She explained what had happened without looking at me once. My stomach turned over at the thought of someone physically hurting her. “That’s fucked up.”
“I know, right?” She threw her arms out to her sides. “The cop basically told me that I could get a restraining order, but to wait until, and I quote, ‘something actually happens’ before contacting them again.”
“Fuck.” That was ridiculous. The legal system had to be fucked if it was okay to threaten, follow and wait out an ex who’s told you that they wanted nothing to do with you. “You really have to wait until he hurts you for them to act?”
She nodded. “Seems so.”
Wow. Now that’s a shitty situation.
I got up off the bed, not blind to the fact that I was now also pacing the room. There were a few toys lying next to a backpack on the floor and clothes hanging off the chair, but nothing that kept me from moving around as I thought.
With the bed still unmade and the smell of Lilac’s perfume and shampoo still hanging faintly in the air, the room felt more lived-in than any other in the condo ever had. Surprisingly, I liked it.
An idea popped into my head.
As soon as it did, I nearly burst out laughing.
Ridiculous.
And yet, it refused to leave when I tried to banish it. I didn’t think it was a good idea or anything, but at least it was an idea. Running it by her could make things awkward between us, but since not even accidentally fucking while drunk seemed to have done that, I figured we could survive this too.
“Would he leave you alone if you had a strong, retired military boyfriend?”
Fuck. Just asking that question out loud made the idea seem, if possible, even more fucking ridiculous.
Lilac just stared at me, then rolled her eyes. “Maybe, but where would I even find one of those? It’s not like there’s a Boyfriends-R-Us around the corner, and I don’t know when the last time was you tried to enter the dating pool, but it’s not a pool out there anymore. It’s a pond. A pond filled with frogs who don’t turn into princes and toads who make a lot of noise but aren’t good for anything else.”
I snorted, chuckling under my breath before raising my hand and jabbing a thumb at my chest. God, I think I really am going crazy, but... “I’m strong, retired military and available to scare off your ex if you think it would work.”
Once again, she just stared at me. I understood the incredulity suddenly shining from those blue eyes, though. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” I shrugged, then sat back down on the bed and leaned back on my palms. “I know it sounds crazy, but just give it some thought.”
Coming to sit down next to me, Lilac searched my eyes before she lifted her shoulders and nodded. “He’s not, or well, he wasn’t a big guy. He’s not particularly strong either. He just likes to think he is. Maybe he would leave me alone if he saw me with you.”
“Well, that’s it then.” I nodded and tried my best not to notice how good she smelled. She sat so close to my side that it was impossible not to catch a whiff of her sweet scent coupled with the spicy body wash I used. I supposed she must have used the bottle I’d put in the shower in the guest room just after I’d moved in.
It was totally different smelling it on her, though I’d be fucked if it didn’t draw me to her anyway. It made her smell like she was mine, like she used my stuff every day. And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve officially fucking lost it.
“That’s what?” Lilac asked, a slight crease between her eyebrows and confusion darkening even the lightest shade of blue in her eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m going to be your strong, retired military boyfriend. One who’s serious enough with you and about you that you two are moving in with me.”
She gaped at me now, blinking rapidly. “Did you just tell me that Lincoln and I are moving in with you? Here?”
“Yes.” I nodded swiftly, mind made up. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it fucking properly. I’m not going to show up at your house to take you out at random times hoping he’ll see me and get intimidated enough to leave you alone.”
“You want us living with you?” She put a hand on my shoulder, concern in her eyes. “That’s really nice of you to offer, Joseph, but it’s a lot. You’re my boss, not my caregiver. You really don’t have to do this.”
“I know,” I said. “When you’re ready, we’ll go back to your place and grab whatever you might need for a week or two.”
“Are you sure?” She squeezed the hand that was still on my shoulder. “Like, sure sure?”
Nope. I’m not sure. In fact, I’m pretty sure all those hits to the head are finally starting to show their effects. But I didn’t say it.
