Scar

by A. M. Brooks

  I might have blacked out a little because the next time I open my eyes, I’ve been rolled on top of Trent, cradled against his chest. His riding jacket is pulled over my middle, covering my butt and lower back. I feel sticky and damp between my thighs, but can’t bring myself to care right now. My body feels languid and I’m tired. Trent runs a hand down my spine, which only makes me feel more comfortable. My eyes flutter. His arms wrap protectively around me. He feels so warm. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. We blurred some lines tonight and I refuse to believe it wasn’t for the better. All the things I meant to tell him earlier die in my throat, but I swear tomorrow will be the day. Hopefully after, Trent and I can finally find a way to be on the same page.

  Scarlet

  Being back in Vegas does nothing to improve my mood. All I can see is the parking garage, the blood, and hear the screams while bullets echoed and ricocheted off the concrete. This hotel is a disaster and has been a constant thorn in my side since we decided to build it, well since my father commissioned it. There had been so much potential, but he ruined it just like everything else he touched. More often than I like to admit, I thank God that Raul Alverez no longer walks the earth.

  “Scarlet,” Jay calls my name and I jump in response, so lost in my own thoughts. His eyes narrow, studying me. “You okay today?” he asks right as Trent walks into the room.

  I look away quickly and instantly regret that I did. Tension fills the air like a thick blanket while Jay continues to assess my behavior while now sneaking glances at Trent. “I’m fine,” I try to tell him, assure him that I’m not at all jumpy now that Trent fucked me not once but three times last night. The last time was inside his car where we fell asleep again until the sun was peaked over the horizon, sending me into a panic because we had to leave for Las Vegas in just a few short hours.

  Trent drove us back to my safe house where I ran inside and jumped in the shower. By the time I was done, he was gone and I haven’t seen him since. I remind myself to school my features and to keep things professional. There are many things that need to be said between the two of us and I know that last night didn’t take away his thirst to see me behind bars. Not that I blame him. My past is something I will always have to live with. The choices I made are my own personal hell.

  ‘When you leave here, I want you to check into your normal room at the La Flor,” Jay instructs. “Julio’s last text to you was that you’d meet for dinner and discuss the set up and drop.”

  “Uh, huh,” I mumble, nodding my head. Having Julio on my safe ground is starting to feel like a noose around my neck. I know this is the goal, the final nail in the proverbial coffin to my old life. Julio is just so slippery, though. There is a reason they call him, ghost. The man seems to always be ten steps ahead and I find it ironic that he’s never put the pieces together in regards to me, yet he felt off about my father from the beginning. He was the only person to reach out and actually congratulate me on the loss of my father. Julio is a master manipulator and notorious for being hard to peg down, he comes and goes as he pleases. The fact that I was able to convince him to come here today speaks volumes about his greed to get the drugs I’m supplying. I would rather he just stay in Mexico, but we need him to finally close this case and make it believable when I go down.

  My eyes turn back to Trent and Jay, who are, again, both looking at me. “Sorry, lost in thought,” I mumble and they share a look. Jay shrugs and Trent’s brow lifts during their silent communication. I sigh loud enough to get their attention. “I’m fine. It’s just weird being back here. Going to that hotel today is going to bring back bad memories. I’m also worried about Bandara crossing the border and being here.”

  “Is there something we don’t know or should be worried about?” Jay pries and I shake my head.

  “He just agreed too fast. It’s not like him to step out of the shadows. Unless he knows and is here to kill me,” I ramble, tucking my arms around my middle. I feel too vulnerable right now. Too exposed and definitely too emotional to handle the end. I’m not ready to die and I’m not ready to go to prison. I know my time is limited, either way.

  My chest starts to feel tight and my vision gets fuzzy. I need air. “I just need a minute,” I tell them, holding up my hand as I dart past them and out the door. I speed walk down the hallway until I find the rooftop entrance. Using my owner’s card, I slide it down the sensor and I rush up the small flight of stairs, throwing open the last door that is standing between me and air. My lungs take shaky breaths in, and I concentrate on breathing through my nose until my hands stop shaking. I walk toward the ledge and lean against it, hands resting on my thighs.

  I feel him before I see him. I’m not even sure how Trent got up here, but when his shadow falls over me, I instantly relax. “You going to explain what this freak out is about?”

  I look up to see him staring down at me, his brow cocked and his jaw clenched tight.

  “I just need some time,” I tell him, swallowing to keep my voice steady, “this is the end, you know? I’ve been waiting for so long and I just…it’s a lot.”

  “You can’t back out now, Scar,” he tells me, his voice hardening.

  “No,” I shake my head, “That’s not it. I’m not going to. I’m just scared, I don’t know.”

  “What do you have to be scared of? Our plan is solid as long as you follow it.”

  “I could die,” I say, before I can stop myself. I hate how weak those three words sound coming out of my mouth.

  “You won’t die,” he answers, so sure of himself, like I should just believe it.

