Not Another Soldier

by Holt, Samantha

  “Or what?” I stare at him in disbelief. “Handing it over to the bad guys? Nick, we can’t do that!”

  “You can’t. I can. Go home, pretend nothing happened and I’ll sort it.”

  “No. No way.” I shake my head. How does he even expect to get a hold of these guys? I can just see Nick strolling into the roughest part of town and asking who’s missing some coke. “One, I’m not letting you do that and, two, we can’t hand over these drugs to those guys. I’m not going to be responsible for all this cocaine being on the streets. I would have thought you’d feel the same.”

  A pensive expression comes over his face, his teeth grind audibly. “I don’t like it any more than you do, short stuff. But I’ve got to admit, I’m scared for you. If you hand this over, what’s to say they’ll stop coming after you.”

  I sag a little, my righteousness disappearing fast. He’s right. I could probably put a banner across my apartment and declare I no longer have the drugs but who’s to say they’ll believe me? And Skinhead said he quite looked forward to killing me.

  But this is ridiculous. I can’t get involved with drug dealers and I definitely can’t let Nick handle it for me. Time to stand on my own two feet. I pull out my cell and skim down my calls until I get to the one received from Detective Matthews.

  “I can’t, Nick.” I give him an apologetic smile. I can see the fear he has for me burning bright in his eyes. I understand because I feel it too. My hands shake a little as the phone rings. But this is who I am. I’m a nurse. An upstanding citizen. An ex-army wife. I’m a good person and I’m going to do the right thing.

  ***

  Actually, it’s weird because by the time we’re done with the cops, I don’t feel scared anymore. I feel elated. Maybe this is closure? I don’t know. Detective Matthews was quite nice to me—probably because I just handed over the biggest stash of drugs he’s seen in a long time—and didn’t even look like he was remotely debating arresting me. Everything was in Rob’s name so I guess they couldn’t have made anything stick to me.

  Nick and the detective had a long chat about something. Then Detective Matthews started going on about my safety. He seemed pretty concerned when Nick told him everything. They’ll be sending patrol cars by and making sure the bad guys know I don’t have the drugs anymore. He muttered something ensuring the news picked up on the story. I should have paid more attention but I was so exhilarated, nothing was going in. I feel like the biggest weight has come off my shoulders. This is it. I can move forward.

  I peek at Nick out of the corner of my eye. He’s still tense, his knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel. I get that he’s worried but I don’t see why. I don’t have the drugs anymore so what would be the point in coming after me now? It would only draw attention to them. This is it. Call it womanly instinct if you want, but everything’s looking up from now on.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” Nick says through gritted teeth.

  “Looking like what?”

  “Like you want to pounce on me.” He offers me a twisted smile but it’s not very genuine.

  I giggle out of shock. Okay, so maybe I do want to jump his bones but I didn’t think I was that obvious.

  “Can’t I look at you without you assuming I want to fuck you?”

  He lets out a startled cough and flicks his gaze briefly to me. “Sienna, are you trying to kill me?”

  “What? I didn’t do anything!”

  “You look at me like that.” He lifts his hand from the steering wheel and gestures to me. “You lick your lips like that.” I bite my lip to keep my tongue from darting out. “And you say f-f…”

  “Yes?”

  “Fuck.”

  “And your point is? Come on, Nick, it’s not like you’re a prude.”

  “Yeah, but I’m trying to concentrate on keeping you safe and when you do stuff like that… say stuff like that. Geez, Sienna, all the damned blood rushes right out of my brain…”

  I glance down at his crotch and my cheeks flame as I realize he’s right. Shit, for all my bravado, I’m not as bold as I’d like to believe. I didn’t realize my teasing was having that kind of effect.

  But then just him sitting next to me makes me ache.

  I fold my arms and slump in my seat. “Sorry,” I mumble.

  Nick gives me a sideways grin and pats my knee. “Don’t be… just save it for later, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  “Good.” He doesn’t glance at me. Just keeps his eyes ahead. “’Cause I cannot wait to get you into bed. I’m going to kiss you and lick you all over. I’m going to spread your legs and bury my tongue in your sweet p—”

  “Nick!” I clap my hands over my ears. He’s teasing me and getting his revenge but his words are making me so hot and bothered, it’s all I can do not to jump on him and make us crash.

