The Rocker That Needs Me (The Rocker...)

by Terri Anne Browning

  “Feeling better?” Harper asked, noticing my paleness.

  I was breathing through my mouth to keep from gaging. “Not really. I might need a bucket actually.”

  “Linc!” Harper yelled.

  “What?!” His voice came from down the hall, probably his bedroom.

  “We need your hangover bucket!” she told him.

  I grimaced. Linc had a hangover almost every Sunday morning, but instead of sleeping it off he worked through his sickness. Most of the time that meant carrying around what we had deemed “the hangover bucket,” which he threw up in when he had to, and then he went on about his day. Dallas swore she could still smell the contents even after it was bleached Monday mornings. I hoped that wasn’t the case today.

  Linc appeared with the little white waste basket. As he offered it to me, he frowned. “Want me to kick his ass?”

  I offered him a small smile. “Nah, but thanks for the offer.”

  He winked. “Anything for you, beautiful.”

  The phone by the door rang, and I felt my stomach churn because I knew in my heart who it was. I ached to see my sister, and in truth Jesse and Emmie too. But I knew that Drake would be with them. As Linc moved to answer the phone, my stomach heaved and I emptied my dinner from the night before into the hangover bucket.

  Shane’s hands were cool on my neck as he rubbed soothingly. A damp washcloth was put against my forehead by Harper, and I closed my eyes, fighting the next wave of sickness. When I thought I had control of it all, I raised my head.

  “Shane, I don’t want them to see me like this,” I whispered.

  He just nodded and lifted me into his arms. “I’ve got you, Lana,” he murmured as he carried me down the hall to my room.

  From the edge of my bed, I heard the front door open. Through the open bedroom door, I could hear the feminine voices of my sister and Emmie. There was a long pause between greetings as Jesse spoke to Linc and his guest. Well, fuck! I had forgotten about the new guy.

  “Shane, please make sure no one kills anyone while I brush my teeth,” I told him.

  “I’ll do my best,” he promised and closed the door behind him.

  Harper lingered. “Need any help?”

  I shook my head. “No, but thanks. Can you help him? They all have territory issues.”

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” She sighed. “Yell if you need me.”

  When the door shut behind her I stood and went into our shared bathroom. I scrubbed the taste of vomit out of my mouth and prayed that I wouldn’t have to do it again anytime soon. My hair looked like shit, and I pulled it up into a sloppy ponytail. As soon as I opened the bedroom door, I heard the raised male voices.

  Linc and Drake.

  I groaned, knowing that Drake was about to lose it. I should have introduced those two long before now, dammit!

  “No way!” Drake yelled. “You are not the roommate. She said you were gay…”

  “Dude, I am.” I reached the living room in time to see Linc point at the shirtless guy still sitting on the couch. “See? That’s the guy you saw me hanging out with last night. Remember? We talked for like twenty minutes last night, man. Me, you, Dallas, and Axton? Ring any bells there, man?”

  “Of course he doesn’t remember,” I answered for him. “If he was inhaling Jack Daniels like I suspect he was, then he would be lucky to remember his own name today.”

  “Angel…”

  For the first time I let my eyes go to him. He was pale, his eyes bloodshot and glassy. I remembered all the signs of his hangovers. I wondered how long he had spent with his head in the toilet that morning and if Emmie had to help him shower.

  “Don’t,” I told him. “Don’t ever use that word again.” It felt like poison now; him calling me Angel felt like a white hot dagger stabbing me in the heart.

  “Lana.” Layla’s cool hands touched my arm, and I turned my head to meet my sister’s gaze. “Baby, are you okay? You look a little green.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Layla.” More than anything I wanted her to just hold me, to rock me in her arms the way she had when I was a little girl. But I knew that I had to deal with Drake on my own. Already, I could feel the tears that had evaded me for hours stinging my sinuses.

  “I wish I could take last night back.” Drake’s voice had my head snapping around in his direction once more. He took several steps toward me, but my glare stopped him. “I know I let you down, Angel…”

  “I said don’t.”

