by Elle Casey
He shrugs. “It was no big deal.”
“Please. You aren’t fooling me for a second.” I sigh and shake my head. Men. “You were scared shitless. You almost took off.”
He laughs good-naturedly. “I can’t put anything over on you, can I?”
“Nope.”
“That was a nice save, by the way. Making everybody look over at that tree. Good call.”
I shrug. “I do what I can. Some people call me an artist, some people call me a superhero. I don’t like to put labels on it.”
He turns me around so we’re facing each other and wraps his arms around me. “I like this place. I hope you’ll let me stay for a while.”
I want to shout and cheer, but I remain cool. “Well, you can stay, but I don’t know about that other riffraff over there.” I tilt my head toward the band’s bus. I smile so he knows I’m mostly kidding.
He rubs my back for a few seconds and then pulls away, resting his hands on my shoulders as he looks into my eyes. “If it’s okay with you, they’re hoping to stay for a couple weeks too. Your moms invited them. They’re not going to stay forever; it’s just so we can jam a bit and see where it goes.”
I sigh, knowing I have no choice. I’ve been outvoted by my moms and Sam has asked; there’s no way I can say no to either of them. And I’m not even sure that I want to anymore. “That’s fine. Whatever.” I break away and start walking toward the house, but his hand on my arm pulls me back.
“Will you do me one favor?” he asks.
“Maybe.”
He tugs my arm. “Hmmm. Maybe? That’s not good enough. What if I promise to love your body all over tonight, at least two times? Will you do me a favor then?”
How can I say no to that? I try not to grin but fail. “Okay, yes. I can try.” Ugh, I’m so easy. But he does have a way with those hands and that tongue of his, so I can’t be blamed.
“Would you just hear them out? I’m not saying that you should believe them, or that what they’re going to say makes any sense . . . I just want you to give it one fair chance so you won’t have any regrets later.”
He’s looking at me with what could be love in his eyes. Amber’s glancing up at me from the crowd and looking so hopeful. Rose is staring at me too, giving me a thumbs-up. It’s like the whole world is conspiring to make me a better person, to force me into letting go of my bitterness and turn the page.
“Fine. I’ll do it for you.” And for them. And for me.
He pulls me into a big hug and kisses the top of my head. I’m thinking about begging him to come to the bedroom with me now, even though the party is only half over, when there’s a commotion out in the driveway that grabs our attention.
Sam pulls out of our embrace, and we walk over to the edge of the porch to see what’s going on.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Amber comes up the stairs with a strange look in her eye, holding out her arm toward me. “Go inside.”
Rose is right behind her.
“Why? Who is that?” A man in a leather jacket and jeans with long, ratty hair gets out of a sports car that’s parked in the driveway behind the tour bus. He looks familiar, but I don’t know why because I’m pretty sure I’ve never met him.
“Just go inside,” Amber says. “He’ll be leaving very soon.”
The band members and Lister head straight for him, and even though we’re losing what little daylight we have left, I can still see that none of them are happy.
I stand firm. “I’m not going anywhere until someone tells me what’s going on.” It’s not like the guy has a gun on him or anything. I don’t think he could even fit a knife in pants that tight.
Amber stops at the top of the stairs and waits for Rose to join her before she speaks again. “You said you didn’t want to get involved in their stuff and you didn’t want to talk about the past.”
“So?” Amber is making no sense. “What’s that guy got to do with any of that?”
Sam leaves us to run down the stairs, going over to join his brother, who’s standing at the back of the group of men in front of the newcomer. Rose is on my right and Amber is on my left.
“That,” says Amber, “is the man who ruined our lives. His name is Darrell Ford.”
“It’s the guy who told the media about you,” Rose says to Amber.
“The one who was in the band for the first couple years,” I say, understanding dawning.
“Yes. And he’s here to cause trouble, so if you don’t want to be involved in all that, just go inside and let us deal with it.”
I turn to frown at Amber, my bossy-pants, know-it-all sister. “I don’t need to be anywhere but here, thank you very much.”
She shrugs. “Fine. It’s up to you. But you’re going to end up hearing things you don’t want to if you stick around.” She moves in close and puts her arm around my waist. Rose does the same from the other side. “I’m not saying you have to go anywhere. I’m just trying to understand and respect your wishes.”
I sigh, feeling defeated by her kindness. “It’s not that, okay? It’s just . . .” I can’t explain myself. Everything I was thinking earlier seems stupid to me now.
Amber looks at me, her expression softening. “Tell me. I’m listening.”
“Me too,” Rose says. “If you’ve figured any of this out for yourself, I’d love to hear it, because I’m clueless about what to do.”
“Give me your hands,” I say, wiggling myself out of their sisterly hugs. They obey and slide their palms into mine. I feel stronger and steadier with them standing here. We used to go down the front steps holding hands like this all the time when we were little, running off to play together. And I know it’s time to act like a grown-up, but as I delve into my feelings and innermost thoughts, I feel like I’m going to need the extra support.
