by Mary Cope
“Wow, I’m shocked. I thought you’d be headed off to some Ivy League school straight outta high school.”
“Oh stop it.” I giggled. “What about you. Where are you applying?”
“Either San Diego State or UC Santa Barbara.” Aidan smiled.
Arching an eyebrow, I gave him a smirk, “O-o-oh, the party schools.”
“Nope, I just gotta stay near the beach, baby.”
A slow smile spread across his face that made my heart beat a little faster.
“Aren’t you in a bunch of AP classes?”
“Ye-s-s.” Embarrassment caused my answer to drag out.
“I took AP English last year, and it about killed me. How many are you taking?
“Three.” I felt myself blush.
“What? You’re crazy. That’s so much extra work. Why would you do that?”
“I like the challenge. I guess it’s fun for me.”
“Fun? You have got to get out more.” He chuckled. “My dad would love it if I were more like you. The only time he talks to me is when he’s bustin’ my butt to crack down on the books. That’s why he’s paying you to tutor me. He wants me to follow in his footsteps.”
“And that is?”
“Engineering.”
“And what do you want?”
“I have no idea… but I can tell you one thing, it’s not engineering.”
“What about your mom? Does she push you like your dad does?”
“They’re divorced.” Aidan was quiet for a moment, then his demeanor changed. “Besides, she doesn’t care what I do.” Aidan got up, tossed the pillow near my headboard, and gathered his things. “I’d better take off.” He slung his backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll see ya at school.”
“Oh… okay.”
I stood. Then he walked out my door. I shut off my light and peered through the window. Seconds later, he got in his truck and sped away.
Hugging the lucky pillow, I replayed the evening in my head. Everything had seemed to go well until I asked about his mom. What was that about? She doesn’t care what he does? How sad. I picked up my cell, considering if I should text him or not. He texted me.
Aidan: Thanks for tonight.
Me: No problem.
Aidan: Night
Me: Night
That was unexpected and nice…
The last moments before I felt myself drift into sleep were of calculus formulas and Aidan.
****
After our tutoring session, things at school began to change between Aidan and me. When I walked by him, he made a point to say hello, causing glares from his entourage. One day he sat with me during morning break and, after his calculus class, he couldn’t wait to tell me he had actually paid attention. I found myself looking forward to the times when I wasn’t in class and for me… that was crazy.
****
Panting, Melissa choked out, “I’m dying. One hundred and eighteen stairs! I’m not doing that again! I’ll sit up here and wait for you.” Melissa took a seat on a stone bench at the top of the stairs at Lantern Bay Park.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” I took off down the long stairway to the sidewalk below.
At the halfway point, I heard Melissa shout, “You go, girl!”
I smiled, pumped my fist in the air, and continued my descent.
When I reached the bottom, I noticed a group of skateboarders flipping their boards in hopes to stick the landing. As soon as they eyed me, I braced myself, ready to hear the taunting words I had heard so many times before.
The fat girl was always invisible, unless she walked by a group of teenagers. She became the unwanted center of attention. I avoided eye contact, but what I heard shocked me. This group of unruly adolescent boys wolf-whistled at me. Stunned, I climbed the stairs, and when I reached the top, Melissa handed me a bottle of water.
“I can’t believe you did that, Liz! Down and back twice, that’s four-hundred and seventy-two stairs!”
“I can’t believe it either.”
“Did you hear that group of guys whistle at me? Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.” I felt myself getting emotional.
“I think you’d better get used to it.” She gave me a heartfelt smile. “C’mon, let’s go sit down.”
Melissa and I sat in silence and gazed over the view of the Pacific Ocean. We could see all of Doheny State Beach, Dana Point Harbor, and beyond. It was beautiful.
“We can’t stay too much longer. Aidan will be coming over soon. And… oh wait! I didn’t tell you what happened today. I walked by Aidan, and he was talking with stuck-up Cassie. When I passed them, I heard him say he had to go, and he caught up with me and walked me to my class! Can you believe that? I wish I could have seen Cassie’s face. You remember I told you how mean she was to me in grade school?”
