Sinister Magic: An Urban Fantasy Dragon Series (Death Before Dragons Book 1)

by Lindsay Buroker

  The side door opened, and Nin walked out, her blue hair swept up in two perky pigtails, and a unicorn on her pink T-shirt. A few smudges of grease and weapons-cleaning oil marred the hem, but it didn’t keep her from looking ridiculously cute, especially standing next to the present company. She carried in her slender arms something that looked a lot like a Civil War Gatling gun complete with a crank handle. Everyone turned, their attention riveted to it. Even I, not a weapons enthusiast despite my armament, had to admit it looked awesome. I wanted to find someone to fire it at. A black dragon, perhaps.

  The men listened with rapt attention as she described its dimensions and automatic function, demonstrating how to load and fire it. There was something ludicrous about someone who looked so sweet and with such a polite, earnest voice rattling off the morbid details.

  “The bullets are in these packages.” Nin grabbed paper wraps off the shelf of the food window that looked exactly like the ones she used to pass out her meals. “These are tipped with a paralysis poison.” She handed the first wrap to the shifter. “These are incendiary and will blow shit up when they hit. And these will just kill the motherfucker.”

  “Perfect.” The shifter handed over a wad of cash.

  Nin carefully counted it, then slipped it into her jeans pocket, the seam lined with rhinestones. “A pleasure doing business with you gentlemen.”

  The shifter handed the big weapon to his sock-ball-owning buddy to carry and headed for the street. Sock Ball winked at me, hefting the machine gun. “Now whose weapon is bigger?”

  “You win, buddy. Don’t forget to lube it.”

  “Never.” He winked again, and I was positive he believed we would inevitably get horizontal the next time we met.

  “Nin,” I said as the men left, “I like your lunch customers better.”

  “Yes, but my night customers pay so much better.” She smiled and patted her pocket.

  “You getting close to having enough to bring your family over yet?”

  “Not yet, but one day. My family is very large, and I want to bring everyone to America. Now, there is Grandma and Mother and my seven sisters all living in a two-bedroom apartment. Only my brother has been able to afford to move out, but he does not make enough to help them. I want to be able to buy my family a house here, so they do not have to worry about working and paying rent right away, but it is very expensive. A house costs much more here than in Bangkok.”

  “Maybe you can set them up in the suburbs, and they can open a restaurant. Didn’t you say your grandmother was the one to teach you to cook?”

  “Yes, this is true. And my grandfather taught me to make magic guns.” She smiled. “It is sad for my family that he disappeared, and everyone had to move into the city. There are so few opportunities there. Not like here. I am living the American dream.”

  “I’m not going to argue that. You make more than I do.”

  “An entrepreneur must be a marketer, Val. You should make clever videos and advertise on the socials. This is what I do for my food truck.”

  “I think they arrest you if you advertise assassin services online. But hey, with the way this week is going, it probably doesn’t matter.”

  She tilted her head, one of her pigtails flopping onto her shoulder. “You are in trouble? Did you break Fezzik again?”

  “No, Fezzik is good.”

  “You have acquired the services of a bodyguard?” She looked at Dimitri.

  “No, a chauffeur. This is Dimitri. Listen, I’m trying to find out who’s been tinkering with dark-elf alchemy to poison my boss. You have any dark elves for clients?”

  “Oh, no. I have only heard rumors about them. They do not come up here.” She waved to the street and the square. “And they do not purchase goods from outsiders. Have you spoken to Zoltan?”

  “Isn’t he the guy with the continuum transfunctioner?”

  Her brow furrowed.

  “Never mind. Who is he?”

  “A vampire alchemist who lives in the basement of an old barn in Woodinville. Do you have any information about the poison? With a few ingredients, he may be able to identify it for you.”

  I leaned in, hope rising. If the alchemist could identify it, maybe he would also know how to nullify it.

  “There are vampires in Woodinville?” Dimitri asked. “That’s out in the suburbs, isn’t it?”

