Informant

by Susan Wilkins

  However she couldn’t contemplate running away without first seeing Natalie and making sure she was okay. She picked up the taxi at Ilkley station, the driver was familiar with her destination and chatted amiably as they wound their way a dozen or so miles north into the Dales.

  Joey had described the place as seriously posh and for once he hadn’t been lying. Kaz waited in the oak-panelled library. After about five minutes Doctor Iqbal entered wreathed in smiles. He scanned the room rapidly as he offered his hand to shake.

  ‘Apologies for keeping you waiting Miss Phelps. You are on your own I see. I thought your brother might be with you.’

  Kaz returned the smile. ‘No, just me. Joey’s busy.’

  ‘Well I think that might be for the best. Your sister is . . . easily overwhelmed.’

  Kaz nodded but she couldn’t help sense the tension in Iqbal. ‘She’s okay, isn’t she? Only you look a bit worried.’

  Iqbal shook his head. ‘I have a very full schedule today, that’s all. Natalie is doing well. Very well. She is out of detox, she has been participating in therapy. I think you’ll find her much improved.’

  ‘That’s great.’

  ‘Still a way to go, but . . . you can make your own judgement. I’ll get one of my staff to take you up to her room.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Iqbal inclined his head politely, but he was frowning. He hesitated, then seemed to come to a decision.

  ‘I hope you will understand that our priority here is always to serve the best interests of the patient.’

  Kaz nodded. ‘Yeah, well that’s what my brother’s paying you for.’

  Iqbal gave her a thin smile. ‘Indeed.’

  Natalie’s room was at the end of a long corridor. The nurse who escorted Kaz was round and motherly but very neat in her pale mauve tunic. She said her name was June, she’d come to Woodcote Hall five years ago when she gave up on the NHS. Natalie was eating well, not large portions, but good food. She was improving on a daily basis.

  June tapped politely on the heavy oak door and opened it. There was a large leather wing chair by the window. Natalie was curled up in it, her eyes were closed, but she wasn’t sleeping. She was wearing a swish pair of headphones and her fingers were drumming on the arm of the chair to some barely audible beat.

  June stood in front of her patiently until, sensing a presence, Natalie opened her eyes. Her face immediately broke into a wide smile, she removed the headphones. June leant over her, patted her arm.

  ‘You’ve got a visitor lovey.’

  Natalie swivelled in the chair and glanced in Kaz’s direction with an expectant smile on her face. As soon as she saw Kaz, she frowned.

  ‘Oh . . .’

  June gave her another reassuring pat. ‘Wrong day dear. But I’ll leave you with your sister. I’m sure you’ve got lots of catching up to do.’

  Kaz scanned the room. It wasn’t large, but the ceiling was high and dual-aspect windows made it light and airy. The walls were a soft peach with fabrics and furnishings to match. There was a washbasin, mirror and vanity unit in one corner. A cork pinboard was propped in another with a large sheet of paper taped to it, part collage, part painting. Kaz’s eye was immediately drawn to its riotous colours.

  June picked up a high-backed chair and brought it over for Kaz. ‘Now don’t feel you girls have to stay inside. The grounds are lovely. And it’s good for Natalie to get out in the fresh air.’

  Kaz nodded her thanks and sat down on the chair, which June had placed next to Natalie’s. She gave her sister what she hoped was a warm smile. The door shut behind June and they sat in silence for several moments.

  Natalie’s gaze was watchful and alert. She still looked young and vulnerable, but an intelligence had returned to her face. The drugged-up zombie was gone. She sighed. ‘Never expected to see you.’

  ‘I wanted to come before. But y’know how it is. Things got complicated.’

  Natalie nodded slowly. She scanned Kaz’s face as if searching for clues, something to connect with her memories. ‘You look different.’

  Kaz smiled. ‘So do you.’

  Natalie reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out an iPod nano. She tapped the screen to switch the music off. Kaz’s eyes followed her slow deliberate actions.

  ‘What you listening to?’

  ‘Various bands. Mate of mine made me a playlist.’

  Kaz nodded. It felt as though she was wading through treacle. ‘You made friends in here, that’s good.’

  Natalie was carefully coiling the cable round the headphones. ‘Nic’s not in here. She just comes to visit. I thought you was her.’