Instead, I just nodded. Guess I’m getting a live-in girlfriend and a kid as of today. Talk about a crazy fucking turn of events.
Chapter 22
Lilac
Waking up with Lincoln’s elbow in my chest, I remembered why I didn’t let him sleep in my bed. The boy slept like a starfish on a mission to rotate as many times as he could before he had to wake up.
Then again, he’d slept with me because he didn’t have his own bed in Joseph’s guest room. Not yet, anyway.
Lying there next to Lincoln, watching him sleep with a soft smile on his lips, I tried to contain the freak-out I felt coming by matching my breathing to his. Every time his chest rose or fell, I tried to make mine do the same thing.
Yesterday had been crazy. Absolutely, manically insane. Not just the nutso idea that Joseph had pitched in this very bedroom, but that after he’d come up with it, he’d just put it in motion.
After that conversation where he’d pitched his idea to me, he’d driven us to my apartment. On the way there, he insisted that I call Alisha to tell her what was going on. He made a good argument about why I should call and tell her, saying that she had to know to be on the lookout for Kurt.
I told myself that it was that argument that made me do it instead of this stupid compulsion to do whatever he ordered me to do. It was like there was this whole other side to him when he went into control mode. As much as I hated it, I was also kind of turned on by it. So there...
Sighing as I replayed the events of the crazy day in my head, I remembered how he had taken charge when we had arrived at the apartment. He’d thrown the bolt on the door and kept vigilant, narrowing his eyes and checking on every little noise he heard.
Eventually, though, we’d managed to pack clothes, toys, toiletries, and a few other odds and ends that we needed to feel comfortable. With our bags packed, we’d hurried back to his car, made a quick stop for a car seat, and then Joseph had driven us straight back to his condo.
All the way, he’d checked to make sure we weren’t being followed. It was weird, but it also felt weirdly good to feel so... protected. It had been a long damn time since I’d been able to count on anybody but myself to keep me safe, but I knew Joseph could and would do it now. For however long we ended up being here.
When we’d arrived back at the condo, he’d helped me unpack and basically moved us in with him. For an indeterminate amount of time. He’d even offered to buy Lincoln a bed, for heaven’s sake.
I’d refused, of course. I had that bonus money and while I’d been planning on saving as much as I could to buy a house once I’d paid off my debt, I’d told him I’d put everything off with what was going on and buy the bed for Lincoln myself.
He’d done that laugh thing again, and then he’d told me that it wouldn’t be the only bonus I’d ever get from him. I bit my tongue, wanting to point out that he’d also already given me a mind-blowing orgasm which had been a pretty nice perk as a bonus, but things weren’t awkward between us and I didn’t want them to become that way.
So now here I was, living with my boss. Who I’d had sex with. What the hell happened to my life?
Because this wasn’t it. My life didn’t have billionaire bosses with secret, good hearts who wanted to pretend to be
my boyfriend. There was no action involving psycho exes, cops, and VA connections.
I lived in my tiny apartment with my son. The most exciting things got for me was when Alisha and I managed to fit in another movie between Lincoln’s bedtime and our own, maybe even one where they used bad words or that featured the occasional sex scene.
Not a sex scene featuring me in the back of a limo, either. Just a movie that might or might not have some stuff in it that only adults were allowed to do. That was my life, not this.
Sitting up in bed, I carefully moved so as not to wake Lincoln. Once I was off the bed, I walked into the bathroom and for the second morning in a row, asked the girl in the mirror who the hell she was. How did you become this person?
The truth was that I didn’t know. Although I had been there every step of the way, it all just seemed so farfetched that I couldn’t quite believe it was real.
At least I looked a little better this morning than I had yesterday. I actually had on my own pajamas now, had brushed my teeth and my hair before bed and had even washed my face.
It was also a relief to see my own toiletries in the shower, the colorful variety of bottles a stark contrast to the two original beige bottles standing to the back of the shelf. I had to admit though, it was kind of nice to see his stuff mixed in with mine.