  My hands start to get clammy and my heart races again. I’ve been dreading this moment since things started to fall into place while working with Jay. I always knew the day was on the horizon and now it’s actually time. I just wish that when I look Trent in the eyes I didn’t see the indecision there. He can’t decide whether he loves me or hates me. Whether he wants me to die or stay alive. Pain grips my heart. Even if he hates me, even if I die, I still need to be honest with him. I spilled my guts to a room full of strangers weeks ago, but I have been holding onto one last truth meant just for Trent.

  Taking a deep breath, I stand to my full height, and rub my hands down my pant legs. My head lifts, eyes colliding with his, once again. “If I do die—”

  “You aren’t dying,” He cuts me off, and I take a step closer to him, cutting him off.

  “If I die or I live and end up going to jail, I need you to know something,” I tell him, while tears sting my eyes, “I didn’t leave back then just because of Evita. I left to save our daughter.”

  Trent’s eyes turn glacial, the muscle in his jaw twitches. “What?”

  I take another step toward him and he takes one back. My chest squeezes in response. “I had to save myself to protect our baby.”

  Silence stretches between us. I wait for him to speak or to yell, but he stays quiet. I open my own mouth to explain then close it again.

  “What the fuck happened, Scarlet?” he finally grits out. “You knew you were pregnant and were okay with destroying my life anyways? Did it not ever occur to you that if you had just come to me, and told me everything, that I could have helped? I would have saved you both.”

  I shake my head in denial, while tears cascade down my cheeks. “I couldn’t,” I whisper, “it wouldn’t have worked then and that is why I’ve worked so hard to get here today, so I could explain.”

  “Explain,” Trent scoffs, “all you did was just drop a bomb on me hours before the most important mission of our lives. Now I also have a child to worry and think about.”

  “I wanted to tell you after,” I plead, “but the anxiety is ripping me apart. We’re so close. This whole thing is so close to being over and I am panicking because what if something goes wrong?”

  “Does Jay know?” Trent asks and I nod my head in admission.

  “I told him when we first started working together. He needed to know how serious I was.”

  �
�I can’t believe this,” he huffs out, hands running through his hair. “What happened?”

  I swallow roughly, remembering all the details, the smallest tidbits of information I stored in my mind, waiting and hoping for this day to come. I knew I would run the chance that Trent may never listen to me. Right now, though, I have him to myself, on a rooftop, where I can finally spill the last of my secrets.

  Then…

  Scarlet

  I glance down one more time at the white sick sitting on the dirty countertop of the hotel room, and see the two pink lines. A confirmation of my worst fear. My heart hammers in my chest and I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t be pregnant. Worse, I can’t be pregnant with his child. I’ll never be allowed to keep it or even for the child to live if my father finds out. All I’ve ever known is him telling me that I was useless to him and that I should have been born a son. It was out of my own conviction that I rose to the top and made myself useful. All that would change, though, if I was pregnant. If my father found out I was pregnant with his enemy’s child. Trent would die or my father would find a different way to use this against him to get what he wants.

  My head spins and I need to sit down. Curling up on the bed, I tuck my legs in and let myself cry. My emotions have been all over the place the past couple of weeks, all of which I attributed to having to leave Trent. If I hadn’t made a call to Evita on a new burner phone, I never would have put the pieces together.

  After months of being cut off from her, I was finally able to get ahold of my cousin. I fill her in on what had transpired between myself and my father and what I was being forced to do. I warn her about Raz, even though she was already piecing that together on her own. She admits he hit her, and I see red.

  “Get on a flight and fly to LA to meet me,” I tell her, managing to keep my voice calm, while all I feel is hot rage burning my chest.

  “I don’t know if I can,” she mumbles back.

  “You can,” I tell her, “tell your mom the deal ends tomorrow night and you’re meeting me for a celebratory drink. She’ll be fine with it.”

  “Okay,” Evita sighs into the phone, “how are you holding up with everything?”

  “I feel like shit,” I confide in her, “I feel terrible, Evie. I can’t sleep, my stomach is upset all the time, I can’t keep anything down. I just want it all to be over. I feel so guilty.”

  “Oh honey,” she whispers in the phone, listening while I break down. “Um, Scarlet, have you looked into the symptoms you’ve been having?”

  “No,” I mumble. “What do you mean?”

  She sighs into the phone. “Girl, your symptoms sound like you’re pregnant. You and Trent were getting it on frequently, did you always use protection?”

  I swallow at her words, my brain flipping through the memories. “Yes, except maybe a few times.” I vividly remember the night he told me he loved me and waking up the next morning realizing we forgot a condom. It happened again and I never thought more about it.

  “No,” I rasp into the phone. “Oh my god, Evie, what do I do?”

  “Go get a test or a few and then call me back,” she instructs, keeping her voice low so her mother or father won’t hear.

  I ended up buying five different tests. All of which are different. Some use symbols and others words. One is early pregnancy and the others are meant for a missed period. I can’t even remember my last period right now. I roll to my side and snatch up the burner phone again. Evita answers on the third ring.

  “Did you get it?”

  “I got a few. Took one,” I tell her, my voice catching on another sob.

  “Scarlet….”

  “What do I do?” I cry into the phone. My whole world feels like it’s ending. Terror like I’ve never known grips my neck until I can’t breathe.“Your father will kill you,” she whispers.

