The Mutation Breakdown

by E S Richards

  Soon the fire was burning brightly and the three of them sat around it while Cain set to work preparing the geranthiams for his healing liquid. Zahyra watched closely as Cain stripped the flowers from the heads of the geranthiams and dropped them into his water bottle, shaking it up to mix together the contents. He then produced a small pot from his bag, which she assumed he’d taken from the scout hut and poured the contents in before placing the pot on top of the fire.

  “Do you two want to camp here?” Cain asked, “Or keep walking until we find shelter?”

  “How much further is it to a shelter?” Asher asked quietly as he watched Cain stir the pot. The mixture had a beautiful smell of fresh flowers and his mouth was watering from it, although unfortunately he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to drink any.

  “I’m not too sure in the dark,” Cain replied, squinting into their surroundings, “another couple hours perhaps?”

  “We should probably camp here,” Zahyra cut in, “I don’t want to be travelling places we’re not familiar with in the dark.”

  “Roger that,” Cain gave her a mock salute and reached forward to remove his water from the fire, “you’re probably right.”

  Zahyra blushed red at Cain’s response, taking his salute as a light bit of teasing. Luckily in the darkness he didn’t notice her flush and turned his attention to pouring the water back into his bottle. He spilled some of it but did a fairly successful job in Zahyra’s opinion, although she didn’t mention that to him.

  She was glad he had agreed to let them camp where they were. She knew that if they were at the edge of the forest they couldn’t be far away from the city and if any mutants from there were nearby they were in trouble. She was terrified of going back into the city and walking the same streets where everything had happened.

  Zahyra also worried that returning to the city could cause Cain to break down again as she still didn’t completely understand what caused it. The only thing slightly pulling her towards the city was the playground she’d found and dreamt of bringing Asher back to, but she knew it probably wasn’t worth the risk.

  Cain suggested they should take a watch through the night and volunteered to take the first stint. Zahyra had mixed feelings about his suggestion, knowing they’d be safer if there was someone on watch but also knowing he had never felt the need to assign a watch overnight before. This made her worry that the mutants in the city were closer than she thought and whatever they would do to them if they caught them was a fate worse than death.

  The fire was allowed to die down to just a few embers to be less of a beacon for anyone else in the area and Zahyra lay down beside it, curling herself up around her brother who was between her and the fire. The night air was freezing without any buildings to protect them from the wind and Zahyra held onto her brother firmly to share his body heat. Cain was sat just a few metres away gazing out beyond the tree line to where Zahyra thought the city must be. He had said he would wake her in a couple of hours so she squeezed her eyes shut and willed her body to get some rest before she was awoken. The sounds of her brother’s breathing and the wind whistling through the trees serenading her to sleep faster than she’d anticipated.

  Chapter 25

  When Cain woke Zahyra for her watch she was surprised by how well rested she felt. She didn’t know how long she’d slept for as it was still pitch black outside but her body felt a lot better for the rest. She carefully peeled herself away from her little brother who was sleeping soundly and stood up to walk over to Cain who had once again retreated back to the watch post after he registered she was awake.

  “How’s it going?” Zahyra mumbled as she approached him, rubbing her eyes to try and wake herself up a bit more. Cain swivelled round to face her and she could see the gleam of his teeth as he smiled.

  “Nothing to report,” he said quietly, not wanting to wake up Asher, “oh aside from my foot feeling a lot better.”

  “That’s great,” Zahyra smiled and sat down next to him on the large broken tree branch. “How did you know about those plants by the way?”

  Cain shuffled nervously next to her for a moment before speaking.

  “My mum taught me,” he paused and Zahyra waited patiently for him to continue. “Her mutation was that she could heal herself, to some extent anyway. But she always tried to teach me and my brothers ways to use the land for its healing powers. A lot of them stuck with me because… well because of my mutation I injured myself a lot when I was younger. So it was in my best interest to remember really.”

  Zahyra listened carefully to Cain talking about his family. He’d only mentioned his brothers once before when he had to in order to explain how he knew about the camp, and she could tell he didn’t like speaking about his past. Still, now that she was alone with him and he was talking to her she wasn’t willing to let this opportunity pass.

  “Do you ever think about going back to your parents? You know, now some time has passed?”

  Cain didn’t reply to her for a long minute, then took a deep breath and stared out into the distance.

  “I think about it all the time, sure. But I just don’t know what I’d say. At least the way it is now they think all three of us are still alive,” he paused taking another deep breath, “I think that’s better for them, to still think we’re all out there somewhere. And besides… I feel like I’m better off alone.”

  Zahyra couldn’t imagine being so estranged from her whole family like Cain was. Although his situation was unique, she knew that now she had lost her father she valued her mother and brother even more. Losing Asher for just a short space of time had caused her so much anguish, living alone for the rest of her years would drive her insane.

  “You don’t have to be alone you know.” Zahyra said eventually, taking a deep breath of her own and deciding that it was now or never. She desperately wanted to have a talk with Cain about the two of them and for the first time in a couple of days the air between them didn’t feel frosty to her. He didn’t say anything in reply and so Zahyra moved her hand slowly from her lap onto his leg. They were sitting so close to each other she could feel the heat from his body and felt him twitch slightly at her touch.