Okay. Right. The cuckoo train has left the station, apparently, and I’m definitely aboard. Shaking my head at myself, I turned the water on and after tossing my pajamas into the hamper he’d had sent in for me from somewhere, grabbed a quick shower.
Joseph was in the kitchen again by the time I got there, but unfortunately, none of his muscles or tattoos were on display. He was dressed the way he usually was at the office, in one of his tailored suits.
Suppressing a sound of disappointment, I realized how much I had liked seeing him dressed casually. He’d seemed so much more approachable without the corporate armor.
Turning around when he heard my heels clacking into the kitchen, he smiled and jerked his head at the coffee maker. “Excellent timing. It’s fresh.”
“You are too good to me,” I said before I could think about it, then decided not to take it back because it was true. He’d even set out a mug for me and left it next to the machine. Again. “What do you feel like for breakfast? I’ll cook.”
“There’s some fruit, yogurt, and granola that Ollie brought over. I also noticed he got ready-made pancakes.” His mouth twisted slightly at the last word, almost like he was disgusted to have pancakes in his house.
“Excuse me, am I to believe that you don’t like pancakes?” I lifted my brow at him as I filled my cup, then leaned with my hip against the counter near the fridge. “I’m pretty sure not liking pancakes is a treasonous offense.”
He scoffed, taking a sip of his coffee before he set the tablet he’d been holding since I walked in down. A quick glance at the screen before it went off told me he’d been reading the news.
“I have no problem with pancakes occasionally, but I don’t see why it’s necessary to have them in your house.”
“Pancakes?” Lincoln’s voice came from right outside the kitchen. I looked up, spotting my sleepy little man smiling as he walked in. “Are we having pancakes for breakfast?”
I shot Joseph a look. “Yeah, I guess we are.”
He rolled his eyes, but nodded and helped me to get breakfast ready by setting three simple places right there on the island. I liked it that our meals around here were a casual affair, no sitting quietly at his massive dining room table with no one having anything to say.
“We’re having pancakes,” Joseph said to Lincoln, watching as I pulled containers of fruit and yogurt out of the fridge. “But we’re also having some fruit.”
Lincoln turned his puppy dog eyes on me. “Do I have to have any fruit? Fruit is for birds to eat.”
“You love fruit,” I argued, holding up a pint of strawberries. “Don’t these look delicious?”
He rocked his head from side to side. “Not more delicious than pancakes.”
“Fruit is really good for you,” Joseph said, taking a seat on the stool next to Lincoln when he’d finished setting out everything we needed. “I eat lots of fruit. Do I look like a bird to you?”
Lincoln’s eyes became huge blue pools as he shook his head. “No, you look like a soldier on a cartoon.”
“On a cartoon, huh?” Joseph mused, but at least he was smiling. “Seems like I’m losing my edge.”
“You want to grow up to be big and strong like Joseph is?” I interjected, knowing exactly what Lincoln wanted to hear. Predictably, he nodded. “Then you have to eat your fruit.”
“And your vegetables, whole grains and the right amount of the rights kinds of proteins.” Joseph’s expression was serious until he saw the looks both Lincoln and I were giving him. “What? A good diet is really important if you want to grow up to be big and strong.”
While Joseph was speaking, I chopped some of the fruit and put it in a bowl, then gave the bowl to Lincoln. He took it without objection and proceeded to finish every last morsel of food in it.
Joseph grinned when Lincoln pushed the empty bowl away, having polished off a giant serving of fruit himself. The pancakes sat untouched in the center of the table.
Waste not, want not.
I snagged one, tearing one fluffy bite off with my teeth and shrugging when Lincoln gave me a questioning look. “I’m already big, and I’m plenty strong. I can have pancakes.”
Joseph laughed, standing up and then holding out a hand to help Lincoln hop off the stool. “Don’t worry, buddy. We’ll get Mommy to join us on the light side soon enough.”
