Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  “First of all, one of those questions is more than a little insulting to his intelligence, which might have something to do with the fact that he’s ignoring you, but beyond that, he’s deaf.”

  “Seriously? Of all the…Hades, I don’t even know sign language!”

  “Fortunately for you, I do,” he said, stepping forward. He signed to the man, who nodded once and disappeared, and I collapsed on a nearby bench.

  “That’s not fair. I never asked for these gifts in the first place, and now I have to learn additional skills just to communicate?”

  “So, now it’s all about you and what you want?”

  “That’s not what I said. You know what? I give up.” I started to walk away as he fell into step beside me. “From now on, when I’m having issues with one of the souls, I’ll be sure to send them straight to you, alright? I wouldn’t want them to become a Fury or…whatever.”

  “It’s not that you don’t care, Emma, but you have the patience of a puppy and you need to try to see things from their perspective. They just died, and don’t know where to go. Your job is to calm them down before you can begin to listen to what’s preventing them from moving on. That’s using your gifts to your advantage.”

  I stomped my way into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Kahlua as Hades handed me a glass, perching himself on the edge of a barstool. “It took me a while to learn what I was supposed to do, too, for what it’s worth, though I had an advantage you don’t.”

  “Does it have something to do with being a god?”

  “A ruthless father,” he said, sipping his drink as I took the other chair. “There was no room for error with Kronos. I either had to figure it out-and fast-or he was going to take my kingdom from me.”

  “What an asshole,” I said, and he smiled. “No, I mean it. I knew all the Olympic gods had a horrific birth and upbringing-thank you, English Literature, Freshman year-but no one’s ever been able to get the whole story. Is that why you’re so pushy with me?”

  “You would be in the deepest pit of Tartarus by now if you’d had the same experience I did.”

  I snorted, closing my eyes as regret swamped me. “I’m not trying hard enough, am I?”

  “I wouldn’t say that. You’ve sent twenty out of forty souls successfully onward, without my help.”

  “That’s an ‘F’, Hades,” I said,” rolling my eyes sideways at him. “I got a failing grade on the afterlife. Just send me home.”

  “You can do this, Emma,” he said, laying his hand over mine on the counter. “They’re not going to stop coming to you for help, just because you don’t believe in yourself. If you don’t want them to control every facet of your life, then do something about it.”

  “Like what?”

  “Be the kick-ass medium I know you are and rewrite your life.”

  I slid my hand from his, wrapping it around the glass instead, cheeks flushed. “I’m still not going to learn sign language.”

  “Baby steps.”

  The Underworld, 1 year later

  “We want you to work for us…unofficially.”

  I dropped my fork to the plate in a loud clatter, splat as bits of mashed potato and meatloaf speckled the hardwood floor. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “You’ve done a wonderful job with your training and we think-more Persephone than me, mind-that it’s time to utilize our friendship in another way,” Hades said as a maid bent down next to me, cleaning up the mess. “It would be an immense help to us both.”

  “While I appreciate the offer,” I said, watching as Grandma waved slyly to the waiter, who blushed and ducked his head, “My life is still in Portland, so I don’t-”

  Hades filled his wine glass, lounging back in his chair.

  “Before you refuse, it’s worth listening to what we’d be willing to give you in return.”

  “Oh, jewelry, a diamond-studded wallet, and keys to your kingdom?”

  “A reprieve,” he said, patience barely contained. “No more souls until your work is completed.”

  “Including her?” I asked, gesturing to Grandma, who was busy smuggling silverware into her purse.

  “That’s entirely up to you.”

  I still hadn’t entirely forgiven her-not for dying, though her sudden departure was unexpected enough without the closure I needed-but because my life vanished when she introduced me to Hades, and the dead hadn’t given me any rest for the last year. What wouldn’t I give for a little break? No more middle-of-the-night wake-up calls for help or flash mobs in public spaces. I could eat, grocery shop, drive, hell even shower again without someone watching and waiting for my attention.

  “I’m not saying yes, and I’m not saying no, but suppose I agreed. What would I have to do?”

  “Write a novel.”

  Of course, it was that simple. Write a novel. Like I could just sit down and crank out a fifty-thousand-word manuscript about what, exactly? The sheer size and opulence of their castle? How training with the spirit world was driving me crazy? How their vicious bloodhounds had, on more than one occasion, almost mauled Bailey and me to death? How I had breakfast with the Lord of the Underworld and his wildly famous, flower-sprouting wife every morning?

  More to the point, though, where was I going to find the time? Between the back-and-forth trips from the Underworld to Portland and deadlines to my editor, I kept fairly busy.

  “Specifically, though, a biography of our lives together,” Persephone said, laying her hand in his. “We need someone who knows us inside and out and in the end, the proceeds go straight to you.”

  “What do you guys get from this, then?”

  “You mean besides the satisfaction of knowing that our story-the real one, not like the one you read to us-has been told and spread to others? Isn’t that reward enough?”

  “There’s one problem with this situation, though,” I said, laying my napkin on the table. “Doing this for you could take a while, and I’m not sure that I’m willing to continue living here that long. I mean, a week at a time is pushing it, and I only agreed to keep coming back here because I’m frequently overwhelmed in Portland and need you to bail me out.”

