“Sure.”
I put my coat and purse down silently cursing to myself and tried to find the K-cups. This should be interesting, as I had never used one of these before. Just as I was about to put the cup in the machine, I felt arms wrap about me. Clearly, his new favorite thing to do was surprise me.
“Good morning, beautiful. I thought maybe you might like some help.”
“Uh, kind of. Do I just put the cup in or do I open it?” He took the K-cup from me and demonstrated how to use the machine. (That was ridiculously easy and I totally would have screwed that up.)
“So, um, what happened?”
“Yeah, could we maybe have this conversation after my essential morning coffee?” I had no answer for him and stalling seemed my only option.
“Yeah, ok.” He made our coffees and I scrounged the cabinets for food. Score, bagels. Hangover food. (Yeah, I really needed to stop drinking.)
We settled in on the couch. “Alright, what happened?” I asked. I really needed some clarification on that, as I was still fuzzy about the events of the previous night.
“Well, we know what happened.” True. “But I guess the more important questions are why and what does it mean?”
“You do realize it is way too early to contemplate these things. Plus, I’m supposed to be driving back to PA today.” Wow, good coffee. I was definitely going to get me one of those machines. As much as I love coffee, I have zero coffee making skills.
“Stay,” he said simply.
“What?”
“For the week. Stay and we can see what this is,” he said. “It clearly happened for a reason and maybe we should see where it goes or what it means.”
I did not know if that was a brilliant idea or the stupidest idea but I found myself agreeing to it. I had already told Mr. Mooney at the video store I needed the week off. I had some homework to catch up on and technically online classes could be done from anywhere. Boo. “On one condition,” I said.
“Anything.”
“We start fresh. You would have to woo me again. And no sex! That just complicates things. Besides, we already know we’re good at that.” Last night was starting to come back in bits and pieces and sex definitely was not our weak point. We never really had one – just him cheating. Was that something I could hold against him when I was guilty of the same crime? I am going with no.
“Agreed.”
“Ok, on that note, could you bring me back to Trinity’s apartment so I can shower and do some reading for my class? I have a discussion post due tonight.” I gathered my things once again. “And a date to get ready for.”
He blinked. “A date?”
“Yes, you’re taking me out,” I smiled knowing he thought it was with someone else, even if for only a split second.
“Ah, I see. Where would you like to go?”
“Surprise me.”
* * *
Just as I was starting my homework, I heard my voicemail ding. Not sure why the phone did not actually ring, but whatever. It was a message from Danny asking me to call him. I had no idea why he would want to chat and I debated not calling him back. (It also reminded me of the text from Tim I had yet to respond to.) I thought for a moment and decided he at least deserved a return call. I hoped everything was ok. Here goes nothing. He answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Sam.”
“Hi. I am glad you called me back. I wasn’t sure you would, or even if you had the same number.”
“I wasn’t sure I was going to call you back either, honestly. Is everything ok?” I hoped he was ok… Even if everything seemed fine with that girl from the wedding. (Yes, that was meant to sound bitter.)
“Everything is fine here. No worries. I was actually calling because I was concerned about you.”
“Me? Why?”
“Matt.”
Odd, but I took the bait. “I repeat, why?”
“Sam, he hurt you. A lot. I just wanted to make sure you want to go down that road again. I know it is not any of my business but a part of me will always care and I just want to make sure you are making a good decision.”
I was not sure I was making a good decision but I would be damned if I would admit that to Danny. I was also staring at the phone with the most confused look on my face. This was probably the oddest conversation I have had in a long time. (Which says a lot because I have had many a stranger conversation after a few glasses of Captain Morgan.) “Danny, I appreciate your concern. However, Matt and I have talked and we are taking things slow. He is a good guy, despite what happened. And I’m not really on such moral high ground that I should continue to hold that against him.” (Not that I really owed Danny an explanation about Matt.)
I heard him laugh. I am so glad he found my stupidity amusing. “Ok, Sam. As long as you know what you are doing. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
“I promise you, I am good.” I took a deep breath and asked him the question that had been burning in the back of my brain since I called him. “How’s Tim?”
I really was not sure I had the right to ask him that after everything that happened but I had to know. I hoped they had made amends, at least. Part of me was hoping they had so Tim would call me. I still really missed him, and not just because I still loved him. I missed his friendship. Actually, I probably missed his friendship the most. He was who I would have run to talk to about Matt.
I heard Danny sigh on the other end of the phone. I was not surprised. “He is doing well. He has been spending a lot of time on the Cape with Brian.”
“Oh, so you two are speaking?”
“Yeah, we kind of made up a couple weeks before Trinity’s wedding.”
“That’s great! I am glad you guys are talking again. No matter what happened, he does love you very much.”
“Yeah, I just can’t leave him alone with my girlfriend…” I did not know what to say. “It was a joke, Sam. I am kidding. Well, mostly kidding.
“I am sorry, Danny.”
“I know you are. I think we are passed apologizing now. I just wanted to check in on you. Take care, Sam.”
“You, too…” I stared at the phone for a few seconds before I started crying.