  He faltered for just a second before clenching his jaw. “Nothing happened,” he informed me, sounding so sure.

  “And you know this because you remember? You know that nothing happened?” I demanded, not believing him for a minute.

  “No, I don’t remember anything from last night, Angel.” His shoulders drooped just a little. “But…”

  “But nothing!” I pulled away from my sister and took a step in his direction. “If you don’t remember, then how can you be so sure that nothing happened?”

  “Because your sister beat it out of Gabriella,” Jesse’s deep voice informed me.

  “I… What?” I demanded, turning to face my brother-in-law. “She did what?”

  Jesse had a look of pride on his face and a half-grin tilting his lips. “Yeah, I know. It was so hot. Between her and Em, I think the bitch is bald in a few places.”

  I was sure if my world wasn’t falling apart right at that moment I would have laughed. My spit fire sister kicking Gabriella Moreitti’s ass? I would have paid money to see that! But I was in no mood to laugh. “She admitted that nothing happened and you believed her?”

  Jesse shrugged. “She may have only been saying that to get Layla off of her. Not that it worked. I had to pull her off. Em, what was your take? Do you think she was lying?”

  Emmie had been quietly standing by the door. Her gaze taking everything in, missing nothing. When her green eyes met mine, I saw that she really had believed the other woman.

  “I doubt that anything happened. Drake hadn’t had a drink in months. That much liquor in his system...he was probably useless below the waist.”

  My eyes closed as hope flowed through me, but it was short lived. One night away from Drake and our lives—our future together—was all washed down the drain. “It wouldn’t be the first time that he was that drunk and was able to function,” I whispered.

  “What are you saying, Lana?” Layla asked, but I could hear in her voice that she knew what I was telling her. “You...?”

  I didn’t answer her as I forced my gaze to meet Drake’s. “You can’t remember anything, but until you do, I won’t ever believe that you didn’t have sex with her.”

  He swallowed hard. “I’ll never remember, Lana.”

  “Yeah, I know. Just like you will never remember our night together.” His head snapped back as if I had punched him.

  “Our night together?” He sounded strangled.

  I knew that telling him now would only hurt him, but the bitch in me just didn’t care. I was hurting, and I wanted him to hurt just as much. I wanted him to hurt more! “The night before Jesse and Layla got married? The night you took my virginity? I’m sure that night is a blank hole in your mind. Probably why you don’t know why I was so shattered the next night when I heard you fucking some slut against the hotel room door that separated our rooms.”

  “No!” He was in front of me in just a few steps, his grip on my arms so tight it was painful. “Tell me that it didn’t happen!” he demanded.

  “I can’t.” I jerked out of his hold. There was no need to slap his face, not when he was already beaten from my admission.

  “Are you done, now?” Emmie asked, calm as always. “Do you maybe want to pull out his heart and stomp on it too?”

  “I think she just did that,” Shane muttered for the first time, joining in. “And he has no one to blame but himself, Em.”

  “She knew that it would destroy him.” Emmie pointed at me, looking wild. “She knew that she had all
the power here, and she used it against him! If she loved him the way everyone seems to think she does, she never would have done that.”

  Her words were like a slap to my face. I couldn’t find the words to defend myself against her because part of me knew that she was right. I stared at the man that stood with his head hung, tears falling form his eyes, and knew that I had made this mess. This was all my fault…

  “She used it to protect herself! Drake is a grown man, he makes his own mistakes. Stop putting his mess on her shoulders.”

  I didn’t even hear Shane’s words. His voice was just background noise to me as I fought the urge to vomit. I had made a mess of my life, and I had ruined the future I had wanted so badly with Drake. With a pain filled cry, I turned and ran down the hall toward my room.

  Chapter 22

  Drake

  I didn’t know what to expect as I left my apartment with my out of town guests. Emmie flagged down a taxi as soon as we were out on the street, and I was the last to slide into the back. Layla gave me a grim little smile as Emmie gave the driver the address from the front seat.

