Rowan
Page 16
“I’ve tried and tried with you, but I can’t do it anymore,” Rowan said. His words were as cool and clear as ice water. “This isn’t going to work between us. I can’t try to build a relationship with a woman who goes to my brother instead of coming to me every time she needs something.”
Raw hurt raked through Akayie’s body at Rowan’s words, making her take a step back from him. If he wanted to end what they were building over something stupid as her asking Morgan about him, then she wasn’t going to fight it.
Let him end things with them. It wasn’t going to hurt her one bit.
“Fine, I’m not going to argue with you. I only asked Morgan about you because I was concerned you would act just like you did. I won’t force you to keep trying to see where this will lead between us.”
“Akayie, you’re twisting my words. I didn’t mean it how it came out,” Rowan apologized, taking a step towards her. “Will you just listen to me for a minute?”
“No, I have listened and listened to you, but you are still telling me nothing. You don’t want our relationship to move any further and I won’t fight you on it anymore. Just let me get through the next few days and I will be out of your life. That is the way you have honestly wanted it since I walked onto Braden Ranch and tonight I’m going to give you your wish. Good night, Rowan.”
Turning on her heel, Akayie had only walked a few steps before warm fingers wrapped around her arm and spun her back around. She glanced down at Rowan’s fingers and then up at his face. She saw the disbelief written across his handsome face.
“Are you serious right now?” he questioned. “Do you actually expect me to let you walk away without trying to find the words to make you stay?”
“Rowan, there isn’t anything you can tell me to make me think you want to build a future with me. Please let go of my arm. I want to go inside. I have to get up early tomorrow. I need to get some sleep.”
“You weren’t complaining about getting any sleep when you were in my arms earlier,” he pointed out, pulling her closer to his warm body. “Let’s forget about what I said and go back to that moment. I swear I won’t get jealous of Morgan again.”
Forgive him…Go back and let him wrap you back up in those strong arms of his.
Akayie shook the sudden thought from her mind. She couldn’t let Rowan keep pulling her in all these different directions. She needed a man who would be there for her and she thought he might be that man, but it seemed like she was wrong. She had to let him go before she fell any harder for him that she already had.
“Rowan, I can’t do it. Please let go of my arm. I want to go back inside,” she answered.
Minutes seemed to tick by while Rowan stared down at her not moving, and then slowly he removed his hand from around her elbow and took a step back. “I’m not going to let you just end things like this between us. I know that you care about me as much as I care about you.”
Akayie opened her mouth and then closed it. She couldn’t get into this again with Rowan. It wasn’t going to do either one of them any good. Turning on her heel, she walked back across the grass towards the sliding glass doors that led to Rowan’s office. She could feel his eyes on her all the way there, but she never looked back at him, not once.
Standing there with the sounds of nature alive around him, Rowan’s eyes followed Akayie as she stormed away from him. Her image got smaller and smaller the closer she got to the ranch. He started after her and then hesitated, torn by conflicting emotions. He had never felt this away about a woman before. He always wanted them to walk away and not become too clingy for him. He wasn’t interested in a commitment when they always were, time and time again.
Now, he was beginning to believe he had finally found the one woman he might be ready to commit to, and she was walking away from him because of a stupid misunderstanding. Akayie’s beautiful brown eyes didn’t have that usual spark in them when she looked at him. Even when they were having one of their stupid arguments over nothing, it had been there when she looked at him. But not a few minutes ago; she looked like she was truly done fighting for them and it made his head swirl with doubts.
What happened to the woman that loved the verbal battles with him? Akayie never walked away from a fight since the first moment he confronted her by the corral all those weeks ago. He was more shaken than he cared to admit, but one thing was for sure.
Rowan wasn’t going to let Akayie read anything more into their conversation than there was. He had to set a few things straight before she allowed her mind to imagine something that wasn’t there in his words.
Moving away from the old oak tree, he went after her, already preparing himself for a fight that was bound to happen. However, he didn’t care since he was more than ready to prove his point. Akayie was meant to be in his life for more than these few remaining days. Now, all he had to do was make her see reason.
* * * *
Upstairs in her bedroom, Akayie walked around, fighting down the urge to pack her bags and leave the ranch tonight. She couldn’t believe that Rowan still believed she actually wanted Morgan over him. How many times did she have to tell him that he was seeing something that wasn’t there?
She was so close to opening up to him about her secret. Thank God, she had enough restraint to keep it to herself. She couldn’t imagine what his reaction would be if he ever found out.
“God, I need to find Danya and see if she will take over this project for me,” she said to herself. “I need to go back home.”
She was tired of all this back and forth between her and Rowan. It was time for them to end things, and if he couldn’t do it then she could. Maybe if she was lucky she would be able to catch a flight tonight. If not, there had to be something available tomorrow morning.
“You aren’t going anywhere, so get that damn crazy idea out of your head,” a deep voice said from the open doorway.
Gasping, Akayie spun around and found Rowan watching her with that familiar steady gaze of his. God, she was really going to miss the hell out of him when she left, but she had to go and there was nothing he could say or do to stop her from leaving.
