Rowan
Page 22
Spinning around, Akayie stared at the last person she ever wanted to see again. Her pulse began to beat erratically at seeing Rowan this close to her. She sought to erect a wall of defense against him. The silence lengthened between them, making her even more uncomfortable.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded. “Why did you follow me here? Did you follow me to insult or hurt me more than you already have?”
“God no,” Rowan said, moving towards her, making Akayie take a step back.
“Don’t you dare come any closer to me,” she said, pointing a finger in his direction. “I don’t want you anywhere near me. Not now…not ever. Do you hear me?”
Rowan stopped in his tracks. She clenched her hand trying to keep calm as she eyed the door behind him. She would never be able to get out of her office without coming in close contact with him.
“Akayie, please, baby, listen to me,” he pleaded in a low voice. “I didn’t come all this way to hurt you. I love you. I haven’t been able to do anything since you left me. I’m lost without you. Please forgive me. I never, and I mean never, thought any of those things about you. You have to believe me.”
“No, I won’t let you tell me some lies hoping I will believe them. Honestly, I don’t ever know why I believed you cared about me. You hated me on sight and just used me as some form of amusement until you were done. I hate myself for falling in love with you, but I will get over it.” She headed for the door, but Rowan quickly moved in her way, blocking her path.
“No, I won’t let my drunken words ruin what I had made with you, sweetheart,” he said, staring down into her eyes. “I fought what I felt for you for weeks, but Morgan and Lucas saw it way before I did. I had gotten so used to being alone that I wasn’t able to handle needing someone, especially someone like you.”
Akayie flinched, taking a step back as Rowan’s words hit her. “Oh, you mean a woman’s whose burned and scarred back reminds you of a movie horror villain? I believe those were your words back in Texas. Well, not to worry. We won’t have to deal with each other much longer. We will both be able to move on with our lives.”
A swift shadow of disbelief swept across Rowan’s handsome face and she hated herself for even noticing it. The long, deep look they exchanged infuriated her. She wasn’t supposed to care if her words hurt him or not. This was her moment to get her strength back and not give a damn about Rowan Braden. He had everything he wanted and needed back in Texas.
“I’m not going to move on with anything else,” he stated, closing the distance between them.
Wrapping his hands around her upper arm, Rowan pulled her against his body. Her heart hammered against her ribs as Rowan’s heated gaze held hers. “You can’t tell me to go back into the hell I was living in before you came into my life. I never thought of you as cruel before, but telling me to move on with someone else is just that.”
“Rowan, listen to me…”
“No, I have listened to you from the second I walked into this room and now you will do the listening to me,” he said, cutting her off. “I spent years and years running from my childhood, my disappointment and loneliness after Dante left our family because of my parents. I built this wall around me and everything I valued at Braden Ranch.
“I kept telling everyone who would listen that I was fine with my life just the way it was. I didn’t need or want any kind of attachments, that I would need to be depended on for anything. Hell, I liked the nickname ‘The Loner.’ I was perfectly fine until this gorgeous, spunky woman came into my world that didn’t know how to follow directions.”
She shook her head as she struggled to get free. “You don’t think I’m gorgeous, so stop lying to me and let me go. I have been away from the showing way too long. I need to get back there.”
He gave her a small shake. “Stop running from me. Don’t you know by now that I’m not giving up on you or us? Anywhere you go I will follow you there. The ranch doesn’t mean a thing to me now. I don’t care if I even have a horse that wins the Derby. All of that is meaningless without you there to share it with.” A strange, faintly eager look flashed in his eyes.
Akayie stopped trying to get free, but she was torn about what to do. Rowan sounded so sincere, but what if he got angry again and tossed her scars back in her face? Her pride had been seriously bruised by his words and she honestly didn’t know if she could look at Rowan again without hearing them replaying inside her head.
“You’re saying all of the right words to make my heart melt, but when you don’t get what you want, Rowan, you have a way of saying what comes into your head without thinking it through. I can’t let you have my heart again only to stomp on it.”
Slowly, Rowan let go of her arm and took a step back from her. His hazel eyes became flat and unreadable as stone. “I really have lost you, haven’t I? Morgan warned me one day my quick temper would cost me something amazing, and the day has come. All of my sins from my past have come back and taken you from me.”
She took a quick sharp breath at the pain in Rowan’s voice. He didn’t look like the confident man that argued with her at Braden Ranch. He looked broken, alone, and lost. She stared wordlessly at him as he headed towards to door, her heart pounding away.
What if he really felt remorse for what happened? Was she tossing away at a chance at true love because she wasn’t able to forgive Rowan?
“Akayie, I’m sorry for what I did to you,” Rowan said, reaching for the doorknob. “I want you to know that I not only loved you, but I was in love with you. I will always remember everything you brought into my life because I know I will never feel this way again about anyone else. I love you, Akayie, and nothing will ever change my feelings for you.”
Don’t you dare let him walk out that door, her mind screamed.
“I love you too.”
Spinning around, Rowan’s shocked eyes caught hers across the room. “What did you say?”
Akayie tossed the last of her fears away. If she couldn’t stop living in the past she might not ever have a future. It was time to make her own future and she was going to do it with the handsome man watching and waiting for her answer.
“I said that I still love you too, Rowan.”
Rowan rushed over to her and picked her up into his arms. He carried her over to the couch in her office and sat down with her in his lap. Rowan cupped her face in his hands, staring into her eyes.
“Baby, I thought I would never be able to hold you like this again,” Rowan confessed. “You have to know that I didn’t mean any of those words I said to you. It tore me apart when Morgan told me about what happened. I was so drunk that I barely remembered anything the next day. I wanted to call you so badly, but I was scared I would only make things worse. So I just let time go by. I knew I would be seeing you again and I vowed when I came to New York that I wouldn’t leave here until you forgave me. Do you believe me, Akayie? Do you believe I love you more than anything in this world?”
Akayie touched the side of Rowan’s face with her hand. “Yes, I believe you love me. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Thank God. I’m not ever going to let you go now that I got you back. We can start planning the wedding and…”
“No.”
Rowan frowned at her. “What do you mean no?”
“I don’t want to get married,” she answered.
He leaned back from her. “You haven’t truly forgiven me, have you? That’s why you don’t want to marry me.”
“Rowan, I’m just not ready to take that step yet with you. I still need more time to…”
“Forget what I said,” he cut in, hurt in his deep voice. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“I told you that I love you and it’s the truth, but I’m not sure about getting married.”
Rowan gave her a quick kiss and then moved back. “I will let you have this time to clear your mind of that night, but I want you to understand one thing, Ms. Akayie Mathis,” he said, running his finger over her bottom lip.
/> “What is that?” she answered.
“I’m not the kind of man who likes to wait when he sees something he wants, because I go after it and it will only be worse for you. I love you more than anything I ever have in my entire life. You will be Mrs. Rowan Braden and that is a promise.”
“Or is it?” Akayie grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“You better believe it, beautiful,” Rowan promised before capturing her mouth for another kiss.
The End
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marie Rochelle is a bestselling, multi-published interracial romance author.
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