Girl in the White Dress: Sam's Story

by Nikki D. Walker

  Play stupid, Sam. “Oh yeah? How is he?”

  “Ok. I guess him and Stacy broke up. He said they just didn’t want the same things and it wasn’t fair to continue with the relationship if they didn’t agree on the major things.”

  “Aw, that’s too bad. She’s a nice girl.” No idea what to say. “So I guess that means our double date is off, huh?”

  He laughed. “I think so. But we’re still on, right?”

  “You know it. I can’t wait.” It was true. I could not wait. I just needed a hug and to smell him. His smell was intoxicating. “Actually, what are you doing now?”

  “Now? Not studying for my Bio test.”

  “Do you want to come over?” I did not want to wait until tomorrow. I needed to see him now. I needed him to push Tim’s kiss out of my head.

  “Well, that depends…”

  “On…?”

  “Who is home?” Weird, it had never mattered before.

  “Um, Trinity is at Derek’s and Miranda and Kiley are somewhere. I never know with those two.”

  “Ok, be there in a few minutes.” That was the best part of living on campus… the boyfriend was literally minutes away at all times.

  I freshened up a bit in the three minutes I had before he would show up. I glanced around the townhouse, wow we were slobs. Eh, he had seen it messy before. I ran over to my room and looked around. Ok, not too bad, it had definitely been much worse. There was at least sitting room on the bed. I heard a knock just as I was throwing my clothes in the laundry basket to get them off the floor.

  When I opened the door, Danny was standing there with a bottle of wine. “Hey, handsome.”

  “Hey,” he gave me a kiss on the cheek as he walked in the door.

  I pointed to the wine “What’s the occasion?”

  “Nothing, I just thought it would be nice.” He headed to the fridge to keep it chilled. “I thought it would go nice with your Oreos. Wow, you women need to go food shopping.”

  “Yeah yeah. This woman also needs to find herself a job. The savings was definitely depleted. It would be great if the internship was paid.”

  “Yeah tell me about it. If I didn’t work in Student Services I’d be screwed.” He was rummaging around the kitchen. “Don’t you have any wine glasses?”

  I thought for a moment. “Yeah, they should be in the cabinet above the fridge. Generally, we buy boxed wine and it’s ok to drink that out of a plastic cup.”

  “Classy,” he joked.

  “Hey, what can I say?” I took the wine back out of the fridge and took the glasses he had gotten out of the cabinet. “Um, small problem.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t suppose you have a corkscrew?”

  “Shoot, really?” He looked at the bottle. “You don’t have one?” he asked.

  “Danny, boxed wine. No bottle, no cork. And Captain Morgan is a screw top.”

  “Ok then… umm…” He looked around for something to open it with.

  “Why don’t we save it for next time?” I suggested. “I’ll buy a corkscrew.” I put it back in the fridge. “In the meantime, how about some nice boxed white zinfandel?”

  He laughed. “I guess we really don’t have a choice, short of breaking the top. And I don’t know about you but I don’t want to drink glass.”

  “I think I’ll have to pass on that one tonight. Thanks, though.” I poured the boxed wine into the real wine glasses. “I don’t know if this is going to taste good not being in a plastic cup,” I joked.

  He just shook his head. (I know, I was a geek.)

  “So why did you ask if anyone was home?” I thought it was a strange question.

  He blushed. Hmmm… “Maybe because I wanted you all to myself tonight,” he said.

  “Oh really?” I moved closer to him. “Why’s that?”

  “So, I can do this as much as I want,” he kissed me and the rest of the night was a blur. Tim who?

  * * *

  Danny and I were nearly inseparable during the spring semester. We did hang out with Tim a few times and I still saw him every Wednesday. The semester was nearly over; we just had finals to get through, and Danny and I were going strong. I tried to avoid Tim like the plague at school, which was hard because he had been a good friend and I missed talking to him. This summer I was staying at school again. There were so many classes I needed to take and I did not want to take twenty years to graduate. Danny was moving in with Tim when the semester ended and I would probably not get away with avoiding him much longer.