“I’m leaving. I should have left weeks ago, but I thought we were… never mind,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I just think it would be for the best if Danya finished up the last of the photos for the calendar. I need to get back to New York anyway. I still have a photography studio that I need to run.”
“I usually don’t repeat myself,” Rowan said, watching her, “but I will do it for you, beautiful. You aren’t leaving, we have a few things to discuss. I think you misunderstood me outside and when I wanted to explain you left me standing there.”
Coming further into her bedroom, Rowan watched as Akayie’s beautiful eyes grew wider. He liked how she made him feel by taking all his stress away any time her hands touched his body. She was so damn stunning. He didn’t know why he wasted so much time in the beginning ignoring his feelings for her.
“We can’t do this,” she said, taking a step closer to the bed.
“Yes, we can.” Rowan took a step closer, making the distance between them smaller, just the way he wanted it.
“Didn’t you just say outside that this wasn’t going to work between us?” Akayie pointed out. “How neither one of us should start something we won't be able to finish? You know that I’m going back home to New York pretty soon. Let’s just have fun with each other and not make it into more than it is.”
“I lied,” he admitted. He gently drew her body against his, running his thumb over her full bottom lip. He could only take so much temptation and Akayie had pushed him over his limit. It was beyond time that they gave into this powerful pull between them.
“Do you know how I used to think about kissing you when you first came to the ranch? I would stand in front of my office window extremely jealous of my men. They seemed to be able to talk to you about anything and make you laugh. Anytime I got closer to you, I found ways to piss you off, but tonight I’m going to show
you a different side of me.”
“Rowan, I’m serious. You have to listen to me. We can’t do this,” Akayie moaned, trying to move her head away, but Rowan tightened his grip.
“Baby, all I want is just one little kiss. It’s not like we haven’t done it before,” he whispered the words against Akayie’s lips a second before his mouth captured hers.
* * * *
Akayie wasn’t prepared for the kiss that Rowan gave her. She thought it would be hard and filled with unleashed hunger. However, his lips moved over hers slowly and thoroughly like he wanted to burn the memory of kissing her into his mind.
Just when she thought the kiss was over, Rowan eased his arm around her waist, pulling her against his hard chest. He flicked his tongue against the corner of her mouth, asking permission to enter. She opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to sneak inside. He ran his tongue over the top of her teeth, making tiny shivers race down her spine.
Moaning in the back of her throat, Akayie wrapped her arms around Rowan’s neck and got lost inside their kiss. She knew that she should push him away, but it had been such a long time since a man had made her feel this wanted and special. He knew how to stroke her body.
“Sweetheart, you taste so unbelievable. I can’t believe I almost missed being able to kiss you because of my jealousy,” Rowan whispered. “I won’t ever make that mistake again,”
Leaning back in his arms, she looked into Rowan’s eyes. “I should be pushing you away from me instead of allowing you to kiss me because I know in the next five minutes we will be arguing about something stupid.”
“If you don’t want us fighting, let’s find another way for us to use our bodies,” Rowan suggested as he stared into Akayie’s eyes.
“Oh, bet you already have an idea in mind, don’t you?” she teased, liking this new side of Rowan.
Easing his hand between their bodies, Rowan cupped her breasts in his hand, running his thumbnail over her hard nipple. “This tells me that you are thinking the same thing as me.”
“I could just be cold,” Akayie tossed back.
“Let me see if I can find a way to warm you up.” Lowering his head, Rowan ran his tongue on her shirt over her hard nipple.
Moaning, Akayie squirmed in Rowan’s strong arms. He raised his head, staring down into her eyes. “Let me make love to you. I’ve been fighting this for as long as I can, but I can’t wait any longer. I want you so badly and I know you want me too…please, baby.”
Yes, the single word was on her lips before reality sadly set in. Akayie had dreamt about Rowan being in her bed for weeks now, but it couldn’t happen. Once he found out her secret, he would reject her just like every other man had.
She shook her head. “We can’t. I don’t mix business with pleasure. It would be very unprofessional of me to do something that I’m always warning Danya about. I can’t break my own rule.”
“What rule is that?” Rowan asked.
“I’ve never slept with any of my clients. I never have and I never will,” she lied. Except for you.
God, just tell the man the truth and let the cards fall where they will, her mind taunted. He could be different, but you will never know unless you put yourself out there.
“Fine, I know how to fix that problem. You’re fired.”
Shocked, Akayie moved back from Rowan, staring at him with her mouth open. “How can you fire me? I haven’t done anything to breach the contact we signed.”
“I will fire you again and again, if it means I get to date you. I won’t allow some silly rule you’ve made to keep you away from me. So, now that you are fired we can finish what we started.” Wrapping his fingers around her wrist, Rowan tugged her back against his body and kissed her before she could put up another fight.
Akayie wanted to stop Rowan. She really did, but the feel of his strong hands on her body was breaking down all her barriers. She wasn’t going allow her past to dictate her future anymore. She was going to live in the moment and take whatever came from it. Rowan moved his mouth from her lips to travel kisses down her neck, drawing her tender flesh into his waiting mouth.
