Silver Bush: Awkward Book Three

by Heller, JB

  I smile. “I’m not just anyone, Tilly. You and I both know that. I’ve thought this out. I get that Curt is part of the deal—I’m okay with it. And the kids?” I grin. “I won’t pretend I know what I’m doing with them, but I’m willing to learn. They’re tiny pieces of you. How could I not love them?”

  Before she can respond, a knock comes from the front door. “That’ll be the pizza,” I say, sliding out from under her legs.

  I pay for the pizza and return to the couch. “You want a plate or should we just eat it out of the box?”

  “The box is fine, but we might need napkins,” she says, starting to swing her legs off to the side.

  Dropping the box on the far end of the couch, I grab her legs. “Tell me where they are—I’ll get them.”

  She licks her lips. “There should be a roll of paper towels on the bench beside the microwave.”

  “I’m on it,” I say with a wink.

  Curt may have treated her like a princess, but I’m going to treat her like a damn queen.

  My queen.

  “It was perfect,” I tell my girls on our three-way video chat. “Except for my buster at the start of the night, but I completely forgot about the pain in my knees after a while. We talked for hours. It’s like we were never apart.”

  Reagan’s eyes shine with delight. “I’m so happy for you, Till. I’ve been doing some research. Seventy-two percent of lost-love relationships that were rekindled after five or more years apart end up staying together for the long haul.”

  “You and your damn statistics. Love is not an equation, Reags,” Charlotte points out.

  Reagan shrugs. “It’s my thing. I thought it was interesting and would be reassuring.”

  “Thanks,” I say. “Those aren’t bad odds.”

  “Odds schmodds,” Charlotte interjects. “Now get to the good stuff. Did he kiss you?”

  I sigh. “No. I wanted him to—so badly. Unfortunately, he was a perfect gentleman. He kissed my temple earlier in the night when he was looking after me, and again when he left. But that’s it.”

  Both my girls frown.

  “Maybe he didn’t know you wanted it? I’m terrible with reading subtle signals—that’s why Rhett’s perfect for me. Ain’t nothing subtle about my man.” Reagan beams.

  I chuckle. “There’s nothing subtle about you either, babe. You two are the biggest pair of horndogs I’ve ever seen.”

  “And proud of it,” she chirps. “Damn straight,” comes from the background before Rhett pokes his head into the video window and shoots a wink our way then plats a wet one on Reagan.

  “Eww, get a room,” I tease.

  Charlotte rolls her eyes when the kiss goes on a little too long to be appropriate for an audience. “Are you two into exhibitionism now?”

  Reagan giggles, and Rhett takes the phone from her. “Not particularly. So, on that note, I’m taking my girl to bed. Later, ladies!”

  Charlotte and I stare at each other and burst out laughing at the same time. She shakes her head, a fond smile on her lips. “If I didn’t have an amazing man of my own, I’d be seriously jealous right now.”

  “Lucky bitches,” I mumble. “I haven’t had sex in, like, two years.”

  Char’s eyes widen with horror. “Say that again.”

  I shrug. “Curt and I split almost two years ago. We hadn’t had sex for a couple of months before that, so, yeah.”

  Her jaw drops. “Oh, honey, I—I don’t know what to say. You poor thing. I had no idea it had been that long.”

  “It’s okay. Truth be told, I was too terrified of falling pregnant again for it to bother me,” I explain. “Obviously Astrid was a surprise. We planned for Sailor because we didn’t want Astrid to be an only child, but then bam, three months later I was pregnant with Ari.”

  A look of longing flits over Charlotte’s expression so briefly I barely catch it. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to—”

  She shakes her head. “Don’t you dare. You don’t need to censor yourself around me just because I’m having difficulties in that department. I’ve always known it wouldn’t be easy for me because of the demon that resides in my nether regions.”

  “All the same, I should be more sensitive about it,” I argue.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Now, back to the good stuff. When are you seeing your stepbrother dearest again?”

  I shudder. “Could you not call him that? It weirds me out.”

  A devious smirk tips her lips. “No, and speaking of, you should really read that book. It’s brilliant.”

  “Dude, no.”