  Sure enough that night when I went over to help Danny pack, Tim was there, looking gorgeous as always. Obviously my efforts to stay away from him had done me no good if it all comes rushing back the moment I see him. Argh!

  “Hey, babe,” Danny said. When I walked in Tim waved and looked away. We really had not talked about anything important since that day he kissed me. When Danny and I were around him, the conversation was limited to small talk.

  “Hey, boys,” I looked around at the boxes. “Looks like you guys are almost done.”

  “Yeah, just need to pack up my clothes and I’m good to go.” Dorms did not really allow for much stuff because of the lack of room, so he really only had about six or seven boxes. It would only require one trip in Tim’s F150.

  “Alright then,” I grabbed a box labeled sheets and headed to the door. (Yes, I purposely grabbed that one. Pots and pans were super heavy.) “Let’s get this show on the road.” I had hoped to get away from Tim as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, as usual, fate was against me.

  “I’ll meet you guys at the truck in a sec. I’m just going to throw my clothes in a tote,” Danny informed us.

  “Ok.” Tim took a box and we went down to his truck. Of course, as I expected, he brought up the kiss.

  “Tim, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I just want to apologize. I was an ass.” I could not disagree.

  “Yes, you were,” I told him.

  “Can we just forget it happened? I miss our friendship. I know you have been avoiding me. I know it’s my fault.”

  “Completely.” He looked so sad. I was such a glutton for punishment. The smart thing to do would be to stop talking to him all together. However, no one said I was smart. “Ok, fine. Starting over. But no more funny business.”

  “Deal.”

  If only…

  Chapter 10

  * * *

  Finals week was brutal. Morning exams were bad enough, never mind four-hour ones. Damn English Lit. I had to help Trinity pack her stuff when I got back. She was moving in with Derek permanently. I was happy for her, but sad she would not be my roommate anymore. At least Miranda and Kiley were not bailing on me yet.

  I got a job in Student Services so at least I had some semblance of income for the summer. Buying groceries was a tad important and as adorable as my smile was, I did not think it would pay the bills.

  I was taking four classes this summer and, yes, I was nuts. Some might call it ambitious, but I was realistic. I was crazy in the head.

  Tonight, I was going to Danny and Tim’s apartment to hang out. I kept thinking about what Tim said about starting over. I could not get the kiss out of my head, though. I know I was the rational one that stopped it… but it left an impression. It was incredible. So so wrong, but amazing. As hard as I tried, I could not deny I definitely still had feelings for Tim and knowing that he harbored feelings for me, as well, did not make that any better.

  When I got to the apartment, Tim was not there. He had to run to the store to get something to make for dinner. For Danny to make, I should say, since Tim could not cook to save his life from what they told me. I was not sure what the plans were for the night but I was hoping alcohol would be involved somehow.

  Danny and I were lounging on the couch watching a Friends rerun when we heard voices at the door. I instantly knew the second voice and jealously crept over me.

  “Hi, Stacy.” What the hell?

  “He
y, Sam,” she said awkwardly.

  Tim avoided my gaze. “I ran into Stacy at the store and invited her over.”

  “Hey, the more the merrier, right?” Danny chimed in. “Now we have enough people for some Cranium.”

  I moaned. Danny and his stupid board games. My attention was not going to be focused on a game, anyway. Stacy and Tim had broken up months ago and as far as I knew, they had not talked to each other since. I had not really seen her around Fowler School either, now that I thought about it.

  “So, Stacy, how have you been? I have not seen you around school,” I asked.

  “Good. I had a schedule change so I’m at Fowler on Tuesdays instead now.”

  Well that would explain it. Ok, I was done with pretending to care. “Who wants a beer?” I raided the fridge and found some Sam Adams. Score.