  He laughs and my stomach does a little dance of excitement. I love this. I love him. I love that we make each other laugh and turn each other on. I love that I feel so secure with him and that he knows all my little—and big—flaws. He sees me when I’m a wreck in the morning and somehow still adores me. When he looks at me, I know he doesn’t see my imperfections. He just sees someone beautiful. It’s pretty heady. I feel a little like when you have that first drink after a long week. My limbs are warm and loose, and my heart feels full.

  When my cheeks have cooled, I risk another peek at him and note the stiffness in his arms again, the rigidness in his expression.

  “You know you don’t need to play my protector any more, right?”

  “Babe, I’ll always be your protector.”

  Oh God. It’s such an old fashioned notion but I love it. The idea of being all protected and loved. I guess as much as we’ve evolved, some early human instincts will never disappear. But still I can’t have him going around looking like he’s my bodyguard. I want fun, casual Nick back. I’m planning on going go back to work the day after tomorrow and I want to make the most of our time together.

  “Relax,” I insist. “Nothing’s going to happen now.”

  He pauses to glance in the rear view mirror yet again and narrows his eyes. “I’m not so sure about that. I think we’re being followed.”

  I twist around and his hand comes to my shoulder to stop me. “Seriously?” I study him to see if he’s joking but that sexy mouth is pulled into a firm line. “But why?”

  “Who knows? But that car out there this morning was theirs. It’s the same one. Maybe they were hoping you’d lead them to the drugs.”

  “But I don’t have the drugs!”

  “They only started following us a few blocks back. I don’t think they picked up our tail until then. Maybe they don’t know we found them.”

  “Picked up our t— You’re not a fucking cop, Nick. Or a bodyguard! What are you talking about? Are you sure you’re not just being paranoid?” This feels like it’s all getting a little silly.

  “It’s the same guy. He was outside your apartment. I had a little word and told him to scram. Seems he didn’t get the message.” He scowls as he peers in the mirror. “And he picked up a friend.”

  I slap a hand over my open mouth, speaking from beneath it. “You had a word with him? Nick, you could have been killed! Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I didn’t want to scare you.”

  “Well, you’re scaring me now.” Hands clenched together, I watch the blue car in the side mirror. “You shouldn’t be taking those sort of risks.”

  “I was born to take risks, babe.”

  I narrow my eyes at his flippant remark. “You’re not on the battlefield now, you know. This is their territory. And I don’t see you carrying around an AK.”

  “An M16,” he corrects.

  I’m about to respond with something snide when he takes a turning off. “What are you doing?”

  “Going to try to lose them on the freeway.”

  “Wouldn’t it be safer just to go
back to my apartment and call the cops?” I don’t like this big man act. These guys are genuinely dangerous and I can see the adrenaline has caught up with him. He thinks he’s some kind of spy or something. I get that he’s got this idea in his head that it’s entirely up to him to keep me safe, but I don’t want him putting himself in danger for me.

  “There’s two of them in there now. If they decide to do something, I’m not so keen on my chances of protecting you. I’d feel a lot more comfortable losing them now.”

  Well I guess he has a point. And at least he’s realized he’s not Superman. Though I imagine I’ll always think of him that way. I hold back a sigh as my annoyance disappears and my need for him swells suddenly inside me. Damn, he is amazing.

  “Sienna,” he barks, “you’re doing it again and I could really do without it right now.” His gaze is intent on the road. He begins weaving in and out of the traffic. I have to brace myself on the dashboard as he applies the brakes unexpectedly. “Hold on, short stuff,” he orders.

  I swing my gaze from the side mirror to in front of us and practically bite my lip off trying to keep my squeals at bay. Nick’s a good driver, if a little aggressive at times, but he’s hardly been trained in evasive maneuvering or whatever. In my mind, I see us plowing into every car we zip past, but somehow Nick avoids them.