  I tried to return her smile, but my face felt frozen.

  The ride felt like it took an eternity, but it was over far too soon. I was torn between wanting to hurry and fix this and wanting to put it off in hopes that it would just fix itself. When we reached Lana’s building, we had to wait downstairs until someone let us up because Emmie and Layla had never been there before.

  Some muscle head guy answered the door, and I noticed a shirtless guy seated on the couch that I had to assume was Linc because he was checking me out as soon as we stepped inside the apartment.

  “Who the hell is this?” Jesse demanded.

  Muscle Head glanced at the guy on the couch. “He’s with me.”

  Shane came from down the hall, and I wondered if he had been in Lana’s room. “It’s cool, Jess. Lana is safe.”

  “Random guys come in and out of this place regularly?” Jesse asked, his brow furrowed and his eyes stormy. He sounded like a protective father.

  “Not as often as you would think.” Linc tried to put him at ease.

  “Linc would never let anyone hurt us.” Harper appeared behind Shane, her hand touching his back before stepping around him. “There’s isn’t anything to worry about.”

  “I don’t like it,” Jesse grumbled but didn’t comment further. How could he without sounding like a hypocrite after all the years we had put Emmie in the line of one night stands? Some of those girls were dangerous in their own right, but Emmie had been able to take care of them.

  “Linc, I think I’m going to go, man…” Shirtless said, eyeing us all with apprehension now.

  That caught me off guard. Muscle Head was Linc? I couldn’t picture him as gay. He was too…Not! “No way! You are not the roommate. She said you were gay…”

  “Dude, I am.” He pointed at the shirtless guy still sitting on the couch. “See? That’s the guy you saw me hanging out with last night. Remember? We talked for like twenty minutes last night, man. Me, you, Dallas, and Axton? Ring any bells there, man?”

  “Of course he doesn’t remember.” Lana’s voice had my head snapping around. She looked pale, sick. My heart constricted. I did this to her! “If he was inhaling Jack Daniels like I suspect he was, then he would be lucky to remember his own name today.”

  “Angel…” I took a step toward her.

  “Don’t.” Her voice was cold. “Don’t ever use that word again.”

  Layla moved closer to her sister. She said something but I could only focus on Lana. Her shirt was three times too big on her, her yoga pants something that I had seen a thousand times. Her hair was a mess even pulled back into a ponytail. There was sweat on her upper lip and across her forehead, and I wondered if she was feeling ill.

  “I wish I could take last night back,” I told her, taking a few more steps closer. Maybe if I could just hold her everything would be okay. Her glare stopped me. “I know I let you down, Angel…”

  “I said don’t.”

  The words came out as a whisper, but they felt like they were shouted inside my head. She didn’t want me to call her Angel. It was understandable after everything I had put her through during the last twenty-four hours. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. “Nothing happened.”

  “And you know this because you remember? You know that nothing happened?”

  “No, I don’t remember anything from last night, Angel. But…”

  “But nothing! If you don’t remember, then how can you be so sure that nothing happened?”

  “Because your sister beat it out of Gabriella,” Jesse’s assured her.

  “I… What? She did what?”

  Jesse had a look of pride on his face and a half-grin tilting his lips. “Yeah, I know. It was so hot. Between her and Em, I think the bitch is bald in a few places.”

  “She admitted that nothing happened and you believed her?” I thought there might have been hope in her voice.

  Jesse shrugged. “She may have only been saying that to get Layla off of her. Not that it worked. I had to pull her off. Em, what was your take? Do you think she was lying?”

  “I doubt that anything happened. Drake hadn’t had a drink in months. That much liquor in his system...he was probably useless below the waist.”

