by Mary Cope
Chapter Thirteen
Maggie was so jumpy, but I didn’t blame her. She had been cooped up in the house since the attack. I’d been back in my routine the day Dr. Lee had removed my stitches and given me the go ahead. It had been a few weeks for me, but since this was Maggie’s first day out, I’d decided to take it slow. When we approached the house where the dogfight had been, I stopped. Usually, I would cross the street and run by it without giving it a second look. Today, I decided to exorcise the demons that haunted me. Maggie sniffed the grass, and I wondered if she could remember any of it. Did animals remember trauma? It didn’t seem to affect her. At first, I hadn’t thought it had affected me either. But it had.
I used to run with both ear buds stuck in my ears and my music blasting. Now I only ran with one, leaving the other ear bud dangling behind me. My pepper spray was now in my pocket instead of clipped to Maggie’s leash, and when I ran, I scanned the area like I was the Terminator.
I wrapped my arms around myself when I approached the area where Maggie once lay bleeding. I crouched down and let my hand skim across the damp blades of grass. Maggie sat next to me and put her sweet face next to mine. Overcome with emotion, I fell to my knees and cried. Not just a few tears. I sobbed. I was aware time was passing, and this was going to be the extent of our walk today, but I didn’t care. Wiping the last of my tears away, I was startled by the touch of a warm hand on my shoulder.
“Are you alright, darlin’?” The gentle voice of concern and the feel of his touch sent me over the edge. I was thrown back into uncontrollable weeping. When I stood, Spencer held me in his strong arms. Overcome with emotions, my head rested on his shoulder while I continued to sob.
“Shhh, you’re safe. You’re safe.” He repeated those words over and over while he stroked my hair.
The scent of his soft leather jacket mingled with freshly showered skin was comforting to me. When I shed my last tear, I looked up into his smoky, grey eyes.
“I feel like an idiot.” I stepped back, breaking the connection of our bodies as I wiped my nose with the back of my sleeve.
“Don’t, Elizabeth. When you’ve gone through anything tragic, you never know when it’s going to hit you. Trust me, I know.”
I thought about his words for a minute and then glanced at his tear-stained jacket.
“I’m sorry about all that.” I motioned to his sleeve.
He glanced down at his left arm and shrugged. “That’s okay. It just gives it more character.”
Spencer and I walked toward his motorcycle with Maggie following behind. In my emotional fit, I hadn’t even heard him pull up. He zipped up his jacket and grabbed his helmet.
“So, tonight? Eight o’clock?”
I took a step back. Spencer put on his helmet and straddled the bike.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.”
Spencer gave me a dimpled smile, started up the bike, and rode away.
****
Memories of Mrs. Chapman flooded my mind. The front door still had the pewter knocker I had tapped to let her know I was there. I couldn’t bring myself to use it. I swallowed the lump in my throat before I rang the bell.
After my crying jag from the morning, I felt a little awkward when Spencer opened the door. My embarrassment soon faded when my eyes locked with his, and he welcomed me inside. The inside of the home was so different than I had remembered. The first thing that caught my attention was the baby grand piano I had coveted on move-in day. A peaceful feeling flowed through me as Spencer walked me past his living area. It was so comfortable and inviting. A deep green sofa and love seat surrounded an oversized dark leather ottoman. Hanging above the couch was an assortment of black-and-white photographs, mostly pictures of waterfalls and a beautiful mountain landscape.
I glanced around the house, hoping to see his little brothers, but they were nowhere in sight. Spencer led me into the kitchen.
“Something to drink?” he asked.
“Sure.”
Spencer opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of orange juice and held it up. I nodded and sat on a barstool next to the kitchen island. He filled our glasses with ice, while I continued to observe my surroundings. The tan color in the living area flowed through the kitchen as well. Stainless steel appliances took the once-dated house and gave it a modern feel. The change in the home was shocking. The hardwood floors were the only reminder Mrs. Chapman had ever lived there.