Usually news like this would have Melissa jumping up and down. But she was quiet.
“Melissa… what’s wrong?
After a few minutes of silence, our eyes locked.
“Aidan tried to kiss me.”
“What?” My stomach dropped. I had completely put the thought of anything between Aidan and Melissa behind me. “When? Does Mason know?”
“Are you crazy?” Melissa was wide-eyed. “I can’t tell Mason. He’d beat the crap out of Aidan if he knew. I didn’t even want to tell you, but I thought it’d help you get over this.” Melissa flailed her hand at me. “This infatuation you have with him.”
“How’d it… what… happened?
“To be honest, I don’t know. Aidan and I have a few classes near each other, so we would hang out before the bell rang. Ya know, just talking.” Melissa glanced toward the harbor and then back to me. “When the guys would get together to practice, he kept checking me out, but I just blew it off. Knowing how Aidan is, I didn’t think anything of it.” Melissa hesitated and swallowed. “Sunday, just before the guys played, Aidan and I got to the restaurant at the same time. We were hanging out in the parking lot, just talking. He got close to me, leaned forward, and tried to kiss me. I pushed him, and he backed off. He tried to pass it off, like he was joking, but I knew if I would have gone for it, he would have too.”
After a few minutes of silence, I cleared my throat, finally able to speak. “I can’t believe it. How could he do that to Mason?” The protective sister side of me took over as denial turned to anger.
“I’m sorry, Liz, I should have told you sooner. But honestly, I just wanted to forget about it. Promise me you won’t tell Mason. The band is doing so well… I don’t want to cause any problems. Besides, I handled it. Aidan hasn’t tried anything since that night. In fact, he avoids me now.”
“I won’t say anything. I promise. I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot.” Feeling a slight chill in the air, I zipped up my hoodie.
“You were just caught up in his spell. Now maybe you’ll move past it.” Melissa rubbed my back.
“I’m glad you told me. I guess we’d better go”
Melissa and I got up and headed down the stairs as the sun began to set over the ocean.
****
I’m not sure if it was from the workout at the park or Melissa’s impromptu confession, but I was desperate for a shower. While the water ran down my back, I thought about Aidan.
An hour ago I was so happy. Things between Aidan and me were starting to change. I was hoping for friendship… maybe more… but now? How can he do that to Mason? Who does that to a friend? Isn’t that written in the bro code?
Melissa was right… I had been falling under his spell. What was I thinking? Guys like Aidan don’t change. They go after what they want at any cost. Well, there’d be no more of that for me… I’m done.
I felt a sense of empowerment as I prepared for Aidan’s arrival. Instead of my usual ritual of blow-drying and flat-ironing my hair, I decided to let it dry naturally. Instead of borrowing a cute top from my mom, I opted for yoga pants and a plain white t-shirt.
No makeup, no mantra. I was moving on.
****
Mason and the guys were in the garage working on a new song. Usually I would be down in the garage watching them practice, but tonight I decided to skip it and text Aidan.
Me: Come upstairs when you guys are done.
Aidan: Ten more minutes.
I sat at my desk, singing to myself while finishing up my AP English homework. Aidan peeked his head through the door and it silenced me.
“Whoa, you’re good.” Aidan smiled and pushed the door open then stepped inside.
I spun around in my chair as Aidan dropped his backpack on the bed.
“Thanks. Are you ready to start?” I stood up and rolled my chair to the side.
Aidan grabbed his book and took a step toward me. “Something’s different.” He gazed at me with curious eyes.
“Oh, it’s just my hair. I didn’t blow dry it.” I shrugged.
Aidan cocked his head to the side before he took another step forward. He reached out and touched a ringlet of my hair. “It’s beautiful,” he whispered.
