Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  “I don’t want to spend our remaining time together arguing,” he interjected. “You need breaks from this place-they’re good for you-and Hermes here is more than willing to take you, so could you please try to show a little more gratitude?”

  “I’m sorry for being so rude,” I said to Hermes, who turned back to me. “If you wouldn’t mind taking me to Portland, I’d be grateful for it. And, uh, if you slipped me a little invite while you’re at it, I wouldn’t object to that, either.”

  “Emma!”

  I whirled on Hades, finger in his face. “You’re inviting me to your holiday gathering, Hades because I need to see what you’re really like around your family. For the book. Also, because I was hoping to run into Hera again.”

  “Oh, come on, brother. Let the girl have a bit of fun for once,” Hermes said, draping an arm around my shoulders. I gazed at Hades…waiting.

  He sighed, shaking his head ruefully.

  “I’ll let you come to one party and then the subject is dropped until further notice.”

  “Thank you. See? That wasn’t so hard, was it? And next year, I fully expect an invite at least a week in advance, so I can clear my schedule and oh my god,” I said, brain screaming to a halt. “One party. As in, there are others? Others that you’ve had and I haven’t been invited to, or begged my name onto the list of guests?”

  Hades, for his part, looked unabashedly defiant as my eyes became hard little pieces of flint. “I see. In that case, expect me to stay away a little longer next time, purely out of spite. I’m ready to leave.”

  Hermes held out a hand for me, and I bent over to scoop Bailey up, pressing her to my chest as the world spun around us.

  Portland, Oregon

  “So I’m not allowed to ask why we’re tip-toeing through a cemetery, and you’re not allowed to tell me, even if I ask. Did I get that right?”

  “It’s better this way, Sam. I don’t know what would happen otherwise.” I handed him a flashlight as I took my own, reaching into my coat pocket to lock the car. “Stay near me, okay?”

  “This is not a normal first date activity,” he whispered, and I smiled, scanning the tombstones.

  “If I told you what we were doing, would you have come with me?”

  “No. Instead, I’d be checking you into the nearest mental institution. I’m still tempted to do that, by the way.”

  “We’re looking for one name in particular-Margaret Atoll. Freshly dug grave and-ack!” My right foot sank into squidgy earth calf-height, and I struggled to free myself, using the slab of granite in front of me for leverage. “Found her.”

  “Do you do this often?” He asked as he reached down to help me.

  A wispy shape began to form next to me, bits of soul arranging themselves into the shape of a woman, flowered shirt was torn and flapping in a non-existent breeze.

  “This in particular? No. First time for everything though, right?”

  He yanked me free from the dirt and I pulled my shoes and socks off.

  “I found the grave, I’m dirty from head to toe, so now what?” I addressed the spirit directly and saw Sam glance at me, confusion evident.

  “Dig.” Her voice, like bell tones through cotton balls, whispered across my skin and I looked around for something to use. The utility shed was locked, and the only things I had on me were keys, flashlight, and some bendy straws that I stole from the restaurant where we’d had dinner earlier. None of those would work, so what…oh, no. Oh no, no, no.

  “If you want it so damned bad, get it yourself, but I refuse to hand-dig your grave. I’m not that desperate, okay? Besides, it would take all night, and I don’t have that kind of time.”

  “You promised you would help.”

  Well, hell, I did.

  “Uh, Emma? I hate to state the obvious here, but you’re talking to yourself, and it’s slightly creeping me out.” Sam edged towards the street, and I lay a hand on his arm, stopping him.

  “Please stay. I know this is super weird, and after I’m done, we’ll go somewhere, have a cup of hot cocoa, and I’ll try to explain why I did this. But in the meantime, I need you to watch the street in case any police cars come, k? Thanks,” I said, dropping to my knees.

  He looked back at me, appalled, as I shoveled handfuls of mud to the side, earthworms wriggling through my fingers, then down the street, arms crossed over his chest.

