“I’m so glad she dumped that cowboy,” Ryan said, scrolling through his Instagram.
“Why did she break up with good ol’ country boy Dustin?”
“Because he was a homophobic twat,” Ryan answered. “It’s why I’ve never liked him. After Dad came out, Dustin used to get in my face and ask if I was a little cocksucker too. I never told you about it, because you didn’t know Dad was gay and that was a can of worms I wasn’t ready to open yet. When Dustin found out you were gay and started badmouthing you, Mom kicked him out.”
My chest warmed. “Oh.”
“She loves you, Cas.” He nudged me with his foot. “So do I. But if you and my dad ever get married, don’t expect me to call you Daddy.”
A strangled sound left me, a mix between a laugh and a snort. I hadn’t even considered that. Emery and I were still a far ways away from marriage, though.
I left Ryan’s dorm around five and drove back to Fort Smith. We were meeting Jay at Bricktown Brewery around seven thirty, and I wanted to have time to shower and fret over what I was going to wear before going to Emery’s house.
Usually I didn’t put much effort into my wardrobe, going for athletic clothes and simple tees and jeans. However, meeting Jay made me want to look my best. I would never be on his level of hotness, but I didn’t want to look like a creature that had just crawled out of the sewer either.
Back at my dorm, I showered and walked into the room with a towel around my hips.
Vincent came through the door and jumped when seeing me. “Sorry!” He closed the door and went over to sit on his bed. “Oh yeah, you have dinner plans tonight. You excited?”
“Do I look excited?”
He smiled. “Actually, you look a bit pale. Is Jay really that hot?”
I clicked on my Facebook and typed in Jay’s name—not the first time I’d looked him up. Not that I’d ever admit it to anyone, but I had stalked Jay’s page not long ago and it had only made me feel worse. He was easily the sexiest man I’d ever seen.
It made me insecure. I’d never understand why Emery could be around Jay and still want me.
“See?” I showed Vincent a photo of him.
Vincent studied it before making an odd face. “I know I’m straight and everything, but even I would tap that.”
“Not helping,” I said, tossing my phone on the bed. Then, as a way to distract myself, I asked him about Faith. They had gone to the anime con earlier that month and had sort of been dating since then. They hadn’t made it official, but it was obvious to anyone who saw them.
“She wants me to go to a poetry reading tonight,” Vincent said. “It’s at a coffee shop. I’m not into poetry really, but it sounds like it could be fun.”
“Want to trade?” I asked, pulling a red button-up shirt off the hanger.
“Nah, I’m good.”
I chuckled and grabbed my nicest pair of jeans and clean boxers before going to the bathroom to change. Changing in front of other dudes didn’t bother me because of my locker room days in high school, but I doubted Vincent wanted to see my naked ass.
Around six forty, I drove to Emery’s house. He greeted me at the front door with a kiss and looked me up and down.
“You look nice,” he said, and then his forehead creased. “Did you put product in your hair?”
“Maybe,” I said, running a hand over my head. “Does it look okay?”
“It does.” He touched my cheek. “Stop worrying.”
“What makes you think I’m worrying?”
Emery gave me that look—brows skewed and humor shining in his eyes.
“Okay, I’m worrying a little,” I admitted, smoothing a hand down my shirt. “I regret setting this whole thing up. Jay’s like a god, and I’m the little peasant boy who cleans out the stables.”
Emery gripped my chin and brought me closer. “But he’s not the one who warms my bed at night, is he?”
I gulped as I stared into his eyes. Okay, I took back my earlier thought. Emery was the sexiest man I’d ever seen. Jay came in at a close second, though.
“You ready to go?” he asked, trailing a finger down my jaw.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Be good at dinner and I’ll treat you to dessert later tonight,” Emery said in his raspy, alluring tone, practically eye-fucking me.
“Does this dessert involve more strawberries?” I asked, getting hard at the memory of our last fruit session in bed.
He leaned closer, his breath tickling the area right below my ear as he murmured, “I bought a bottle of whipped cream especially for you.” His hand slid to my ass and gave it a nice squeeze. “Now get your sexy ass in my car.”
Jay had called Emery on our way there and said he grabbed us a table near the bar. As we walked through the parking lot toward the entrance, my stomach was in knots.
And then Emery grabbed my hand.
“Relax,” he said. “Jay is a great guy. If you don’t want to do this, though, we can cancel. I’m sure he’d understand.”
