“Just okay? I take it you didn’t get any, then.”
“Not everything is about sex, dude.” Funny for me to say since losing my virginity was my life’s mission at the moment. But he didn’t need to know that.
“Only because you’ve never gotten laid,” Ryan countered. He was the only friend I’d told about my virginity, only because he’d kept hounding me about it one day in the locker room and I’d accidentally blurted it out. He’d given me shit ever since. “Once you’ve had some pussy, come back and tell me it’s not everything.”
I cringed at the word and zipped my backpack. Emery didn’t say I was staying the night, but I’d bring an overnight bag just in case things went well and we ended up fucking until the sun came up. Fingers crossed.
“Are you and Lexi hanging out tonight?”
“Nah,” Ryan answered. “She’s pissed at me right now. She snooped through my phone last night after we fucked and found some messages I forgot to delete.”
“You cheating on her?” I stripped down to my boxers and searched the shirts hanging in my closet. I had enough time to take a shower, dress, and grab a quick bite to eat before I went to Emery’s. Though, I was too anxious to have an appetite, so maybe I’d spend extra time in the shower instead of eating.
One of my worst fears was not being properly cleaned or something and embarrassing myself. God, my face heated just thinking about it.
“Not exactly,” Ryan answered. “I’m talking to a few girls, but I’m not, like, sleeping with any of them.”
“Why are you talking to them when you have Lexi?” I asked, grabbing a fresh pair of boxers and heading toward the bathroom.
“Just keeping my options open. The girls I’m talking to will be going to the same college as me. Lexi and I won’t even be together when I meet up with them.”
“Does Lexi know you won’t be together?”
“Hell no,” Ryan answered. “If she did, she’d dump me.”
Can’t blame her.
“That’s kinda shitty, Ry. She deserves to know that she’s just a fling.”
“Get off my dick, Cas,” he snapped. “I know what I’m doing, okay?”
“Okay.”
Right then, I appreciated Emery laying everything out earlier and making it clear what we were doing from the start. Because things could get messy if we weren’t on the same page. Poor Lexi was being strung along and didn’t even know it.
After I got off the phone with Ryan, I showered and got ready. It was twenty minutes until seven by the time I finished, so I didn’t have time to eat. I hoped my growling stomach wouldn’t kill the mood.
I texted Emery after getting in my car.
Me: On my way.
Liam: I hope you’re hungry.
Me: For cock? Definitely.
Liam: You’re horrible…
I laughed out loud like a dork and put my phone away.
When I pulled into Emery’s driveway, I was about to turn off my car when the garage door opened. I stared at it, confused. Then my phone rang.
“H-hello?”
“Park in the garage,” Emery said. “Just in case Ryan drives by and recognizes your car. I doubt he will, but as a precaution.”
“Okay.” I drove forward and parked beside his black Lexus. He drove an SUV that he kept parked in the driveway, so it was the first time I’d seen that one. “Goddamn you have a sexy car.”
“Is that a pickup line?” he asked with a raspy laugh. “Maybe I can take you for a ride sometime.”
“Now that’s a pickup line,” I said, getting out of my car and walking over to admire his.
The garage door closed, and the door leading into the house opened. I disconnected the call and turned to see Emery standing in the doorway, still wearing the suit from earlier minus the jacket. I ached to pull on his tie and unbutton his shirt as we made out against his car. It’d be so hot to fuck on the hood too.
“Hi,” I squeaked, snapping out of my daydream.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Mhm.” I walked toward him, not sure if I should greet him with a hug, a kiss, or nothing at all. I talked a big game over the phone, but in person, actually seeing Emery in all of his fucking sexy glory, well, my nerves kicked in.
Emery put a hand on my shoulder and leaned in to kiss my cheek before whispering in my ear, “It’s cute when you blush.”
“You would, too, if you were me. Have you seen yourself?”
“Have you seen yourself?” he asked, touching my jaw. “It’s taking all my self-control not to tear off your clothes right now.”
If I wasn’t blushing before, I totally was now.
A mouthwatering smell drifted to me from somewhere in the house as I followed him. Was he cooking? We passed the laundry room and went around the corner into the living room. As always, everything was in its place. No sign of disorder. His house looked like one from a magazine spread instead of one actually lived in. Instead of the overhead light, he’d turned on a few lamps which gave the place a relaxing vibe.
I was far from relaxed, though. My hormones were ramped up, as was my anxiety, and I felt like I’d spontaneously combust any moment.
“You can still change your mind,” Emery said, wrapping his arms around me from behind and placing his mouth to my ear.
“You sound as if you want me to change my mind.”
“A part of me does, yes.” He turned me in his arms, and my breath hitched in my throat when I found myself so close to his face. A face that had starred in more fantasies than I cared to admit. “We can’t just screw and never see each other again. We’ll be forced back together each time Ryan brings you around. So before we start anything, we need to be in complete agreement to avoid any tension. I want you, but I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t be somewhat relieved to have you end this here and now.”
His words struck a chord with me.