I had some time to kill before Matt came by and I called Rachel. I told her what had just transpired. “I’m coming over. Now,” she said. (In case you were wondering, Rachel hooked up with Derek’s friend Pete at the wedding and hit it off. She had been crashing at his place for a couple days and is heading back to PA tomorrow. He had moved to Worcester like a year or so ago, I think. I personally hoped this would work out for her. She deserved to be happy.)
What I swear was no more than two minutes later she knocked at the door.
The first thing out of her mouth was, “O-M-G! Danny really called you about Matt? That’s so weird!”
“Yes, I am aware of the strangeness factor.”
“So, what is going on with you and Matt? You looked awfully cozy at the wedding.”
“We are taking it slow. Seeing him again has made me realize I missed him. I missed how easy it was with him. Everything other than friendship was so difficult and complicated with Tim.”
“Hey!” she yelled. “What if Danny was calling to get the scoop for Tim?”
“That’s not really Tim’s style. Although, I am somewhat annoyed that they have been on speaking terms for a few weeks and he had not texted me until a couple days ago. He said he wanted to repair the damage with Danny, which he clearly has, before we could be anything. Obviously, he is in no hurry.” The more I talked about it, the angrier I was getting. “What took him so long to contact me? I probably ruined the best friendship I had because we could not keep our hands off each other!”
“Whoa, Sam. Easy.”
“Sorry, but it infuriates me knowing the major thing that held him back is not there anymore and he did not contact me ASAP.”
Rachel, who was not usually the voice of reason, kindly pointed out that I was dating Matt. I shot daggers at
her. She put her hands up, “I only speak the truth.”
“I know. I am glad Matt and I are trying again. But it doesn’t make it hurt less.” I looked at the clock. “Anyway, I have a hot date to get ready for,” I smiled.
I was able to get my homework done and make myself presentable just in time for Matt to pick me up at six. He had texted me to dress casual but gave no other indication as to where we were headed.
When I opened the door, he was actually holding flowers. Dork. “Daisies? Cheater,” I said. A weird look crossed his face and I realized that was probably a bad word choice. “Anyway, let me put them in water and we can go to wherever it is we’re going. You know, surprises need trust and this is only our first date. You’re lucky Derek told me you were a good guy,” I teased.
“Well, I will have to thank him then. You may want to bring a sweatshirt, too.” I looked at my outfit; cute top, skinny jeans, sexy boots (courtesy of Trinity’s closet)… a sweatshirt definitely does not go.
“Um, are we having dinner in an igloo?”
“Suit yourself, but still not telling you.”
“Ugh, fine.” I grabbed a sweater anyway. I saw him pull out a scarf. “What’s that for?”
“To cover your eyes.”
“Seriously? Aren’t you going a bit overboard here?”
“Don’t you trust me?” Well that was a loaded question. “Never mind. Turn around.” I complied even though my better judgment said no. (Because I listen to that ALL the time.) Curiosity was winning; too bad it killed a cat.
I tried to figure out the destination but he took many turns. In case anyone was wondering, he still drove the BMW. Sigh. We finally stopped and he let me take off the blindfold. Oh my God. He really was not playing fair. I was speechless.
“I wanted to show you my favorite place in the city. During college, I would always come here to think.” Yeah, we were at that spot behind the football field. He had blankets set up and little lights. “Coach helped me with the lighting.” He opened my door and grabbed a picnic basket from the trunk. I was having some serious déjà vu. What the fuck?
“You really are trying to start over, huh?” I could not believe he brought me here.
“Yes. We were good together, Sam. We were right. Everything was right from the moment I met you your freshman year. Everything in my world made sense. I have not stopped loving you.”
Well then, what does a girl say to that? “I still need to think a lot of things over. Can we just have a nice dinner?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. He had brought blankets and a thermos full of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. He really was trying. I thought about the text from Tim that I had not yet returned. I had not heard from him in months and unexpectedly I get a text. I was not sure how I felt about it and I had not time to think about it fully. (Well, that was not true. I was pissed at him for not calling or texting me sooner. Also, I did not think now was a good time to ponder it either.)
Matt and I talked some more about what we had been up to and called it a night about ten because it was getting cold. He was a gentleman and just gave me a kiss when he dropped me off. My body apparently did not know we were taking it slow because I had to keep myself in check. Bad hormones.
I went straight to bed when I got in because I was so exhausted from the weekend. I decided I would deal with the Tim situation in the morning.
To reply or not to reply. That was the question. I had been holding my phone for about an hour, not knowing what exactly to say. “Ok, Sam, you can do this,” I said trying to give myself a mini-pep talk. I dialed Tim’s number praying for voicemail. No such luck.
“Hello?” came the familiar voice. Why did I not just text him, idiot?
“Hi,” I tried my best to sound calm; meanwhile, my whole body was shaking.
“Sam, I’m glad you called.”
“How have you been?”
“Ok,” he said. “Listen, do you have plans tonight? Can I see you?”
“Did Danny tell you he saw me?” There was no other way he would know I was in Worcester. Unless… “You’re not in Pennsylvania, are you?”