  It was grueling work, and my muscles started to scream at me in five different languages as I dug furiously, Margaret pacing back and forth behind me.

  “So, I had fun tonight,” I said, leaning my head against the pit long hours later, rubbing my dirty hands over my equally stained pants, and Sam rolled his eyes sideways at me. “I mean, I’m standing in an open grave, on top of a coffin, but everything before this was lovely.”

  “What are you going to do with the b-bod-” he choked on the words, gesturing into the pit.

  “Oh, I’m going to search it. Duh.”

  “So, you’re a grave robber.”

  It wasn’t an accusation-not really-and I pivoted, leaning over to pry the lid off the coffin.

  “Can you shine your light down here a minute?”

  “This is highly illegal, Emma.”

  “First of all, I can’t argue against that, but this freaks me out, too and I didn’t have a choice. Secondly, as soon as I finish here, I’ll never ever have to do anything like it again and third, well, you said you wanted adventure. Ta-da!”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose. “When I said that, I was thinking more along the lines of running naked through a fountain or driving out of town and seeing how far we got before turning around. Not disturbing someone’s grave.”

  “Look, Sam,” I said, rifling through Margaret’s pockets. “If you wanted to go out with someone completely normal, then I’m the wrong gal for you. Found it.” I held up a scrap of paper, and Margaret leaned over me.

  “Read it to me, please,” she said.

  “You’ll move on if I do this?”

  “I promise. Now, read.”

  “Margaret, I’m sorry about what I said to you the night you died. I didn’t mean any of it. If I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. I was frustrated, angry, and I took it all out on you. I’m sorry. You tried to comfort me when I needed it the most, and I lashed out at you. When you left home, it felt like a little piece of me died, and I would give anything to re-live that moment-do thing differently. I blame myself for your accident, and I can’t begin to imagine how alone you must’ve felt at that moment. I’m so very sorry, and I’ll love you forever. Richard.”

  “I was crying so hard that I didn’t see the semi truck that veered into my lane,” Margaret said softly, looking down at the note. “He shut me out for months, and every time I tried to get close and talk about what was bothering him, he left the room. Thank you for doing this for me, Emma. I’m okay now.”

  “That’s the saddest thing I’ve heard in a while,” Sam said. “Also, is it worth it to ask who you’re talking to?”

  Margaret’s spirit faded, and I sighed, closing the coffin lid as I scrambled out of the pit.

  What do I have to lose at this point? He already saw me dig up a grave, pick-pocket the corpse, and talk to myself.

  “Her spirit. Let me cover up her grave again, and then I’d love to get some food because I’m starving.”

  I spread some butter and syrup over the top of my pancake pile, spearing a piece of maple sausage as Sam watched me, hands wrapped tightly around his third cup of coffee.

  “You see dead people.”

  “I see whatever is left of their spirit right before they cross over to the other side.”

  “And tonight, you were talking to that woman’s spirit?”

  “I didn’t know her in life, and I don’t know her husband now. Can you come up with a better explanation for how I was able to find that note?”

  “Beyond simply getting lucky in your grave-robbing side job?”

  I stared at him
over the rim of my cup as he did the same, eyes locked with mine. There wasn’t much I could tell him without explaining everything, including all the Greek gods stuff, and that wasn’t an option. I blinked, choosing another path forward.

  “Hi, my name is Emma. I’m a Pisces with a moon in Sagittarius, I like long walks on the beach and in my free time I enjoy reading, writing, and talking to dead people. Did I forget anything?”

  “I’m not sure whether I should report you to the police or order another cup of coffee.”

  “I recommend the latter. The coffee is exceptionally good here.”

  “Look, it’s not every day that your prospective girlfriend tells you that she’s a psychic,” he said.

  “I can’t read minds, Sam.”

  “Medium?”