“Where are your brothers?” I asked. Spencer stood on the opposite side of the island, and he handed me my glass.
“My brothers live with my mom.”
I was taken aback by his answer. “Oh, I just assumed you lived with your family.”
Spencer shook his head. “Nope, just me.” He leaned against the island and sipped his orange juice.
“This place is yours?” I couldn’t hide the curiosity in my voice.
There was an awkward silence between us, and I felt horrible for being so nosey. All I could think of was how did a twenty-one-year-old college student afford all this?
“I didn’t mean to pry. I was just surprised. It’s just a lot for someone so young.” Spencer’s relaxed stance became tense.
“Let’s get started.” His usual gentle tone became curt.
“I’m sorry, Spencer, that was rude of me.”
He gave me a nod, and I followed him as he walked into the living room.
Spencer slid across the piano bench and motioned for me to sit by his side. He was wearing a long-sleeved, white-and-grey-striped cotton shirt. No chance of checking out his tattoos. I couldn’t even figure out the script on his ring finger, but after the comment about his finances, there was no way I was asking about it.
We spent the next hour rehearsing for Sunday’s service. The earlier awkwardness was gone, and I felt the kindhearted Spencer coming back to me. He brought out sheet music for the song “Lead Me To The Cross” and handed me the lyrics.
“I want you to sing this. Not at your usual hiding place behind the piano either. Front and center, like you did at the Christmas concert. I’ll accompany you with my guitar.” His tone was authoritative.
My heart was racing. The thought of having to sing again was terrifying.
Spencer slid off the piano bench and padded down the hallway. Seconds later, he returned with his acoustic guitar. He sat on the edge of the piano bench and began to play.
“It’s not something I’m comfortable with,” I mumbled and began nibbling my thumbnail.
Spencer stopped playing. “I know all about that, Elizabeth. Lance filled me in. We’re going to get you comfortable. You have a beautiful voice. It’s time you quit hiding it. Now stand up. Eyes on me.”
I took a deep breath, tense green eyes focused on encouraging grey, and with a nod from Spencer, I began. I didn’t know if it was the beautiful song or the confidence that he was willing me, but when I finished, Spencer was beaming with such enthusiasm I felt myself grinning like a little kid.
“Well, what do you know? Elizabeth Ryan is finding her voice.” He smiled before he said, “Let’s do it again.”
We ran through the song a few more times until Spencer leaned over to check the clock. It was 10:16 p.m.
“I guess we’d better call it a night.” He leaned his guitar against the wall as I walked toward the front door and reached for the doorknob.
“I’ll see you Sunday, Spencer.” I smiled back at him and stepped outside.
“Hold up, darlin’.” He quickly made his way toward me.
“I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I let you walk home alone. Let’s go.” Spencer placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me toward the sidewalk then walked me safely home.
****
Aidan was so busy with work all week so, other than school, we hadn’t been able to spend any time together. I could tell he was frustrated, so we planned an all-day date for Saturday. He was coming over at 11:00 a.m. so we could go to brunch.
I missed Aidan and wanted to look my best
for him, so I took extra time getting ready. I knew he liked me in dresses, and since the weather was beginning to change from winter to spring, I was happy to wear one for him. I put on a sassy little blue sleeveless dress made from a stretchy fabric that hugged me in all the right places. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I knew he’d love it.
I’d never been big on makeup, and since Aidan had said I didn’t need it, I just applied some mascara and a pale shade of red lipstick. I slipped on a pair of nude, strappy sandals and gave my head a shake. My loose curls fell around my shoulders, cascading down to the middle of my back. I headed down stairs just as I heard the doorbell ring and Maggie bark.
When I opened the door, Aidan’s mouth dropped. Just the reaction I had hoped for. I fluttered my eyelashes and gave him my best sexy smile. He clutched his heart like he was having a heart attack and pulled me into his arms.