“No, I’m in Worcester. I’m staying with Trent for a few days.”
Hmm, he just happened to be in town the same time I was. Interesting. “Oh, I see.”
“Will you meet me at the pool hall tonight?”
“Isn’t it closed tonight?” Yeah, because that was the question I should be asking.
He laughed. “I think the owner can make an exception.” (Duh, Sam, he was the owner.)
“When?” I asked.
“Eight?”
“Ok, I will be there.” We hung up and two seconds later, Matt called.
“Hey, beautiful. Sleep well?”
“Um, yeah, ok. You?”
“Mm hmm. Are you busy later? I was thinking of seeing that new J. J. Abrahams’ movie.”
“Actually, I can’t today. I have other plans.” I could tell by his hesitation that I had surprised him. I had not planned to even stay the week so why would I have other plans and why would he assume I would make other plans.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, an old friend called and we both happened to in town so…”
“Ok,” he said. “Well, tomorrow then?”
“Definitely.” We hung up and I went into panic mode. What was I doing?
I had not expected Tim to call. Yes, I wanted him to call. I wanted him to call badly. I had not expected in a million years to reconnect with Matt. I also did not know why Tim is here and I knew why Matt was. Matt was right about one thing, though, we were good together until the incident. Tim and I do not really have anything solid to hold on to. We had different histories.
I pulled up to the pool hall about five of eight. I guess for once in my life I would be a little early. I was practically hyperventilating by the time I walked to the door. Tim saw me coming and unlocked the door. “Hey.”
“Hey”, he said. I have absolutely no idea what direction this was going to go and it terrified me.
“So….” I shifted my feet.
“Come sit with me, Sam. We need to talk.” Apparently, everyone wanted to have talks with me lately.
“Ok.”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Anywhere is good.”
“Danny told me he saw you at the wedding.” He paused. “He said you were there with Matt.”
I was not sure he was owed an explanation, but I supplied one anyway. “Yes and no.” I told him what happened when I met up with Danny at the wedding. “So, Matt was just trying to save my dignity.”
Tim looked like he was pondering the information. “Interesting. Well, I suppose that was nice of him.”
“Yeah, it was.” Ok, what was going on? “Why are you here, Tim?”
He looked a little taken aback. “I came to see you. I miss you.”
How long had I waited to talk to him? It seemed like forever. With Matt in the picture, I was so confused. I sighed. “I miss you, too.” I did.
“Look, I know we’ve had something really complicated, but it was also something good. I miss you. I miss us. Most of all, I miss us being friends.” He grabbed my hand. “I need you in my life, Sam, even if it is only as a friend.”
Oh, how I have missed talking to him. “I need you, too, Tim.” He smiled. “But I think, right now, it needs to be as a friend.” There went the smile. “I need to get everything straight with my life right now and I’m afraid starting something with you would complicate it.”
“Ok, I understand. I do. Something is better than nothing. You are my best friend and I have missed that.”
“Me, too.”
“So, what’s been going on with you, Samantha Rayne?”
We talked about school, work, and all the little things in between. What I was not sure of was if I should fill him in on was Matt. I figured telling him would be the nicer option, but definitely not the easiest. “There’s just one more thing…. I did s
tart dating Matt again.” I waited for his reaction.
He blinked. Was he mad? Annoyed? Happy? I could not read his expression. Finally, he spoke. “Ok. If that is what makes you happy.” Really??? I had hoped for some sort of reaction. Jealousy, maybe?
I wanted to scream at him that HE was the one who made me happy. That he was the one I wanted. But I could not do it. “Yeah, I’m happy,” was all I could muster.
“Good.”
I fiddled with my purse. “I should go. Promise me we will stay in touch?”
“Yes”
“Promise me.”
“Sam, we will stay in touch. I meant what I said; I’ve missed being your friend.”
“Ok. I will talk to you soon, I hope.” I was not sure if he would keep his promise after the Matt bombshell. Nevertheless, I hoped he would.
Chapter 19
* * *
It was still early when I got home and I debated calling Matt. I was not sure if seeing him would help or confuse me anymore. I truly did not want to complicate my life anymore and I think adding Tim into the mix, romantically, would screw me up. (And I was aware I was pretty screwed up already.) Against my better judgment, I called Matt and asked if I could come over. Of course, he said yes.
“Hey, is everything ok? I thought you were meeting up with a friend?”
“I did, but it was quick and I wanted to see you,” I smiled. It was true. I did want to see Matt. Maybe that would clear my head.
It was his turn to smile. “I’m glad you called. I was just doing some drawings for class.”
“I want to see!” He really was talented. I was glad he went back for art classes.
Matt led me to his spare room where I saw many drawings laid out. “Matt, these are great!” I picked one up off his drawing board. “Is this what I think it is?”
He blushed a little. “Yes, it’s our spot.”
“It’s gorgeous.”
“Take it. I want you to have it.”
“Really? I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Do you still have the first picture I drew?”
“Yes, I do,” I said. “I love that picture.”
Girl in the White Dress: Sam's Story Page 13