By Mistake

by Sigal Ehrlich

  I search for the wine, my face and whole body warming with the intense beat of my heart. Finding my empty glass, I grab Liam’s and take a rich mouthful. Liam’s eyes wrinkle with humor as he watches my mildly erratic behavior, waiting for me to verbally react. I need to clear my throat and consider my words, mainly shake myself out of the surprise he threw me into before I respond. Talk about an onslaught of unexpected confessions.

  “You know,” I say. “Back then when you were so adamant to convince me how we’d never work, if you had just listened I would have told you just knowing that you’re mine and that you’re out there fulfilling yourself, doing something you love and that eventually, you’d come back to me, even if just to sleep next to me, would have been enough. I never expected you to be someone you’re not, nor did I expect you to be there all the time, or compromise anything for me.”

  I fiddle a little with the napkin resting on my lap. “There’s nothing I want more than for us to work,” I begin and his lips tip at the side. “I want to enter this relationship with the thought of happily ever after with a hope for it . . . but I feel, based on our recent history, maybe you’re entering it with a different state of mind, maybe with a happily right now till you push me away again.” I lift my eyes to his.

  He shakes his head. “I want what you want too,” he says. “I do. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I promise you I wouldn’t be here saying this to you if I weren’t a hundred percent sure.”

  “You know, I left my ego out of it. All along,” I say with a sad little smile, worrying my lips as we trade intense stares. My voice comes out a little shaky when I whisper, “You hurt me.” Finally letting out the heavy feeling that’s been weighing on me since The Night.

  His features mare with concern as he hurries out of his chair to crouch by my side. He frames my face with both hands. “I’m so sorry. I really am.”

  I nod, begging for the moisture veiling my eyes not to form into tears.

  “Anna, look at me,” Liam asks softly. Getting my full attention, his eyes train on mine. “I love you.”

  My lips part as my insides melt. I am about to respond when he brings two fingers to cover my lips. “Don’t say anything. I don’t expect you to respond, just let it sink in, ok?” he asks.

  Ever so slowly he slides his fingers away only to be replaced with his lips that encounter mine in the softest of touches. Easing back, he gently kisses my cheek, then my forehead, and stands. I follow his moves with my eyes as he takes back his seat; my mind is a little scrambled, my heart, on the other hand, euphoric. Did that just happen? Did Liam just say he . . . loves me?

  An alert sound coming from Liam’s phone reminders me that he’s never really off duty. A little reminder that this is his life, every moment, beautiful and precious as it is can abruptly end with one little call. Hesitant, I watch him. I’d hate for the evening to end right now. However, if he needs to leave, I’ll never hold it against him. He mumbles an excuse before checking his phone. His lips tip just before he glances up for a stolen peek to another part of the restaurant. Whatever he sees there makes his smile grow.

  I turn my head trying to see what made him smile. “Everything alright?”

  Liam sends me a contagious grin; I can’t help but mirror him. “Why are you being weird?” I ask. You just freaking told you love me and left it as is. Oh, and let us not forget the moving in part which I need you to decipher for me, because – madness! Now you’re smiling at God knows what. Seriously, what is happening.

  “How am I being weird?” Is delivered over a chuckle.

  “Hi.”

  I’m startled by the unexpected low voice at my side. I jerk my head to follow the voice. My eyes climb higher and higher. By my chair, towering over me is a handsome guy. I frown, noticing him smiling at me. Given I seem to be his sole focus, I feel compelled to ask, “Umm hi, do I know you?”

  For a brief moment, the guy throws Liam one of those “respect, dude,” sort of appreciative nods before turning back to me again. Disregarding my question, the guy says, “Say yes.”

  My brows pinch tighter. “Excuse me?”

  He slaps Liam’s shoulder harder than a customary friendly pat. Liam throws his hands to the sides in a, “Really, dude?” sort of gesture. The guy smirks at Liam and returns to me.

  What the heck is going on?

  “Anna,” the guy says. “This guy,” he slaps Liam again, seeming to take great pleasure in doing so. “This guy is gone for you, and he’s the best guy I’ve ever known. I suggest you say yes to whatever he asks.”

