“What do you mean?”
“John works for Rawley.”
Nathan had to run. When Eric had said those simple words, humming had begun in Nathan’s head. He felt as if the walls around him were closing in. If he’d sat around trying to come up with the worst possible answer to the mystery of Alanna he could imagine, he wouldn’t have thought of anything better. Of course, it was Rawley. It seemed like less of a coincidence than confirmation that Rawley had done what he’d set out to do when Nathan had still run with him. He’d become a force to be reckoned with. He was also somehow everywhere and nowhere in particular, though Eric told him Rawley now based himself in Utah.
Nathan sat with that hum in his head and thought that he had helped make all this possible. It was at least a little bit his fault. He’d left Rawley when things had become too rough for him but he hadn’t stopped him and he’d helped him to become what he was.
“Are you alright, man?” Erica had asked him softly.
Nathan had only nodded, thanked Eric for his trouble, and headed out back through the lounge and dining hall, through the lobby and outside.
He had to run, had to get out of his skin, had to tear up something up with his claws…
Nathan shifted and bounded through the snow into the woods. He tried to let his primal bear nature take over and forget about Alanna and Rawley and how whatever was so upsetting to Alanna was somewhat his fault.
He didn’t know how long he ran but it wasn’t enough. He stayed out for hours before finally heading back to the lodge and making his way back to his residence on the east wing.
When Nathan got back to his own suite, he was breathless and sweaty. He stripped off his shirt and guzzled some water in his kitchen, leaning on the counter and unable to think about anything but his own past and how it had come back to bite him right in the ass.
The knock was startling and Nathan frowned, glancing at his phone. It was two in the morning and he growled under his breath. The only thing that would bring a knock on his door so late on a weekday was some emergency. Somebody’s bathroom was probably flooding. He was in for some guests potentially screaming in his face.
He caught her scent just before he opened the door and it made his cock twitch. And there she was. Alanna jumped a little as if surprised he’d actually answered and he saw the way her gaze moved up and down his body. He flexed a little and felt the tension in the room crank up by several degrees.
But knowing what he knew now, he didn’t assume she had come to his room just for fun.
“Are you okay?” he said quickly.
“Yes,” Alanna breathed. He let her in and shut the door and she glanced around his huge suite with its high-end furniture and paintings hung on the wall and then her gaze returned to him and he felt looked at in a way he didn’t hate. “I just…I’m sorry. For…”
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” he said quietly.
He wanted to tell her he knew. The angels of his better nature screamed at him to tell her that he knew Rawley. That, if nothing else, he understood.
But then she would look at him differently.
Alanna took a deep breath. She looked sweet. Her hair was tousled and fell around her shoulders and she wore one of the lodge’s bathrobes, cinched tight around her trim waist.
“I kissed you because I wanted to,” Alanna said, looking up at him. “I kissed you because I feel good when I’m around you, even when I see you walk by. I felt safe when you came to fix the sink.” She chuckled at that and he wanted her so badly, he thought he’d die of it. “I just…I haven’t felt either of those things in so long. And I wanted…I want to feel like that.” She swallowed and her gaze was hungry when she said, “Can you make me feel good? And safe? Even if it’s only for tonight?”
He couldn’t tell her the truth and he felt like the worst person in the world. But telling her wouldn’t make her feel good and safe. So instead he stepped forward and covered her mouth with his.
This time Alanna let herself be kissed. He nudged her mouth open and she acquiesced, letting him in, and he tasted her. His tongue curled hers and she clung to him. For a couple of minutes, they were lost in kisses, pulling away so he could nip gently at her bottom lip, teasing her with gentle tastes as his palms rested at the narrowest part of her little waist. He kissed her softly then, teasingly and mouthed along her cheek to her ear.
“I can make you feel good,” he whispered because he only wanted to give her what she needed. “I can make you feel safe.”
Alanna looked up at him and nodded as he tugged on the belt of her robe. It fell open and he saw the skimpy pajama outfit she was wearing, the sight of all that newly revealed skin making his mouth water. He pushed the robe off her shoulders and leaned forward, kissing her collarbone, curling the thin strap of her camisole around his finger as he gently slid it down off her shoulder.
“Please,” she whispered.
Nathan growled and picked her up in his arms. She weighed nothing much at all and she gasped a little as his arms came up underneath her, sweeping her up. He kissed her again and carried her bridal-style through his dimly lit suite. She felt so small in his arms and she willingly trusted him, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him haul her off to bed.
He hadn’t had anyone over in a while. When he felt like sowing wild oats, Nathan went down to the bars in town and it was never hard to find somebody for one night. And on occasion, rules be damned, he did fool around with a guest. But this already felt different.
Nathan had a king-sized bed covered in a thick, fluffy red comforter. He paid no attention to decor and things like that. Conner had paid to have all the suites decorated however his brothers liked and Nathan had left it up to the professionals. On top of that, the maid service kept his place perfect just as they did the lodge’s guest rooms. He was glad for all that now. He wanted Alanna to be impressed with him. But she wasn’t looking at his big bed or the three-thousand dollar rug on the floor or the expensive club chair in the corner.