  Several Sam Adams later, I was feeling good. Probably too good because while Danny and Stacy had headed down the street to get a movie, I ventured into the living room and plopped myself next to Tim. “Soooo? Stacy again, eh?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. What does it matter to you?” he sounded a bit gruff. Nevertheless, he had a good point. What did it matter to me? It should not matter… but of course, it did.

  “Um,” I hesitated. “I guess it doesn’t.”

  He moved closer. “You guess? Or it definitely doesn’t matter?” By now, he was practically in my lap and I was not backing away.

  “They will be back any minute,” I said. At least I could still speak. Breathing, on the other hand, was getting more difficult by the second.

  “Uh huh, and?” So close… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He smelled just as amazing as Danny did. My head was telling me to move, but every bone in my body was frozen.

  After what seemed like an eternity, we heard the door. I jumped back about twenty feet and tried to compose myself. I could not keep doing this to myself… or to Danny.

  They ended up renting Office Space. I loved that movie. (Excuse me; I believe you have my stapler. He he.) I crashed at the apartment and Stacy went home about midnight. I tossed and turned most of the night trying to figure out my heart. I knew what I was feeling was not fair to Danny but I did not know how to stop feeling something for Tim.

  Tim’s side

  Tim pondered what had happened last night as he gazed out over the ocean. He liked to come here to think, to clear his head. The drive down the Bourne Scenic Highway was a quiet one. It was not summer, so it was not bogged down with tourists as it can be. He loved going down to the Cape during the off-season. Falmouth Heights Beach was one of his favorite spots to come relax but today he could not relax. He could not get her out of his head. What was he thinking trying to kiss his brother’s girlfriend? Of course, he had always had feelings for Sam, but he had no right to act on those feelings, not now. It was wrong of him to confuse her. Although, it was clear that she also wanted him, she was not going to risk what she had with Danny. She had made that crystal clear.

  He needed to get her out of his head. He started walking down the beach towards the dunes, blasting his music. He picked up his pace and started to jog, thinking of anything and everything other than Samantha Rayne. He tried to push out the day he met her, the day at the coffee shop a few weeks later, and then the day she walked into the classroom at Fowler School. The time he saw her at the pool hall, his pool hall, with Danny, sure, he was with Stacy but he knew that was not serious. Last night, at his apartment, they were having a great time until he tried to kiss her. God, he was such an idiot.

  You would have thought he had learned his lesson, too. Danny had finally trusted him again and last time it was not even his fault. Tim did not want to tell Sam the real reason that Danny was hesitant for all of them to hang out. He could not. It made him look like a complete ass. Now after last night, she already thought he was at least half an ass. You see, back in high school, Danny’s girlfriend, Ashley, had a huge crush on Tim. Tim did not reciprocate the feelings and she knew that but made a move anyway. Of course, her move happened just as Danny had been coming home and only saw her straddling Tim, there had been no time to push her off and object. The scene had played out all too quickly. Danny yelling and blaming Tim. Ashley not accepting blame. The brothers had not spoken for a few months because of the alleged betrayal. Tim vowed never to let that happen again. Now here he was kissing Danny’s girlfriend. Sam was right; he was not being a good person. He had to apologize to Sam and step back. It did not matter that he met her first. Danny was his brother and that took precedence.

  He glanced at his watch. He should head back. It was getting late and he still had not figured out if he was going to crash at his friend Brian’s house or head home but he did need to go by and say hi no matter what he decided. When Tim got back to the car, he noticed he had a missed call. It was from Danny. Tim’s heart sank. He hoped that Sam had not told Danny about what happened last night and that there would not be an angry voicemail waiting for him. Tim dialed his phone number. “You have one new message.” Crap. “Hey, it’s Danny. I was calling to see if we were still on for the double date tomorrow. Call me.” Ok, so apparently Sam did not tell him anything. He said a silent thank you. He was just calling to see if the double date with Stacy was on. Before Stacy left that night, they had made plans to hang out again. Tim was not exactly sure why. He definitely did not have any romantic feelings for Stacy, but he must have had too many drinks and tried to overcompensate for the Sam situation.

