Missing You

by Shereen Vedam

  “Get dressed,” Brenda said. “I’m taking you out.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “We’ve things to talk about.” Her mother headed for the door. “Hurry up.”

  Phoebe glanced out the window and then winced. It was bright daylight. Her brain began ticking. Her mother was still speaking to her despite last night’s disaster. Even more shocking, she wanted them to spend time together. This was a rare opportunity she couldn’t afford to squander.

  Phoebe grabbed her cell phone and headed for the washroom. It was after ten and she’d missed three texts. All from Conroy. Yikes, she’d slept in and missed their breakfast meeting. She sent a quick apology for missing their appointment and asked to postpone until this afternoon.

  His terse, “Y,” suggested he was unhappy. Unfortunate, but unavoidable. Phoebe definitely wanted to hear from her mother before she spoke to Conroy again. Besides, she suspected all he intended was to talk her out of quitting. That wasn’t going to happen. If it was something else and urgent, he would have been at her bedside like her mother.

  She replied with, “WW.”

  When and Where they met next would hopefully be far from her family.

  Within ten minutes, they were on their way out the front door and her mother tossed Phoebe an apple. “Let’s shop before we settle to a full meal.”

  After battling heavy traffic due to construction, it was almost eleven by the time they arrived in the city center. Her mother drove around several blocks in search of a free parking space. The downtown core was crowded. It had been easier to infiltrate a house in Sri Lanka than to find a parking spot in town. They finally found a space on the roof of a six-level parking garage.

  Automatically, they took the stairs down, two at a time. When they noticed their matching pace, both slowed.

  Once on street level, Phoebe spotted her new office building two doors down. She held her mother back. “May I show you something near here?”

  Her mother nodded, looking curious.

  “This way.” Using her new key, Phoebe let them in.

  In no time, they were upstairs and her mother stared out the window at Morgan’s office across the street. She obviously recognized the significance of where Phoebe had brought her. “Why are we here?”

  Phoebe sat on the window ledge and explained her and Lenny’s plans. She wanted her mother to understand she was serious about moving back to HB, starting a new business, and having a relationship with Morgan. “This is our new office.”

  Her mother listened without saying a word, her gaze intent on Phoebe. In the end, Brenda nodded once. “You’re staying then. Good. Shall we go shopping now?”

  Deeply disappointed by that lackluster response, Phoebe locked up and followed her mother outside.

  “Let’s check out the clothing stores first,” her mother suggested. “I’d like to get something special to go out for dinner with your father tonight.”

  They tried on cocktail dresses, shoes and accessories. They walked side by side and talked about everything but her mother’s past or Phoebe’s future. She was the same size as her mother, well, maybe a smidgen taller. They even had the same taste in styles. Both liked dark striking colors with silver accents.

  This time with her mother was turning out to be nicer than Phoebe had expected. She hadn’t felt this content since before she left home.

  Could Conroy’s arrival have brought her and her mother closer? She’d assumed it would drive the wedge between them deeper, yet her mother seemed happy, too.

  Pleased with their purchases, they dropped off their bags at the car and by mid-afternoon, were seated in a Thai restaurant, eager for lunch. Phoebe was starving. They ordered three spicy dishes to share. The air infused with delightful scents made her mouth water, while the music reminded her of an assignment in Bangkok. She smiled, the exotic decorations making her nostalgic.

  “Takes you back, doesn’t it?” her mother asked.

  “Back where?”

  Brenda shrugged. “Somewhere in Thailand, China, Korea. Wherever you were assigned last in Asia. That’s what coming to a place like this does to me.”

  The waitress poured green tea and Phoebe took a sip, savoring the pungent flavor, and let the idea sink in that their real talk was about to begin. She carefully placed the blue and white decorated round porcelain cup back on the table. “Why didn’t you want me to take languages at university?”

  It was the question uppermost in Phoebe’s mind. Her decision to switch majors had torn their relationship apart.