I felt a flush spread across my face then took a step backward, breaking eye contact.
“Thanks. Let’s get started. I’ll go get a chair from Mason’s room.” I forced myself to dismiss any romantic thoughts of Aidan as I walked down the hallway.
Chapter Five
“C’mon, girl, c’mon.” I coaxed Maggie up the last few steps of the stairs, and as soon we made it to the top of Lantern Bay Park, we both sprawled out on the cool grass. The smell was earthy and alive. The late November air was crisp and felt good against my heated body. I gave Maggie a few kisses then crawled to my knees.
When I stood to my feet, my heart leapt then my eyes zeroed in on my neighbor. I hadn’t seen him since move-in day. I started to think maybe his parents had bought Mrs. Chapman’s place as a summerhouse. But… here he was looking all bad-boy sexy in a brown leather jacket with his head buried in a college textbook.
Smart and sexy. What a combo.
Taking a few steps back, my thoughts shifted into fantasy mode. I imagined introducing myself to my nameless neighbor, striking up an amazing conversation with him, and ending up on some awesome date. Maggie’s tug of the leash pulled me back into reality and away from my much-too-good-looking neighbor.
Making our way toward the stairs, a large part of me wished I could be that type of girl, outgoing and flirty, but that just wasn’t me. I glanced over my shoulder to get one last look. He noticed me… Is that a nod? At me? I didn’t know what to do. I felt my face flush then turned and took a few steps down the stairs. I realized that I just wasn’t that girl, and, that girl, was never going to be me.
****
The guys were finishing up their band practice as Maggie and I walked up the driveway. I was headed for the front door when I heard Aidan call my name. Several weeks had passed since I’d made my decision to move on from him. It seemed the further I tried to pull away the more he worked to bring us close.
I stopped a few steps before the front door as Aidan rounded the corner from inside of the garage. His soft hair blew back in the breeze, and his blue eyes glimmered in the last rays of the setting sun.
“Hi, Aidan.” I unhooked Maggie’s leash and tossed it on the front porch. Aidan crouched down to give Maggie some attention.
“Hey, Liz.” Aidan rose to his feet.
My heart quickened when his eyes followed the length of my body.
He reached in his back pocket, fished out his wallet, and pulled out a check. “Here ya go. I forgot to pay you last week.”
I still felt funny taking money for tutoring, and Aidan knew it.
“Take it, Liz. It’s my dad’s money not mine.” Aidan placed the check in my hand but didn’t let go. Our eyes locked for a few seconds before I backed away, and he dropped his hand from mine. “It’s the least he could do for me.”
Aidan hadn’t spoke about his home life since our first tutoring night in my room. His tone sounded pained, so I decided to question him about it. “What do you mean?”
“My dad’s getting married again.”
“Again?”
“Yep. Third time’s the charm, he says, but knowing my dad, he’ll end up screwing things up. He always does.
“Do you like her?”
“Natalie? She’s alright.” He shrugged. “I’ve learned not to get attached. So, I guess it doesn’t matter.”
Aidan’s cell phone chimed, and I watched him read the text.
“I gotta take off.” Aidan went back in the garage to pick up his bass.
Kyle and Mason were sitting on the couch while Derek was standing in front of them, arms flailing, in the middle of some elaborate story. Mason was laughing hard, and Kyle just shook his head.
I made my way toward Aidan’s truck and he called out, “I’ll see ya guys later.” When he hopped inside he gave me a ghost of a smile. “Bye, Liz.”
“Bye.”
Watching him drive away, I felt my heart thaw a little.
****
The weeks leading up to our eighteenth birthday were busy. Most of my time was occupied with singing rehearsals, working out, and planning mine and Mason’s birthday party. Melissa was ecstatic at the idea, such an extrovert. She loved a party. I, on the other hand, did not. The thought of being the center of attention was unsettling. Even the shopping outing with Mom and Melissa was difficult for me.