“You’re stunning.” He leaned in and kissed me with so much passion I knew my lipstick was gone.
“Let me look at you.” I breathed.
Aidan stepped back and spun around so I could admire him. He was wearing a white-collared shirt and black jeans. His hair was slicked back and had that just-showered scent I loved so much.
“You’ll do,” I teased.
Aidan swatted my butt as I walked past him toward the truck.
****
After a filling brunch, we walked around the harbor talking, kissing, and making up for lost time. I suggested a run at the park to relieve the guilt I felt for eating far too much. Aidan hated that I was going to change out of my tight-fitting dress, but I pacified him with the promise to wear it Sunday night when the guys played. We went to my house so I could change into my usual workout gear and then headed to his house.
As we entered, Aidan and I passed by his father, who was lounging on the couch watching CNN.
“Hi, Mr. Mitchell,” I said en route to Aidan’s bedroom.
How ya doin’, Lizzie?” he smiled.
“I’m good, sir, thank you.”
No wonder Aidan was so attractive. His father had sandy-blond hair, expressive blue eyes like his son, and was extremely handsome. Aidan’s new stepmom, Natalie, was beautiful too. Aidan had told me she was thirty-five, but she could pass for someone in their late twenties. She had shoulder-length dark hair cut in flirty layers that framed her big brown eyes. Every time I’d seen her, she’d looked perfect. She was what my mom called a trophy wife.
When we entered his room, Aidan unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it on the floor. He grabbed a t-shirt from an open drawer and a pair of running shorts. He began to unbutton his jeans. My eyes focused from the top button of his jeans, past his defined abs, and finally settled on his darkening blue eyes.
“I don’t think so…” My cheeks felt flushed.
Aidan lunged toward me and we fell on his bed.
“What’s a matter, Liz. Am I too much for you?”
I squirmed beneath him. “Somethin’ like that.” I giggled.
Aidan’s lips were soon on mine. My hands roamed across his shirtless body as he parted my legs with his jean-covered knee and held his body over mine. One of his hands found its way under my t-shirt while he continued to distract me with his heated kisses. The next thing I knew, we were rolling around on his bed. I could feel my pulse quickening but knew we needed to stop. I was barely able to break my mouth free as I gasped.
“Aidan… wait.”
Aidan groaned then rolled his body from mine.
“You’re killin’ me, Liz. You’re killin’ me.”
I reached for him and placed my head on his bare chest.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Aidan caressed my hair as his breathing returned to normal. “You’re so beautiful, Liz. I can’t help but want you.”
I was at a loss for words. All I could think to do was bury my face in the crook of his neck. I looked up into his eyes. “I know what you want… but… I’m not ready.”
I hugged him but felt him tense up. He exhaled and pulled away from me. He moved to the edge of the bed, sat with his feet on the floor, and his back toward me.
I crawled across the bed and rested my head on his muscular back. My hair curled down his right arm. I whispered, “I care about you so much. I just feel like this is all moving so fast.” I kissed his shoulder and moved so we were sitting side by side. “Please let’s take things slow, Aidan. Please.”
“Okay,” he answered. There was a reluctant tone in his voice, then he grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom to change.
****
The tension between Aidan and me seemed to be gone when we made our second loop up the stairs at the park. Aidan took my hand and pulled me over to a stone bench overlooking the Pacific. I sat while he stretched out and placed his head on my lap. I bent down and kissed him on the lips.
“You make me happy,” he said with a smile.
I leaned in close for another kiss and a ringlet of my hair tickled his face. “You make me happy too.”
He placed the dangling hair behind my ear. “Do I?”
“Of course you do.” I gazed out over the ocean watching the sailboats catch the wind while I ran my fingers through his soft hair. “I’m just worried. I know what you want… what you’re used to… but…”
“But?”