  “Being able to speak different languages is a spy's best asset. I knew it would lead you straight to Conroy,” her mother said. “You were vulnerable after Johnny’s death. Conroy would use that. I’d envisioned a different life for you than the one I chose at your age.”

  “Did you hate it so much, Mom?” Phoebe asked.

  The waitress brought their meals and they sampled the selections.

  “I loved it,” her mother said

  Phoebe sat back, stunned. For as long as Phoebe could remember, her mother had been a housewife. How had she adjusted to such a sedentary life after the excitement of espionage? Especially if she had enjoyed it?

  “Excitement is like a drug, Phoebe, the more you get, the more you want. It alienates you from real feelings and emotions. I was lucky. I found David before I became too jaded to believe in love. What if you weren’t that lucky? I wanted you to be content, not live like an addict, moving from one assignment to the next, never realizing there’s more to life than duty to country. Never pausing to enjoy your life.”

  “I paused, Mom. That’s why I came home.”

  Brenda nodded. “I was worried. Morgan can be hurt easily. He won’t admit it, but he wears his heart on his sleeve.”

  “You think Janet’s more suited to him?”

  “She would stand by Morgan for the rest of his life. Can you say the same?”

  “I don’t know, Mom,” Phoebe looked away. “I would not intentionally hurt him.”

  “Certain of that, are you?” her mother asked.

  “You don’t trust me.”

  “I don’t trust Conroy. You don’t know the number of times he’s tried to trick me into returning to the field. He lost me. He’ll try harder with you.”

  “I can take care of myself, as can Morgan. I want to have a relationship with him. I don’t know where it might lead, but I want to find out.”

  Her mother pushed her plate away. “Then he needs to know what you do for a living.”

  “Did,” Phoebe said. “I plan to tell him after Conroy leaves. I don’t want any misunderstanding between us. Once I explain everything, Morgan will understand.” She smiled gently. “He already suspects I’m not into sourcing out quality shoes.”

  Brenda touched her hand. “If he’s anything like David, he will understand.”

  “Dad knows?” Phoebe said, surprised. “About you?”

  Her mother nodded and returned her attention to her meal. “Of course. He knows about Conroy, too. That’s why he reacted the way he did last night. Conroy can push David’s buttons.” She shook her head. “He plays on David’s worry that I regretted leaving the Company.”

  “Um, Mom, did you and Conroy ever...?”

  “Yes,” Brenda said. “I was young, and the work was thrilling. He did field assignments back then, with me. We practically set up the system of working out of embassies that they now take for granted. We traveled to exotic places, put our lives on the line, and during down times, we played.”

  Phoebe shifted in her chair. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined herself talking with her mother about one of her wild flings. Phoebe concentrated on eating, giving Brenda time to talk at her own pace, or not. So, her mother had been a spy, too. Explained why Janet couldn’t find anything about her past. The Company must have given her a new identity when she left.

  Was Brenda even her real name? Who was this woman? The question unsettled her as she recalled visiting a grave
yard once and her mother pointing out her grandparents’ plots. Were they even related to those two long dead people, or had they been random picks by her mother to satisfy a child’s curiosity?

  “Conroy was thoughtful,” her mother said, reeling back Phoebe’s attention. “Protective. In time, he grew over-protective. He wanted the last say on my assignments, on where I was stationed, with whom I worked. I’m stubborn.” She chuckled. “We know where you get that streak.”

  Phoebe grinned. Her dad sure wasn’t bull-headed. She may not know her extended family, but she was fairly certain of her immediate one: her parents, brothers and Grandfather Walter and Aunt Helen. That reminder brought her comfort.

  Lost in thought, her mother used her chopsticks to not only spear her food, but also occasionally express her heightened emotions by pointing them like a laser. “The more possessive Conroy became, the more I rebelled. When he was promoted, I thought, great. Now I can pick and choose what I want to do and we wouldn’t fight quite so often. Instead, it got worse. He’d gained the power to control what I did. We had a big blowout and I ended our relationship. He didn’t take it well. Conroy was convinced that once I cooled down, I would reconsider. I didn’t.”