  Crunch-there went the armrest of Hades’ chair.

  Persephone sighed and called the maid back over, giving her husband a steely-eyed glare.

  “Mini vacations, then, like you do right now. Just let us know when you’re ready for more story material, and we’ll have Hermes bring you down here and back home afterward.”

  “I don’t know…” I twisted my hands together, thinking fast.

  “Cora, I told you this wasn’t going to work, but you didn’t-”

  She shushed him, watching me expectantly. “So, will you do it? You’re the only one we trust with something this personal.”

  “I’ve only known you for a year. That’s not a lot of time to wrap my head around a two-millennia-old marriage and find all the skeletons in your very spacious closets. And don’t even get me started on that Gordian knot you call a family tree.”

  “Oh, come off it, Emma,” Grandma said and I jumped, having completely forgotten she was even there still. “Don’t you see what they’re offering you? A chance to be somewhat normal for a bit-to live life the way you want to instead of being at someone else’s beck and call all the time.”

  “That,” Hades said as he shook the empty decanter at the kitchen staff, “is the first rational thing you’ve said all night.”

  “You’re drunk,” Persephone said, trying to take his cup away as he held it just out of reach.

  “Don’t care.”

  “And you can stop the spirits from bothering me? They won’t turn into Furies?” I asked skeptically, gnawing at my thumbnail.

  A slight smile tugged at the corners of Hades’ mouth. “Death god, remember? That’s in my job description.”

  I wanted to flambé him for being able, the whole time, to lighten my spiritual load a bit whenever I told him it was too much to handle, but this meant he was starting
to realize that I could handle things on my own, which I supposed was a good thing. Plus it sounded fun to be able to delve into their personal lives without ramifications. I squared my shoulders and looked straight into Persephone’s eyes. “You have a deal.”

  “Excellent!” She said, standing. “Hades, darling, before I forget, Jasper’s been looking for you-something about needing you at the docks whenever you have a spare moment.”

  “You didn’t think to mention this beforehand?” He asked, setting his napkin aside. “What if it was urgent?”

  “He gave no indication that was the case and besides, supper is the only time all day that I get to see you. Forgive me for wanting to take advantage of the opportunity,” she said primly, inspecting her fingernails and after a moment, he sighed, standing as well.

  “I should see to it sooner rather than later. Emma, thank you for agreeing to stay here on a more permanent basis. I realize it may not be ideal with your chaotic schedule, but it’s greatly appreciated,” he said, giving Persephone a quick kiss on the cheek before sweeping out of the room.

  “Do you ever help him with the souls?” I asked, re-filling my glass and she shook her head, crossing to the French doors of the dining room.

  “I’ve offered to a few times, but I’m the goddess of life, and his souls are darker than death. They would drain my essence if I stayed amongst them for too long. Which is why I envy you sometimes,” she added and I choked on a sip of wine, wheezing into a coughing fit as she threw me a concerned glance.

  “I’m fine it’s just why on earth would you be envious of me? You’re an immortal goddess with gods for parents, you live in a drop-dead gorgeous castle with a hunk of a husband, and you’re not pestered for life by hordes of spiritual free-loaders.”

  “Step outside with me a moment?”

  I joined her on the balcony, leaning against the rail as I gazed out across the black sand beach and soul-laden wooden docks.

  “Hades has searched high and low for someone with a fraction of the gifts you possess, Emma,” she said, twirling the stem of her glass between her fingers. “I know you think of them as a burden, but whether you realize it or not, you have his undivided attention night and day and I know you’re his apprentice of sorts,” she said as I opened my mouth to protest. “So this isn’t a jealousy-fueled discussion, but I’d give anything to be as close to Hades as you’ve been the past year. I help mother with the changing of the seasons, lend an ear whenever my husband needs someone to vent to, and run his household, but that’s where my…usefulness…ends.”

  “Persephone, my interactions with Hades are all business all the time,” I said, not liking where her train of thought was headed, despite her insistence to the contrary. “He squeezes me in between soul-sorting and his time here with you because I still don’t really know what I’m doing, and I refuse to create more Furies for him to deal with. As near as I can tell, you hold everything here together, and that’s not a small feat. So I think you need to cut yourself some slack. Without you, his life would be immeasurably difficult. He’s also not a patient man, and his rough-around-the-edges attitude grates on me constantly. I ask too many questions and I doubt myself, so I’m sure his thoughts where I’m concerned aren’t always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes I think he would prefer it if I disappeared and never returned.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true,” she said, joining me at the rail. “He’s moody, sure, but he cares about you or he wouldn’t bother training you.”

  I watched as Hades strolled into sight, taking a tablet from one of his men as he surveyed the long lines of souls.

  “Helping the souls here makes more sense than trying-and failing-to handle them in Portland. I didn’t know where they belonged, or what I was supposed to do for them before Hades found me.”