  I wasn’t in the least embarrassed to have Emmie talk about the probability of my dick working or not. If anything, I was relieved that she thought that. Maybe it would help convince Lana…

  Lana’s eyes closed and I thought she was relieved, that everything was going to be alright now… Her next words made my head spin. “It wouldn’t be the first time that he was that drunk and was able to function,” she whispered.

  “What are you saying, Lana?” Layla asked. “You...?”

  Lana’s gaze locked with mine. “You can’t remember anything, but until you do, I won’t ever believe that you didn’t have sex with her.”

  I swallowed hard, knowing that she was telling me that unless I did remember, we were over. “I’ll never remember, Lana.”

  “Yeah, I know. Just like you will never remember our night together.”

  I felt like someone had actually punched me in the gut. “Our night together?” My voice was weak.

  “The night before Jesse and Layla got married? The night you took my virginity?” Her whisky eyes were on fire. “I’m sure that night is a blank hole in your mind. Probably why you don’t know why I was so shattered the next night when I heard you fucking some slut against the hotel room door that separated our rooms.”

  “No!” I moved without even realizing I was doing so. I grasped her arms, holding on to her even though I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to hold on to us. “Tell me that it didn’t happen!”

  “I can’t.” She jerked away from me.

  A sob seemed to be trapped in my chest, tears spilled, but I didn’t care. The last nail was being hammered into my coffin, and I didn’t know how to stop it. I was defenseless to stop the pain that was starting to consume me.

  Emmie and Shane’s raised voices didn’t even penetrate the darkness surrounding me. Lana ran away from me, and I knew that my world had official stopped. Cold, gentle fingers touched my arm, and I blinked my eyes to see through my tears. Layla stood beside of me, her face a mixture of emotions. “I know this is hard, but you have to go. Jesse is going to kill you, Drake.”

  I glanced at my friend, seeing the storm building with each passing second. “Let him,” I told her. An end to the pain I was feeling would be welcomed…

  --

  I don’t know how I ended up on the floor.

  One minute I was standing in Lana’s living room, feeling the worst pain of my life, the next I was out cold. Emmie was leaning over me, her hand firmly tapping me on the cheek as she yelled my name over and over again. “Drake!”

  I blinked, unable to keep my eyes open for longer than a second or two before I had to close them again. “Fuck!” I exclaimed,
raising a hand to touch my throbbing jaw. “What happened?”

  A shadow appeared over me, and I squinted up at my brother. “Layla tried to warn you, bro. Jesse has a freaking badass right hook on him.” The brief glance I got of Shane’s face told me he wasn’t feeling any empathy for me. “You’ve been out for about two minutes.”

  I groaned, turning on my side so I could try to get up. “Where’s Lana?” I demanded.

  “In her room. Probably throwing up again.” I shot Shane a frown as I straightened. “She hasn’t been in the best shape this morning. Finding her boyfriend asleep with another woman’s naked ass against his crotch tends to turn a girl’s stomach.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered, running a shaking hand through my hair. “I need to talk to her.”

  “You need to go home.” Emmie’s cool voice told me, and I turned to look down at her. “Jesse is holding onto his temper by his fingernails. Layla pushed him down the hall so he wouldn’t kill you.”

  “I’m not leaving until I talk to Lana,” I told her, pushing past my brother and heading toward Lana’s bedroom. Jesse’s punch must have knocked some sense into me because I was seeing things more clearly now. If I didn’t talk to her now, didn’t see her now, then I was going to lose her forever.

  The muscle head stood in my way when I reached the hall that led to the bedrooms. Linc was a hulking brute, even bigger than Jesse in size and muscle. “Leave her alone, man. I don’t want to kick your ass.”

  He was bigger than me, outweighed me by at least twenty pounds of pure muscle, but I wasn’t in the frame of mind to care. I had only one goal and that was to get to Lana, to plead and beg for one more chance. No one was going to keep me from her.

  “Lana!” Harper’s scream was full of fear. Linc didn’t even hesitate; he just turned and ran down the hall. Everyone followed, and I pushed through the masses of family and roommates to get into Lana’s room.