by T. Styles
The first thing I did was asked Fortune to watch Pickles. He liked hanging with her because she was good to him and he liked her dog, Leave Me Alone. After he was set I washed my face with some fresh bottled water, and then I set out to my first gig— collecting cans. I was excited the night before when Spirit and me went over the plan. If all I had to do was go through some trashcans to get some dough it wouldn’t be a problem. I was focused.
We started dumping trashcans at seven o’clock in the morning and didn’t finish until seven o’clock that night. I was tired and my feet ached so badly that when I was done I took my shoes off and my feet had swollen up so big I couldn’t put them back on. The next morning we went to turn the bags of cans into the recycling company and I was fucked up when I saw what he was trying to pay me.
“What the fuck is this?” I asked the older Latino man behind the counter. Mad MaXXX along with Everest stood behind me looking just as confused.
“Money,” he said rolling his eyes. “What the fuck it look like?”
“But we gave you five bags of cans,” I told him while leaning on the counter. “I know you not trying to play me with one buck and some coins! You better come better than this shit.”
“If that’s what you call it, so be it.”
I felt my face heat up. “I know one thing, you better give me the rest of my money.”
“And if I don’t?” he laughed. “Just what the fuck you plan to do little dyke?”
I looked back at my friends. “Please don’t,” Spirit whispered.
I guess he could tell by looking in my eyes that I was about to go for it. When the dude looked behind him and turned around, I stole him in the nose.
“You dyke bitch,” he yelled trying to chase me. “I’m going to kill you!”
He really tried to catch me but it wasn’t happening because I was already gone. I was so quick I left the money on the counter for the cans. FUCK! I know one thing; I’m done with that job.
After the Can Gig didn’t go as planned I got fifteen CD’s from a West Winger who was selling them for a dollar a piece. Spirit fronted me the money and I knew the job would be easy because they were already packaged and were from popular artists. We figured that although we bought them for a buck each, since we could sell them each for $10.00 we would make $150 if we stayed on our grind.
The shit worked too. Not only did we move them all, we did the shit in one day. When we got done we bought a bottle of liquor and ordered some pizzas. With the change I had left over I paid Spirit back and was able to get Pickles some new clothes and tennis shoes, which he always lost because he hated his toes covered. I was also able to get a case of water, some sheets and some more soap. I even gave Fierce a few bucks so that he would have some money for his meds. Just because I lived underground didn’t mean I wanted to live nasty either.
We were up all night kicking it and I was feeling so good I even gave Gage and Everest eye contact even though I didn’t speak to them. Shit was cool until the next day.
When we went back on the block I was told by three different people that some dudes were looking for us. I was chilling on the wall of the Korean store when an older white lady with a mean face came at me like she wanted to kill me.
She was wearing a red dress and a white baseball cap. I’m not sure how old she was but if I had to guess I’d say 65, give or take a gray hair.
“You the one that was selling them CD’s the other day right?” she asked nicely even though she was frowning.
“Yeah,” I said before looking back at Mad MaXXX who was leaning against the brick wall posing. Spirit shrugged, I guess not knowing where she was going with her line of questioning. “Why you asking?”
“Well I bought the TD Jakes CD from you. You remember that shit?”
“Oh yeah, I remember.” I smiled. “I had a couple of those. I’m sold out now though. You wanted another one for someone else or something?”
She opened her mouth and a glob of warm hock spit came flying out and in my direction. It landed on my left eye and dampened my eyelash.
“The CD you gave me was blank, bitch! Take that!”
When she was done she stomped away. It took everything in my power not to yoke her, and punch her in the face.
I was mad as fuck while I wiped that shit off my eye. Mad MaXXX thought the shit was funny, while they spread out on the ground laughing. I punched the wall and almost broke my hand.
Later on that night I tried to catch up with the West Winger who sold me them fake CD’s but he didn’t come back to The Catacombs. I better never see him again that’s for sure.
The next hustle we picked up was selling some girl socks we found in the trashcan of this department store that burned down a week earlier. They were pink and yellow with red hearts all over them. They were a little smoky smelling, but since they were putting them on their feet I didn’t think it would be a problem.
I thought wrong. We spent the following night outside of the Korean store trying to sell just one pack of socks but people would look at us, roll their eyes and keep walking. Like we had them joints on our feet or something. In the end we got no love.
Frustrated, Gage threw the socks to the ground that were sitting inside of a white bucket, flipped the bucket over and started beating on top of it with her hands. I was surprised that she had a rhythm to her flow. If you closed your eyes she sounded like she was playing a drum.
Getting into mode, WB grabbed the two empty soda cans we were using earlier and started scraping them across the brick wall. In my opinion the shit started sounding real slick and went with Gage’s drum sound. That’s when Fierce started making this base noise from his mouth. It sounded like beat boxing but deeper. Everest got out in front of us and started dancing and that’s when I saw how beautiful she really was. I knew even more in that moment that I had to stay away from her. She would be trouble for my heart, and I wasn’t trying to risk it.
