The Wicked Truth

by Pru Schuyler

  He laughs and throws one of the crewnecks at me, picking the other one up. “Oh, Stella, do I have to spell it out for you?” He shakes his out and holds it up, just his size.

  Oh my.

  Tears threaten to fall. “You’re going with me?”

  He smiles and takes the key from my hand. “And this is a key to the house that’s waiting for us, exactly two-point-one miles from the Boulder campus. Our house.” He smiles big, and that damn smile breaks my resolve.

  The first tear falls down my cheek, and Cade catches it with his thumb.

  “You like it? You’ll move in with me?” he asks.

  “Yes, yes, yes. Of course, yes.” I throw my arms around him, and he scoops me up, the air between us shifting.

  He keeps me wrapped around his waist and tilts his head, pulling closer to me. When his lips meet mine, they feel powerful and strong and promising, but they have the softest, gentlest touch. These kisses are different but so very, very special. He lowers me onto the bed, his lips never leaving my mouth. He pulls back only to nip the skin at my neck, sending chills down my entire back.

  I didn’t know if or when there would be a time that I would want to open myself up again. But here I am, and I’m choosing to give myself to Cade. If there was ever a perfect moment, it’s right here, right now.

  I hook my fingers under his black shirt and tug. He pushes up and lifts his arms, letting me pull the shirt over his back. My dress is next to go. I arch my back, and he pulls it up over me. Before it even hits the ground, his lips are on my skin again, igniting me. My bra follows my dress to the floor.

  “You’re so beautiful, Stella,” he whispers against my chest, nipping at my sensitive skin.

  I sit up and reach out, hooking the waist of his jeans. I slide my fingers to the center, unhooking the button. I slip my fingers in the band of his boxers and pull them down together.

  “Are you sure you want to do this, Stella?” He’s panting. I know he wants this as bad as me.

  I bathe in his emerald gaze. “Yes. Absolutely yes.”

  I reach into the nightstand, grab a foil packet, and hand it to him. He tears it open with his teeth and glides the condom on.

  “You tell me to stop, and I’ll stop immediately. Okay?” He searches my face for hesitation, but he’s not going to find any.

  If I have ever been sure of one thing in my life, it’s this. I want to share this with him and only him—forever.

  “Okay,” I promise.

  His lips find mine once again, and love radiates from him. He shifts his weight, and a pressure forms between my legs—he’s a lot bigger than Austin.

  He freezes. “Are you okay?”

  I look up into his deep green eyes. “Yes. Keep going.”

  He starts to move, and the sensations are overwhelming, better than I could have ever imagined. Soft moans escape his lips, which only intensifies the need in my core. He picks up speed, and my insides tighten, the euphoric feeling building, close to erupting.

  This is everything it’s supposed to be. To share it with someone who would do anything for you is everything. It means more, so much more.

  He makes me feel secure and safe. And I’m never worried that he will push me further than I want. He’s patient and loving, and nothing compares to the sharp edge of vulnerability in my chest right now. I’m exposed, demons and all. He chooses to love every single part of me—the light, the dark, and the damaged.

  He leans down and wraps my arms around his back. Keeping the rhythm, he picks me up in his arms, and the sensations deepen as I curl my body around him.

  His lips find my neck, and his fast groans fill my ear. “I love you, Stella.”

  “I love you too.”

  His confession is my undoing. I fall over the edge and spiral for what feels like minutes. He finds his release with me, and we lie back on the bed.

  Perfection. That was absolute perfection.

  After moments of catching our breath, Cade rolls over to face me. “How are you feeling?”

  A little laugh escapes me, more from astonishment than anything. “Amazing actually.”

  “Good.” He sits up, beaming with pride, and a smile stretches ear to ear. He disposes of the condom in the waste bin.

  I sit up, and I can feel a slight soreness from Cade. But it’s welcoming and a memory of what just happened—with the promise of the many more times to come.

  He slips back into his clothes and walks around, blowing out all of the candles. Plucking one of the roses from my desk, he walks back to me.

  I finish dressing and take my rose. “You’re incredible—you know that?”

  “Oh, yeah, always have been. Glad it’s finally being appreciated.” He smirks.

  “Mmhmm.” I laugh at him.

  He walks over and curls his hands around my waist. “Want to see our house? I’ve got about a hundred pics on my phone.” He smiles down at me.

  Excitement blooms in me. “Yes, please.” I bury my face in his chest, reveling in his hug, breathing in his woodsy smell.

  This is home. He is my home. My present and my future. He is everything I never asked for but everything I’ve always needed.

  I’m so tired. From the twins’ birthday to Becca’s confession to Cade buying us a freaking house for school next fall. All I want to do this weekend is lie in bed and read—and occasionally make out with Cade.

  Brady’s trial starts next week, and it’s going to push all of us to our limits.

  Brooke is going to have to face the boy who raped her and then started dating her. He betrayed her in the most heinous way.

  Cade has to face his best friend, who ruined his sister’s life and broke his heart.

  I have to face the boy who caused the ones I love an ungodly amount of pain. Who also beat the living hell out of me.