“Oh, Lizzie! Just come out and let us see how it looks on you!” Melissa summoned from outside the dressing room door.
“Yes, sweetie, let us see too.” Mom chimed in.
Reluctantly, I opened the door. Simultaneously, they both gasped. Bouncing on her heels, Melissa let out a shriek. My mom was awestruck with tears welling in her eyes.
“Elizabeth, you look absolutely beautiful.” I could feel myself blushing while I fiddled with the hem of the dress. Melissa took a step toward me and pushed me in front of the three-way mirror.
“Lizzie, look at yourself. Look at your waist. Turn around and check out your butt. It looks amazing!” Melissa gave me a swat.
I’d hit the twenty-pound goal over a month ago, but our shopping day had had to be postponed. That is why, as of today, I was at The Mission Viejo Mall in front of a three-way mirror, thirty-two pounds lighter.
Staring at my reflection, it took me a moment to process what I saw before me. My once doughy middle was now tight and shapely. Where Melissa was slender and leggy, I was petite and well… voluptuous. My legs were toned, and Melissa was right, my butt looked amazing.
Our birthday was in December, so all the holiday dresses were out. I was wearing a fitted black cutout dress, size four. The front of the dress was modest with a scoop neck and long tight-fitting sleeves. The back was cut low with a cutout crisscross design showcasing my fair skin. I was stunned at my silhouette. Melissa and Mom were beaming with joy.
“Look no farther, Liz! That’s the dress. It’s perfect!” Melissa said with certainty.
My mom was so taken aback with my new appearance we ended up leaving the mall with three pairs of jeans, two sweaters, four t-shirts, my black party dress, and a pair of black satin pumps with four-inch heels. It was the first time in my life I’d ever enjoyed shopping.
****
After our shopping spree, I felt exhilarated. Melissa and I laughed as we clamored up the stairs. Mason heard us and opened his door. He popped his head out and smiled. Melissa ran past him giggling, then he came bounding behind us with Aidan at his heels. Mason attacked Melissa, and they both fell on my bed laughing. I tossed my bags on the floor and sat on the edge of my bed, smiling at the display of affection between the two of them. Aidan had a goofy grin on his face as he plopped in my computer chair.
Mason pulled Melissa in close and kissed her on the top of her head while she nestled in next to him. “Did you get anything today?” he asked her.
Melissa smiled up at Mason while batting her eyelashes. “Yep. But you can’t see my dress until the party.”
He groan
ed and kissed her on the lips.
“Liz got a bunch of new stuff. And an amazing dress!” Melissa started chanting “Fashion show… fashion show…”
The guys joined in Melissa’s plea until I stood up and grabbed one of the bags. They all cheered when I pulled out my black party dress.
“I’m just showing it to you guys. I’m not putting it on.”
They each let out a whiny “Aww…”
I smirked and held the dress in front of me. When I turned it around to show the back, Aidan let out a slow sexy whistle, and Melissa clapped.
Mason raised an eyebrow. “Whoa, Liz, that’s pretty… sexy.”
Melissa elbowed Mason in the stomach and a burst of air left his lungs.
“Do you think it’s too much?”
Aidan looked the dress up and down and smiled “Don’t listen to your brother. You’re gonna look hot.”
Mason grabbed a pillow and chucked it at Aidan.
Aidan caught the pillow before it smacked him in the face and laughed. “Hey now, I’m just speakin’ the truth.”
I glanced at Aidan, and he winked at me. I felt my face redden as I picked up the rest of my bags and tossed everything in the closet.
“Hey, we’re gonna go get some fish tacos in the harbor. Do you girls wanna come?” Aidan was looking at me when he asked. Melissa and Mason got up and straightened out my bed.
I glanced over at Melissa eyeing me. Before she could say anything, I heard myself answer with an enthusiastic “Yes!”
****
The night air was chilly. There was no room on the inside of the small establishment, so Melissa and I grabbed a wooden picnic table outside.