Russ and Stephen glanced at each other. “Sure, why not? That would be nice,” Russ said.
Dan glanced at his watch. “I need to do a quick sweep of the place to make sure everything is in order and locked down for the night. Why don’t you two go now and grab a table? I can have this wrapped up in about fifteen minutes, and I have a babysitter for another hour or so. I like to take the opportunity to have a night off when I can get it.” He gave them a rueful smile. “Kids, man.”
Russ chuckled. “Sure, we can do that. Where were you thinking?”
“There’s a pub just around the corner. Pretty casual but good for conversation and drinks. If there’s somewhere else you’d rather go, I’m open to suggestions, but I have to admit I haven’t eaten since lunch, so if you don’t mind, a place with food would be ideal.”
“The pub sounds great, just give me the name and we’ll head over now,” Russ said.
After a brief walk, they found the pub with no trouble and were ushered right to a booth. On a Wednesday night, it wasn’t overly busy and the waitress assured them the kitchen would be open for another hour. Dan joined them a short while later, ordered a burger, and let out a heavy sigh when the waitress walked away.
“You seem to be running yourself ragged,” Stephen said. His tone was sympathetic. Russ agreed. Dan looked exhausted.
He cuffed his sleeves. “It’s this expansion. I love having all of these new facilities for the kids, but sometimes it feels like I have way too many balls up in the air.”
“You do some amazing work,” Russ said. He took a sip of his beer. He didn’t drink it often but this one was pretty good.
“It was Benjamin’s and my dream to make it happen, and when he died I promised myself I’d do it for him.”
Russ had always been tempted to ask how Dan’s husband had died, but Dan had never offered the information and Russ didn’t want to pry. “And you have foster and adopted kids at home, right?”
“Yeah.” A smile crossed his face. “Right now, just one adopted kid at home. Two are off at college this year. And I have a brother and a sister in foster care with me. Twins. Plus, an infant I’m fostering at the moment though there’s a more permanent arrangement for her underway.”
“That sounds daunting,” Stephen said.
“Well, juggling work and the kids along with the center as a single parent … it’s hard. I try to take a tiny bit of time off for myself like tonight.” He laughed humorlessly. “But I can’t remember the last time I had a full day off in, God, years to be honest. But it’s all very rewarding. And I love the kids so much. It’s worth it.”
There was such a thing as burnout, but Russ didn’t figure it was his place to lecture Dan on that. They were casual friends but hardly close.
“May I ask you a question?” Russ asked.
“Sure.”
Of course, the waitress took that moment to drop off the black and blue burger Dan had ordered so Russ filed away the question for later as he eyed the food. He wasn’t overly hungry but the sight and smell of it made his mouth water. “Damn, that looks good.”
Stephen chuckled. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
“We could order an appetizer?” Russ suggested.
“Sounds good.”
They were able to snag the waitress in time to order some lemon-pepper chicken wings while Dan dug into his meal. After he’d demolished half of the burger and a good portion of the fries, he looked up and gave them a small, sheepish grin. “Sorry, I was hungrier than I realized.”
“You’re fine.” Russ waved it off. “Far be it from me to keep a man from his dinner. Especially when that dinner happens at”—he glanced at his watch—“10:17 p.m.”
Dan chuckled and took a sip of the draft beer he’d ordered. “So, what was your question?”
“I am curious about one of the kids I met tonight. What’s Austin’s story?” Russ asked quietly when he was sure the waitress was gone. “If you can talk about that. I don’t mean to pry if that’s not something you can share.”
“Honestly, there isn’t much I can share. I can tell you that he’s in foster care, but beyond that I can’t say much about his history. CPS has some pretty strict regs and we try to respect the kids’ privacies.”
“Of course.”
“I can tell you the bare bones though.” Dan shrugged. “It’s more or less the usual situation, I’m afraid. Rough home life led to CPS taking custody of him. He bounced through a series of foster homes. He’s with a great family now though.”
“He mentioned a sister? Kellie, I think.”
“Yes,” Dan said. “The family took them both in a few years ago.”
“And she’s homeless now?”
“Yes.” Dan sighed. “I don’t fully understand the situation but there were some struggles with the family last year and she left. She’s an adult now but unfortunately she’s been homeless for a while.”
“That’s sad.”
“It is. They really wanted to help her. Thanks to a change in the law a few years ago, foster kids can stay in the system until they’re twenty-one, but unfortunately some chose to opt out when they turn eighteen. We always offer them a place at the residential facility while we helped them find job placement and an apartment but they just …” He shook his head. “Some of these kids are hurting so badly. We do all we can to help them heal, but at times they turn on themselves and self-destruct.”
“That’s awful,” Stephen said. “I understand it, but …”
“I know.” Dan sighed heavily. “It’s heartbreaking to watch. Unfortunately, the situations are massively complicated under the best of circumstances but it gets so much worse when you’re talking about LGBTQ kids. There are just too few foster families willing to take them in. And the ones who do find homes don’t always thrive there.”
Russ sighed. “I hate that.” He wondered if Austin was LGBTQ or Kellie was. That was way too personal of a question to ask though.