  Kaz painted on a smile. ‘Maybe you’d’ve preferred that.’

  Natalie fixed her sister with a direct stare. Kaz was shocked to realize that she had a definite look of Joey about her. She tilted her head in the same way he did.

  Her gaze left Kaz’s face and drifted to the window and the view beyond. ‘I find it hard to remember stuff, like what happened when. But you was there, weren’t you? At the flat.’

  Kaz nodded. ‘I came to see you at your flat, yeah.’

  ‘Was you there when he done it?’

  ‘Who you talking about Nat?’

  Natalie didn’t respond immediately, but the eyes returned to Kaz’s face and the rage was unmistakable. Still she took her time. ‘You fucking know who I’m talking about. Was you there when he chucked Jez off the balcony?’

  Kaz took a deep breath. ‘Yeah. Well . . . I actually came into the room just after. But yeah, I was there.’

  Natalie took a moment to absorb this. ‘You ain’t gonna lie to protect him then?’

  ‘If we’re talking about Joey, then no, I ain’t gonna lie to protect him. I’m not gonna lie to you about anything Nat. We’re still sisters and if that’s ever gonna mean anything again, then we tell each other the truth. It’s the only thing that’s gonna work.’

  Natalie’s gaze flickered suspiciously over her sister’s face. ‘What about the old bill? You gonna lie to them? Tell ’em it was an accident?’

  Kaz took a deep breath. She hadn’t expected this visit to be easy, but nor had she expected her baby sister to go straight for the jugular.

  Natalie continued to scrutinize her, she saw Kaz’s hesitation and the guilty look in her eye. She got up from the chair with a huff. ‘Oh what the fuck, we both know the answer, don’t we? You done six years to protect Joey. Lying to the filth – piece of piss. Old habits, eh, Kaz?’

  Natalie stepped over to the window, folded her arms and looked out. Kaz waited. Even facing her sister’s back she could feel the hostility radiating from her.

  ‘Listen to me Nat, I don’t want this to turn into me and Joey against you. I’m not on his side, not any more. You and me, we ain’t seen each other for such a long time. A lot’s happened to me. A lot. I had to fight to get clean myself.’

  Natalie turned to look at her. ‘Doctor Iqbal says we use to escape and we gotta look at what we’re escaping from. In my case it’s my whole fucking life and my whole fucking family.’

  Kaz gave her a weak smile. ‘I know what you mean.’

  Natalie stared at her for several moments. Gradually her face softened, she sighed deeply. ‘You’re not how I remember you.’

  Kaz laughed. ‘That’s a bonus, ’cause I was running round out of my box most of the time. Look, I’m here ’cause I wanna help. I’m still your sister. And I know how hard it is to get clean.’

  Natalie gave her the ghost of a smile. ‘Do you?’

  ‘Just talk to me Nat. Please.’

  Natalie turned to face the window again, she stared out across the park to avoid her sister’s eye.

  ‘Jez used to get all our gear off Joey. I wasn’t suppose to know, ’cause of Mum ’n’all that. But it was Joey kept us supplied. He always slipped Jez a few quid too, to take care of me. “Keep her happy”, that’s what he told Jez. Last time I was in here three months, got clean. Felt great. I got home, soon as Mum and B
rian went out, Joey comes round. Brings Jez. Couple of lines to celebrate my homecoming they said, that won’t do you any harm. Well . . . you can guess the rest.’

  Kaz got up from her chair and gathered Natalie in her arms. Natalie remained ramrod stiff at first, but slowly she allowed herself to relax into the hug. Kaz could feel her bony shoulders start to shake. Then her whole body began to convulse with sobs.

  Kaz held her tight, gently rocking her. ‘It’s okay babes, it’s all gonna be okay.’

  ‘Now you are fucking lying to me.’

  Kaz could feel the wetness of her sister’s tears on her neck, they soaked into the collar of her shirt. Or maybe it was her own tears. They stood crying in each other’s arms for what seemed like an age. Finally Natalie edged away, wiped the back of her hand across her nose.

  ‘Wanna see something?’

  Kaz nodded. She pulled a wedge of folded tissues from her pocket, handed one to Natalie. Natalie blew her nose, went over to the corner, picked up the corkboard and propped it up on the bed. Kaz gazed at the oddly serpentine picture, it was a chaotic jumble of images, hard to decipher.