  “I know,” I cry harder, “If he finds out who the father is, we’re both dead. If by some miracle I am able to give birth, if it’s a boy, he’ll take him from me and raise him to take over. If it’s a girl, he might find that she’s useless to him and get rid of her. He’s a monster, Evie.”

  “Oh, Scarlet.” She sniffles, her own voice thick with emotion.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I cry harder, wishing I could go back. Wishing there was a way to get back to Trent and explain everything. He might not be willing to help me, but he might if he knew I was pregnant.

  “Can you get to Trent?” she asks, reading my mind.

  “I could if I sneak past Luis. Even if I get to him, though, my dad will see me coming. He has eyes all over Trent right now until things go down. If my father even suspects I’m about to betray him, he won’t hesitate to put a bullet in Trent.”

  “This is so fucked-up,” Evita groans into the phone. I nod my head, even though she can’t see me, and more tears slide down my cheeks. I can’t save them both. Just like I couldn’t save Evita and him, I had to choose. This time I’m going to have to choose the baby over him. Despite the crippling fear, I want to find a way for the baby to survive. I just need to figure out a way.

  “I need to let this thing with Trent happen,” I finally tell her, my voice eerily calm, while I piece the solution together. “I need to let it happen so my father still believes I’m under his thumb. Then he’ll give me what he promised, three years of college and Talúm.”

  “Then what?” She asks.

  “Hope that Trent lives. Somehow, I’ll deliver a story about how I ended up pregnant. My guess is my father will leave me alone until I give birth,” I tell her, running through all the possible scenarios available to my brain right now.

  “My mom talked to your father and my flight was approved, I’ll meet you tomorrow,” she replies.

  “Go to The Viper’s Den,” I tell her, “I need to put this plan into play as soon as I can.”

  “I’ll see you then,” she responds and we hang up.

  I lie back on the bed, one hand cradled protectively around my abdomen. I glance at the other test and decide I may as well double and triple check. Half an hour later, they all conclude the same thing. I’m going to be a mom. Tears leak out of my eyes and I cry until my body is too tired to do anything else but sleep.

  I can’t believe I pulled it off. I really can’t believe Luis bought it and already confided in my father about my supposed sexual liaison after leaving the Viper’s Den last night. I admit the messy hair and fake hickey is probably what sold it the most, but still, it wasn’t that good. I did a half-ass job at best, trying not to cringe and puke my guts up in that motel room. Now that I know I’m pregnant, weird things like blood and gore make me squeamish. I set it up perfectly to start off the staged, downhill spiral I’m going to embark on, until it’s convincing enough that I could be pregnant with anyone’s child. I do not need my father questioning the parentage.

  I slept in this morning, faking that I needed rest, when really, I wanted a few more minutes of privacy to check for any news regarding Trent. Last I saw, the same investigator who stopped me on the streets in Detroit, months ago, was walking into the police station. They were now speculating Trent’s involvement. I catch the investigator’s name this time and write it on a slip of paper, before hiding it in the liner of my purse. As soon as the baby and I are safe, I’ll make the call. It’s time to step out of my father’s shadow and get up from under his reign.

  I know I’m not inherently evil. My conscience has been present more this past year than in the past three combined. I needed to find myself again in order to realize this is not who I want to be. Trent taught me the type of person I can be. With his unwavering strength and constant moral compass, he is the definition of a good guy. I wish I had trusted my gut more in the beginning, instead of listening to my father. If I had, though, I wouldn’t have had the extra time with Trent. I wouldn’t be carrying a life we created. Call me crazy, but I’m hoping someday he’s as excited about the baby as I am. I hope that he can forgive me.

  We meet Evita at the air
strip, and I notice her numerous bags. Lifting my brow, I chuckle lightly. “You weren’t kidding about being a stowaway.”

  Her eyes land on mine and her lips quirk in a smile. “I figure you’re going to need me for a while.” I pause at her words, but she continues, “You’re going to need someone to party with in order to get you ready for the college life.”

  She gives me a conspiratorial wink, before taking my hand in hers. I follow her to the plane, before stopping to take one last look at the Los Angeles area. Just a week ago, life was so different. My heart throbs in my chest and a pain I’ve never felt feels like it’s tearing my heart in two. With one last look at the skyline, I take the steps up to the plane and disappear inside the cabin. I vow to leave everything behind. Someday I will come back. Someday I will make this better. Right now, though, all I can do is save myself and protect the poppy seed growing inside me with my life.

  Now…

  Trent

  I listen to Scarlet tell the rest of her story, and the last secret she’s been holding out on me about. I want to shake her. I want to strangle her. I also want to fuck her within an inch of her life. I’m so pissed right now, all I can concentrate on is the red haze, edging its way into my vision. My mind flips back in time, reliving those last few months before everything went to shit. There was a lot of back and forth, Scarlet wanting to leave then deciding to stay, her saying she loved me too and lots of make-up sex. I remember her saying a few times she didn’t feel good but always chalked it up to the constant push and pull we were going through. Never once did it cross my mind that she was pregnant.