  Her laughter fills my ears, and I shake my head. Why are my friends such randy tarts?

  A knock sounds at the front door, and Ari calls out, “Morning, Mummy!” as the door opens and she waltzes in, Curt’s mother behind her.

  “I’ve gotta go. My mother-in-law just brought Ari home. Talk later,” I say then end the call and turn my attention to my little lady. “Hey, baby. How was your weekend?”

  Ari climbs into my lap at the dining table and snuggles in for a big squishy hug like she always does after a weekend away. “Dood. Granma made cake!”

  My mother-in-law, Gia, goes about making herself a coffee while I cuddle my baby girl. I’m lucky to have Curt’s parents in my life. They’re so good with the kids and to me.

  “And who ate all the cake before everyone woke up yesterday morning?” Gia utters to Ari.

  Ari’s cheeks go pink, and she tries desperately to hide her cheeky little smile. “I did,” she whispers.

  My eyes widen. “You ate a whole cake?”

  She nods then shrugs her tiny shoulders. “It was yummy.”

  I shake my head at her. She grins back at me then gives me a big kiss on the cheek and another snuggle.

  “How about you go play with your dollies, Ari, while Mummy and Granma have our coffee?” Gia suggests.

  “Okee!” Ari replies then scrambles off my lap.

  Uh-oh. I turn my gaze to a smiling Gia. “What’s up?”

  “I had an interesting phone call from Mrs. Wintergreen that lives two doors up this morning. Her grandson, William, is the pizza delivery boy at Mario’s.” She pauses, raises an eyebrow at me, then grins.

  Oh boy ...

  “Apparently, he delivered a pizza here last night, and a strapping young man answered the door and paid for said pizza.”

  I say nothing, but I’m pretty sure my reddening cheeks are speaking for me. This is the price of living in a small town. Everyone knows everyone’s business.

  Gia smiles brightly, takes a sip of her coffee, and waits me out.

  My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I ponder an appropriate response for my ex’s mother. “So yeah,” I start. “Umm, Lee is in town for a little while, and we were catching up.”

  “I know.” Gia’s eyes sparkle. “I saw him down Main Street through the week. I swear, I nearly crashed my car. That boy has grown into a fine specimen.”

  I spray coffee over the table. “Gia!” I snap at the same time as I get up to retrieve the dishcloth to clean the mess I’ve made.

  She shrugs. “What? I have eyes, Tilly. Just because I could be his mother doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the view.”

  My nose wrinkles. This conversation is not going how I expected it to.

  “So, what was he doing here? Did you two catch up, if you get my meaning ... ” She winks.

  Oh God, I’m going to pass out. My ex’s mother is asking if I had sex with my high-school boyfriend. What is happening right now?

  She widens her eyes at me. “Well, out with it. I’m not getting any younger.”

  I shake my head. “No, we did not catch up like that. We haven’t spoken in a really long time. We were catching up in the literal sense of the term.”

  Her shoulders slump. “Tilly, darling, you’ve been on your own for a long while. I wouldn’t begrudge you for moving on. And besides, everyone knows you and that boy were made for each other. I would have liked for things t
o have worked out between you and my Curt, but they didn’t. You’ve given me three beautiful grandbabies who I treasure with all my heart. But you need to start living for yourself a little too, sweetheart.”

  My eyes prickle, and I have to hold my breath to stop myself from crying. Her saying that means a lot to me. I didn’t even know just how much until this very moment. “Thank you, Gia,” I whisper, still trying to control my emotions.

  “Phil and I just want you to be happy, honey. As does Curt,” she assures me.

  I nod. “Okay,” I breathe.

  She waves me off and moves right along with the conversation. “Now, when are you seeing Lee again?”

  I grin and shake my head. “I don’t know. Maybe through the week.”

  “Well, if you need a sitter, you just let me know.”

  Later that afternoon, Ari and I are waiting outside Sailor’s kindy to pick him up when my phone chimes with a text from an unknown number.

  ~Hey, Till. It’s me, Lee. Forgot to get your number the other night, so got it off Dad. Hope that’s okay.~

  My smile is so wide it hurts my cheeks as I type out my reply.