I focused on our joined hands and smiled. One, because we were in public and I loved being able to make it known that he was mine and I was his. And two, because the feel of his hand in mine gave me the confidence I greatly lacked.
“No.” I tightened my hold on him. “He’s your closest friend, and I want to meet him.”
Emery brought our hands up and kissed my knuckles before lowering them again. The smile on his face gave me even more courage. I could tell this meant a lot to him.
Once we were in the restaurant, I searched the tables for Jay.
“There he is,” Emery said, before leading me toward the left side of the room with the wall of flat-screen TVs.
Jay stood as we neared the table, looking devilishly handsome in a black T-shirt, frayed jeans, and his bangs styled to the side. How he made casual look so damn gorgeous I’d never know.
“Hey,” he said, offering me his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
I shook his hand and returned his friendly smile—though mine probably made me look constipated or something. “Same. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Likewise,” Jay answered, before sitting back down. He nodded to Emery. “This guy can’t seem to shut up about you. It’s a little annoying, actually.” He winked at me, showing he wasn’t serious.
Goddammit, I liked him. It was hard not to.
The waitress took our drink order before leaving again.
“Emery tells me you’re a CJ major,” Jay said, and being the sole focus of his green eyes made my head a little fuzzy.
“Y-yeah. I am.” When our drinks were brought, I took a drink of water and worked on calming my nerves. It was hard seeing Jay and not imagining him all over Emery in bed. God help me.
“That was my major too,” Jay said, flashing a crooked smile. “Before I changed it to Law anyway. I wanted to be a detective.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I don’t like guns,” he responded with a light laugh. “I also have two left feet and suck at PT.”
I found myself laughing too.
Emery caught Jay’s eye from across the table, and some unspoken thing passed between them. Whatever it was didn’t seem bad, though, because right after, Emery looked at me and gave me a smile that made my heart soar.
“Have you guys ever fought against each other in court?” I asked, looking at Jay. “You’re a prosecutor, right?”
“Tell the boy how many times I’ve kicked your ass in court, Cross.” Jay smirked.
Emery squared his jaw, though his eyes were amused. “I haven’t kept count.”
“Because there’s been a lot,” Jay said to me.
“One day you’ll be knocked off that pedestal, Foley.”
Jay lifted his brows. “We’ll see.”
It was honestly way too much hotness for me to handle. I could sit and watch them go back and forth at each other all night. But Jay seemed determined to keep me part of the conversatio
n, which I appreciated.
“Have you heard him snore yet?” he asked. “It’s like a bear.”
I laughed. “Yeah. It’s pretty bad sometimes.”
“I don’t snore,” Emery said, taking a swig of his beer.
The jumble of nerves in my gut began to dissipate the longer we talked. Never once did Jay flirt with Emery or even hint that he still wanted him in that way—which had been a huge worry of mine. Because the hot ex always did that shit in movies and books, and I’d been dreading it like a root canal. Actually, the root canal would’ve been better.
But Jay wasn’t like that. He was friendly, charming, and an all-around nice guy.
Our food orders were taken, and then Jay asked about my classes. I talked about a professor named Dr. Gibbs, who I could already tell was going to be a pain in my ass.
“Damn. Old man Gibbs is still alive and kickin’?” Jay asked, resting his arm across the back of the empty chair beside him. “That old bastard taught my college algebra class. It’s a miracle I passed.”
Emery pressed his leg against mine, and I reached down to grab his hand. He rested our joined hands on top of the table and smoothed his thumb along my knuckles. Jay looked at our hands and smiled before drinking more of his beer.
I had worried over nothing.
Chapter 26
Emery
“Why are you staring at me like that?” I asked Jay, after Cason had gotten up from the table to go to the bathroom.
Jay tipped the bottle back for another drink. “He’s a good kid. I like him.”
“He’s not a kid, Foley.”
He laughed. “Right. Sorry. He’s a good young man. Better?”
Ignoring him, I ate more of my burger before setting it back on the plate and wiping my mouth. I was stuffed.
“Remember the last time we slept together?” Jay asked. My first instinct was to get mad that he’d bring it up, but then I saw his serious expression.
“What of it?”
“You were so angry,” he said. “And you had that look in your eyes.”
“What look?”
“The burning man. Like your anger was melting you down, piece by piece.” Jay leaned forward on the table, a strand of his hair falling free of its hold. “You’re not burning anymore, Cross. Happy is a good look on you.”
Cason returned to the table and slid into the chair beside me. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Not at all,” I said, putting an arm around him.