  Phoebe listened to her mother’s tale with fascination. Random bits of information about Conroy suddenly made sense. It sounded as if her mother had never really been in love, but on his part, emotion had run deep. That explained his strict instructions to her about not getting personally involved with those she worked with. He’d said it would distract her at a crucial moment and could mean her life. He’d learned the lesson the hard way and tried to keep her from getting hurt. Maybe he did think of her as a daughter.

  “After one especially grueling assignment,” her mother continued, “I decided to take a break. I was driving along the west coast when I came down with a severe case of bronchitis. The GP I went to see referred me to a handsome Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.”

  “Dad,” Phoebe said, delighted with the story. “You fell in love.”

  Her mother nodded. “Instantly. Your dad was the gentlest man I’d ever met. Once he introduced me to Helen and Walter, there was no going back. I’d met the family I wanted. I don’t understand why David won’t believe I chose him.”

  “Could it be because you two are so different?”

  “I suppose.”

  Phoebe and Morgan were as different in temperament. Would he, too, find it hard to believe she could choose him over her past life?

  They finished their meal but neither felt ready to return home. Shopping had lost its appeal, so they went for a walk in the park. The bright sun was low on the horizon and the vibrant air was filled with laughter and chatter. Parents pushed kids on swings or they played catch. There were more strollers in this park than cars on the road.

  She checked her phone. No missed calls. She was growing uneasy at Conroy’s unusual silence. She’d missed their second appointment today after he came all the way to the west coast to see her. At the least, there should have been a blistering text on her phone. Something other than her misbehavior must have captured his attention. He oversaw many agents around the world. One of them probably needed his help.

  “Are you really happy to be home?” Her mother glanced at Phoebe as she tucked away her cell. “I haven’t made it easy for you.”

  A woman waved and called to Brenda. She waved back but kept walking.

  Phoebe was glad. This conversation was long overdue. “I’m sorry I got Aunt Helen into trouble.”

  Her mother laughed. “I know better. Your Aunt Helen got you into trouble.” At Phoebe’s surprised glance, she added, “I have lived with the woman for decades. I should know what she’s capable of. I’m just surprised you let her draw you in.”

  “Me, too. If I’m honest, I probably did it because she was the only one who seemed to want me involved in her life.” She looked at her boots, uncomfortable about having revealed so much. “I know it may sound bizarre, Mom, since I’m the one who left home and stayed away, but it felt good to feel needed by my family again.”

  Her mother turned her around until they faced each other. “We’ve all needed you every day you’ve been away.” She pulled Phoebe in for a fierce hug.

  Phoebe held on tight. She was finally home.

  It was after sunset by the time Phoebe and her mother returned to the house. David Clay welcomed them back with a big hug. Phoebe left her mother to catch up with her husband and headed upstairs. She hadn’t heard from Morgan all day either. Maybe Aunt Helen had news about his whereabouts. She wasn’t in her room and Grandfather Walter was asleep.

  She went out front, her route taking her to the hedge that bordered the Clay and Harrington properties. She could just see over it. The house next door was quiet. Night scents of spring blossoms and the chatter of sparrows filled the air.

  “You’ll get better results if you phone him,” Aunt Helen said from behind her.

  Phoebe spun around. “You’re back. I checked your room earlier and you weren’t in.”

  Aunt Helen shrugged. “Tucker wanted to choose paint colors for his cottage by the lake and asked me for a second opinion. He’s updating it. I’d been wondering why he was going there so often. Now we know.”

  Phoebe nodded, studying her aunt. “You and Tucker are getting along well. A new tactic?”

  “Such a suspicious mind, dear.” Aunt Helen smiled with mischief. “Maybe I’m being neighborly?”

  “With him? The man who laid charges against you for B&E and stole your cat? More to the point, why is he being friendly? What’s he after?”