  ME ~Of course.~

  I slide my phone back into my pocket, and Sailor runs out the door with his Doctor Strange backpack hanging off his tiny body. I crouch and catch him in my arms. “Hey, big boy. How was your day?”

  He beams at me. “Great! I told the class that birds, sloths, and octopuses don’t fart.”

  I snort. “I bet they liked that,” I say as I scruff up his perfectly combed hair.

  “Mummm,” he whines, and I drop a kiss on his head.

  A few minutes later, we pull up at the school where Astrid and Dixie are waiting at the gate with their teacher. They run out to the van when they see it and jump in with a joined, “Hey!”

  “Hey, girls,” I call as I wait for them to do their seat belts then pull out. “How was your day?”

  “Good,” they chime.

  “I picked a booger as big as my thumbnail today!” Dixie announces.

  I cringe. “Please tell me you didn’t eat it, Dix.”

  Her toothy smile reflects in my rearview mirror, and she nods. “Yep, and it was slimy.”

  Bile rises in my throat, and Sailor is right there with me.

  “That’s disgusting. Do you know how many germs are up your nose?” he says, his little face scrunched in distaste.

  There’s a black Lexus parked in my usual spot out the front of Mum and Al’s. “Who’s here, Mummy?” Astrid asks.

  I shrug. “Don’t know, baby. Let’s go in and see.”

  The kids and I pile out of the car. Dixie throws the door open before I get to the front porch and runs inside screeching, “Lee!”

  Well, that explains the fancy-arse car out front. I trail behind the kids, and my heart melts at the sight of Lee swinging Dixie up in his arms. She smooshes her face in his neck and squeezes him tight. He squeezes right back.

  “Hey, princess, how was school?” he asks when he places her carefully on her feet.

  “Good. Me and Astrid are in the same class. Do you know Astrid?” Dixie asks, pointing at my daughter who is now hiding behind me.

  Lee smiles at me then shifts his focus to the little blonde head poking around my side. He crouches and extends a hand to her. “Hi, Astrid. I’m Lee.”

  She eyes him for a few moments, and I curl my hand around her shoulder. “It’s okay, baby girl. Lee’s a friend.”

  Astrid rolls her big blue eyes at me. “I’m not a baby,” she huffs then stomps over to Lee, accepts his offered hand, and gives it a solid shake. “Hello, Mr. Lee.”

  He grins at her. “Just Lee is fine.”

  She shrugs. “Okay, Just Lee. I’m Astrid, and I’m a big girl. I’m six. Ari is a baby—she’s only three.”

  “I see. Definitely not a baby then,” he agrees.

  Astrid turns to face me, a satisfied smile on her face. “See, Mummy? Just Lee knows.”

  I chuckle. So much sass. “My bad, honey.”

  She nods then turns back to Lee. “So, who are you, Just Lee? Why are you at my nanny’s?”

  Oh goodness. How to explain this in a non-confusing way to a six-year-old ...

  Before either Lee or I can answer, Dixie does. “Lee is my big brother.”

  Astrid’s little eyes bug out while Sailor frowns.

  I add, “Lee is Poppa Al’s son from before he married Nanny.”

  “So Lee is your brother?” Astrid asks me.

  “Kinda,” I hedge. I don’t want to say yes since it seems like Lee is going to be around the kids a bit more from now on and they’re already going to be confused by all of this. “He’s not really my brother. But he is Dixie’s big brother just like I’m her big sister.”

  “But Poppa Al married Nanny, so now Lee is your brother too. That’s what Jenny’s mum told her when she married Josh’s daddy. They are brother and sister now,” Dixie adds helpfully.

  Well, shit. I glance at Lee, then my mum enters the room holding a tray of cut fruit and veggies for the kids to snack on. This successfully distracts most of them from the conversation. But not Sailor. He saunters over, a carrot stick in hand and a confused little frown on his face.

  “What’s up, buddy?” I ask.

  He takes a chomp from the carrot and chews slowly. All the while, his inquisitive eyes bounce from Lee to me then back again. When he’s finished chewing, he narrows his gaze on Lee and says, “You didn’t tell me you’re my uncle at the grocery store.”

