Tell them what you told Kevin,” Corey said firmly. “Not that obsessive fan crap, but that we’re friends who got a bit wasted and the article is bullshit. It’ll be fine.”
Corey wasn’t wholly convinced of that, but he had to make Reyse believe it. “Okay,” Reyse said, letting out a breath. “Okay.” He zipped up his carry-on and stood it with his suitcase.
He was ready to go.
“I don’t want-” he began.
“Shh,” Corey said, standing up and hugging him. He was grateful he’d slept in his underwear for modesty. He hugged Reyse to him, inhaling his particular musk for the last time. “It’s all right, I promise. It’ll be okay.” Reyse nodded against his neck. “Can I ask you to do me a favor, though?”
“Anything,” Reyse said, looking up at him.
Corey brushed his knuckles against Reyse’s check. “Talk to your band friends. Tell them the truth. Open up. They love you. They’ll look after you.”
Reyse bit his lip. “Okay,” he said, his voice barely audible.
Then his phone started flashing. It was still on silent, but that was the driver calling to say he’d arrived. There was nothing for Corey to do but kiss his sweet, beautiful, incredible lover goodbye and close the door behind him.
He picked up his clothes and dressed like his body belonged to someone else, then set Reyse’s room straight. Once he was certain Reyse would have gone, he carefully opened his door, then ran to his own room, closing the door and lying on the bed he’d never slept in.
Only then did he allow the tears to silently fall. He didn’t wipe at them, he just blinked, encouraging them to slide down past his ears and onto the pillow. After a few minutes, he steeled himself and pulled out his phone.
Then he began the miserable task of deleting and blocking Reyse from every possible means of communication he could think of before booking his flight home.
21
Reyse
The first Reyse truly believed it was over was when he realized he no longer had Corey’s contact details. They had never swapped numbers, but now Reyse couldn’t find him on Facebook, Instagram, anything. He was gone.
He did his best not to cry on the jet, but he stared numbly out the window for most of the short flight, trying to rub his aching heart through his chest.
For all he’d known this was coming, he was still bowled over by shock. Somehow, this was ten times worse than Jon. With Jon, they had been able to have a sweet goodbye, to slip gracefully from each other’s lives. It felt like Corey had been ripped from Reyse’s grasp with no chance at all to really process what was happening.
It was done.
Reyse stared at the one and only photo he had of the two of them until he completely zoned out, losing track of time as the plane began its descent into LAX. Somehow, Corey had managed to make it look like someone had taken a candid photo without them noticing. Not like those vulgar snapshots yesterday by whoever had invaded their privacy. More like a photographer at a wedding. Although Reyse’s cheeks were a little blotchy, he looked peaceful with his eyes closed against Corey’s bare chest. The expression on Corey’s face as he looked down at Reyse could only be read one way as far as Reyse was concerned.
It was full of love.
And now it was gone. Without any way to contact him, Reyse would have to try and hold on to the particular timbre of Corey’s voice. The way his shoulders moved. The exact shade of chestnut of his eyes. The ways his hands felt on Reyse’s skin.
He hardly heard the flight attendant as they disembarked, taking his luggage back on the tarmac like he was a puppet on a string, moving on the whim of someone else. Kevin was waiting for him by a privately rented black car, his arms folded across his chest as he glared at Reyse through the black sunglasses he hardly ever removed. He was skinny with slicked-back brown hair and a downturned mouth.
“Get in the car,” he snapped in his incongruous gravelly voice as soon as Reyse was close enough. Like a parent picking their kid up after getting in trouble at school. Reyse was sure Kevin would love nothing more than to ground Reyse for brea
king the rules as he saw it. But that wasn’t a possibility.
“Kevin-” he began as he sat down.
Kevin slammed the door on him and stormed around the car to get in the other side. Reyse shot the driver an apologetic look as he buckled up. The driver locked eyes with him in the rearview mirror, offered Reyse a single nod, then turned his gaze forward.
“Our PR people have worked on a statement,” Kevin said as he threw his ass in the car. As soon as he closed the door after him, he banged on the window to instruct the driver to move. “It’s already been released, but you need to memorize it word for fucking word or so help me god I’ll book you on nothing but kids’ TV shows for the next month and shut you out of the writing process entirely for the next record.”
He thrust his tablet in front of Reyse’s nose then smoothed down his tie, calming himself. His words made Reyse’s blood run cold. Not so much the threat about the TV shows. He didn’t feel like working with kids was the hardship Kevin imagined he did. But he’d worked so hard to get his feet under the table for the production of the new album. It was incredibly important to him to have at least some control over the direction of his music.
So he took the tablet and read the paragraph Sun City had written for him, swallowing the lies without saying a thing.
It was exactly what Kevin had told him they were going to do. The statement basically said that Reyse had indulged an overenthusiastic fan too far. It painted Reyse as someone with a heart of gold, not wanting to upset the guy who had saved him earlier in the month from the mugging. But it very much depicted Corey as a loser who had latched on to Reyse and tracked him down while Reyse was trying to spend time with his family.
It also stated that the restraining order was already being put in place.
Reyse’s eyes burned. Anyone who looked at those photos would surely see the ease and affection between two people who were at least friends, if not lovers. He wanted to challenge Kevin and tell him that no one was going to let them get away with this. But Kevin’s mulish expression made the words die in his throat.