  However the sedan is close behind us. They’re not exactly being sneaky about it. I wonder if they’re deliberately trying to scare us. Or even attempting to catch up enough to run us off the road. My palms grow clammy as images of twisted metal spring up in my mind. I try to gulp but the tension in my throat is too great so I hold on and hope for the best.

  When we nearly crash into the bumper of another car, I close my eyes briefly. Nick swears and presses his horn but no crunching of metal comes and we’re still in one piece. Abruptly, he slips in between two vehicles and takes us off the freeway. As we go down the off ramp, I keep an eye on the cars behind us but don’t see the blue sedan.

  “I think…” My voice comes out strained and high-pitched. “I think we’ve lost them.”

  Nick nods but doesn’t look at me. He still drives like a madman and we both keep checking in the mirrors. Only when we’re back in the outskirts of the city, and a few blocks from my place, does he seem to relax.

  “I think we’re okay,” I say, trying to reassure myself more than anything.

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  “What could they have wanted? They weren’t trying to be very stealthy.” I’m no expert on car chases but I thought the idea of following someone was to not be seen.

  “I guess they were hoping to intimidate you. Get you to give up the drugs.”

  “Well, they did a good job of it.”

  I glance down at my hands and realize they’re shaking. God, this was meant to be over. Nick reaches over and wraps one warm hand around both them of them when I clasp them together. His touch is an instant comfort and my thudding heart begins to slow.

  “Don’t worry, Sienna. Nothing will happen to you. Hopefully they’ll realize you haven’t got the drugs after they put that news piece out and leave you alone. There isn’t anything for them to gain in coming after you then.”

  I nod and concentrate on breathing slowly. He’s right. That’s what I was telling myself after all, wasn’t it? Just got to lay low and wait for it to blow over.

  Nick pulls up in front of my red brick building and turns off the engine. His hand remains over mine, one rough thumb smoothing across my skin and suddenly I feel all hot and breathless again. When I glance up at him, I can see he’s having similar thoughts. The warm blue shade of his eyes has darkened as his pupils have dilated.

  And then his brows knit, and he draws back and climbs out. He opens my car door, all business-like and I sigh at a moment lost. I really wouldn’t have minded him kissing me pretty thoroughly just then. But he’s still worried, no matter how glib he’s trying to be.

  I allow myself a tiny smile as we head into the building. I’m definitely going to have to think of a way to get rid of that scowl. And I know the best way of going about it…

  ***

  Nick

  So I’ve extracted a promise from Detective Matthews that he’s going to do his best to protect Sienna. An announcement is going out tomorrow about the find. Hopefully this ‘Big Johnson’ will see it and realize she’s no longer got access to the drugs.

  And leave her be.

  I’m not holding out much hope. Actually I’m fucking terrified. I’m proud of her, of course I am. Who wouldn’t be? She’s sticking her neck on the line to do the right thing, but part of me wishes she’d just accepted my offer to find these guys and hand all the stuff over.

  It’s selfish but Sienna is my priority. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her. I rub a hand over my jaw and grimace when my fingers rasp over stubble. I feel wrecked. Unease is eating at my gut. I can hear Sienna singing in the kitchen as she prepares dinner. She’s relieved. She thinks it’s all over.

  I think we’re just getting started.

  She saunters in from the kitchen and stops in front of me. A little flesh is visible above the waistband of her denim shorts, right in my line of sight and my mouth dries.

  “Dinner will be about an hour,” she declares, moving closer. She threads her fingers into my hair and urges me to look at her. “What’s going on, Nick? Why do you look so grim?”

  I try to smile but fail miserably. I really don’t want her knowing how shit-scared I am for her. When I don’t respond, she flattens my head against her stomach. I grip her hips and hold her close. She smells like pasta sauce and flowers. It’s a pretty heavenly combination actually.

  I nuzzle her skin, inch up her T-shirt and kiss her exposed flesh. Sienna draws in a startled breath and I hold her tighter. I don’t want to lose her. Those words keep pounding through my head. Can’t lose her, can’t lose her. I’ve waited so damned long for her, I can’t let anyone harm her.