  “Sure, with one sugar, please,” I bit back, realizing the lameness of the joke as it slipped past my lips. “I didn’t tell you about the spirits to freak you out. That little favor Margaret asked for ended up taking longer than expected, and I understand that you have serious doubts about it and-wait-girlfriend?”

  “Prospective. I haven’t decided if I want to ask you out on another date or run screaming in the opposite direction.”

  Even with a smile, that stings.

  “When you decide, let me know. I’m not going to pretend that tonight is the last time that I’ll help a soul, because it happens every single day. If you’re not okay with that, you might not want to ask.”

  He drummed his fingers on the table, eyeing me. “It’s not that I don’t want to believe you, Emma, but it’s asking a lot-suspension of belief and all and I’m an engineer. Our first instinct is to find a logical explanation for things that seem unexplainable.”

  “Have you found one for tonight?”

  “Not yet but give me time.”

  “Well, I hope you don’t, because even if you did, I’d shoot it down and probably end up resenting you for even trying. I’m not going to apologize for who I am, or how I live my life, and you shouldn’t expect that of me. I need to go home.” I tossed my napkin on the table, gathering my things together as he reached out a hand to stop me.

  “You’re angry with me, aren’t you?”

  “No.” I shook him off, slapping a couple of dollar bills to the tab before shrugging my coat on.

  “You are, just admit it.”

  I felt a migraine forming, just like it did when…oh no. I glanced across the restaurant towards the front door in time to see a skeletal figure headed my direction and I clutched my keys until I felt the bite of metal in my palm.

  I’d been careful-I’d sent everyone onward except…Mrs. Marsh.

  Well, shit.

  And when I didn’t show up after my rendezvous with Margaret, she became…double shit!

  “Sam, I can’t talk about this right now, okay? I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  If I’m still here, in one piece.

  I ducked out the side exit, walking to my car as calmly as I could as my heart tried to beat its way out of my chest, and heard the bone-chilling breath rattle of death behind me a split second before a hand shot out, wrapping around my upper arm.

  I screeched, pivoting as my palm smacked into a rock-solid jaw. The man stumbled back, righting himself.

  “What the devil was that for?” Hades asked as I massaged my bruised fist, meeting his pissed-off gaze.

  “You should’ve known better than to surprise me like that. What are you doing here?”

  “Saving you.”

  He grabbed me again, positioning himself in front of me as the Fury stopped mid-stride, long blonde hair rippling around her face.

  “Hades. This isn’t your place to interfere.” Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

  “Actually, it is. She’s under my protection and because I wasn’t here to help her, she slipped up and created you. Don’t punish her for my mistake.”

  “You’re too soft on the women in your life,” she sneered, drifting closer. “It’s never their fault, they didn’t know what they were doing well, you want to know what I think? I think you’re weak. You allow them to hoodwink you with their feminine charms and because of it, you shoulder their blame. You can’t do that forever, so step aside.”

  “No.”

  “I didn’t ignore you on purpose,” I said, trying to step around Hades, who held his ground, arm out to stop me. “There were two of you to help and I made a choice. I’m sorry that I can’t be in two places at once, but that’s just the way it is.”

  “You had ample time to help her and then help me, but you walked away when it would’ve taken you minutes to send me onwards. You forgot your place, and there’s always a price.”

  Hades stepped forward. “She’ll die.”

  “That’s not my problem.”

  “Please-” he stopped, eyes on the ground and she smiled, ever so slightly. It was an awful thing to behold.

  “You’re so pathetic when you beg. She must be special for you to defend her this way.”

  “What do you want?” His voice, low and menacing, split the silence in the air and she paused, head quirked to one side in thought.

  “Elysium. I want you to send me to Elysium.”

  “Hades, don’t-that isn’t the right place for someone like-”

  “Done. What else?”

  “A promise. That for as long as she lives, she will never help another soul.”

  “Now wait just a damn second,” I said, wrestling myself out of Hades’ grip. “This deal is between the two of you, not me, so don’t invo-”

  “Done.”