  She smiled. ‘Yeah . . . it’s an interesting picture.’

  Natalie shook her head. ‘It’s not a picture, it’s like a chart. It’s what we done in therapy. It’s called “life events”.’ Natalie pointed to the top left-hand corner. ‘Starts here.’ Her finger snaked across and down the sheet. ‘You have to put in all the big things, how you felt about them.’ She pointed to a purple square, waxy impasto crayon, covered with horizontal and vertical black lines like a cage. ‘That’s the cupboard.’

  Kaz could see the tears gathering in her sister’s eyes again. ‘What cupboard?’

  ‘The big one upstairs in the hall, where we used to hide from Dad.’

  Kaz nodded, gave her sister a tight smile. ‘Oh yeah, that was always the best hiding place, behind the boxes and coats.’

  Natalie stared back at her, the anger was gone from her eyes, leaving raw hurt. ‘Joey told me that when you two used to hide in there together, ’specially after the old man had given him a thrashing, you’d give him a hand-job to take his mind off it.’

  The words exploded in Kaz’s brain, catapulting her back into a corner of the past that she’d firmly shut away. Her and Joey, two petrified teenagers, comforting each other in the warm, fetid darkness of the cupboard. Her immediate impulse was to deny it. Because it didn’t happen, of course it didn’t happen. But before she could speak Natalie beat her to it.

  ‘After you went inside he wanted me to do the same. He never forced me. Used to give me sweets. A Crunchie and a Creme Egg for a hand-job, two bags of Haribos and a box of Maltesers for a blow-job. I was only twelve. Later on, when I said I wouldn’t do it no more, he started to give me other stuff.’

  Kaz couldn’t speak, the revulsion that swept through her was visceral. And she knew it was her fault. It was all her fault.

  She’d chosen the wrong sibling to protect.

  There was still morning dew underfoot as Kaz and Natalie walked out across the grass. The sweeping parkland, created by some long-forgotten Yorkshire mill owner in an attempt to perfect nature in the manner of Italian landscape painting, stretched out before them down to a curving lake and some woods. A young Sikh groundsman was raking leaves and feeding a smoky bonfire. He gave them a friendly grin as they passed.

  Natalie glanced at her sister. ‘Nice innit? Peaceful.’

  Kaz nodded, gave her a weak smile. ‘I want to apologize, but somehow that don’t seem quite enough.’

  Natalie looked at her. ‘Let’s go down to the lake. I never had a chance to take a proper look at it. They don’t let us near it on our own, in case we try and top ourselves I guess.’

  As they walked down the grassy slope a couple of moorhens scurried before them and headed for the water. The bank was edged with reeds, the water beyond still and dark.

  Natalie turned to Kaz impulsively. ‘Fancy a swim?’

  ‘No! It looks bloody freezing. Anyway I don’t think Doctor Iqbal’d like it.’

  ‘Pity.’ Natalie smiled. ‘Jez taught me to swim. Used to go down the beach in Southend. It was a laugh.’

  Kaz stopped in front of her sister. She shoved both hands in the pockets of her jeans. She’d promised Natalie the truth, but delivering it was something else. She took a deep breath.

  ‘The day we came to your flat . . . I’d just got out. I really needed to see you. I had no idea that Joey would . . . would lose it like that.’ Kaz swallowed hard. ‘At the time I blamed myself ’cause I had a go at him about how he hadn’t taken care of you. Result . . . he got angry and took it out on Jez. So yeah, I lied to the police for him. Convinced myself it was a one-off, not the real Joey. Come to think of it, he just wound me round his little finger.’

  Natalie gave her a wry smile. ‘That’s Joey.’

  Kaz reached out, took Natalie’s arm. ‘Listen, babes, I got a plan. I’m going to the States. New York. You could come with me.’

  Natalie looked at her gone out. ‘What would I do in New York?’

  ‘Start again. Get your life back.’

  Natalie started to giggle. ‘New York? That’s ridiculous.’

  ‘Well what are you gonna do when you get out of this place? You can’t go home.’

  ‘My mate Nic reckons I should get a job. Train for something. Hairdressing maybe. I quite fancy being a hairdresser.’