“If it’s such a bother, why even do it?” I asked. “There are a lot of young guys who’d give their left nut to be in your bed. What’s so special about me? Why go to all this trouble?” The more I questioned it, the more confused I became. “I know why I want this. But why do you?”
“Because I don’t want you turning out like me.” Emery pulled away and threaded his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t have anyone to help me when I was questioning everything, and I’m still dealing with the shit being in that dark place caused. I want to help you. I want you to feel comfortable exploring your sexuality without being ashamed or hurt.”
Not the answer I wanted. He made it sound like a chore.
“I’m just some pity case for you, then?” I asked, my excitement waning. “The pitiful little virgin who needs Daddy to hold his hand?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“But it’s what you meant.”
“You’re putting words into my mouth,” Emery said, annoyed. “If you were some pity case, why would I have spent all goddamn day stressing about making tonight perfect for you?”
The amazing smell from earlier had shifted.
“Is something burning?” I asked, crinkling my nose.
Emery’s eyes went wide. “Shit!”
He turned and bolted toward the kitchen. I went after him and coughed when I ran into a cloud of smoke, my eyes stinging. Emery pulled the smoking skillet off the stove and cursed up a storm before turning off the burner. He flipped on the overhead fan on the stove before opening the window above the sink, ushering out the smoke.
“You were cooking?”
He leaned against the counter. “Yes. Steak and roasted potatoes.”
“Because I was coming over?”
“Yes,” he said again, looking at me. “Why are you smiling?”
“I don’t know,” I answered, feeling shy all of a sudden. “You really thought this through, huh? You were gonna wine and dine me before taking me to bed? Like a damn gentleman.”
Emery stepped away from the counter and glared at the blackened steaks in the skillet.
“When you put it like that, I guess it was stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid.” What was this achy feeling in my sternum? I couldn’t stop smiling. “I’m… flattered, I think. I expected to come over and fuck. I didn’t expect… well, this.”
“You didn’t expect burned steak?” He released a sharp breath and approached me, his eyes unreadable. “Look, I’m not good at this. I’ve never dated the guys I’ve been with. I met them, fucked them, and never saw them again.”
“I told you I’m not asking for any of that romance crap, Emery.” Hadn’t we already made that clear?
“I know you aren’t,” he said, his tone sharp. “But it doesn’t feel right to treat you like I treat all of them.”
“Because I’m a virgin?”
“No, because you’re…” He shook his head and averted his eyes. “It just doesn’t feel right, okay?”
I didn’t see what was so hard about having a fling. The point of one was supposed to make things easier, less stressful. Fun.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Ever since Emery and I started this confusing dance weeks ago, he’d told me to leave each time things got heavy. So I decided to beat him to the punch.
“No,” he answered, taking the last three strides toward me. “I’m sorry I’m such a goddamn mess. I don’t know why I’m like this.”
I realized something pretty important about Emery in that moment. He wasn’t just a planner and had to have everything organized; he was also a major control freak. Just look at the dude’s house. Everything was perfect. No chaos to be found.
And there I was, the chaos in his perfectly structured world.
“Can I be honest without you getting pissed?” I asked.
“Of course.”
“You’re too much in your head,” I said, gripping his hips and tugging him against me. “We decided this will be a no-strings thing, so let this shit go. You’re stressing about not treating me like other guys, but that’s exactly what I want. I don’t need to be wined and dined. I want to be fucked. Hard. So stop overthinking everything and just fuck me already.”
Something seemed to click in his head. Suddenly, there was no hesitation in his eyes. No confusion. His expression turned dazed almost.
Emery grabbed my face and kissed me, slamming me against the wall and rattling the pictures hanging beside us. It was unlike any other kiss he’d given me. His lips meshed to mine without restraint. His hands slid under my shirt, and he tugged it up and over my head. Then he was kissing my neck, undoing the button on my jeans.
I panted and clung onto his back, enjoying this wild side of him. It was like he’d needed me to take charge and demand what I wanted. And now he was free.
“I want you so fucking much,” he growled before gently nipping at my lips.
I felt exactly how much he wanted me too. His cock was at full attention as he grinded against me.
I was still getting used to the feeling of being in a man’s arms, but I knew it was right where I needed to be. Having his hard body pressed to mine, hearing his low voice whispering in my ear, feeling his slightly calloused hands sliding along my skin… there was nothing sexier.
He kissed me again and pulled me away from the wall, guiding me out of the kitchen and down the hall. I knotted my fingers in his hair, and he squeezed my ass as we clumsily made our way to his bedroom.
Emery pushed me onto his bed and joined me there, his lips locked on mine and his wandering hands tugging at my pants. He moved down my body, kissing my stomach and down farther, pulling off my pants and freeing my cock.
This was the Emery I wanted… the one I’d seen in the hotel that night. Someone who acted on impulse and didn’t let his thoughts get in the way.
“I love how ready you are for me,” Emery murmured, brushing his lips across my swollen tip. The vibrations of his voice made me shudder. “How do you want it for your first time?”
I could barely speak. “What do you mean?”
His lustful gaze flickered up to me. “Do you want me to ride your cock, or do you want me to pound your ass?”
