Of course, just because I’d experienced it again didn’t mean I had it per se. Not really. It was more like I was… borrowing it for a short time. Lilac wasn’t mine and neither was Lincoln, despite how it had felt this morning—even if we were going to play-act to push that asshole Kurt away from her.
Shaking my head at my thoughts and at my eyes that were having a seriously hard time staying off her, I pulled up a file on my computer and threw myself into work.
I was developing a real problem, but thankfully it had a fairly simple solution: stay away from Lilac and her son as much as possible.
It shouldn’t be difficult, even though they were staying with me. My condo wasn’t huge, but my home office and my bedroom had perfectly good doors. It would be a matter of shutting myself in one of those rooms when we were home and ordering in my own meals.
I’d already learned that Lilac preferred cooking to takeout, so all I had to do was to claim not to like the food she made. That way, I wouldn’t even have to spend meal times with them. Problem? No problem.
At lunchtime, Lilac popped into my office and all my noble plans about keeping my distance from them went up in a puff of fucking smoke. “Ollie and I are going to hit the food truck for lunch. We’re going to go grab Lincoln out of daycare, too. Wanna come?”
“Sure.” Fuck. Wrong answer. “Just let me grab my stuff. I’ll meet you at the elevator.”
Then, like the dutiful fucking fake boyfriend I was, I gathered my phone, wallet, and sunglasses and took my girlfriend out to lunch. Well, my pretend girlfriend, my real assistant and her very real son.
He grinned when he saw us walking into the daycare center, jumping up from the little plastic table he was seated at and then launching himself at Lilac. “Mommy! You came to get me.”
“Yeah, buddy. We thought we’d take you out for lunch.”
His blue eyes lit up and he started wiggling out of Lilac’s arms. “Grilled cheese again?”
“Yep.” She jerked her thumb in Ollie’s direction. “You remember Ollie, right? From yesterday?”
Lincoln nodded and stuck his small hand out to Ollie. “Nice to see you again.”
Ollie’s lips curled into a smile that spread from ear to ear. His much larger hand enveloped Lincoln’s, his skin a stark contrast to Lincoln’s pale complexion. “You too, little man. You ready to grab some awesome melted cheese on a stack of carbs?”
“Yes,” he replied enthusiastically, his little head bouncing up and down so fast I was afraid he was going to give himself whiplash.
“Personally,” I said, attempting to distract myself from the fact that I’d just experienced a stab of real concern for a kid I had no business being concerned about, “I don’t see what’s so great about melted cheese and carbs.”
Ollie and Lilac both rolled their eyes at me, but Lincoln came over, took my hand and spent the walk explaining to me why grilled cheese was the best thing ever. His arguments weren’t exactly eloquent and were centered around words like gooey and oozy, but I let it go and let him have it. I was much more focused on the fact that his hand remained in mine all the way to the food truck.
It was remarkable how much I actually liked feeling like I was somehow responsible for him, like it was up to me to protect him from traffic or stray dogs or whatever out here.
“I want that one,” Lincoln practically yelled when the truck came into view, pointing at a picture on the side with his free hand. “Can I have that one?”
“That one has onion on it. Do you want onion?” Lilac’s brows pulled together. “You didn’t like onion the last time I tried putting it in something.”
“Onion is yucky,” Lincoln agreed, tugging me the last few yards to the truck and examining the other pictures carefully.
“How about that one?” Ollie suggested. “The only thing better than cheese is more cheese, and that one has four different kinds.”
“Sounds like a winner to me,” Lilac said. She looked down at Lincoln, her eyes lingering on where his hand was still joined with mine. “What do you think, baby?”
For a second, I thought she was talking to me. My heart did this weird flip at the thought that she’d called me a nickname, and not just any old nickname. Then I remembered that her actual baby was standing right next to me.
Lincoln shrugged and looked at me. “What do you think, Joseph? Should we get that one?”
I’d been planning on going for one of the carb-free options, but just like so many of my plans for today, it went out the window pretty much instantly. “Let’s get that one. It looks really good to me.”
Ollie’s eyes bulged, a soft chuckle escaping him. “Seriously, boss man? I don’t think I’ve seen you eat that amount of cheese in all the time I’ve worked for you, now you want to have it all in one go?”
“Yes, I do.” I squared my shoulders and stepped forward with such purpose that it felt like I was about to do something that could potentially save the world instead of just making one little kid happy.
The guy behind the counter wiped his brow with the back of his hand. “What can I get you?”
“We’d like four of your ‘Say Cheese’ sandwiches, please.” My chest puffed out a bit as I looked down at Lincoln and saw the adoring look on his face. God, this is ridiculous.
I couldn’t help it, though.
“You got it, man. Anything else?” the guy asked, then took our drink orders and asked us to step aside while we waited for our food.
Lincoln was the center of attention all the way through lunch, and it was surprisingly fun to see him bloom from it. The kid was so happy when we got back to my building that it seemed almost criminal to drop him back off at daycare.
There was nothing to be done about it, though. We had to get back to work, and he seemed excited to get back to his friends anyway.