  Okay, seriously, what the hell is happening right now? A tad irritated and a greater part baffled, I repeat my question. “Do I know you?”

  Handsome Tall Guy extends his hand for a shake. When I hesitantly reciprocate, he says, “Delighted to make your acquaintance, Anna. I’m Little Shit.”

  Now That I Saved Your Life, Let’s Get Naked, Shall We?

  “So, Pen Pal, top you off?” Benjamin asks Anna, calling her by the nickname he gave her half a bottle of wine ago, the bottle in his hand that’s tilted toward her glass.

  Anna covers the glass with her hand, shaking her head with a smile. “No, thanks. I’m good.”

  Catching Benjamin’s eyes, I make a whole show of looking at my watch, hoping that Sir Chatty gets the hint and splits. He’s been hanging with us for a couple of glasses too many. Don’t get me wrong, he’s one of my closest people. But as much as I like the guy right now I want him gone, the little shit that he is.

  While I was away in Leer, Benjamin finally replied to my email. The E-mail. The one which, by some unbelievable coincidence, landed in Anna’s inbox. After realizing it missed its destination, I sent it to the correct email address. Long story short, we spoke on the phone earlier today and I told him all about Anna. When he mentioned he was in the area, visiting with the Flamingo, aka his girlfriend, I told him to pop by the restaurant I was taking Anna to and maybe wax lyrical about me. Give Anna a character reference in person. I know, lame-ish, but with less than a few hours to prepare, Little Shit was the only rabbit I was able to pull out of the hat. Right now however, I need said rabbit to go back to his hole.

  Smiling, Benjamin catches my stare that clearly tells him that his job is done. He puts the bottle of wine back on the table with a grin. “Okay, Pen Pal,” he tells Anna. “I think Liam here wants me gone.” He pats my chest, chuckles and stands up. He takes Anna’s hand, and kisses it. “So long.”

  Anna laughs and says, “Night.”

  I can’t hide how pleased I am that she didn’t insist he stayed. And then, like I needed any more distractions tonight, our waiter comes to politely ask if we need anything else since they’re about to close the kitchen.

  I look at Anna in question, she shakes her head and I ask for the bill. When Anna takes out her purse, I give her a look that makes her put it right back. Not long after I sign the bill, the lights are dimmed and chairs are being put up on tables. “I guess that’s our cue,” I tell Anna. I offer her my hand, she doesn’t take it, just smiles and leads the way out of the restaurant.

  As we step outside, Anna reaches for her phone.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Getting an Uber,” she says, opening up the app on her phone.

  Everything inside me is screaming NO. This isn’t how I wanted things to go. Without even thinking I swipe the phone from Anna’s hand. “We can’t end the evening like this.”

  Anna’s stare bounces from the phone in my hand to me.

  “Come home with me,” I say.

  Anna raises an eyebrow and cocks her head; a smile starts playing at her lips.

  “Mind out of the gutter,” I say, and add, “Not that I’d, God forbid, ever object if you’d only ask. I just—I’m not ready to let you go. We still have a lot to talk about. And I want to spend more time with you.”

  Anna bites on her lip and says, “I know the feeling – I wasn’t ready to let you go back then either, yet . . . ”
<
br />   I drop my head and try again. “Look, I can’t blame you. I know I hurt you and as I said, I am so very sorry. If I could take it back I would, in a heartbeat, believe me. But please Anna, stay with me tonight. Just . . . no expectations – just . . . be with me.”

  She considers my words and softly says, “Okay.”

  Unable to resist myself, not with her looking so damn sweet, I send a tentative hand to her cheek. I lean closer, wordlessly asking for permission which she grants with parted lips and hooded eyes. My heart is beating double-time as I press my lips to hers. When she opens for me and I finally taste her, the sensation runs along my skin, powdering my gut with immeasurable feelings of affection.

  Christ, how I missed her.

  Finally physically connecting, we reach for each other with urgency, our tongues dancing along one another, our hands finding their places, hers on my waist, mine framing her face. I send my fingers to comb through her hair, tilting her head gently, pulling her closer into our kiss. For a few long passionate moments, we’re lost in our reconnection.