  “Vampires can’t be suburban?” I asked as Nin pulled out her phone and looked up an address. “Maybe he’s a fan of the wineries out there.”

  I would have to check the lore to see if vampires could drink anything but blood. I hadn’t dealt with many in my line of work. Like these quasi-mythological dark elves, they stayed under the radar—and the surface of the earth.

  “I suppose,” Dimitri said. “He doesn’t drive a minivan, does he?”

  “You can’t possibly have a prejudice against vans.”

  “Here.” Nin texted me a link.

  It wasn’t the map address I expected but a real estate listing for a house that had been on the market for nine-hundred-some days.

  “Do people not want to buy from a vampire?” I asked.

  “Nobody outside of the magical community knows about the vampire. No, let me clarify that. Nobody knows where he lives. He is quite famous online. He knows how to use the socials.” Nin gave me a stern look.

  I lifted my hands in resignation. “If I manage to save my boss and clear my name, I will definitely look into social media marketing for my services.”

  “Excellent. I want to make sure my clients do well, so they can continue to afford my services.”

  “You’re a savvy businesswoman.”

  “Yes.” Nin smiled. “Wait one moment, please.”

  She hopped into the truck.

  “My life has gotten very strange in the last thirty-six hours,” Dimitri remarked.

  “I’ve seen your yard art. Your life was already strange.”

  “Have we known each other long enough that it’s appropriate for you to insult me?”

  “I don’t know. What if I buy you another tank of gas?”

  “That’ll make it okay then. Also, will you ask your friend if she teaches classes on business stuff? I don’t know how to market my art. The people who come by the property only want to pay twenty dollars for it. But it takes me a long time to find the pieces that will work with my special touch.” He wiggled his fingers to indicate the enchantments his dwarven blood had allowed him to learn.

  Nin returned with a brochure and several business cards. “Please give these to Zoltan and let him know that if he needs any weapons made, or if any of his fellow vampires need them made, I can accommodate him. Also, I am thinking of branching out into magical armor.”

  “If he doesn’t try to bite my neck the instant we meet, I’ll give these to him.”

  “Of course he will try to bite your neck. You are the hated Mythic Murderer. But please also give him my brochure as a favor to me. And then I will do a favor for you. This is how networking works.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Nin kept me in guns and ammo. If she wanted me to hand out business cards to vampires, I would do it.

  “Thank you.” Nin waved to me and smiled shyly at Dimitri.

  I wondered if he liked girls with blue hair. And if he was paying attention to her marketing tactics. Clearly, he needed to make brochures and hand them out.

  “Mythic Murderer?” Dimitri asked as we walked back to the van.

  “I hadn’t encountered that one before. Lovely to hear that there are so many variations of my nickname.”

  “Are we driving to Woodinville tonight?”

  “Yes.” I imagined Willard hooked up to IVs with electrodes attached to her chest.

  “Is night the best time to visit a vampire?” Dimitri climbed into the driver’s seat.

  “If you want him to be awake, probably.”

  “And we want that?”

  “It’s hard to question someone locked in a coffin.
”

  Dimitri put the keys in the ignition as I buckled in next to him, but then held up a finger. “One second.”

  He ducked into the back and rummaged around in the crate under the bobblehead doll. He returned with…

  “Why do you have a cervical collar?” I asked.

  “My attempt to learn to snowboard last winter was problematic.” He buckled it around his neck. All he needed was a backboard, and he would look like someone about to be carted out of a swimming pool for a diving-board injury. “There. My neck will be safe tonight.”

  As he drove off, I didn’t point out that vampires could probably use any vein to suck blood. It wouldn’t matter. Zoltan was sure to go for the Mythic Murderer first.

  14

  “This is a nice neighborhood for a vampire,” Dimitri remarked as we drove along winding roads that had once been out in the country but were now lined with well-lit McMansions with impeccable grassy lawns and immaculately trimmed hedges.

  “Vampires are usually a few hundred years old. That’s a long time to accumulate wealth. Though it sounds like the house is vacant and he may be a freeloader.” I pointed to a driveway with a real-estate sign staked into the grass next to it. “That’s it. Park anywhere. Nin said the vampire lives in the barn out back.”