Back in my office, I found it difficult to focus on work once again. This time it wasn’t because I was having a tough time to keep from looking over at Lilac, though I did find my gaze straying to her every so often.
What I didn’t do for a couple of hours that afternoon was daydream about taking Lincoln out to experience the world, to think up ideas to make him as happy as he had been earlier. No, not at all.
I also didn’t waste an hour looking at tickets to Disney and even choosing rides that I’d have liked to take him on. I’d swear to anyone that I didn’t.
I was finally getting back to my real work when I heard a loud yell from Lilac’s office. “Fuck. I’ll be right there.”
She was already on the move when I looked up, running out of her office at full speed. Dread settled in a heavy pit in my stomach and my suit suddenly felt like it was four sizes too small. There was only one thing that would make her react like that, and that was Lincoln.
Pushing to my feet, I chased after her. I found her in the daycare center, kneeling next to Lincoln and a scared looking woman who was barking instructions to the 911 operator. Falling to my knees beside her, my hands started shaking.
“Is there anything I can do?”
She shook her head without looking at me, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. The inhaler she was holding to his mouth didn’t seem to be working. “I don’t know what’s happening. It won’t work. It’s supposed to work.”
The ambulance arrived a couple of minutes later, the EMTs issuing rapid-fire orders to one another as they got Lincoln loaded up. Lilac ran after them, and so did I.
On my way down to the parking garage, I called Ollie to give him a heads-up. “Lincoln’s having a really bad attack. They’re taking him to the hospital now. We’ll both be out for the rest of the day.”
“Fuck.” Ollie let loose a string of curses, not bothering to apologize for them this time. “Good luck, boss. Let me know how he is.”
“I will.” I raced out of the elevator and jumped into my car, throwing it into gear to follow the ambulance to the hospital.
Chapter 24
Lilac
“Three hours in th
e hospital? He’s never had an attack this bad before.” My voice was quiet and low, but even I could hear the strain in it.
Joseph glanced at me and tightened his grip on the steering wheel before returning his eyes to the road. “He’s okay now, but I’ll see about getting some specialized training for the daycare staff. If it happens again, they’ll be more prepared.”
“They did everything they were supposed to.” I sighed, I couldn’t and didn’t blame the staff for the severity of the attack or how quickly it had escalated. “The doctor said we don’t need to adjust his medication just yet, but to keep a close eye on him.”
Surprising me by reaching out and gently laying his hand over mine in my lap, he nodded. “I’ll make sure the daycare staff know. If you need time off to take him to the doctor, you just let Ollie put the appointment on the calendar. You don’t even have to ask.”
Tears jumped to my eyes, but didn’t fall. I turned my hand around under his and wound our fingers together. It felt good to have the support and it had been extremely comforting back at the hospital to know that he was there for us. Holding his hand now felt strangely natural after all we’d been through in the last few days.
“Thank you. I’ll do that.” I shifted in my seat and turned to look at Lincoln sleeping in the backseat. He was so worn out that he had fallen asleep in my arms when I carried him to the car and had been out like a light ever since.
We were almost back to Joseph’s condo and he hadn’t stirred. “He’s just exhausted after all that. I don’t think I’m going to wake him up when we get to your place. I’ll just carry him up and take him straight to the guest room to sleep.”
“I’ll go up ahead of you and make sure that all the doors are unlocked and open. Should we order in something for him to eat when he wakes up later? He’s bound to be starving.”
“I’ll make him something when he wakes up.” I squeezed Joseph’s fingers and smiled. “Thank you for being so considerate.”
“I’m not a total caveman,” he grunted, flipping his turn signal and waiting for the light to change before turning into the parking garage at his condo.
Once we were parked, he didn’t wait for me. While I carefully unbuckled Lincoln and picked him up slowly so as not to wake him, Joseph grabbed Lincoln’s backpack and went upstairs ahead of us.
As he’d promised, by the time I got up there, the front door was unlocked and open. He’d even turned down the bed in our room so I could just lay Lincoln down.
Joseph had brought up Lincoln’s backpack and his shoes and placed them just inside the door. I sat with Lincoln for a few minutes, stroking his hair and trying to get my emotions under control.
The past month had been a rollercoaster for my feelings, starting when I had gotten the call for the interview at Matthews Financial. Lincoln’s attack today had been traumatizing and draining, and I was exhausted.
Still, I couldn’t just collapse into bed with my little boy. The sun had barely set. If I went to bed now, I’d be awake in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep.
I was torn between staying by Lincoln’s side anyway and going to the kitchen to get something small to eat, but eventually, I decided not to hover. The doctor had assured me that he was fine, but that he needed plenty of rest. I would let him get that without me staring at him while he slept.
Instead of finding the kitchen empty as I had expected, Joseph was there pouring two cups of tea and dosing it with a healthy amount of whiskey. I lifted an eyebrow as I walked in, placing my palms on the island and looking up at him.
“Are we sure we should drink together after what happened last time?” It was a lame attempt at a joke, and it only got the corners of his mouth to twitch as he pushed the cup across to me.
I accepted the drink and sipped it slowly, my gaze on the view outside his kitchen window. There were so many thoughts tumbling around inside my head, so many emotions I needed to work through.