  “Zahyra…” Cain spoke her name like he was about to tell her to move her hand or that he didn’t like her and she held her breath waiting for what was coming next. He didn’t finish his sentence however and instead left her name hanging in the air like an invitation. She didn’t know how to respond so just left her hand on his leg and waited out the awkward silence between them. After a moment Cain moved his own hand and threaded his fingers in between hers without saying a word.

  The sensation of Cain’s hand within hers made Zahyra smile, but her confusion peaked with the action. Unable to withstand the silence any longer she steeled herself for the possible heartache that was to follow and decided to formally address Cain about the two of them.

  “What’s going on with us?” She asked nervously, also staring off into the distance so she didn’t have to watch Cain’s face for answers. Another pause of silence followed her question.

  “This wouldn’t work,” Cain said with a sigh and Zahyra then turned her head to look at him.

  “Why? Why wouldn’t it?” She argued, her voice rising slightly then dipping again when she remembered her brother sleeping nearby.

  “Because I’m a mutant,” Cain replied quietly, “and I can’t control myself.”

  “I don’t care about that, I –”

  “Zahyra you don’t understand,” Cain cut her off. “To control my mutation I have to concentrate so hard, even now while I’m talking to you half of my mind has to focus on keeping the mutant inside of me asleep. When I’m with you and I start to feel… anything, it means I loosen the grasp I have on my mutation. All these feelings… warmth, compassion, desire… they distract me from myself. Don’t you realise that’s why I broke down last night? This wouldn’t work because when I’m with you I lose control of myself, I lose control of who I want to be and succ
umb to the monster within.”

  Zahyra sat stunned for a moment, replaying Cain’s words over in her head. He had admitted, although not officially, that he had feelings for her. That he felt desire towards her. At that moment Zahyra wanted to wrap her arms around him and kiss him, but the rest of his explanation forced her to remain still.

  He couldn’t feel for her without losing a bit of control over his mutation. She didn’t know how it worked but that sounded bad. Like if he gave into his feelings for her he would go insane and start wanting to kill her again. Her mind struggled with the severity of what Cain had told her and she tried to piece together something to say.

  “I had no idea,” was all she managed eventually and a deflated Cain loosened his grip on her hand in response.

  “Look,” he started to speak again, “all cards on the table I like you Zahyra. If I could go back to that first night in the scout hut and kiss you over and over again I would, but I can’t. I don’t know if you feel the same way too but if you do I’m sorry, because then I know this will hurt you even more. I don’t want to have to say this but I can’t be with you. I can’t be the man you need or the man you want. I just can’t.”

  At the end of his speech Cain fully released Zahyra’s hand and rose from the branch where they sat. She turned and watched him walk over to a nearby tree, rest his hands against the truck and lean forward, breathing deeply. She recognised this stance from when Cain was trying to stop a breakdown from happening and became rigid where she sat. If one conversation with her could do this to him then maybe he was right. Maybe they really couldn’t work things out between them.

  Cain eventually calmed down and shot Zahyra a fleeting glance as he walked back to the now extinguished campfire that Asher was still sleeping next to. She thought it looked like he mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to her as he walked away but she couldn’t be sure and to save tears from forming in her eyes she turned and stared out into the darkness.

  After a moment she let herself cry silently.

  She longed for her mother to be there so she could explain what she was feeling and accept some motherly advice. Knowing that Cain liked her and wanted to be with her filled her with overwhelming joy. Knowing that he thought back to their kiss in the scout hut just like she did filled her with a burning passion for him. She was hungry to feel his lips on hers again and to breathe in his scent.

  But the truth of what would happen if they were really together terrified her and she stared out into the distance wishing there was some way they could work things out but knowing in her heart there was little hope.

  The sun soon began to rise as Zahyra remained on watch and she realised Cain must have stayed awake for longer than his fair share of the night. Once there was enough light to see by Zahyra drew her knife from her waistband and wandered a bit deeper into the forest in search of something to eat.

  She quickly spotted a young rabbit and speared it with her blade on her first attempt, curling her hand into a fist in silent triumph. Picking the dead animal from the ground she was reminded of the way she saw Cain devouring a rabbit during his breakdown and shuddered, quickly putting the thought to the back of her mind.

  Her conversation with Cain still resonated in her ears as she set to work getting the fire going again and preparing the rabbit. Thankfully he was still asleep next to her brother as she sensed the conversation between the two of them would now become awkward.

  As she rigged a set of sticks to support the rabbit over the fire her little brother stirred and opened his eyes. Zahyra finished securing their meal before turning to him, his eyes already fixed on the rabbit in anticipation.

  “Morning bud,” she whispered in an attempt not to wake Cain up as well. Her attempt was futile however as Asher began loudly wiping dirt and leaves off his clothes that had accumulated in the night and Cain woke up to a soggy leaf flying onto his face.