  “You sure it’s vacant? All the lights are on, and there are two cars in the driveway.”

  “I suppose just because it’s for sale doesn’t mean that it’s vacant. Park over there. It looks like someone’s having a party.” I waved to the house across the street with cars filling the driveway and parked along the curb. “We’ll do our best to avoid notice. Insomuch as we can in this van.”

  “What’s wrong with Bessy?” Dimitri pulled up behind a Tesla.

  “It’s not part of the neighborhood’s typical auto demographic.”

  I left the smelly hooded jacket in the car, doubting we’d run into the police out here, and crossed the street. Dimitri caught up with me as I headed up the long driveway. The grass was wet from an earlier rain, so I didn’t want to walk on it and hoped for a path around the house farther up.

  “You and your cervical collar don’t have to come.” I sensed the aura of someone magical in the distance, out back behind the house somewhere. The vampire was home.

  “I’m still waiting to see the tiger. You’ll have to bring him out if a vampire tries to bite your neck.”

  “True. I’m thinking of bringing him out right now.” I reached for the figurine.

  Once Dimitri rubbed Sindari’s ears, I could send him back to the van. Even though he didn’t look like the damsel-in-distress type, it would be stupid to take him to see a vampire. He wasn’t even armed.

  As I was about to call Sindari forth, the front door opened. Hell, we should have veered off across the lawn, wet grass regardless.

  “Wonderful, wonderful,” a woman said, walking out and guiding a couple to the parked cars. “No, no, I don’t mind the late showing. I’m happy to work with people’s busy schedules.”

  I shifted my hand to my cloaking charm but realized that would leave Dimitri standing alone in the driveway.

  The woman spotted us before I finished debating if we could dart off across the lawn without being noticed.

  “Uh, can I help you?” Somehow, she managed to smile and wave the couple into their Mercedes at the same time as she frowned at us.

  “Yes.” I spotted the RE/MAX logo on her SUV. “We saw that you were showing this house and wondered if we could also look around.”

  Her frown deepened as she looked at Dimitri and his metal T-shirt. “Did you see the price on the flyer out there?”

  “Of course. We’re pre-qualified.” I smiled. “My fiancé works at Microsoft. Game designer.”

  “You injured your neck as a programmer?”

  “Uh,” Dimitri said.

  “No, he did that while spring skiing up at Whistler. We have a condo up there. Vacation place, you know. We’re looking to buy a new house down here, close to his work.”

  “Look, lady, my bullshit detector is spot-on.” She pointed a finger at my chest. “There’s nothing in there to steal. The owners moved all of their stuff out two years ago. You two get out of here right now, or I’ll call the HOA security patrol.”

  Oh man, the HOA security patrol. That had me quivering in my boots. But I didn’t really want to crack a real-estate agent on the head with the flat of my blade, so I led Dimitri back across the street. We found some dark, damp hedges to smoosh ourselves into while we waited for her to leave.

  She called someone before getting in the car. The security patrol, no doubt.

  “Sorry,” Dimitri said. “I’m not that good at lying. There was never any point when I got caught doing something as a kid. Nobody believed I was innocent no matter what I said.”

  “Where’d you grow up?”

  “South Bronx. My parents immigrated from Russia. Dad beat me up at home, and the big kids beat me up outside of it. Until I got big enough to take care of myself.”

  I opened my mouth, about to ask if that had been when he was seven or eight, but a few shadowy figures stepped out of hedges similar to ours farther up the street. Had they come from the party? They all had their hoods up and were wearing long dark jackets or maybe cloaks. Who the hell wore cloaks anymore?

  Something twanged my senses, magic being used. Were they magical themselves? I couldn’t tell. They seemed strangely blank to my perceptive elven blood.

  “Who are they?” Dimitri muttered.

  “Not the HOA security, I’m guessing.”