  Dragging myself out of bed, I run to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower. And then I come right back to bed and curl up with my book. It follows the story of a girl who turned into a werewolf from a bite, and she joins this pack that has to save the world. You know, just a casual werewolf hero kind of novel. I’ve read about a hundred fifty pages before a knock sounds on my door.

  “Who is it?” I yell, refocusing on my page.

  The door opens, and Brooke walks in.

  “Hey, I missed you.” Her voice is small while she jumps up next to me, crawling under the covers.

  I love that this whole mess never took our relationship away. Granted, we were rocky there for a bit. But we fell right back into place, growing closer than ever. She lays her head on my shoulder, and I close my book, setting it on the nightstand.

  I rest my head against hers. “How are you doing, B, really?”

  I feel her shrug. “I don’t know. It’s hard. Like my mind jumps between accepting it happened and shifting to it feeling like a bad nightmare. Some days are easier than others, I guess.”

  “I’m here whenever you want to talk about it—if you do, of course,” I offer.

  “I know. I’m just not ready yet. It’s too fresh, and the trial’s next week. I just … ugh, I don’t know how to process any of this.” She sighs.

  I nudge against her, snuggling in. I need to do something to cheer her up. “I know. But, hey, want to go shopping today? I’m sure you already know, but Cade asked me to prom.”

  I feel her body energize, and she bolts up and turns to me, a smile on her face. “Oh my God, I completely forgot! What color are you thinking?”

  Once again, I get to see her beautiful face light up from her love of fashion and shopping.

  “I kind of want to get an emerald-green one again. What can I say? It’s my new fave color.” I laugh.

  She smirks, and her eyes finally have some life back in them. “Oh, I bet it is.”

  “Actually, can we go dress shopping a different day and just stay in today?” I ask her, not realizing how much I have been missing my best friend.

  “Yes, please,” she sighs out, apparently missing our conn
ection just as much.

  Brooke stays the night Friday and Saturday. She fills me in on how she’s going to University of Southern California in the fall. She wants to start fresh and just focus on herself. She wants time to find who she really is after all of this and who she wants to be. It’s perfect. I’m going to miss her like crazy, but if this is the best thing for her, then it’s the best thing for me too.

  Cade isn’t the biggest fan of not having alone time with me all weekend, but he understands that Brooke and I need some girl time.

  We spend the weekend curled in bed, watching movie marathons of John Wick, Marvel movies, and some old Disney throwbacks.

  The beginning of the week goes by weirdly fast but slow at the same time. It’s like every moment of each day this week has such importance that you can’t do anything but focus on the present.

  Brooke has to testify, and it hurts so much to see her in such pain. It makes me sick to my stomach, watching her have to face him head-on.

  Becca testifies as well, retelling her story to a courtroom full of people. It takes a lot of bravery to stand in the face of your abuser and share your darkest secret with the world.

  I am last to testify. I have to recount breaking into his house and finding the box with the jewelry. Thankfully, his mom doesn’t want to press charges against me for breaking into her house. I also have to share every detail of the night in Brooke’s room when Brady trapped me and beat me.

  I’ve been so focused on Cade’s and Brooke’s pain that I didn’t even take into account that I would be facing the boy who kicked me repeatedly in the ribs, broke my wrist, and concussed me. But if Brooke, Becca, and Sophie could sit up there, look him in the eyes, and ruin his life, then I could do my part too.

  My mom cries, and I cry as I shatter the only mask that she ever saw. The mask with a perfect smile and no cracks, the mask hiding the real me underneath.

  The judge is an older woman and been in the town her whole life, apparently. She is disgusted and appalled at every testimony given. I think she tries to hide her reactions, but she isn’t very good at it.

  Brady is given five years for each count of rape and two years for the count of assault on me. He is to serve them all consecutively, all seventeen years of them.

  Unfortunately, sexual assault cases, in my opinion, are not prosecuted to the fullest extent. Normally, rapists don’t get this much time. Some even walk away with no time. But thankfully, we had a judge who understood the psycho she was dealing with.

  Brooke, Becca, and Sophie will be able to move past this and finally put it behind them. They will never be the same, and they will always have the ghost of Brady in their past, as I have Austin. But they will learn to cope in their own ways, and they will go on to live their lives.

  Like I said, that’s the wicked truth of it all. Sexual assault never dies. It resides in each of its victims for the rest of their lives. At some point, they will accept what happened to them. Maybe months from now, years, or decades. They will have a moment where the power will shift, and they will gain the upper hand, never letting their abuser win again.

  Everyone handles their own pain so differently, and I think that’s what I learned the most. I never would’ve guessed in a million years that Becca was the other necklace owner. She was cruel and controlling and mean. But I guess that’s how she coped. She forced everyone to fear her so that no one would dare do that to her again. In a way, it makes sense. She built a shield around herself with her own words.

  Brooke surprised me too. When I’d first met her, she had been this bubbly girl who wanted to do everything and meet everyone. She loved the spotlight and the attention. She thrived in it. That was how Brooke found her way to heal. She had thrown herself into life, absorbing as much good as she could. Little did I know how much darkness was hiding under the surface.