  Tim had a couple of options. He could stay on the Cape and tell Danny he and Stacy had cancelled or show up. He still had not made a decision when he arrived at Brian’s twenty-five minutes later.

  “Hey, dude, you showed!” Brian yelled from his porch. “Awesome, Krissy will be so excited to see you.”

  Tim smiled for the first time in twenty-four hours. Brian Denton was his oldest friend and Krissy had come into the picture in eleventh grade. Tim had been dating her friend, Tiffany, and she had started dating Brian. Tiffany did not last, but Krissy and Brian obviously had. It was nice to see true love last even through tough times. They had gone to separate colleges after graduation. Brian had stayed close to home but Krissy went to Michigan State. They had found their way back to each other after college when she moved back home. They were married seven months later and bought a home in Hyannis, MA. Tim could not have been happier for them.

  “I’ve missed you guys so much,” he admitted. “You’ll have to come out to Worcester one of these days.”

  “Absolutely! We miss you and Danny, too.” Tim cringed slightly at the mention of his brother’s name. “How is he?” Brian asked.

  “Um, he’s great. I’m the one with the issues…”

  “Issues? What’s going on?” Brian motioned for Tim to have a seat on the porch swing. “Or does this require a beer first?”

  Tim laughed. “Definitely beer first.”

  “Alright, be right back.” Time silently debated telling Brian the whole truth, but he had never held back from his friend before, why start now? Brian was as much a brother to him as Danny was.

  A few minutes later Brian returned with a couple of Coors. “Ok, start explaining.”

  Tim told him all about Sam. How they met and met again and again and how suddenly she was dating Danny. He told his friend about the kiss that had almost happened and the kiss that did happen. He told Brian about his feelings for her… he had to admit it to himself first, but Tim knew deep down that he had fallen in love with Sam long before this mess started.

  “You’re in quite the predicament, dude.”

  “Thanks for stating the obvious,” Tim said. “Any suggestions on how to deal with this?”

  “Right now, avoid her. If you’re not around her nothing can happen right?”

  “It’s worth a shot.” Tim called Danny and let him know that he and Stacy had decided dating again was a bad idea that was of course after he called Stacy to cancel. He told him that he was on the Cape with Brian so he would not be around a
t all that night. He was cool with it but Tim could not help but feel disappointed at not seeing Sam, which also made him glad he was not going to be around. He had to find a way to get her out of his head.

  I spent a lot of time at the apartment with Danny that summer and it did not go unnoticed (by me anyway) that when I was there, Tim usually was not. Danny had been acting weird the past few weeks and I had thought he started to suspect something but unfortunately, the real reason was almost worse.

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “Why are you doing this?”

  “It’s just something I have to do. I cannot sit here and do nothing. We’ve been attacked and I feel helpless and I don’t want anything to happen to anyone I care about,” he said.

  Danny had decided to enlist himself in the army. Are you freaking kidding me? He felt like he needed to help somehow after the attack on the World Trade Centers last year. I knew that it had bothered him but I did not expect this. It had bothered many people but not everyone had decided to enlist. I did not want to lose him.

  The reason he was acting strangely was because he was leaving in two weeks and did not know how to tell me. He was going to tell Tim that night. I had two weeks to adjust to the fact that he might get himself killed over there for a cause that I was not sure I believed in. However, it was not about me. Apparently, it was something he had to do.

  Telling Tim had not been much easier for him either. Tim was pissed. He was very much against the war but told Danny that he would always support him no matter what he decided. We spent as much time together as we could the next two weeks. The three of us were together a lot because Danny wanted to spend time with both of us.

  We drove him to the bus station and wished him a safe farewell. There were at least twenty other college aged people there, men and women. I had a lot of respect for people willing to risk their lives for something that they believed so strongly in. It kind of made me feel like crap for not wanting to get in on the cause but I just could not. I wanted to see Bin Laden go down for the attack but I had reservations. I could not explain it.