With everybody else in on the show. I started singing the lyrics of a song that always stuck in my head. I never sang before because I didn’t have anything to sing about but the song reminded me of when my ex-girl Passion begged to be back with me and I didn’t give her a chance. So I closed my eyes and let the lyrics flow.
I left my girl back home…
I don’t love her no more…
But she’ll never fucking know that….
These fucking eyes that I’m staring at…
The song was called Wicked Games by a cat name The Weekend. I felt the lyrics to this song on a deep level, and I couldn’t explain why.
I sang the whole song and when I opened my eyes after finishing, I noticed it was quiet and Mad MaXXX was staring at me. Did I do that bad? What really fucked me up was that we had a crowd of people around us, and the ground was littered with dollar bills. They literally sat at my feet and laid against my ankles. I zoned out and I didn’t know what was happening around me.
A bunch of strangers gave me a round of applause and I almost shitted on myself when I saw a cop clapping too. Instead of recognizing me, he dropped a ten-dollar bill and walked off.
When the cop disappeared down the block I said, “What happen?” I took one last look to be sure he wasn’t coming back.
“Mad, why you ain’t tell us you could sing?” Spirit asked. “You killed it!”
“Because I can’t.” I frowned.
“Well you better tell your voice that shit because it don’t know.”
****
We were in Spirit’s place, drinking Hennessey and eating Popeye’s Chicken. We made one hundred and seventy seven dollars that night. We divided the cash up and after they told me how good I sang, which I didn’t want to keep hearing, Everest jumped up to take the mike. I was just getting ready to like the bitch again.
“…And really Rome is much more beautiful than China,” Everest said while she stood in the middle of the floor. “You all have to see it.”
We weren’t even talking about Rome.
“You
been to Rome?” Gage asked as she stared at her as if she were the Statue of Liberty. “Was it as spectacular as in my dreams?”
“Better. I kissed the ground of the coliseum and everything. I will never forget it in my life.” She would look at me every time she’d say something. I guess because she was trying to impress me even though I wasn’t buying her shit. Why she got to be so extra? One minute she would be cool, and the next minute she was annoying.
“So what about China,” Spirit asked. “How did it look when you went? Because I always wanted to know about that side of my family, but I never had an opportunity to go.”
Her eyes lit up. “You’d love it, Spirit. It’s very crowded but…”
I decided that I had enough of her mouth so I walked out. I went to The Pit and drank my Hennessey in peace. Fifteen minutes later she came outside with me. In my heart I knew she would do it.
“You don’t believe me do you? That I went to the places I claimed I’d been? You can tell me, I can take it.”
I stared at the fire. “Even if I don’t believe you why should you care? You don’t owe me nothing, shawty.” I took another swig of Hennessey.
“Mad, I’m really a nice person if you would just get to know me. I just wish I could do something to convince you of that.”
I laughed.” It don’t matter if you a nice person or not because like I said, I’m not interested in you or your fake ass adventures. Now kick rocks, I’m thinking right now and you blowing me.”
She whipped out something small and blue from her back pocket. It had gold letters on the front and she handed it to me. “That’s my passport. If you don’t believe me look inside of it.”
Curious I flipped through the first page.
“Read all of the stamps, Mad,” she continued. “They’ll show you where I’ve been. I’m not lying.”
I looked down at the thing in my hand and it could’ve been in Greek because I couldn’t read too well. The only word I knew was China. “Here, I don’t want this shit.” I tried to hand it back to her but she wouldn’t accept it.
“No, I want you to read it first,” she smiled.
“I said no,” I yelled. “Now stepped the fuck off, because you bothering me!” I dropped it on the ground.
She looked at me crazily at first, and then her facial expression softened. “You can’t read can you?”
My scalp felt like it tightened and my temples throbbed. This was beyond embarrassing. “That’s your fucking problem. You don’t know what to say out your mouth. But I’m warning you to stay the fuck away from me,” I pointed in her face. “I once hurt a girl just like you for similar shit and she ain’t on the earth anymore.” I walked away.
CHAPTER 14
MAD
We decided to have a barbeque because despite the beating they put on him, Old Man Young had returned. The fucked up part is I’m not in the mood to celebrate. Somebody stole some shit out of my cubby and I knew it was Wicked. The dude had been extra quiet lately and it wasn’t like him not to say something at least once each day. The worst part about it was that I needed the money to get Pickles some cold medicine since he was sick. I guess the damp temperature in The Catacombs finally caught up with him.
The thievery shit messed my head up and I was looking for the right time to go on my own again up top, like I usually did whenever I got in this mood. The only thing was that now I had Pickles, and people got so use to me looking after him, that I had to care for him solo. Pickles really doesn’t like when I bounce.
The other day I was gone for one day and when I came back they told me how he was crying nonstop, thinking that I wasn’t going to come back like his parents. I don’t want to be responsible for his heart.