  Lee shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. “That’s because I’m not, not really.”

  Sailor raises an eyebrow, and it’s the cutest damn thing in the world—my wee man grilling Lee. “But you’re Aunty Dixie’s brother, so that makes you my uncle.”

  Sailor’s not the average four-year-old. He’s excessively smart—scary smart, if I’m being honest. He can already read and does so frequently, devouring information like it’s candy.

  Lee swallows, spins his baseball cap backwards, then crouches to Sailor’s level, who in turn takes another bite from his carrot stick.

  “You see, me and your mum? We’ve been friends for a really long time. We were already grown up when my dad and her mum got married and made Dixie. So, we’re just friends. Good friends—no, best friends,” Lee tries to explain.

  Sailor mulls this over then nods slowly. “Okay,” he says then turns his back on us before returning to the snack tray.

  Lee’s eyes meet mine as he stands to his full height. “I thought you said Astrid was the full-on one?” he asks with a quirked brow.

  “She is, but Sailor is crazy smart. He’s full-on in a whole different way to Astrid. She’s a girly-girl down to the core and high-maintenance to boot.”

  He nods. “I see.”

  I snort softly. He has no idea. “A high-maintenance princess on her own wouldn’t be so hard, but add in a borderline genius and a toddler? Absolute mayhem.”

  His brows crease as his eyes move back to the kids bickering over who gets the last apple slice. “Hmmm,” he murmurs. “I’m sure I can handle them.” He nods to himself as he says this. When he returns his gaze to me, he smiles. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

  “The usual: early dinner, bath time, bedtime, then collapsing on the couch with a glass of wine until the kids are actually asleep. Then, I finally get to take a shower and crawl in my own bed.”

  “Want some help with all that?” he asks.

  I blink at him. “What?”

  A serious air takes over, and his eyes bore into mine. “When I lost you, Till, I lost my best friend, my soulmate, my smile, my laugh—my everything. I’m not backing down or walking away this time, babe. So, tomorrow, I’m going to come over, give you a hand, and get to know the kids while spending some time with you.”

  My heart pounds. I draw my bottom lip between my teeth as tears prick the back of my eyes, and I nod. “I’d like that.”

  Lee’s smile is everythi
ng. The dimples I’ve always loved pop in his cheeks, and his eyes shine with promise. I can’t help but match his level of enthusiasm, even though I know he’s in for an evening of hell.

  She said yes. I want to fist pump the air, but that would be corny as shit, and I’m a fucking grown-up.

  I wasn’t sure if it would be too much, too fast, asking to spend time with the kids so soon. But she needs to know how serious I am about this.

  There is nothing I want more than her. And the kids are part of her. All three of them resemble her in different ways, and I love it. They also resemble their dad, and ain’t that a hard pill to swallow.

  I never liked Curt. He always had a thing for Tilly back in the day. The second she and I broke up, he was there. Arsehole.

  A gentle touch yanks me from my thoughts. “You okay? You’re clenching your jaw,” Tilly says softly.

  She must have moved closer while I was stuck in my head, because she’s pressed into my side now, her full breasts pressed snugly against my bicep. I shake my head. “I’m fine, babe. Just thinking.”

  Her eyes search mine, and I have to physically hold myself in check or I’ll kiss her right here in front of all the kids. And I do not want an audience the first time I kiss my girl in more than six years.

  She licks her lips, and goddamn it, blood rushes south, and I have to take a step away from her. I twist my cap back around, shading her view of my lust-fuelled gaze. Now is not the time. Besides, I’m pretty sure once I cross that line, I’m not going to want to stop for a long-arse time.

  I’m trying to get a hold on my burgeoning hard-on when a little body wraps around my legs. A set of pale-blue eyes framed by white-blonde curls peer up at me. And just like that, the boner situation is a non-issue. I smile at Ari and run a hand through her soft hair. “Hey, pretty girl.”

  “Hey,” she chirps. “Up!”

  I bend, hook her under the arms, and lift her into mine. “And what did you do today, little miss?”