It took me a minute to finish what I needed to say. “I know this sounds crazy, but… I grew up in a home where doing… that… is what you do when you’re married.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d wanted to say that to him for weeks. My innocence had definitely been taken down a notch, but I wasn’t ready for going-all-the-way. I exhaled and asked him the question that had haunted me since he’d first asked me to be his girlfriend. “Do you think you can be with me and not do… that?” I couldn’t say the word… how was I supposed to do the word?
Aidan moved his head from my lap and sat up. He was quiet for a long time.
“I don’t think I can.”
His answer floored me.
“I didn’t finish, Liz. I don’t think I can… but… I’ll try.”
We stayed on the bench until sunset. As we watched the sun slip into the ocean, I could feel Aidan Mitchell slipping deeper into my heart.
Chapter Fourteen
My anxiety increased listening to Pastor Dan finish up the sermon. It had taken everything in me to sing the solo performance at the Christmas concert, and here I was again. Spencer approached the piano bench and slid in next to me as I wiped my trembling hands back and forth on my black skirt. He placed his hand over mine.
“You’re going to do fine,” he whispered. “If you get nervous, pretend it’s just us, like we’ve practiced.”
I nodded while fiddling with my necklace from Aidan. Spencer’s hand left mine and gestured it was time to begin.
Mason moved the podium to the side and whispered, “You’ve got this, Liz.”
Jake adjusted the mic in front of me, and I took a deep breath. Spencer grabbed a stool and placed it far enough in front of me so eye contact wouldn’t be a problem. I stood in front of the mic and cleared my throat, mentally trying to prepare myself. The stage light focused on me as Spencer began to play. I hesitated and bypassed the lead-in of the song.
My wide green eyes met calming grey. Spencer gave me an encouraging smile and began again. This time my gaze never left his. I could almost feel the confidence he was willing me through the depths of his eyes. When he strummed the last chorus, his mouth curved into a smile, then the song was over. Spencer was beaming with pride. I bit the edge of my bottom lip and gave him a shy smile. The lights rose, and my focus turned from Spencer to the enthusiastic audience. Stepping back from the mic, I looked over the congregation. My focal point went from a sea of faceless faces to one. I felt my heart quicken when I gazed into the blue eyes I had come to adore. My thoughts were racing from He’s gorgeous to What’s he doing here?
Spencer approached me with a quick hug and a whispered, “You did great
, darlin’.” His warm eyes looked deep into mine. “It’s just the beginning, Elizabeth.” Spencer laughed as he watched my smile fade into fear. He just shook his head then picked up the mic and walked off the stage.
My eyes found Aidan, but his breathtaking smile had been replaced with a compressed thin line. I raised one finger to signal I’d be with him in a minute.
I rushed into the music room to get my purse and almost ran into Spencer in the process. “Sorry, Spencer.”
All the guys applauded and told me I did a great job. I thanked them and grabbed my bag. Spencer caught my eye as I headed toward the door.
“What’s the hurry?” Spencer said with a smile. He was in the process of untangling an electrical cord.
I felt uncomfortable. I wasn’t hiding the fact I had a boyfriend. The subject just never came up.
I barely made eye contact before I murmured, “My boyfriend’s waiting for me.”
Spencer gasped but tried to cover it up with a cough.
I glanced at him before I walked out the door and our eyes met. He seemed so caught off-guard it made my heart ache. His expression went from shock to confusion. I walked down the hallway, lost in my thoughts. The look on Spencer’s face haunted me.
****
Aidan was still standing where I’d last seen him, only now his arms were folded.
“Are you okay?” I reached out for him, but he backed up a step.
“Who’s the guy that was hugging you?”
“Oh, that’s just Spencer.” I tried to sound as indifferent as I could.
“The guy that gave you the flowers?” His voice dripped with animosity.
“Aidan, it’s no big deal. He’s the music director.” The instant the words left my mouth I felt disloyal to Spencer. He was so much more than that. I turned my back on Aidan in an attempt to head toward the exit door, but he hurried to my side and hissed in my ear.