  “Why did he take my cat?” Aunt Helen countered. “Yes, that thought has finally taken precedence in my mind as well. I’m beginning to think I don’t know Tucker Harrington at all. Anyway, you’re right. I have a new plan. Where stealth failed, maybe persuasion will win out.”

  “Aunt Helen!” Phoebe said. “Was Randy correct? Do you plan to seduce the poor man into revealing where he’s stashed your cat?”

  “It works on TV shows.”

  Phoebe laughed and hugged her aunt. “You’re priceless. I wish you the best of luck. Nothing personal, Aunt Helen, but I’m grateful I have nothing to do with this new plan.”

  They stood side by side, arms around each other and looked over the hedge, lost in their own thoughts.

  Phoebe’s cell rang, breaking the silence. She checked it, and when it displayed Conroy’s cheerful face, relief washed over her. “I have to take this,” she said, “excuse me.”

  She raced indoors and up to her room before clicking the green answer key. “Conroy?”

  “Matt’s been Aliced,” he said without preamble.

  Phoebe’s heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Her partner was missing in action. “Since when?”

  “News came this afternoon and I’ve been trying to dig up more information ever since. No time to explain. You need to get back to LKA now. I don’t have another agent who can speak the local language or knows the terrain well enough. I’m on my way to pick you up. If you value Matt’s life, you’ll come with me.”

  Her hand shook as she disconnected and pocketed her cell. Matt had a wife and a three-year-old daughter stateside. They must be frantic. Unless they didn’t know yet that Matt was MIA, Missing In Action. If so, she prayed they would never find out. They wouldn’t have to, if she found and brought him home safe. She frantically packed her few belongings into her knapsack.

  Come to the gallery, Johnny had said, so long ago. I need you. I can’t do this alone. Please, Phoeb. Help me out?

  I have to finish this assignment, Johnny. I can’t come now. It’s due tomorrow. Look, I promise, as soon as I’m done, I’ll be there. I just need a little more time.

  “Matt will not die,” she murmured. “He can't. I won’t let him. This can’t be happening again.”

  Phoebe slung her bag over her shoulder and then hesitated. She couldn’t leave without telling Lenny. She reached for her cell and dialed.

&
nbsp; “Yeah?” his sleepy voice said after the fifth ring.

  “It’s Phoebe.”

  Sheets rustled and something scraped. “Sorry, must have dozed off. What’s up?”

  “Lenny, I have to go away for a bit,” she said. “It’s to do with my work.”

  “What?” he said. “Why? You gave up your work.”

  “My partner’s in trouble.”

  “Can’t someone else go?” he asked. “You promised you’d stay this time.”

  “I’ll come back. I have to do this one thing and then it’ll be over for good.”

  He didn’t reply and she waited. Please be okay with this, Lenny. I need you to understand.

  “Don’t leave me again, Cuz,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Or take me with you?”

  Phoebe took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ll come back, Lenny. It’s a problem only I can solve.”

  “You said you’d be gone for just a little while after Johnny died. You needed time to yourself, you said. Well, I’m not waiting anymore. If you leave this time, don’t expect to find me waiting.”

  The line went dead.

  Phoebe’s sigh came out as a shudder. That didn’t sound good. Morgan could talk Lenny down. She had to tell him she was leaving, too. She checked her cell. Conroy would be here in ten minutes. She raced out her bedroom door, down the stairs and, brushing by Aunt Helen, bolted out the front door.

  Chapter 12

  Phoebe checked the time. It was after eleven. His grandfather might be asleep, but Morgan should still be awake. To keep her movements undetected, she entered by the Harrington’s back door. Housebreaking tools in hand, she slipped inside and headed for Morgan’s room without breaking stride. She knocked once.

  There was a scrambling noise inside and then Morgan opened the door. On seeing her, a welcome smile embraced his handsome face. “Thought you’d never get here.” He tugged her in and shut the door. “I planned on breaking into your place if you weren’t here in the next half hour.”