  Kaz shook her head in annoyance. ‘Who the fuck is this Nic and what does she know about anything?’

  Natalie gave her a sheepish look, she couldn’t meet her sister’s gaze. ‘She’s . . . someone who’s been helping me. Helping me get my head straight.’

  The realization hit Kaz like a bolt. ‘Nic as in Nicci? Oh fuck! You been set up babes.’

  Natalie frowned angrily. ‘No I haven’t. I’m not a fool. And Nic’s been straight with me.’

  ‘She’s not your friend, she’s a copper. She’s only doing her job.’

  Natalie screwed up her face and balled her fists. She reminded Kaz of the angry toddler she once was. ‘Fuck you! She is my friend! Cares about me more than any of you lot ever have.’ She turned on her heel and started to walk back up the grassy slope.

  Kaz sighed. She gazed out over the lake. A duck and drake skimmed to a landing, sending ripples out across the dark waters. She turned and called after her sister. ‘Nat, wait a minute. I’m sorry.’

  She didn’t get a reply. Natalie had stopped dead in her tracks. A tall figure was crossing the manicured bit of lawn in front of the house and walking down the hill towards them. As he strode across the grass it took Kaz a matter of seconds to grasp what her sister had already realized: it was Joey.

  69

  Nicci Armstrong arrived at Paddington Green police station around eleven a.m. It brought back memories; she’d served here as a rookie, her second posting after Hendon. She’d been so idealistic then, enthusiastic about the job, just starting going out with Tim, but that felt like another life now and she put it to the back of her mind.

  An unremitting drizzle was falling which had slowed traffic in central London to a crawl. As she showed her ID to the desk sergeant she checked her watch and made an effort to get a handle on her anxiety. The journey should’ve taken twenty, it was now thirty-five minutes since they’d got the call.

  PC Jason Tyler came down to the desk to meet her. He was a large, robust bloke, mid-thirties with a weight-lifter’s neck. He escorted her to a small office, took a plastic bag from a desk drawer and emptied out a mobile phone. Nicci stared at it, one smartphone looked much like another.

  She glanced at Tyler. ‘When did you find it?’

  ‘We took it off this homeless kid last night. Didn’t really look at it until this morning. Your colleague’s lucky, if it’d had a pin on it, we’d’ve never traced it to him.’

  Nicci gave him a rueful smile. ‘DC Bradley can be a bit casual, so no phone pin doesn’t surprise me. Tell me about the kid.’

&n
bsp; Tyler grinned and shook his head wearily. ‘He’s one of our regulars. Thirteen. Cheeky little sod, been through more children’s homes than you’ve had hot dinners.’

  Nicci noticed the warmth in Tyler’s voice, big tough street cop with a soft spot for homeless kids. She smiled. ‘Sounds to me as if you like him.’

  Tyler put on his professional face. ‘Yeah well there’s a bunch of them hang out round the mainline station. They try a bit of thieving, but mainly they’re rent boys. We go out on a sweep, scoop them up, call social services. Within the week they’re back.’

  Nicci nodded. ‘So this mugging, you think the boy’s lying about what he saw?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s a right little fibber. Likes to be the centre of attention. Poor little sod hasn’t had much of that in his life.’

  ‘Well, let’s take a look.’

  Tyler led her through a warren of corridors. Some of the route was familiar, but she’d forgotten a lot. Too many places and too many years in between. Bradley hadn’t been seen this morning, but there was nothing unusual about that. She’d called his landline, got the voicemail. Still her gut was full of foreboding. She needed to distract herself. She glanced at Tyler, with his dark shaved head, solid muscle under the uniform, he looked every inch the hard man.

  ‘By the way I wasn’t being critical when I said I thought you liked him. But most officers don’t have much time for these street kids.’

  Tyler gave her a sidelong look. ‘Yeah well most officers didn’t grow up like I did. I was just another mixed-race kid who could’ve fallen through the net. But I was lucky, got fostered by an ace family who knew what they was doing.’

  Nicci smiled. ‘We could do with more like you.’

  Tyler laughed, uncomfortable with the compliment. ‘Don’t say that Sarge. ‘’Cause I’ve almost certainly got you down here on a wild-goose chase.’