Moaning, Akayie ran her fingers through his thick hair. His large hands took her face and held it gently. He nibbled at her already swollen lips. “You taste so good,” he whispered on her mouth. “I could just get lost in kissing you, sweetheart. Your mouth is made for mine and I’m going to enjoy every damn second of it.”
Pressing her body to his, Akayie deepened the kiss, which made her crave his body. Cupping her butt in his hands, Rowan wrapped Akayie’s long legs around his waist. “Damn, I’ve wasted so much time fighting you when we could have been doing this instead,” he admitted, staring into her eyes. “How could I have been so stupid for these past few weeks?”
Looking into his eyes, she said, “I don’t know. You were the one who kept pushing me away every time I got too close, but can we stop talking because I’m more than ready to be with you.”
Grinning, he swept her into his arms and moved toward the bedroom. Tossing her on the bed, Rowan unbuttoned his shirt, flinging it to the floor. Akayie raised up on her elbows to look at his chiseled body, glad it was all hers for at least tonight.
Licking her lips seductively, Akayie saw how his stance emphasized the force of his thighs and the sliminess of his hips. Dropping her eyes lower, she couldn’t help but see how much he wanted her. It made her feel like a desirable woman, because the men in her past never did that.
Rowan rested a knee on the edge of the bed, using his hands to slide her soft dress up past her hips. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted to come outside and find you while you were taking pictures and bring you upstairs? I had many fantasies about making love to you all over the house,” he whispered, running his fingers over her bare skin. His fingers brushed the inside of her thighs, slowly driving her crazy.
Closing her eyes, her head fell back on the mattress. “Did you ever dream about me when you were alone in your room?” he questioned as he unbuttoned her dress. One by one they popped open until she lay beneath him in her underwear. Sucking in a deep breath, Rowan placed kisses on her full breasts straining to break free of her bra.
He worked on the front clasp until it came open freeing what he wanted the most. Opening his mouth, he pulled in one hard nipple, loving it only the way he could. Purring in the back of her throat, she pressed closer to him, totally lost in the sensations he was causing in her body. After he finished with one Rowan moved one to the other while his hands removed her underwear, tossing them to the floor.
“You didn’t answer me,” he murmured.
“I thought about you more than I should have. Honestly, your arrogance should have turned me off, but every night my dreams were filled with only you,” she whispered, opening her eyes. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind since the first day I saw your handsome face.”
“Good, that’s what I wanted to hear,” he said, standing up quickly to remove the rest of his clothing. Gently he lay back on her damp body, brushing this thick cock against her pussy so she could feel how much he wanted her.
Lifting her up off the bed with one hand, Rowan finished removing the dress, flinging it across the room. With her in his arms, his hands moved gently down the length of her body, touching her unevenness of her back.
Akayie felt Rowan’s hands stop instantly and her heart started to pound. She knew what was coming next. Raising his head, Rowan stared down into her face. She quickly closed her eyes, blocking out the stunned looked on his face.
“Akayie, look at me,” he whispered.
Opening her eyes, Akayie swallowed down her pain as tears filled her eyes. Rowan was going to be like every other guy from her past. The only difference was she never let it get this far with them. Once they removed her shirt and saw her back, they always found an excuse to leave. No one could handle how it looked or felt.
She swallowed the difficulty and found her voice as she felt a terrible tenseness enter her body. With a pang, she re
alized she couldn’t hide from Rowan any longer. She would have to tell him the truth and prayed he wouldn’t react like the other men had.
“Sweetheart, why does your back feel like this?” he asked. “Is there something wrong with it?”
Scooting away from Rowan, Akayie nodded. “Yes, there is. I…I…” Tears poured down her cheeks as she tried to find the words. No other’s man opinion of her appearance mattered now after meeting Rowan, but she was falling in love with him and she couldn’t handle the look of pity or disgust on his face when he finally saw her secret.
It would just be too much.
She grabbed a sheet and covered her body from Rowan. She didn’t want him to see her. She tried to ease off the bed, but Rowan’s strong fingers wrapped around her arm. “Don’t. Why are you leaving? Answer me,” he said, watching her. “What’s wrong? Is there something I should know about?”
“I can’t. I don’t want you to give me the same look as other men have. Once they saw I wasn’t the ‘perfect picture’ woman they had in their minds, they left as quickly as possible. I won’t let you do that to me. I wouldn’t be able to handle your rejection,” she admitted softly.
“Akayie, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rowan said, confused. “I just asked you a question about your back and you got upset instantly.”
“Words aren’t needed once you see it.” Taking a deep breath, Akayie turned around until her entire back was completely visible to Rowan. “See, I’m not as beautiful as you think I am.”
Seconds ticked by as the silence stretched between them, and Akayie’s secret fears of Rowan’s rejecting her got worse. Just as she was about to bolt off the bed, she suddenly felt warm lips kissing her back. Stunned, her head whipped around as her eyes connected with Rowan’s as his mouth planted soft kisses all over her burnt, scarred skin.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, trying to move away, but Rowan wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.