I snorted, rounding the table and pausing when I got to the door. “Not likely if you don’t have pancakes on your side. I’m going to go get ready. Will you two be okay for a couple of minutes?”
Joseph nodded. “We’re fine. Go ahead. We’ll leave when you’re done.”
He led Lincoln to the couch and put on another loud cartoon. To my surprise, he only left Lincoln for a couple of seconds to grab a tie from his room, then I heard them talking again. I’d seen him carrying the tie while I was putting on makeup, so I was surprised when I walked out and it wasn’t on yet.
Well, it was, just not tied in the impeccable knot he usually wore it in. Instead, it was hanging half loose with a disjointed knot-lookalike thing over his chest. Lincoln smiled when I stopped in front of the couch.
“Joseph was showing me how to make a tie.”
Eyes widening, I felt a strange warmth spreading from my heart. “That’s great, baby. I think you need some more practice, though.”
“We’ll have enough time to practice.” Joseph shrugged as he got up, using his fingers to undo Lincoln’s mess and tying the usual impeccable knot without even looking in a mirror. “Are you ready?”
“Just give us a minute for Lincoln to brush his teeth and put on some clothes. We’ll be right back.” I half-expected Joseph to be annoyed that we weren’t ready to leave, but if he was, he didn’t say anything about it.
He simply nodded and went into his home office as I led Lincoln back to our bedroom. Once he was ready, we met Joseph at the door. “Shall we?”
“Yes, sorry. We couldn’t find his inhaler.”
Joseph frowned. “Did you find it?”
“Yes, it was in my backpack.” Lincoln patted the backpack in question. “Mommy has one, too. But I need mine.”
“Of course.” Joseph didn’t ask any questions, but I supposed Lincoln needing an inhaler spoke for itself.
It hit me as I grabbed my work satchel on the way out how domestic all of this was. I tried not to show it outwardly, but it was really staggering.
Joseph drove us to the office, chatting up a storm with Lincoln all the way there. The two of them were getting on really well, and the extension of the morning’s domesticity to the car only made the reality of it hit me harder.
I really was living with my boss, who I’d had sex with but who w
as also helping me and if that wasn’t enough, was great with my little boy. Jeez.
Neither of them noticed that I was quiet all the way to the office. Joseph even ended up walking us to the daycare and while I was saying goodbye to Lincoln, went to call the elevator again and was waiting in it after I grabbed my kiss from my son.
“Thank you,” I said to him as the doors slid shut. “You really helped him to feel at home this morning.”
“It was really no problem.” He stared ahead, but I didn’t miss the way the corners of his mouth twitched. “Have a good day.”
“Yeah, you too,” I said as the doors opened on our floor.
Ollie nodded at Joseph when we approached, but gave me a huge grin. I rolled my eyes and walked right past him, more than ready to lose myself in my work.
Chapter 23
Joseph
Sitting at my desk with my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides, I did everything in my power not to look to my left through the glass and into Lilac’s office. It would be so easy to slide my eyes over there. Again.
I knew I shouldn’t do it. I shouldn’t have been staring at her and I definitely shouldn’t have been spending most of my morning doing it, but it was damn hard not to do it. She was right there, so close that if it hadn’t been for that infernal piece of glass separating our offices, I would have been able to smell the scent of her perfume.
I might have been becoming mildly obsessed with the way she smelled, the way she pulled her hair back into a messy bun on top of her head when she thought no one was watching her work. To be fair, no one should have been watching her work—which was why I was trying so damn hard to stop. Fucking. Doing. It.
It was difficult to believe that she’d been working right there for weeks and I’d never had this problem before. This morning had done something to me, knocked loose something in my heart that I hadn’t even known was there.
That scene in my kitchen and everything that had followed it had just been so… domestic. It’d reminded me of growing up with my parents before they’d died and I’d signed up for the Air Force. I’d never realized how much I’d missed it until this morning; never realized how much I wanted it again until I had it.
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