  We’re pulled out of our bubble by a horn of a passing-by car, followed by some idiots honking and yelling, “Get a room!”

  We laugh in unison, holding hands. “Let’s go home,” I say. Anna nods keenly, making me want to grab her again and kiss the hell out of her.

  “I missed you,” I say to Anna’s lips which I suppose are a little raw by now, just like mine. We made it exactly one step into my new home before accosting each other.

  “I missed you too,” she says and it’s enough for me to swipe her off into another heavy kissing session. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’ve been going at it, here at the threshold to my home, for the greater part of an hour. Just kissing, just holding one another. Just what I want. Okay, yeah, I want much more than that. I want her in my bed, desperately, but I’m not going to be the one leading us there. There are still things to be said, and I want her to take me seriously. I want her to know that this is not just a cheap ploy to get her into bed. I want her here and I want her to stay, indefinitely. I want her to know, to believe, that I meant what I said. That I’m a hundred percent in this time.

  What the hell was I thinking, cutting her out of my life? One of, if not my most terrible decisions ever.

  Sensing Anna fidget a little through our kissing, I ease back a little. “All good?”

  She gives me a cheeky-sheepish mix of a smile. “I really need to pee.”

  I chuckle lightly. “Love it when you talk dirty to me.”

  She pushes my shoulder with a little eye roll and leaves me en route to the hall. Not a step in, she turns back in surprise. “Wait a minute, this is the –” she says startled. “I didn’t even notice this is your new place.”

  I grin at her. “All that wine you cozily guzzled down with your new best friend, Little Shit. And let’s be honest, you were too occupied dry humping me to notice anything.”

  She rolls her eyes again and does a shit job of hiding her smile. “When did you even manage to move your stuff in?”

  “Stuff,” I look around at the barren space. “That’s a bit of a stretch.” Then, “I didn’t. I hired a moving service while I was away and Casey helped. She made sure everything was taken care of.”

  Anna gives the half-empty space a cursory glance. The place is rather bare, but a sofa, a TV, a bed, and only a few essential, towels, dishes, and crap.

  “I need to stock up, get it furnished.” My lips tip at the side. “We need to get it furnished.”

  Anna shakes her head in a “you’re relentless and ridiculous” sort of way, and points at the hall, tilting her head in question.

  “Second door to the right,” I say and watch her till she disappears behind the closed bathroom door. I take the opportunity to quickly change into my well-worn UWSON tee. I toss the shirt I just took off on the bed and leave the bedroom. From the sound of it, Anna is in the kitchen now. As I make my way in said direction, I can hear the fridge close and then a couple of cupboards open and close, and then something shattering followed by a shriek that makes me sprint the distance between us.

  Blood is not something I get bothered by, well, not since that one time when I fainted in the O.R. in my early days as a youngling resident, but the sight of Anna’s bloody arm makes my breath catch. Assessing the damage is second nature.

  Paler than the wall, Anna looks at me terrified, holding her excessively bleeding hand with the other. “We need to go to the hospital.”

  I cock my head holding myself from letting, “Really? And do what, have a doctor look at it?” to slip out of my lips. “Let me have a look,” I calmly say instead. “What happened?” I take Anna’s hand in mine and slowly direct her to the sink as she tells me that one of the glasses fell and she cut herself picking up the shards. With a gentle stream, I clean the wound for better visibility. I feign concern and tell Anna in a grave voice, “We’ll have to amputate.”

  She gasps in response, looking even more freaked out.

  I chuckle. “You don’t even need stitches.” I kiss her forehead. “Keep your hand elevated, I’m going to fetch the first aid kit. Be right back.” Just because she looks so damn irresistibly cute standing before me thinking these are her last breaths, I give her another kiss and go get the kit.

  Anna is quiet when I return and remains silent as I clean the wound with antibacterial liquid soap, pat it dry, and rub some antibiotic ointment on it. The cut isn’t big but it’s deep enough to bandage. Anna watches me attentively as I secure the bandage with a clamp. “I believe you’ll make it through,” I say and wink at her.