Holy shit. My ability to speak left with my ability to think.
Gripping my base, he teasingly licked the head of my cock, his gaze on mine. “You said you think you’d be a bottom, but if you want to try both, I don’t mind.”
“You bottom?” I asked, feeling light-headed. Probably because of the rush of blood to my dick.
“I flip,” he answered before slipping my tip into his mouth.
I fucking melted into the mattress. The warm cushion of his mouth combined with the pressure of his hand on my nut sac had my eyes fucking rolling back into my head. He swirled his tongue and glided his lips up and down.
“Cason?” he asked, freeing my cock from his mouth with a wet pop. I peered down at him. He was smirking. “Answer my question. Because I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
That’s when I noticed his pants were pushed down and he was stroking himself as he sucked me. I hardened even more at the sight, something Emery definitely noticed given the widening of his smile.
I wanted to try both ways eventually, but the attention he was paying to my cock made my decision super easy.
“I want you to ride me,” I said, panting, finding nothing hotter in that moment than the thought of him grinding on me.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Emery said, kicking off his pants before crawling back up my body. “Because you have one hell of a dick.”
I grinned as my cheeks heated. I was never one of those guys who boasted about the size of their cock, but I liked hearing Emery praise it.
Emery opened the drawer beside the bed, and I chuckled when seeing Larry Lube still covered in duct tape and frowning in Sharpie. He placed the bottle beside my hip and tore off a condom from the pack.
“Do I need to…?” I struggled with how to phrase it. “Do I need to prep you?”
I’d watched enough videos to have the basics down, but porn often skipped over the real anal prep. My inexperience was embarrassing. I didn’t want to hurt Emery or do such a horrible job that it turned him off.
“Next time you can,” he said, dribbling some lube in his hand before reaching behind him. “I’m too impatient right now.”
Watching him finger himself right over me was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. His eyes closed and his head dropped back. His lips parted and his breaths came quicker.
“Put on the condom,” Emery rasped, looking down at me. He then lifted a brow. “You know how, right?”
“I may be a virgin, but I’m not completely clueless.” I snatched up the condom and tore it open. My hands trembled as I rolled it on.
“Okay,” Emery said, arching his back as he continued opening himself with his fingers. “Lube up your cock.”
I did as he said, relieved he was telling me what to do and not making me feel ashamed for it. I grabbed the lube and squeezed some into my palm before coating my dick. I was the hardest I’d ever been, and my whole body was insanely sensitive.
Just the smallest movement of his thigh on mine had my skin tingling, like I was a spark waiting to ignite. And he was the fuel.
Emery leaned down to kiss me before positioning himself over me. My breath caught in my throat as I stared up at him. I ran my hands down his sides, my heart thumping like crazy.
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded, too fucking aroused to speak.
He grabbed my cock and placed it at his opening before slipping the tip inside. The breath left my lungs at the tight heat of him.
“Breathe, Cason,” Emery said, smirking.
Slowly, I exhaled. “You’re too damn hot.”
Emery took more of me inside his body, and I spread my legs a bit wider and gripped his hips. He didn’t have a total gym bod, but it was clear he took good care of himself. A four-pack and a wide chest. A sexy as hell happy trail that led right to where I couldn’t stop staring. I’d wanted this man for so long, and now I fi
nally had him in bed.
He moved a little faster, gliding up and down my cock.
“Ah, fuck,” I panted. “That feels…” I dropped my head back and groaned.
Please don’t come too fast.
But I wasn’t sure how long I could hold on.
Emery rolled his hips, releasing a small groan of his own. He grabbed his dick, giving himself long strokes. I then replaced his hand with mine, wanting to be the one to please him. He cracked a smile as I pumped my hips upward and stroked him.
Being so intimate with someone made me self-conscious. Not just because I was naked with my cock up his ass, but all of it. The closeness, the soft touches of his hands on my chest, and the way his eyes flickered to mine as he moved on me. I felt so bare. Vulnerable.
Safe.
He gave me a sense of security I’d never found anywhere else.
Emery came down on me faster, harder. I jerked him in time with his movements, and he gave a lustful smile, his eyes closing. The sensation of him hugging my cock brought me closer and closer.
“You going to come?” Emery asked in a rasp.
Pressing my lips together, I nodded. “Mhm.”
He planted his hands on my chest and bounced on my dick faster while his cock slid between my closed fist. His ass clenched around me, and then he was coming, shooting ribbons of white on my abdomen.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I said as my balls drew up. My muscles tensed and I held my breath.
And then I was coming too.
“That’s it,” Emery said, leaning down and softly kissing my collarbone as my cock pulsed inside him.
My fingertips dug into his thighs as the last wave of orgasm rippled through me.
“Whoa.” I puffed out a breath and met his satisfied smile. “Can we do that again?”
A rumble went through his chest, and he rolled off me. I took off the condom and sat up, my whole body like jelly. Emery grabbed the small trash can from the connecting bathroom and came over so I could dispose of the rubber. His cock hung heavy between his legs as he walked, and when he turned, I stared at his ass, having the urge to bite it.
“You staring at my ass?”
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