  “Oops sorry,” Asher laughed when he saw what had happened to Cain and moved to stand around the other side of the fire next to Zahyra, who was slowly turning the rabbit to ensure it cooked evenly.

  “Nice catch,” Cain said as he noticed the food and pushed himself up to his feet. His eyes lingered on Zahyra’s for a second too long and she felt the blood start to rush to her cheeks as she looked away.

  “Thanks,” she muttered into the ground and then turned her attention back to her little brother, “how you doing?”

  Asher smiled and playfully puffed out his chest, “Never better,” he grinned and leaned forward in an attempt to rip off a piece of cooking flesh. Zahyra slapped his hand away from the flames.

  “At least wait until it’s cooked!” She exclaimed, “Why don’t you and Cain try to find some water?”

  Cain took her hint and grabbed Asher softly by the arm, “Come on little man, we’ve got our orders,” he smiled and led Asher further into the forest.

  Zahyra watched them go with curiosity. Her feelings for Cain were enough to deal with right now but what she really didn’t understand was the way Asher was acting. She hated that she still didn’t know what had happened in the camp but this morning he seemed so cheerful, like he’d never been away. She didn’t know whether he was acting out to impress Cain or whether it was some sort of coping mechanism that he had adapted. She vowed to watch him very carefully over the next few days and try on more than one occasion to get him to talk about his time in the camp.

  The two of them returned with water not long later and the rabbit finished cooking at round about the same time. They ate in silence – Zahyra and Cain due to the awkwardness between them, Asher because he didn’t have time to speak with all the food he was stuffing into his mouth.

  By the time they’d finished the sun was firmly in its place in the sky and they were sweating in their clothes. Asher had already removed his jacket and with a deep breath Zahyra did the same, exposing her Gen 1 ranking on her right arm. She hated not wearing sleeves but with them out in the open in this heat she was unable to bare it.

  After a moment Cain followed suit and Asher gasped as he saw the number four burnt into his skin. Asher of course knew that Cain was a Gen 4, Zahyra had explained it to him in the scout hut the day before, but he was still in awe of the fact a Gen 4 could be so close to him and seem so normal, so unlike any of the other highly developed mutants he’d witnessed in the camp.

  “We should get going,” Cain commented once it was clear the three of them were all done with their food. They packed their meagre belongings and set out away from the forest for what was hopefully the final time. A Gen 4, a ‘Gen 1’ and a Zero.

  After walking for an hour Zahyra looked around them and was confused by the lack of houses she could see. When she and Cain had exited the city the last time, they had walked through a few miles of suburban houses with nice gardens and open plan living areas. On this route there were a few big buildings but nothing that looked like houses, she was almost certain they had taken a wrong turn or were going a different way.

  “This isn’t the same path we took before,” she said after a while looking over at Cain, “shouldn’t we be heading towards the city to get back to your cabin?”

  “Not going back to my cabin,” Cain said matter-of-factly without looking at her or changing his pace. He was still walking with a slight limp but his foot was a thousand times better than it had been the night before, Zahyra was impressed at how fast the healing plants had worked.

  “Where are we going then?” She asked obtusely, if they weren’t returning to Cain’s cabin then she didn’t have a clue what was going on and she needed to make sure Asher was kept safe.

  “Safe haven,” Cain replied and Zahyra stopped in her tracks.

  “You know about the safe haven?”

  Cain was forced to stop walking as well as Asher had stopped beside his sister. He turned to look at them both and tried to keep the look on his face neutral.

  “That’s where you wanna go isn’t it? To find your mother?”

  “Well yeah,” Zahyra
started, “but I thought you’d need to return home first…”

  “No need.” Cain stated bluntly, “It’s quicker this way and I’ll get you guys there safe, I promise.”

  Zahyra marvelled at Cain. After their conversation last night she hadn’t been sure where their route would take them, but she had always imagined making the journey to the safe haven just with Asher. She knew Cain wouldn’t be allowed in because of his generation number and therefore she had just assumed he wouldn’t bother to make the journey.

  Now learning that he was accompanying them just to keep them safe Zahyra felt her heart open up to even more feelings of gratitude towards Cain. He really must care about me, she thought and tried to catch his eye. Cain however had looked away and began walking again, the material of his t-shirt already sticking to his back with sweat.

  Without having to walk through the city their journey became much more relaxed. The forest ran beside them to the left and provided some relief from the hot sun. The area in which they walked wasn’t quite desert, but it wasn’t quite woodlands either. Zahyra trudged on next to her brother, allowing him to walk in between herself and Cain. They didn’t speak much as they went, neither of them really sure what to say to one another so when they sat down for a rest just before midday it was left to Asher to fill the silence.

  He asked them both questions about the safe haven, what it was like and how many people lived there. Of course neither of them knew the answer so Asher was forced to use his imagination and painted a wonderful picture of families all living together in harmony. He told Cain he could live with their family, which resulted in his cheeks blushing red as he avoided Zahyra’s gaze. Neither of them had the heart to tell Asher that Cain wouldn’t be allowed to come in, his ranking too high to be deemed safe.