  Her fingers continue their journey through my hair, massaging my scalp. It’s soothing and slightly erotic. She doesn’t realize that just touching me turns me on. I continue to kiss across her stomach, this time using my hands to shove up her tank top and gain better access to her skin. I lick and suck at the slight rise of one hip sticking over her jean shorts.

  When her hands leave my hair, I peer up. Sienna smiles down at me. A soft, teasing smile that has my heart flipping in my chest. With slow, deliberate movements, she begins to peel up her top, taunting me with an increasing expanse of smooth skin. I think I groan aloud as I hold onto the belt loops of her shorts for support.

  She whips the top over her head, sending auburn hair spilling over her bare shoulders. My fingers tingle with the desire to reach up and tear her bra from her but I feel kinda weak right now. And she’s instigating this. No way am I interrupting whatever she’s got planned.

  Reaching behind her, she unhooks her bra quickly and slips down one strap, then the other, supporting the black lacey cups in one hand. I think my mouth is open. My tongue feels like sandpaper now. Then she releases them and I definitely groan aloud. Blood pounds in my ears and I eye those gorgeous swells, her nipples hard and ready for my touch.

  Using the leverage I have on her shorts, I tug her down, just enough so her nipples reach my mouth. She breathes my name as I take one of those hot peaks into my mouth and tug it with my teeth. Sucking on it, I savor her small sounds of appreciation, enjoy how aroused she is. I turn my attention to the other one and slide my hands down to cup her ass.

  Sienna straightens, laughing as I make a noise of disappointment when those amazing breasts move away from my mouth. But she rewards me with another sassy grin and puts her hands to her shorts. Snap. She pops them open. Rasp. Christ, she slides the zipper down and reveals matching black panties. The lace is so thin I can see everything underneath it. And all I see is skin. Skin, skin, skin.

  I dart my gaze up in surprise and she offers me an embarrassed shrug.

&n
bsp; “I thought you might like it…”

  I nod. Oh yeah. I like it. Her smooth, bare pussy. Oh God, do I like it. But I like Sienna however she is. I try to think of some way of saying so but my tongue trips over the words and something incoherent comes out. She just laughs and draws off her shorts and underwear in one go. When she flings them aside, they wind up hanging from her bookshelf, making her grin expand.

  I can’t laugh or grin though. While she seems so free, so light, my heart is heavy. Heavy with fear and heavy with lust. The ache in my crotch is unbelievable. She’s standing there, the afternoon sun licking through the curtains and onto her skin, completely bare and naked for me. Exposed in every way.

  For me.

  I feel like I’ve been handed the best gift in the world and don’t quite know what to do with it. I’ve spent so long coaxing and cajoling and seducing. Now I’m the one who’s being seduced and I’m stumped.

  Even though I’m still dressed, she straddles me, silver eyes glinting with amusement. I’m thinking she likes the change in power.

  “Fuck, Sienna. What did I ever do to deserve you?”

  “Funny, I’ve been asking myself that same question.” She lowers her mouth to mine and I caress her back. That warm, feminine body flattens against me and makes me shudder. Hard nipples press through my T-shirt, the heat like a scalding shower on a freezing morning. Soothing and shocking at the same time.

  Kissing me tenderly, she rocks into my erection as it strains in protest against my fly. There’s something insanely hot about being fully dressed and having a totally naked woman writhing around on top of you. Fingers pressing into her ass, I move with her and try to ease some of the tension. I explore her mouth gratefully and push my fingers through her hair. She’s got it loose and, God, do I love the feel of it. I use it to hold her in place so I can kiss her deeply until we’re both panting. I swear, I am going to bring her so much pleasure… Just the thought of her squirming and begging for my touch is enough to make me explode in my pants. By some miracle, I keep control of myself.

  I’m not quite sure how it happened but she’s somehow managed to wriggle a hand between us and is unbuttoning my fly. I hiss when she connects with my cock through my briefs, the touch pretty damn close to electrifying. Christ, this woman makes me lose my mind.