  Anna grins at me, “Thank you for saving my life, Doctor Brody.”

  I inch closer to her, placing my leg between hers, and dip in for a kiss. “Now that I nursed you back to life, you’re beholden to me.”

  She laughs in dismissal.

  “Now, can we continue our conversation from earlier?” I ask, shifting gears.

  “Which one?” she asks, her eyes zeroed in on my lips.

  I press mine to hers, sending my hands to her waist. “The one where you were about to agree to move in with me.”

  She jerks back, frowning. “You were serious?”

  “Very much so.”

  Anna cocks her head, gauging me. “Okay, this is not a conversation to be had in a ready-set-jump each other’s bones position,” she says and I briefly laugh in response.

  “You have a point.” I take her hand in mine and lead us to the living room. I wait for Anna to sit and take a seat next to her, leaving an appropriate “serious conversation” gap between us.

  “So,” Anna raises a brow. “This insanity you’re suggesting—” She lets it hang between us.

  I grin at her, the little smart ass sitting here beside me, carelessly sexy in a natural, unconscious way. “You once told me you wanted me with no inhibition. Remember? Doing what I really want to do. You said it would be perfect.”

  She slowly moves her lips from side to side, giving it a thought. “That’s a full 180, give a girl a second to think.” My lips quirk. She squints at me, “Are you really being serious?”

  “Absolutely,” I nod.

  Anna deflates back onto the sofa, looking at me. “Oh, wow. That’s a lot. I need to process this and you, and a whole lot of things. Can I get back to you on this?” She then frowns and adds, “Where? Yours? I mean it’s close to the hospital and big, and nice, and the yard. The yard is . . . I’m guessing, it has great potential.”

  Grinning silently, I watch her having a whole conversation with herself.

  “Mine?” she goes on. “Mine is walking distance from the studio and let’s face it, the most amazing place.”

  My grin grows.

  “But it’s perfect for one and, well, poky for two.” She frowns to herself. “Wait a minute, maybe we could do a 50/50 thing, some days here some days mine?”

  “Your thought process is phenomenal,” I murmur under my breath, utterly amused. Damn lucky bastard that I am, she�
�s really considering it.

  She perks up suddenly. “Wait a minute, why are we sitting here talking logistics when I haven’t said yes or no to this bananas thing?”

  I throw my head back laughing, then train my eyes on her, grinning.

  Anna frowns again. “Why are you grinning like a—”

  “Just enjoying your little monologue,” I say, still entirely amused and to a greater part charmed. She’s everything.

  Anna turns to me fully. “Why can’t we just date like normal people?”

  I mimic her position, and say, “Because we’re way past that, don’t you think? And with our schedules, especially mine, we won’t be able to see each other much and really date. And I want to see you. As much as I can.”

  Anna does this little considering head shake dance. “I can’t say that it doesn’t completely make sense.”

  “Humor me,” I take her hand in mine. “Let’s give it a try.” I tilt my head, running my eyes between hers. “Maybe, as you said, it’s going to be . . . perfect.”

  Playing with my fingers, she mimics my coked head. “Can I sleep on it?”

  I nod. “As long as it’s in my bed.”

  “So cheesy!” Anna pushes my chest, shaking her head.

  I grab her hand and pull her to me as I drop us back onto the sofa. With a yelp, Anna lands on top of me. Her baby blues smile at mine as she slowly closes the distance between our mouths. They flutter closed as she touches her lips to mine, and she looks so damn dreamy. She deepens the kiss, urging me to open for her, and boy do I obey. I hold her cheeks and pull her closer, leaving one hand in her hair while the other slowly caresses over her body. Reaching her ass, I press her into me and show her just how much I’m into her. Her moan sends fire to my veins and I let out a growl from deep down in my throat, flipping us over so I’m on top of her. She’s into me and I’m very much here for it. I take control, lifting her arms above her head, holding them with one of mine, and gently pull her shirt up. Below me, Anna is a breathtaking vision with hair spread on the sofa, eyes heavy with desire, cheeks blushed. I’ve never seen anything as beautiful in my life.