  When I think of how I handled it, I feel like mine was the most obvious, but maybe I’m biased. I reverted into myself for so long. I couldn’t let people touch me. I needed to know every detail of every place I was going, person I was meeting, et cetera. I stayed inside twenty-four/seven, avoiding any danger that could be lurking outside.

  It goes to show that every single person handles their trauma in their own way. There is no right or wrong. There are no clear signs that say she or he was assaulted because they act this way. Everyone hides or conveys what they want. They become the master of their own mask, altering themselves to show what they choose.

  I used to wish I could change what Austin did to me. To go back in time and never date him in the first place. But I don’t think that way anymore. Yes, he caused me physical and emotional pain that was unbearable. But I am who I am now because of that pain.

  I appreciate Cade for his gentleness and patience because Austin had none. I never would have pursued Brooke’s rapist if I wasn’t still being haunted by my own. Does he deserve to be punished for what he did? No doubt in my mind. But that just isn’t my story. And that’s okay.

  I now have the most amazing boyfriend and the future of my dreams. I have a best friend who will never leave my heart and will forever be a huge part of my life. I’m closer to my mom and community than I ever thought I would be.

  I can’t believe I started this year with rules for myself—no friends, no boys, just school and home. I was completely closed off from the world. I was disconnected for so long that I forgot what it felt like to truly live.

  What a horribly boring year this would have been if I had listened to myself.

  EPILOGUE

  One Year Later

  “My name is Piper Fischer, and last year, I was sexually assaulted by my doctor. During a normal exam, she forced the speculum after I told her to stop. She also forced her fingers and continued to assault me for minutes. She moved away immediately after it happened. I never reported it.” Piper sits back down, and a wave of strength washes over her.

  “Thank you for sharing, Piper.” I smile at her. “All right, everyone, that’s all the time we have for today. We’ll meet again next week. Thanks, guys.” I gather my items and pack them into my bag.

  Piper walks over to me.

  Her eyes are watery. “Hey, Stella, would you want to grab coffee sometime? I’d love to be able to just tell everything to someone. If you don’t mind, obviously. I know it’s kind of a lot.”

  My heart warms at her offer. “I would love to. Text me. I’ll be out of town this weekend for my mom’s wedding, but otherwise, we can definitely find time.” My lips kick into a smile.

  “Okay, perfect. Have a good trip.” She smiles and walks away.

  I started leading a sexual assault group on campus this semester. It’s a safe space for people to tell their stories, share pain, or just listen and take the first step to move through it.

  I never imagined the connections I would make or the difference this group would have on its members. Last week, Cole, a freshman transfer, got the confidence to face his attacker and file a police report. He told me that even if it doesn’t result as he hopes, he will be okay because he’s finally found some peace with it all.

  It’s my mom and James’s wedding this weekend—Saturday, to be exact. I’ve never seen her happier, and I’m so excited for them both. James actually asked me for my mom’s hand and to make sure I was okay with it. Of course I said yes. But even him asking made it all the more special.

  I decided to pursue social work here at the University of Colorado. I’m going to be a sexual assault counselor. I’ll have to get my master’s, but I’m passionate about it. As a counselor, I will be the one who gets a call when an assault happens. Then, I will meet the individual at the hospital and be their safety net the entire time through. I’ll give them the security of having someone there with them.

  Cade is majoring in pre-law, planning to take over the law firm once his parents retire.

  When we finally got settled in, we decided to add a member to the family. Last semester, we adopted a tan-and-black Doberman, and his name
is Zeus. He had been a stray, and no one had ever claimed him. The only thing we know about him is that he killed chickens. How they had come to this knowledge, we don’t know. It’d made me laugh the first time I saw that on his kennel tag.

  He’s a complete sweetheart. All he wants is to curl up and cuddle in your lap, which he is way too big to do.

  We hired a dog sitter for the weekend. Her name is Lizzie, and she is the sweetest person I’ve ever met. She’s watched Zeus for us before.

  I totally judge people based on my dog’s reaction to them. Maybe that’s crazy, but oh well. Anyway, Zeus loved her from the first moment they met. It’s nice, having someone watching him who I don’t have to worry about twenty-four/seven.

  Brooke is coming up for the wedding too. She is studying law at the University of Southern California. She plans to use the degree to advocate for stricter sexual assault laws. And by volunteering her services to those in need. She plans on helping Cade run the firm when the time comes. She’s also taking a few fashion courses for her electives, making sure she sends me some of her original designs. I told her if she doesn’t end up loving law, she should switch to fashion because she’s so talented.

  When I pull into the driveway of our home, Cade is loading our luggage in his car. We are driving up for the wedding. It’s only about an hour away.

  I cut my engine and hop out. Cade smiles when he meets my eyes, and butterflies take off in my stomach. No matter how long we are together, he still gives me them every time.

  “Hey, handsome.” I walk up to him and throw my hands around his neck, stretching up on my toes.

  His deep emerald eyes flutter down at me.

  He leans in and kisses me before saying anything. “Hey, how was group today?”

  “Really good actually. Piper spoke for the first time, and she wants to grab coffee to talk.” I release my grip on his neck and head inside to greet my baby boy, Zeus.