  “Did you know someone is born every five seconds and dies every ten?” She asked, and I shook my head. “Over the years, the soul load has been steadily increasing, which means he’s busier-and more stressed than usual. I do what I can to manage his tantrums, but he needed help. Now, he has it.”

  “Something tells me that he isn’t Lord of the Underworld by choice,” I said as a salty ocean breeze whispered through my hair. “If that’s true, then I imagine he likes dealing with the souls about as much as I do.”

  She tapped fingertips against the rail, eyeing me speculatively. “When he and his brothers overthrew their father, Kronos, the three realms were divvied up by rank. Zeus, being the oldest, chose the sky, Poseidon the seas which, by process of elimination, left the Underworld to Hades. He’s made the most of what he was given, but he talks about the day his brothers decide they’re no longer happy where they are. Not that it’ll happen,” she added hastily. “Zeus is far too power-hungry to ever step down as Lord of Olympus, and Poseidon belongs with the ocean.”

  I thought about the raw power I’d felt the first time I met Hades, shivering when I remembered the way his dark, fathomless eyes had penetrated my soul as he could see straight through me. He’d tampered that god-like glow around me recently, but it was always there, bubbling just beneath the surface.

  “Hades could be destined for greatness, too, if given the chance,” I heard myself say, and watched as Persephone’s eyebrows shot into her hairline. “I mean, I get it-dark, brooding, slow to trust and quick to anger. All of those traits, in one man, means he’s excellent at what he does, but he could rival his brothers for control any day he chooses.”

  “I doubt the Fates would agree,” she said, smiling faintly. “But I admire your unwavering faith in him.” She sipped her drink, gazing out across the water. “What’s Portland like?”

  “I don’t know it’s a place for you,” I said, trying to imagine her in my city. I had to admit-the odds didn’t look good in her favor. “I mean, it’s surrounded by mountains, and has lots of green space,” I said as I watched her eyes go a little misty around the edges. “But it’s also chaotically busy pretty much all the time.”

  “Busy would be a nice change of pace from creepily devoid of life.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Live there for a year and tell me what you think then.” I set my cup down on a side table. “I think I’m headed for bed. Are you staying up awhile?”

  “For a little bit, yes,” she said. “I need to make sure Hades’ mood when he returns from the beach is…amicable. Suitable to be next to for any length of time.”

  I paused, hand on the doorknob. “Are you happy with him?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” She seemed confused by the question, propping a hand on her hip.

  “He’s your uncle, right? And he kidnapped you to boot. I dunno,” I shrugged, trying for nonchalant, though it felt like I was seconds away from getting the hair, on the top of my head, roasted off under her penetrating stare. “I think it would take me a long time to get to happily ever after.”

  “There are still days when I blame him for taking me away from Olympus,” she said, striding into the dining room. “But living here in six-month chunks of time really isn’t as bad as it sometimes seems. And I have the greenhouse he built for me.”

  “I’m guessing family reunions are a little tense.”

  “I’m not going to use the terms ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’ as it relates to our relationship, because he took that into his own hands,” she said, smiling faintly. “But things could always be worse. I still see mother and my home, and I know how much he loves me, which helps get me through the darker days when all I want to do is kill him.” She pursed her lips together into a thin line, either realizing she went too far or stopping herself from saying more. “Someday, Emma, I hope you find true love, despite how mushy that sounds. Because not all of us are so lucky.”

  She sank into her seat at the table, hands cradling her glass and I hesitated, wanting to comfort her, but not knowing how. In the end, I left, slinking away like a thief in the night as she continued to gaze out the windows, face troubled.

  Chapter Five

/>   The Underworld, three years later

  “Emma!”

  I skid into the hallway, socked feet slipping and sliding on the polished floor as I chased the curved staircase downward, bursting into the dining room at full speed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Hades glanced up from his paperwork. The fireplace, which usually burned hot and bright, had been allowed to wane over the past year, and a chill permeated the room. “I need your help with something.”

  “Wait a damn minute,” I said, marching over to him as I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. “You bellowed at me, at the top of your lungs, mind, for work? Your tone made it sound like you were bleeding out!”

  “I’m sorry if I worried you, but I needed you here.”

  I was tempted to punch him, until I noticed what he was bent over, and sidled up to him, tucking my hands into my pockets so he wouldn’t see them shake. I knew exactly what he wanted to discuss, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Not one bit.

  “Why is Mr. Poddaski not on my lists for tomorrow?”

  “Because he’s on his way to Elysium?” My palms felt sweaty, face flushed, and was it hot in the room, or was it just me?

  “Who sent him there without my permission?”

  Well, shit.

  “Me.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut as he fought for calm. “Emma…”

  “You were busy! I happened to see your tablet on the way to my room this morning, and it just so happened that I live a block away from him. His kids and my brother went to school together, for crying out loud. If he had to die, why not end things from someone he knew? It was also helpful for me to see someone pass away before I knew them as a soul.”

  “He wasn’t yours to take.”

  “What’s the difference? A soul is a soul. No matter when they go, they’ll end up in the same place, right?”

  “There’s an order to death-a professionalism that I was hoping to maintain. Besides, you shouldn’t be able to see the spirits at all.”