  A shadow rose up out of the street as the figures crossed, heading toward the vacant house, and it seemed to engulf them. They disappeared from my sight and the magic faded from my senses.

  “Friends of Zoltan, maybe,” I added.

  The real-estate agent remotely turned off most of the house’s interior lights, leaving on the driveway lights, then drove away. A few seconds later, a security car cruised through. It pulled into the driveway, and the patroller got out and walked up to the front door with his flashlight and night stick.

  “This is taking forever.” The house next door had all of its lights off, so I headed up the street for its driveway.

  Dimitri stayed close. Once again, I was tempted to send him back to the van, but after seeing those hooded guys disappear, I worried he would be safer with me. Once I reached the next driveway, I summoned Sindari.

  I sense a vampire, he informed me before he’d fully solidified.

  That’s Zoltan. Do you sense anyone else?

  Hm, I smell many people about, across the street and walking around that domicile. His nose was pointed at the vacant house.

  The security guard?

  No, this is a group that’s moving around the side of the house and heading to the back. I believe stealth charms are being used, but they are not as good as yours, since they do not camouflage scent.

  I headed up the gravel driveway, the only gravel anywhere on the street, to a log rambler that must have been here long before the rest of the neighborhood was built. I wondered if the HOA trooper covered it, or if it was left out of the club.

  The windows were dark, so I led the way around to the back, where the mowed grass stretched halfway back to a pond, with much taller, unkempt grass beyond it. Once we were back there, two structures were visible behind the vacant house. A horse barn and arena setup that alone had to have cost a million dollars and an out-of-place, dilapidated carriage house on the back corner of the lot. There were no lights there, but I could tell the wood siding was falling off and one door hung halfway off its rusty hinges.

  I sensed the vampire’s aura in that direction.

  Are the hidden people heading there? I pointed at the old carriage house.

  No. They’re lurking behind what I perceive is a children’s playhouse there beside the patio.

  The playhouse was bigger than my apartment in Ballard.

  And looking in this direction, Sindari added. You
may wish to activate your cloaking charm.

  The security guard walked into view, shining his flashlight around the side and back of the property.

  I don’t suppose you’d like to lead everyone away? I didn’t want to see the guard get jumped by the vampire or the mystery pack of magical people.

  That didn’t go well with the dragon.

  He’s not here. The vampire is the most dangerous thing we should encounter tonight.

  Very well, but if something flies out of the sky and tries to light me on fire again, I’ll have cross words to share with you.

  Thank you, Sindari.

  Before heading off, Sindari paused, his tail swishing as he looked at Dimitri. He had shifted closer and had a hand out toward the tiger’s back.

  “Uhm, can I pet him now?”

  Pet him? Sindari asked. What is petting? A thing you do to a pet, yes? Should I be insulted?

  No. Out loud, I said, “You forgot to point out how regal he is.”

  “He’s magnificent,” Dimitri breathed.

  He just wants to feel your fur. Maybe it’ll give him good luck.

  If a tiger could sigh, Sindari did. Very well. I shall permit it.

  “Go ahead,” I said.

  Dimitri slid his hand down Sindari’s back several times with appreciative enthusiasm. “He’s so soft.”

  “But regal, don’t forget.” I checked on the vampire. My senses told me he hadn’t moved.

  “Regal and soft and magnificent.” There was no sarcasm in Dimitri’s voice. Sindari had a new admirer.

  His tail swished, and he let out a few chuffs.

  “What does that noise mean?” Dimitri asked.

  “Tigers can’t purr, but it means he’s pleased.”

  This man has good hands.

  Of course. He makes that yard art.

  You should claim him for a mate.

  He’s a little young for me. Maybe I’ll try to set him up with Nin.

  Sindari crouched and faced the playhouse. I should go before the security officer stumbles across them and gets himself killed.

  Good idea.

  Sindari sprang over the fence and roared. He sailed around the back yard, running right past the playhouse. Unfortunately, my nose wasn’t as good as his, so I couldn’t tell if the stealthed group moved. The security guard issued a high-pitched shriek and ran back toward the front of the house.