To make shit wetter last night I had a dream about my mother. She was standing in the kitchen with a blank look on her face. On the counter next to the stove where she stood was a big green lizard with red eyes. He kept staring at me like he wanted to kill me. There was also a pan on the stove, and inside of it was a whole apple.
I was sitting at the table where two cracked eggs sat in front of me. And when I looked down at the floor maple syrup was everywhere.
I don’t know what the dream was about, but it fucked with my head, and all I wanted was some Hennessey to get her out of my mind. But since my money was stolen, and the group cash we stashed needed to be shared with six to seven people, I was broke.
I decided to go to my room, but first I walked over to Old Man Young’s cubby. I needed to kick it with him for a second in private before the party. “I’m glad you’re back, man,” I said when I saw him sitting on his bed reading a book. A black eye patch covered the place where one of his eyes use to be.
“Thank you,” he said looking up at me. “Are you okay?” he slammed the book closed and placed it down next to him. “You seem troubled.”
I pulled my cap down, and stuffed my hands into my jean pockets. “It’s nothing I can’t work out. Anyway this day is about you.”
“It wasn’t the first time I was beaten within every inch of my life, and it probably won’t be the last.”
I thought about what he said earlier, when he first got back. He said he forgave the dudes that beat him and that it was more important to move on with his life, and I couldn’t get with that. It seemed weak to me. “How come you acting like it never happened? Like them niggas never banked your ass. I don’t get it.”
“Because I refuse to let them take anymore of my time. I’m alive, and it must mean God has work for me to do. And I’m going to do it.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
“For some,” he smiled. “But not for me. You see when you hold onto hate for so long, it does more damage to you than anybody else physically. It eats at your insides, and that’s how you find yourself with cancers and all other kinds of things you can’t explain.”
“But you got cirrhosis of the liver,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but I know how I got it too. That was from good old fashion liquor drinking. I’m talking about people who find themselves with cancer and other illnesses they can’t explain. The way I live life is like this. I don’t stress over anything I can’t change. And even though I got cirrhosis, I’m not dead yet and I contribute that to my positive outlook on life.”
If you ask me he sounded dumb but I didn’t tell him that. If somebody would’ve done some shit like that to me, I would want them dead and I would make sure it happened too. “That’s good to hear,” I said sarcastically, “I’ll rap to you later.”
After saying goodbye I walked toward my room. I guess it was a good thing Gage put me out because now I could spend some time alone to figure things out. Well, at least that’s what I wanted to do until I heard Pickle’s feet slapping behind me.
When we made it to my room I climbed into bed, wanting to get some sleep. But Pickles picked up his book like he was about to read me a story again.
“Not now, lil man. I want to get some rest.”
He coughed. “But I wanted to read—”
“Lil man, go back out to The Pit if you want to read,” I said louder. “Right now I want to be alone.”
He dropped his book and stormed out. I felt bad but I’m being real with him. I was about to go to sleep until WB walked in. “You got a second, man?”
I sighed. “Not really. I just wanted to—”
“I’m thinking about detoxing, Mad, and I don’t know what to do.” He sat on the only chair I had.
I sat up and looked over at him. I figured if I spoke to him he would leave me alone. “So what’s the problem? Go detox.”
“I don’t want to leave ya’ll behind. And what if I’m a different person when I get back? You know? Or what if ya’ll not here no more and I don’t have anything to return to?”
“WB, you gotta do what’s good for you.” I tugged my cap. “If you got a chance to kick your habit you should go ahead and do it, man. I mean, I would give up this bottle in a minute.”
“You wo
uld?”
“I would.”
“So why don’t you do it?”
That was a serious question I didn’t give a lot of thought to before I said it. Even with Old Man Young telling me that I should cut some shit back because of my urinary tract, in my mind he didn’t know what he was talking about. I liked my liquor and that was the bottom line. I wasn’t like him. I just wanted to drink because I could.
“Because I don’t want to,” I told him. “But look, man, I’m about to get some sleep. Do me a favor, Pickles is mad with me right now. Can you keep an eye on him while he’s out there?”
“You know I got him.”
He gave me some dap and walked out. I was just about to shut my eyes again when I felt somebody else in my room. The presence was so dark it scared me. When I turned around I was looking at Wicked. And the look he gave me could kill.
CHAPTER 15
MAD
See this is the kind of shit that made me hate this dude. Instead of leaving me the fuck alone he gotta pull ignorant moves. I’m in my room trying to get some sleep, when out of the blue Wicked comes in claiming I stole his money. He even had some West Wingers with him that said they saw me walk out of his room. And because I left The Pit early and didn’t have anybody but WB to vouch for me it looked bad.
And now I’m standing in front of Old Man Young and The Parable trying to prove my innocence. I swear if I had somewhere else to go I wouldn’t care. The problem with Wicked lying was that if they found me guilty, then I could be asked to leave. Although The Catacombs belonged to no one, they would make shit hard for anybody who stayed against their will.