Alanna was only looking at him as he laid her down on the bed. She was watching him with fire in his eyes as she raised her arms above her head, dark hair splayed around her. She looked so beautiful to him, in his bed, on his territory. That alone turned him on and his cock grew in his jeans as he unbuttoned his fly.
He just stared at her for a minute, getting a good eye full: the curve of her breasts beneath her camisole, the way her thighs parted for him as if impatient, the strip of stomach visible above the elastic waistband of her tiny shorts. He bit his lip and slipped his hand down into his boxer briefs just to stroke himself a couple of times and get a little relief. She sighed, watching him, her chest heaving. Mimicking him, she reached down and palmed herself, teasing herself through her shorts with her middle finger. He moaned, watching her, feeling his cock leak with arousal.
He was filled with a hunger to have her in any way possible and it was so overwhelming, he froze for a second as if uncertain where to start.
Make her feel good.
“How do you want me?” Nathan breathed. “What makes you feel good?”
Alanna blinked at him and the fact that she seemed so surprised made him want to please her all the more. But it took a lot not to simply grab her and thrust inside of her, taking what he wanted to make his.
“I...I want your cock,” she said, her voice trembling, “I want it inside me.” She was breathless, her chest heaving. Nathan reached down to palm her breast and she pressed against his hand, urging him on. “I want you…”
“Tell me, love.” He growled it and leaned down, biting her breast gently, just enough for her to know he could be rougher if she liked. He’d be anything for her. He wanted her to know it. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want your tongue,” she said. “I want you to taste me. Please, Nathan.”
“Yes,” he whispered.
“Do you like to do that?” she asked doubtfully.
“Do I like to eat a girl out?” Nathan ch
uckled and winked up at her. He reached down and pressed his fingers to her through her little shorts and she moaned. “I fucking love it. I love to taste a woman. And the way you smell…” He buried his face in her neck and licked her skin, pressing himself to her, pulling away just as she reached for him. “I bet you taste so sweet.”
She was responsive to him, answering his touches and his mouth with moans that only made his erection groan.
“You’re big,” she said, panting, clutching his shoulders. “Aren’t you? I can tell.”
“Comes with being a Strauss,” he chuckled into her skin, pressing his hand to her side, aroused and eager to explore every inch of her. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you.”
“You can hurt me just a little,” she whispered. She turned his head and he gazed into her eyes just as she reached down to slide her pale little hand into his jeans, beneath the tight band of his briefs.
“This is your time to feel good,” he argued, but he lost his breath as she stroked him.
“I like the way you feel,” she said. “In my hand…is that good?”
“Yes,” he whispered. He took her wrist, careful to be gentle, and against the desperate urge to come, he moved her hand away and kissed her deeply. “But this is your time.”
She smiled against his mouth even as she trembled within his arms and said, “Don’t make me wait too long. I’m wet for you.”
“Fuck…” He licked his lips and kissed her once more before beginning his journey down the length of her body.
Ever so slowly, he pulled down those little camisole straps and kissed each of her shoulders before tugging the top down over her bare breasts. Her nipples were so pert and rosy. He took each one in his mouth and sucked it.
Alanna’s nipples seemed to be especially sensitive. She gasped and writhed beneath him as he nipped and licked and her trembling thighs parted further, inviting him. His cock throbbed, wanting to answer that call but he forced himself to focus only on her pleasure.
“Nathan,” she whispered. “That’s so...god…oh God, that’s so...good…”
Experimentally, Nathan sank his teeth a little deeper into her beast, slowly and tentatively. But Alanna threw her head back and moaned and he grinned against her skin and bit her harder.
“Yes!” Alanna cried out, clutching his biceps, bringing him closer. “Yes...God…”
Not quite God, he thought, feeling giddy.
He chuckled into her chest at her vaguely coherent encouragement and slid her stretchy top further down to kiss along the line of her stomach to her belly. Her breath was short and he could feel her desperate anticipation as he slid her shorts down off her legs, taking her camisole with them, and leaving her naked but for a tiny pair of blue panties.
“Give me your tongue, Nathan…” Alanna pleaded tearfully but he could tell her pleasure partly came from the torture of making her wait.
“I will,” he whispered. “I promise. You smell so good. Jesus…”
“I feel like…” Alanna licked her lips and watched him kiss the insides of her thighs, raking his teeth against the sensitive skin there. “Like we’re connected. Like…”
Like maybe you’re my mate, he thought.
The thought seemed like a wild hair but, in this moment, he felt that it was true too. His every nerve was buzzing with a sense of possessiveness for this girl.
Mine! He wanted to shout it. He wanted to destroy anyone who would hurt her. But this wasn’t about that. This was about making her feel good, he had to remind himself.
He kissed the inside of her thigh and worked his way inward as she cried out, still trembling in anticipation of his mouth.
He might have taken hours if he hadn’t felt time at his heels as well as the revelation that he was keeping from her that hung over his head. But he still tried to go slow, to keep her on the precipice of pleasure for as long as either of them could bear.
“I gonna die,” Alanna breathed.
Nathan chuckled and whispered, “So dramatic.”