“So do I,” Dan said. “And while I don’t begrudge any kid coming out early, it’s getting younger and younger and that makes our job more complicated. We’re seeing more and more kids in their early teens.”
“Yeah, I was surprised by how many young kids there were here tonight,” Russ said.
“For every one we help, I know there are likely dozens who slip through the cracks. Ones still in abusive situations, ones on the streets we can’t reach.” Dan shook his head. “It feels like a never-ending avalanche sometimes, but all I—all we—can do is take it one kid at a time. Create some stability for them and work to increase the resources we have to help more. One kid at a time.”
Russ nodded thoughtfully. “I want to do what I can.”
“And I appreciate that.” Dan shot him a grateful smile. “And all of the kids there do, too.”
“How do you not feel like you’re just drowning in it all?”
He shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “By doing this. By looking after my own children. By reminding myself that while I can’t change the whole world, I can do so much to change the world of the individual kids I come in contact with.”
“That makes sense,” Russ said.
“Just repeat ‘one kid at a time’ to yourself every time you feel overwhelmed,” Dan said. “And what you and Stephen have done already has been an enormous help. You have no idea how much we appreciate what you’ve already contributed. Your work has increased funding to the center, contributed to its expansion, and spread the word about it to the greater community. That has impacted dozens—if not hundreds—of at-risk youth.”
“It just doesn’t feel like enough,” Russ said with a sigh.
Stephen squeezed his shoulder and Russ leaned into the touch gratefully.
“We do what we can,” Dan repeated. “And that has to be enough.”
“You okay?” Stephen asked as he turned onto Peachtree Boulevard. Russ had been nearly silent on the drive home from the pub.
“Hmm? Yeah, just thinking ab
out everything Dan said today.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I keep thinking about all of these kids that get kicked out of their homes. Like Evan did. But they’re not even adults.”
“I know.” Stephen gave him a small, sad smile.
“How can they live with themselves?”
“Who? The parents?”
“Yeah. And the foster parents.”
“I have no idea, Russ. I know some kids have major behavioral problems, but …” He shook his head.
“Wouldn’t you at least try?” Russ argued. “Especially the foster parents. If you deliberately brought a kid like that into your life, wouldn’t you try to do whatever it took to help?”
“We don’t know that they didn’t,” Stephen pointed out. “I am sure there are times when some of them do everything in their power to help the kids but simply can’t manage it. We have no idea what the situation is for each of those kids. I’m not saying I’m excusing it, but I doubt these situations are ever as clear-cut as they seem from the outside.”
“I suppose not,” Russ grumbled.
“I love that you care so much.” Stephen patted his thigh. “You’re a very empathetic person and I love that about you.”
“I just hate how helpless it makes me feel.” Russ let out a noisy sigh.
“We’ll just have to keep volunteering at the center. Like Dan said, that’s all we really can do.”
“I know.” Russ shook his head, then let out a little groan. “Sorry. We should be celebrating what you accomplished today. It sounds like your meeting went well.”
“It wasn’t that big.”
“That’s not how Dan made it sound.”
“Dan is just grateful to not have to do it all himself. But trust me, he was the force behind that meeting. The donors were blown away by his speech. He’s very compelling.”
“Should I be jealous?” Russ teased. “Are you falling for the director?”
Stephen snorted as he pulled into his parking spot. “No. Just pleased the organization is in such good hands.”
“Yeah, I am too. He’s done some amazing stuff.”
They continued to talk as they went up to their condo and got ready for bed. The conversation moved on to other topics as they got everything ready for work the following day and prepared for bed. But Russ seemed a million miles away as they settled under the covers.
Long after the lights were out, he was restless. Every time Stephen drifted off; Russ flipped onto his other side with a sigh and woke him from his doze. Stephen spooned behind him with a sleepy groan.
“You okay?” he asked, sliding a hand across Russ’s stomach, hoping the touch would help settle him.
Russ sighed and scooted closer to him. “Not really. I’m still thinking about the kids there tonight. I don’t know why I can’t get them out of my head. Especially Austin.”
“He’s in a safe place,” Stephen assured him. “Dan said he has a foster family who cares about him.”
“I know that,” Russ said. “Something about him just got to me. He looked so lonely. He was really upset because his sister didn’t show up.”
“Well, you’ve been looking for an opportunity to do some mentoring. Maybe he’s the kid you could pair up with.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Russ said. “A couple of hours a week doesn’t seem like much though. There must be more I can do to help.”
“Get some sleep, Russ,” Stephen said gently. “There’s nothing you can do at this hour of the night. You can speak to Dan tomorrow and see what else he suggests, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks.” Russ craned his neck for a quick kiss. Stephen happily returned it. “Didn’t mean to keep you up.”
“It’s okay.” Stephen pulled him closer. “Your problems are my problems, you know that. We’ll figure it out together.”
In the time they’d been married, Stephen had found there was very little that they couldn’t figure out together if they put their minds to it.
THREE
“We should drive to the center separately today,” Russ said the following Saturday as he washed his dishes from breakfast.