“I think that life is too short to live with regrets. Our mothers have been doing it for over twenty years, and what a rotten shame that is.”
Amber nods but says nothing, which I’m grateful for, because it would be so easy for me to let her take over this conversation.
“I’m hurt over the idea that a man who fathered me and supposedly loved my mother would be so casual about letting her walk out of his life. But I’ve spent some time with Sam, a man who lived a very sad life for a lot of years, and I see how people who weren’t brought up the way we were, and who are in the throes of a huge career upswing, might lose track of what’s important.”
“They were manipulated,” Amber says.
I close my eyes and sigh. “Amber . . . you are their biggest champion . . .”
She opens her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. “No . . . let me finish.” I take a breath before continuing. “You are their biggest champion, but I trust you. You and Rose are my rocks, and you have been since we were born. That’s never going to change.”
Amber sniffs, but I can’t look at her or I’ll never finish. I stare at the tree I did this evening so I can get through it. “If you believe they are kind men, I will believe it until they give me firsthand reason not to. I will hear them out. I promised Sam I would do that. But you need to understand that I am not you. I am not an extrovert who feels like she can solve everyone’s problems. I’m just me. So I can’t promise that I’m going to believe them or that I’m going to forgive them for not being a part of our lives or that I’m going to make much of an effort beyond just listening.”
Rose squeezes my hand and I take that as support.
“We all know that we had a great life here. So much better than many other people. But I can’t help wondering what it could have been like if they had known we were alive. If they had bothered to just say, ‘Screw all the fame and fortune,’ and come after our moms all those years ago.”
“Can I say something?” Rose asks.
“Yes.” I nod and look at her. Her eyes are full of tears.
“You and I have been on the same page since the beginning of this mess. I think we’re more reserved when it comes
to people we don’t know in general, but I’ve also been very busy with work and not really willing to let this stuff take up space in my head. But with the way things are going . . . with Amber pregnant and Ty being a part of the band and maybe Sam too in some way . . . I think it would be a mistake to continue to remain indifferent. Or to try to remain indifferent. I don’t think either of us was unaffected by this, even though it’s been taking place for the most part in another state or another country altogether.”
“So you agree that the band should be given a chance to share their side of the story with you?” Amber asks.
I wait for Rose’s confirmation. It sure seems like that’s what she’s saying.
“Yes. But I’d also like to talk to Ted, because it seems like he was the key player in this fiasco. I believe he has more insight than anyone.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen,” Amber says.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because. He got fired. He’s not going to want to talk to anyone. In fact, we just got word that he’s suing the band for wrongful termination.”
I snort in disgust. “Good luck with that.”
“I know,” Amber says. “And the kicker is, he’s asking for thirty million bucks.”
“That can’t be a coincidence,” Rose says.
“No, of course it isn’t. I guess he figures if we’re worth thirty mil, he is too.”
“What a pig,” I say. As if the value of our stolen fathers could equal his punishment of being fired for being a homewrecker extraordinaire.
“But you can talk to the band and you can talk to Lister too. Lister wasn’t around when everything went down, but he’s been with them for a long time, and he knows Darrell.”
We all look over at the man who’s in a heated discussion with Red Wylde, the band’s singer and head decision-maker.
“What is he doing here?” Rose asks Amber. “Do you know?”
“What he’s always doing when he comes around: causing trouble.”
He yells something, and everyone stops talking to turn around and look at us. The crowd is silent.
“What did he just say?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Amber says, letting go of my hand. “But I’m going to go find out.”
“Not without me, you’re not,” I say, hurrying to catch up with her.
“Hey! Wait for me!” Rose whisper-yells, clomping down the stairs behind me.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
When we arrive at the scene, the band looks like they’re ready to fight this guy Darrell Ford. But he’s not afraid; he’s standing his ground, pointing his finger at Red’s face while Lister and Ty hold them apart.
“What’s going on?” Amber demands, pushing past our mothers, who are standing on the outskirts of the crowd, looking not just concerned but fascinated. I can’t tell if it’s their groupie reaction to seeing Darrell again or just their interest in the drama. I suppose they stand to learn some new things about their pasts, too, assuming Darrell is here to spill some beans.
“Babe, it’s probably better if you guys just go inside the house and wait,” Ty says, grunting with the effort of holding on to Red. Two more members of the band join him.
“Don’t you dare tell me to go be a quiet little girl in the other room,” she says, hands on her hips. “Surely you know me better than that.” She turns her attention to Darrell. “What are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you.”
“Since when does anyone need to be invited to Glenhollow Farms?” His smile is more of a sneer. His voice is rough, but I don’t think it’s from emotion. It’s more likely from a heavy-duty smoking habit from the sound of it.
“Since today. So you can head out right now, because you’re not welcome.”
“I think my daughter might say different.” He looks right at me.