“Oh, shut up.” She laughed and just as quickly it turned into a helpless cry as his lips met her damp mound through her thin cotton panties.
She hissed as she arched up against him, attempting to hump his mouth. He reached down and took his cock out of his briefs and gave himself a few strokes before turning to his work as if he’d been given a seven-course meal after weeks of starvation. He licked her through her panties, gripping her hips, knowing he was teasing her clit, and grinning up against her as she squealed and gasped.
“Nathan.” He took pity at the pleading in her tone and finally slid her panties down, burying his nose in the dusting of dark curly hair there before plunging his tongue inside, holding her fast around her thighs to keep her still. “Oh my God, Nathan…your mouth…”
“How does it feel?” he murmured, pulling away just long enough to talk before he dove in again. “Tell me, love.”
“It feels like…” She could barely talk, she was breathing so hard. “L-like you’re gonna swallow me whole.”
“I am,” he mumbled, and for a while, he simply made out with her hot core, his own cock throbbing in response to her every gasp and cry.
He tasted her folds, exploring her soft, wet heat as she bucked against him. But she was helpless as he held her there, stilling her, and foisting nothing but her own pleasure on her. Finally, he sucked on her clit and she threw her head back and shook. Her tiny nub was firm and swollen and he went at it as if it were his favorite dessert, holding her fast as she screamed and shook with bliss.
He wished he could stand back and watch while tasting her at the same time as she came, her orgasm thundering through her until he finally pulled back and left soft little kisses along her thighs, leaving her pliant and gasping on his bed.
“I...will you still…” She flushed bright red, her chest rising and falling and he leaned over to take her nipple in his mouth again, leaving her whimpering. His cock was throbbing with need and he growled, shoving his jeans down to stroke himself.
“I want you,” she said. “I want…”
“Say it again,” he said under his breath. “Say what you said before. If you want it.”
“I want your cock,” she said. He knelt on the bed, his cock jutting out pink and firm and he climbed on top of her as she spread her thighs for him.
He saw the bite of fear in her eyes and shook his head, his heart aching for her. He only wanted this to ever feel good. “I won’t hurt you, love. I never would.” Tears leaked from her eyes and he kissed them away.
When he finally slid his cock inside her, she accepted it with a sigh. His bear wanted to go hard and thrust with abandon. He wanted to take her for his own and make his mark on her. But she had wanted tenderness, so he forced himself to slow, focused only on her.
“I feel so…” Alanna gasped and rocked against him, the two of them finding a rhythm as his cock filled her. “I’m so full of you. I can feel every inch of you…”
They wrapped their arms around each other and, entwined, just felt each other’s bodies as they merged into one flesh. His breath was hot as he mouthed at her neck, his hands sliding up her sides, his palms hot against her now sweat-slick skin.
Alanna finally urged him to go on faster, rocking back up against him until he sped up and pumped into her and he sank his teeth into her shoulder as he came. He’d intended on pulling out, but she held him fast and he spilled inside her, lost to pleasure as she clung to him.
“I wish I could go to the woods with you,” Alanna whispered into his skin. She was curled up against him, the two of them still naked in the sheets. She was going to return to her suite eventually. He just wished time would stop for a while.
“You could,” he said, stroking her hair. “If you want.”
“I can’t leave the lodge,” Alanna said. “But don’t ask me about it. I don’t want to talk about that.”
It took every bit of self-control not to demand what Rawley wanted her for. He figured John was som
e hired thug for Rawley. That much was clear. He just wondered if they were going to eventually leave themselves or if Rawley was going to come to the lodge for them.
“Okay.” He kissed her forehead. “Tell me what you like to do in the woods when you shift.”
“I always go to the water right away,” she said. She spoke in soft murmurs, looking past him out the window at the moon. “And I look for wildflowers. I like the ones in Colorado. I love finding wildflowers by a river. My parents died when I was a kid and it was just my brother and me for a long time. We didn’t have anything. We lived as bears and when we could find some work we’d assimilate as humans here and there. But we didn’t have a home, really, not like a house. But when I find wildflowers by a river, it feels like home to me. I remember playing in the wildflowers when I was a cub and my mom was still alive and my brother was really little. Colorado has pretty blue ones. Columbines and bluebells…”
“I never really noticed the flowers,” Nathan said. “I mean I always liked nature. But I guess it’s another thing I took for granted.”
“But you won’t anymore,” she said, and this time there was a smile in her voice.
“No,” he said. “I won’t anymore.”
“They say the fae live in the flowers,” Alanna said, drawing circles on his bare chest. “I used to imagine them when I was a girl. That the fae would come…”
“I bet you still do,” Nathan said.
She smiled at that and climbed on top of him and he groaned as she ground into his cock, her thighs hugging him. His cock swelled and she rocked against him as he cupped her ass and squeezed and slid his hands to travel up her body and knead her breasts.
“You’re right,” she said, sighing. “How’d you know that?”
“I don’t know.” He sat up and kissed her, touching every inch of her, attempting to memorize every part of her body with his hands as their breath mingled and his cock grew.
Nathan (Strauss Bear Shifter Brothers 0f Colorado Book 1) Page 7