Stephen gave him a quizzical look over the rim of his coffee cup.
“I’m going over to the drop-in center again today,” he explained.
“Oh. Are they still short on staff?”
“They are.” Russ hesitated. “I volunteered to go there though. As much as I love helping out with the marketing campaigns, I feel like at this point I’m more of a figurehead than anything. I help coordinate, but everyone else has it pretty well under control. And they can always email with questions. I want to do some more hands-on things with the kids.”
“Sure, that makes sense.”
“Dan was on board too.”
“I think it’s great,” Stephen said. He crossed the distance between them and dropped a kiss on Russ’s lips. “They’ll be lucky to have you there.”
Russ drove to the drop-in center while Stephen headed to the organization’s headquarters. Russ missed driving in together, but he promised himself he’d do something special for Stephen when he got home that afternoon.
As Russ walked in the door of the drop-in center, he was surprised to see how much busier the place was on a Saturday morning. There were a handful of kids talking on the couches, two more playing ping-pong, and he could hear—and smell—a cooking demonstration coming from the kitchen area. A glance across the hall showed more kids at the computer stations, and Maria gave him a distracted wave.
Darius smiled widely. “Glad to see you back, man. I know the shift can be pretty boring.”
Russ shook his hand. “I liked being able to help out in a more hands-on way. Anything different I should know about today?”
“We’ve got some classes scheduled. Basic cooking skills in the kitchen, photography in the back, and I’m doing a short appointment-keeping class as well.”
“Oh, interesting,” Russ said. “That’s not something I would have thought about.”
“Hey, it’s important.”
Russ considered his own upbringing. His father had worked a shit ton of hours until his disability put him out of work, but he’d never failed to take Russ to doctor’s appointments and meet with his teachers and all of those little things. “No, that makes sense.” He flashed Darius a smile. “I guess I take some things for granted.”
“I think most of us do.”
Russ had just taken a seat at the desk, and Darius had disappeared to set up for the class, when the door opened. He recognized Austin’s reddish hair immediately and the tall kid—Carlos—with a couple of others he’d never seen.
They trooped over to sign in.
“Hey, Austin,” Russ said as he approached.
Austin barely glanced at him as he scribbled his name down and walked over to the couch where a girl in ratty jeans and a hoodie sat. “Where have you been, Kellie?”
“Sorry. Couldn’t get here last week,” she muttered. She drew her knees up to her chest and hid behind her dark shaggy hair that poked out from under a beanie. She didn’t look much older than Austin, although Dan had said she was nineteen.
“Where were you?” Austin demanded. “I was worried.”
“Just around.” She shrugged.
“I thought something happened to you.”
“I’m fine.” There was an edge of annoyance in her voice.
Austin scowled. “Why are you being so mean today?”
She sighed. “I’m not trying to be. I just had a bad day.”
“Are you hungry? There’s food in the back.”
“Darius already asked me that. I’m not hungry.”
They lapsed into silence for a while.
“You act like you don’t even want to see me,” Austin eventually muttered.
“I do, Austin. I’m just having a crappy day, okay?”
“Okay.” He stared at her a moment. “Scoot over. I want to show you the new graphic novel I got.”
Her expression softened. “Sure, I’d like that.”
She shifted to the side and Austin settled next to her. Russ watched them surreptitiously as Austin flipped through the pages. Slowly, Kellie’s unhappy expression lifted, and she laughed with him as she pointed out something. When they were done, Austin set the comic book on the arm of the sofa.
“Thanks, Austin,” she said softly. “I liked that one.”
“Yeah?” Austin’s face lit up in the first genuine smile Russ had seen from him.
“Yeah, it was great.” Her face was softer too as she smiled back at her brother.
“I don’t like when I can’t get ahold of you,” he said. Her expression fell. “What if I needed something?”
“Austin I can’t always afford minutes. You know that. And it’s hard to charge my phone.”
“I know, but …”
“Stop pushing me. God, things are hard enough without you expecting me to take care of you too,” she snapped.
“You’re my big sister. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” he asked hotly.
“Hey, guys,” Russ said softly as he rose to his feet. “Please, you need to remember to lower your voices and speak respectfully to each other.”
Kellie gave him a scathing look. “Shut up, old man.”
“Old man?” he sputtered. “I’m thirty! But that’s beside the point. Being respectful to everyone here is part of the rules.”
“Whatever.” She scrambled off the oversized chair. “I’m out of here.”
“Wait! Don’t leave!” Austin caught the hem of her hoodie and looked pleadingly up at his sister. “Please.”
She shook him off and walked toward the door. “God, don’t be so needy, Austin.”
He scrambled up off the chair and grabbed his backpack as she disappeared. “Wait!” he called as he burst through the door, slamming it behind him.
Russ grimaced. Shit, that hadn’t gone well at all. He probably should have gotten Maria the moment it escalated. Unsure of what to do now, Russ went in search of her.
“Hey, Maria, do you have a sec? A couple of the kids left, and I have a question for you.”
Full Balance (The Peachtree Series Book 3) Page 3