“I was just tellin’ Cross that if he screwed up things with you, I’d gladly snatch you up,” Jay said, winking like the playboy he was. It was different than when he did it with other people, though. With Cason, it was all a show.
Funny how I was learning how to read Jay just like he read me. We’d reached a great point in our friendship. I trusted him.
“Oh.” Cason blushed and looked at his near-empty plate.
I exchanged a grin with Jay.
After we paid for dinner and went outside, we walked together toward the parking lot. Cason walked between me and Jay, holding my hand.
“Thanks for inviting me to dinner,” Jay said, stopping near his car.
“It was fun,” Cason responded. He looked like he’d meant it too. “We should do it again soon.”
“I’d say we could go to a bar next time, but…” Jay shrugged, a sly grin curving his lips.
Cason snorted. “Yeah, yeah. I’m not old enough. Rub it in, pretty boy.”
“Pretty boy?” Jay asked with a laugh. “I like that.”
“Of course you do.” I rolled my eyes. “See you in court Tuesday morning.”
Jay got in his car, and I guided Cason over to mine.
The night held a chill, and I rubbed Cason’s arms as he shivered and stepped closer to my side. I’d never get tired of touching him. He’d wormed his way into my heart, filling the hole left there from all my years of living in denial and self-hatred.
“Do you feel better now about him?” I asked, once we were in the car.
“Mhm.” Cason buckled his seat belt before taking hold of my hand again. It seemed he couldn’t touch me enough either. “Now when y’all go out for drinks, I won’t be worrying about him trying to steal you away.”
“Good.” I started the engine and backed out of the parking lot. “Jay and I might have a history, but we’re different now. I’m different. Because of you.”
“Ah, I didn’t do anything special.”
Jay’s words played over in my head. I not only felt different on the inside, but it showed on the outside as well. Cason had helped me more than he could ever realize. I wasn’t the angry man I used to be. And while our relationship had caused a huge falling-out with Ryan, it had also brought us closer together afterward.
Almost like everything had to be destroyed in order to be rebuilt with a better foundation.
“Are you okay?” I asked, catching him staring out the window with a blank expression.
“Yeah,” he answered, giving me a tight smile before looking at the park we drove past. “I was just thinking about the bench I usually sit on when I’m struggling with something. I haven’t had to go for a while.” He rested his head back on the seat and smiled over at me. “You’ve helped me too, you know. Before you, I never knew what it was like to truly love someone and be loved in return.”
My eyes stung and a lump wedged in my throat. Certain my voice would shake if I responded, I squeezed his hand and focused on the road. When we got to my place, I intended to worship him—to kiss every inch of his incredible body and erase any doubts in his mind of how much I loved him.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Cason by my side. He made me feel alive. Happier than I’d ever been.
The journey getting to this point had been a rough one filled with many ups and downs. There’d been moments when I hadn’t known if it would all end in flames. But there we were, hand in hand and smiling at the amazing life we were living.
And I couldn’t wait to see where that life took us next.
The End
The Desires of the Heart series continues with His Surrender, Jay’s story.
Coming spring 2020.
About the Author
Jaclyn Osborn was born and raised in the state of Arkansas. When not writing, she can be found plotting and gaining inspiration for the next story. The men in her head never leave her alone, but she doesn’t want them to. Writing is her passion and she’s thankful for each day she’s able to live her dream.
All types of genres in the gay literature world interest her, in both reading and writing, and she hopes to delve into them in her writing career. So far, she has written adult contemporary, young adult, medieval, paranormal, fantasy, and historical.
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Other Works
Standalone
Axios: A Spartan Tale
Eryx: A Spartan Tale
Tangled Up In You
A Gift of Time (A Christmas Story)
Cheater and the Saint
Brighter Shades of Light
Hensley Manor (A Snow Globe Christmas)
Dear Adam
Tales of Fate Series
Found at Sea (Book 1)
The Nymph Prince (Book 2)
Love in Addersfield Series
Declan (Book 1)
Royal (Book 2)
Gideon (Book 3) Coming Soon
Ivy Grove Series
The Ghost of Ellwood (Book 1)
The Awakening Series
-Michael’s Awakening (Book 1)
-Zack’s Awakening (Book 2)
-Benji’s Awakening (A Companion Novella)
-Kane’s Awakening (Book 3)
Port Haven Series (Young Adult lgbtq+)
Noah’s Song (Book 1)
Reaching Avery (Book 2)
The Cadbury Series
-Strength to Forgive (Book 1)
-Scars We Hide (Book 2)
His Temptation Page 25