“Good. That makes me happy.” He looked at the time. “Do you want to stay?”
“As in sleep over? I said no sex, Matt, and I meant it.”
“I know, I literally mean sleep over. It’s getting late and I don’t have class until noon.”
I silently debated his offer. It was getting late and I really did not feel like driving home. Eh, why not? “Ok, but no funny business, mister!”
“Deal.” He looked rather pleased with himself.
* * *
The next few days with Matt were great. I had not heard from Tim yet, but that was ok. Honestly, I had started to think that separating myself from Tim was a good thing. I was not so blah all the time. I had actually allowed myself to be happy the last couple of days, and if I was truly being honest with myself, Matt was a big part of that happiness. This was so not where I saw myself at this point in my life. I was heading back to Pennsylvania in a couple days and I still was not quite sure where this Matt thing was going.
I finished my assignments and puttered around Trinity’s apartment for a while. (I had kind of made a big of a mess that I did not think she would appreciate coming home to.) I heard a knock on the door. It was Matt. “Hey, sexy. What are you up to today?” he asked.
“Honestly, nothing.”
“Good. Grab a jacket. I’m taking you out.”
“To where?”
“It’s a surprise.” At what point does a person have enough surprises? I must be a sucker because I heard myself say ok.
I was glad I had gone out with Matt. It was the by far the best day I had in a long time. We went out for lunch, played mini golf (I won), went for a walk in the park, and ended the day with take out from Blue Bird and a movie at Matt’s apartment. Of course, we missed half the movie because we were making out on the couch, but that was beside the point.
“Sam,” he said once he managed to pull away. “As much as I love this, what are we doing?”
“I’m pretty sure we’re making out on the couch.”
“Well thank you, captain obvious. But I meant, where is this going?”
“I could think of a good place,” I winked.
“I’m serious, Sam.”
“I know.” So much for avoiding the inevitable. I thought for a moment before I answered him. Tim had texted me that morning asking how I was doing; I had not replied yet. As much as I wanted to be friends with Tim and have him in my life, it did not feel right anymore. Maybe some people are meant to come into your life for a reason and when that reason was done, they left. I did love him but the entire time he was in my life everything was so damned complicated. I was sick and tired of complicated.
“I’m just going to put it out there, Sam. I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I do not think I’ll ever stop loving you.” I started to interrupt and he put his hand up. “Let me finish, please.” I nodded.
“I don’t want to rehash this over and over so I’m just going to say it once. I screwed up, I know that. It was stupid and I probably ruined what was the best thing in my life. I am not the same man I was and I hope you see that. I want to be in your life and I want you to want to be in mine. It would break my heart to know that after this week, it is over. Can we really try again?”
He looked at me waiting for my response. It was now or never. This seemed to be the turning point in my life. Did I choose the safe route or the unknown? After seeing Tim the other day, I had my doubts. It was awkward and I was not sure why. After seeing Matt again, it was almost as if nothing had changed. Except me. I was not angry or confused (as confused, anyway). I was not drinking (that much). I did not mope around and wallow in self-pity. I was happy. Matt made me happy. It was as if a light bulb went off. Matt made me happy. It was as simple as that. He did not make me doubt myself or keep me wondering. He made me feel special and loved. Wow, ok. I have had an epiphany.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes. We can try again. I want to try again. I want to be us again.”
He actually looked surprised. “Are you serious?”
“I am one hundred percent serious.” He picked me up and spun me around the room. I was not quite expecting that response.
“Wait,” he said.
“What?”
“You live in Pennsylvania.”
“I live in Pennsylvania.” Somehow, that had slipped my mind. Did I want to move back to Worcester because of Matt?
“Yeah…”
I thought for a minute. “Wait, this is going to sound crazy more than likely, but I’m done with school soon and there are plenty of elementary schools in Worcester County…”
“You would do that? You would come back here for me?”
“I would come back here for us,” I said. “I think we can make this work that is if you really want it to.”
“Sam, there is nothing that I want more.” With that, he kissed me. I could not believe it took me so long to make up my damn mind but I finally did. (Just in case you were wondering, the no sex thing was called off that night. Hey, no judging. It was not as if it was our first time.)
The next morning, I texted Tim. I told him that I did miss him being my friend, but I was afraid that with him in my life it could only complicate things. I told him that Matt and I were starting over and that I believed he had really changed. I also told him that I could not really hold Matt as accountable for cheating on me when I had done the same thing to Danny. While I believed what we had was real, it was supposed to be easy and our “thing” was anything but easy. I told him he would always have a special place in my heart. I wished him a happy life and that we would always be friends.
It probably was not what he was looking for, but I was finally happy and I had to do what was best for me and stop worrying about everyone else.
Chapter 20
* * *
The next couple of months went by somewhat quickly. My parents got married again. That was an interesting affair. My parents were crazy. I had accepted that fact.
They had grown to love Matt. My mom knew something happened before but I had never told her what. No point in rocking the boat now. She and my dad were just glad that I was happy again.
I finished school and moved back to Worcester. Trinity and Derek allowed me to crash with them for a little while but with the baby on her way (I was going to be an Auntie!), I was anxious to find my own place. That search did not last long, though. I was always at Matt’s apartment anyway, it seemed logical I just move into his apartment. It really made no sense for me to pay rent somewhere else. (No, we did not move too fast, if that was what you were thinking. We had history.) I had gotten a position at Foster School where I had interned and would start in the fall. The pessimist in me was waiting for something to crash.
On the contrary, I had come home one night to rose petals on the floor and music playing. My first thought was, “what the hell?” Then Matt came out looking all sexy in a tie and button down shirt. (This was not a usual look for him.) I gave him a quizzical look.
“Just come with me,” he said. He led me into the spare room that he draws in. Drawn out on the easel was the two of us sitting in our spot. The caption on the picture read, “Where two found love and became one. Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Anderson.”
I blinked a few times and stared at the drawing. When I turned around to Matt, he was on his knee. Oh my God, this was really happening?
“Samantha Rayne, I love you. I promise to always love you. As cliché as this sounds, will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive? Marry me?” He pulled out a ring and I was stunned. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It looked like a lily. Just like the drawing he had given me so long ago. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Damn, I did not want to be that girl. Too late, they started to fall down my face.
“Sam?” I realized I have not actually answered him yet.
“Yes.”
He stood up. “Yes?”
“Yes, I will marry you, Matthew Anderson. I
love you. I cannot imagine my life without you in it.”
Epilogue
* * *
As I walked down the aisle, I saw Matt looking down towards me. He had a huge smile on his face and tears in his eyes. I could not be any happier than I was at that moment. Rachel and Trinity were already at the altar and Trinity’s little girl, Paige, was the cutest flower girl ever. Of course, since she was only two, Trinity walked down the aisle with her.
I could not imagine my life without any of these people in it. All the crazy twists and turns in my life brought me to this wonderful day with all these wonderful, amazing people in it. Matt was the love of my life. And while Tim would always hold a small piece of my heart, I knew this was right where I should be.
Tim had tried to contact me a few times. He had found out through Danny (because of Trinity he knew what was going on with me) that Matt and I were getting married. The last text I got from him was I hope you will be happy. Always – Tim. I did reply to that one text, always. I knew it would be the last time I heard from him and that was ok now. It was far too complex a situation and I was happy now.
Matt earned his art degree and was now an art teacher at a different elementary school, as well as the football coach for WSC. Life could not be any better. I could finally say I loved my life. (Oh, and do not tell anyone, but in nine months there will be a little Anderson running around. Shhh!)
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Girl in the White Dress: Sam's Story Page 14