I felt Joseph’s warmth behind me before I saw him. When I looked around for him, he had come around the stool I was sitting on and came to a stop right in front of me.
Drained, tired and too desperate for human contact to question his motives, I just leaned into him. His strong arms came around my shoulders as he pulled me in for a tight hug. He wasn’t the kind of person I’d have pegged for a hugger, but he was pretty damn good at it.
The steady beat of his heart thrummed against my ear as I rested my head on his chest, my arms circling around his waist. “This is nice. Thank you.”
A quiet grunt was his only response. Although he didn’t say anything, he did hold on to me for several minutes longer than an ordinary hug would last. It came to a comfortable, natural end when we both relaxed our grip on the other and let go.
“How is he?” Joseph asked as he turned away from me and picked up his tea. He sipped it, watching me and waiting for an answer.
“Still sleeping. He didn’t open his eyes once. I’d be really surprised if he woke up before the morning. Pretty sure he’s down for the count.”
“He’s had a long day.” He lifted the cup and drank the last of his tea. “You can use the bathroom in my room if you want to have a shower or something before bed. That way you don’t have to worry about waking him.”
I tilted my head, really wondering if my boss had been body-snatched. “I’ll take you up on that. Thank you.”
“You can stop thanking me for everything,” he said, placing his cup in the sink behind him before motioning to me. “Come on, let me show you where it is. I also need to make sure there’s a clean towel in there.”
“Than—” I cut myself off when he gave me a look and rolled his eyes. “I mean, sure.”
Just like I’d accepted the tea and the hug without questioning him, I accepted it when he walked me to the bathroom. I really was considering taking him up on that offer to shower until I saw his tub.
It was magnificent; claw-footed and big enough for two. A picture window looking out over the glittering dark ocean was beside it. This is what dreams are made of.
I couldn’t say if it was my fatigue, the fear of the day or the whiskey, but before I could think about it, I turned to him. “Take a bath with me?”
There wasn’t a light on in the bathroom, but there was enough light spilling in from the bedroom that I could see him clearly. He had bent down to rummage around in a cabinet, presumably looking for that towel. Stiffening before he straightened up, he paused before slowly rising to his full height. “Did I just hear you ask me to take a bath with you?”
“Yes,” I whispered. My heart was hammering now and my palms were suddenly sweaty. What the hell am I doing?
Joseph’s head cocked and there was a moment of indecision before he let out a quiet, but primal sounding growl and closed the distance between us in two long strides. I could practically see the ‘what the fuck are we doing?’ question that my own subconscious was screaming at me radiating from his eyes, but that didn’t stop either of us.
Joseph’s lips crashed into mine with the force of an out-of-control freight train. My hands flew up to cup the back of his neck. I held him to me as I kissed him back with as much passion and pent-up need as he was kissing me with.
One of his arms banded around my back while the other traveled up my side and to my hair. I felt him tugging on the elastic band keeping my hair in its bun, then it was loose and tumbling past my shoulders.
Joseph’s fingers twisted into my hair almost immediately, a soft groan escaping him. I melted into him, unable to believe how good it was to be in his arms again. It was almost like my body had craved his for years instead of just the last few days since we’d first done this.
So much had happened in between that it felt like much longer, but it hadn’t even been a week yet. He was only kissing me, not really touching me—yet, hopefully—but I was already aching for him.
Pressing my chest into his, I deepened our kiss and dropped my hands from his neck to his hips. Once there, I work
ed my fingers under the edge of his pants and slowly dragged them to the front until I got to his button.
His breathing became labored, but mine was already there so I figured I was only evening the score. All it took to undo his button was a flick of my fingers, then a tug down on the zipper and I could push his pants off.
Joseph didn’t try to stop me, but he did get to work on my clothes. Neither of us wasted time in getting the other naked and neither of us seemed eager to stop kissing while we did it.
A couple of stumbles and near-falls later, our clothes were lying in a mess on the floor and I finally felt the heat of his skin against mine. It was almost a relief to feel him like this, but I was greedy when it came to him. I wanted more. So, so much more.
Slowing the kiss until our lips were only just touching, he cupped my cheek with his hand and rested his forehead against mine. “If you were serious about that bath, we’d better get the water running.”
I nodded, watching in stunned silence as he walked his bare ass over to the tub and turned on the taps. Once the water was running, he moved off to one side of the bathroom. I couldn’t see what he was doing at first, but then he struck a match and lit a candle I really hadn’t been expecting to be there.
After repeating the move a few times, there was a row of candles lit on the windowsill. He seemed to hear the question that was racing around my head. “I like to bathe, so sue me. I find it relaxing and it helps the pain sometimes.”
I could only stare at him, not because of what he’d said—that actually explained the candles pretty well, but because he was naked. He moved like he was entirely comfortable in the nude, but then again, he really didn’t have anything to be shy of.
The man was built as if he’d been sculpted from a Renaissance era statue, except that, well, his dick was much bigger than the puny things I’d seen in pictures of those statues. It was fully erect too, which just made it so much better to look at.
Come Work For Me Page 15