Everyone freezes for a few seconds. Then they all twist their heads and stare at me.
I point at my chest. “Who . . . me?”
“Yeah, you, Rose. You’re my daughter.”
I bark out a laugh of relief. “Ha!” My hand flies up to my mouth and I feel my eyes bug out of my head as I turn to look at Rose. Her nostrils are flaring and her eyes narrowing.
“You are not my father,” Rose says in a low, angry tone.
He frowns. “What?”
I point at my sister. “That’s Rose. I’m Emerald.”
Darrell sags a little. “Oh. Well, fine then. I’ll ask her.” He looks at Rose. “You mind if I hang out for a while at the farm?”
She shakes her head slowly from side to side for a few seconds, but then she stops, shocking the you-know-what out of me with her next words. “Actually . . . I’d like to speak with you. Why don’t you come inside?” She gestures at him and then turns, heading for the house.
“You can’t be serious,” Ty says as Rose walks by.
“Oh, yes I can,” Rose says, sounding as determined as she did the day she announced that she was going to open a clinic in a rickety old outbuilding on the edge of our property that the city was trying to condemn.
The crowd dissipates as Darrell is allowed to follow Rose. I run to get past him and reach my sister as she’s opening the front door and stepping inside.
“What’s the plan?” I ask, trying and failing to catch my breath.
“I have no idea,” she says, her voice shaking.
I grab her hand and lead her over to the couch, pulling her down beside me. “We’ve got this. I’m with you.” Of course I’d rather be up in my room with the door locked, but there is no way in hell I’d abandon my sister right now. How this guy can think he’s her father is a big mystery, but we are soon going to find out what’s going on in his head, at least. I’m actually glad that Rose had the foresight to give him a chance to explain himself. Maybe he can help solve some of the riddles that have plagued our lives without us even knowing.
She squeezes my hand, and we both look up to see not only Darrell, but Lister, Ty, the rest of the band, and our mothers and Amber walking in too. It’s standing-room only for the final showdown at Glenhollow Farms.
CHAPTER FIFTY
Darrell holds out his hands toward the three of us sisters. “I’m going to start out by saying that I’m sorry if I ruined your big event here.” He glances over his shoulder toward the front door and the rest of the guests who are milling around outside.
Just then Sam appears in the doorway holding Sadie on his hip. He walks in and holds up his free hand. “Sorry. Just coming through. Got to put the little one to bed.” He touches my shoulder on the way past, and I reach up to pat his fingers and let him know I’m okay before he continues on.
Darrell waits until Sam is gone before he speaks again. “I know you all want me gone from here, and I get it. I’ve been a thorn in some of your sides for a long time.” He glances at his former bandmates.
Red grunts but doesn’t look at him.
I go back to staring at Darrell, wondering if any of his features remind me of my sister. It’s hard to say. Maybe they have the same face shape . . .
“But there’s a reason for me being here. I need to speak my piece.” He looks right at Rose as he explains. “Back when Sally and the others were around, things were good for us.” He glances at Rose’s mom—who’s looking a little shell-shocked with her mouth hanging partway open—before going back to his story. “Maybe too good. We were riding high on emotion and good times, writing good music together, living the life . . . but then it all caught up to us.”
Red opens his mouth to speak, but a hand on his arm stops him. This time it’s Ty putting on the brakes as he slowly shakes his head and warns his bandmate to let Darrell have his say. I’m amazed when Red listens.
“We started making waves with our music. A lot of money and offers were coming in. Drugs were being handed out like candy.” He glares at the band members, almost daring them to deny it; but they say nothing. Mooch looks like he feels a little guilty over that statement, which
lends it more credence in my mind.
“Ted and I talked a lot about it,” Darrell says. “We both thought the environment was getting toxic.”
“That wasn’t their fault,” Red blurts out. “The girls had nothing to do with that.”
For a moment I think he’s talking about us, but then I realize when our mothers share a look that he means them. My heart hurts for them, that a man they cared about saw them as a problem.
“I’m not saying it was their fault, but they were a part of it,” Darrell insists, his voice rising. “They didn’t bring the drugs in, but they participated. They encouraged the whole . . . environment or whatever. And you did too.” He runs his hand over his head, clearly frustrated as he glares at Red. “You can deny it all you want now, but I remember, and so does Ted.”
I’m not surprised by Darrell’s statements. The fact that our mothers were smoking pot and being very free with themselves and their time with these men is not news to me. Our mothers have been very honest about what happened . . . or they have been since Lister entered our lives. I refuse to be angry with them over their past lies by omission. My mother once said that motherhood makes liars of us all, and I get it. Sometimes it’s better if kids don’t know the truth about things like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and rocker fathers who didn’t want them around.
“It still doesn’t make it okay,” Cash says.
Darrell responds. “All I did was point out to you guys that having the girls around was keeping all of you . . . all of us . . . from doing our best work. They used to inspire us to write, but then they just inspired us to party.”