  She smiled, fading from sight and I stomped away from him, clenching and unclenching my fists as murderous thoughts crossed my mind, most of them aimed at the man standing next to me, running a fingertip over his bottom lip as he stealthily avoided eye contact.

  “Why, Hades? Why would you do that? Just when I was beginning to get the hang of things?”

  “Emma, stop talking.”

  “No! You’re going to tell me right now why you just agreed to casually extinguish a piece of who I am like it meant nothing, all for that disgusting, spineless little bi-”

  He whirled around, hauling me up to his chest as his lips covered mine, running his hands up and down my back before twisting them through my hair, holding me in place.

  “I can’t lose you,” he said, pulling away slightly as our ragged breaths intermingled in the space between us. “I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that never happened, even if it cost me everything.”

  “But…why?”

  I licked my lips, tasting him on me-like cinnamon sugar wine with notes of clove and nutmeg-as my brain scrambled over the fact that he just kissed me, refusing to let it wander down the related path of what now?

  He traced the contours of my face with a fingertip. “When I thought about that Fury hurting you, I saw my life without you in it, and it was nearly unbearable. What she asked for in return was worth it.”

  “Hades, you took away my gift-the one thing that made me unique and useful to you for the rest of my life.”

  “For as long as you live, Emma and believe me, there’s a difference.”

  I looked back at him, confusion evident, as he steered us both towards my car. “There’s more to you than your ability to see spirits, but if you limit the scope of your life to that one aspect, you cheapen yourself. Let’s go home. People are staring.”

  Chapter Nine

  The Underworld, one week later

  I scanned the contract in front of me, pen poised above it as Hades paced back and forth across the length of the room, sipping absentmindedly at a glass of deep red port. We hadn’t talked about what happened outside of the restaurant and in many ways, I was actually grateful for it. His relief of having the Fury leave me alive and whole could have ended the moment we returned to the Underworld, despite the affection he’d shown me, and I realized that I was too scared to find out if that was the case.

  “I, Emma Bradley, swear
my life and fealty to Hades, Lord of the Underworld this day, December the twenty-second, two thousand and sixteen. In signing, I recognize that should I do anything to endanger myself, or my lord,” I paused, giggling at the ridiculous term, and saw Hades glare in my direction. I cleared my throat and continued. “Should I do anything to endanger myself or my lord, this contract becomes null and void, and my godhood revoked.”

  My head snapped up in surprise, hands trembling. “Godhood? You never said anything about me having to become a goddess. Not even when I asked you, directly, how you were going to find a loophole. You said, and I quote: ‘just trust me’. Swearing fealty to you, well, it’s a little archaic, to be honest, but I’m already tied to the Underworld itself, so that’s just an added level of entrapment. But taking away my mortality? That’s too much, even for you.”

  He placed his goblet down, splaying his fingers apart on the dining table. “I’m trying to keep you safe, Emma. Gods exist between life and death, which nullifies my agreement with the Furies. If you were to create another, which, let’s be honest here, is a very real possibility, given your track record, they wouldn’t be able to kill you. Please just sign it and let’s be done with this.”

  He pushed the paper towards me again and I hesitated, torn.

  “My whole family is in Portland. I don’t know that I can watch all of them grow old and die while I stayed young forever. I’d be all alone.”

  I dropped my eyes to the hand-scooped wooden table and heard the tap, tap, tap of boot heels as Hades joined me, gathering me in his arms. “You’ll never be alone, not while I exist.”

  I studied his face, anger and anxiety bubbling just beneath the surface, and shook my head. “I can’t sign it, Hades. I won’t.”

  He sighed heavily, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “I wish you’d reconsider. As long as you’re human, you’ll always be in danger from the Furies, and other unexpected threats.”

  “Like your family?”

  “You’re the first human who’s ever been here with any degree of permanence without being a freshly-made soul. They’re…curious.”