“Sure.” She smiled at the blond kid she stood next to. “I’ll be right back, Jordan. Just keep working on problem six.”
“Okay.”
Maria found a quieter corner and gave Russ a quizzical look. “What happened?”
“Austin and Kellie were arguing. She left and he took off after her. Should I be worried about that, or …”
She sighed. “It’s not good that they argued, but it’s not uncommon. She bolts and he goes after her.”
“I just wasn’t sure what the rules were for kids leaving.”
“They can come and go as they please,” Maria said. “We can’t force them to stay here. As far as Austin, he’ll probably head home. He doesn’t live far from here actually. He has permission to walk to and from here and his foster family knows he comes to visit Kellie. Some of us give him a ride home at night if it’s too late, but otherwise he has free rein. I will let his foster mom know he’s left here so if he doesn’t come home shortly, we can do something, but we try to give the kids the benefit of the doubt that they’re behaving as they’re supposed to unless we have reason to believe otherwise.”
“Okay, good,” Russ said with a relieved sigh.
“I’m assuming he didn’t sign out though?” Maria asked.
“No. Neither did Kellie.”
“If you could make a note in the sign-in book about that for both of their entries, that would be helpful.”
“Sure.” He turned to Maria. “Hey, kind of off-topic, but who would I talk to about mentoring?”
“Me, actually.” She gave him a small smile. “We all wear multiple hats here, especially these days.”
“I’d like to be a mentor. Honestly, I was kind of wondering if Austin was interested. I don’t know what it is about him, but …”
Maria gave him an understanding smile. “Some kids just tug at our heartstrings, so I get that. I’m not sure if Austin is interested or not. I’ll check the list of kids who’ve signed up and see if he was one of them and get you the forms to fill out for the mentorship program now. While I take care of that, would you do one thing for me?”
“Sure.”
“See if Austin is sitting out on the porch. He hangs out there sometimes even in bad weather. Says he likes to think. I don’t want to text his foster mother and worry her unless I’m sure he’s actually left.”
“Sure,” Russ said, feeling a little foolish he hadn’t considered that. “I’ll do that now.”
Sure enough, Russ pushed open the door to find Austin huddled in a chair on the porch, hoodie up as he stared out at the drizzly rain. Russ walked a little closer. “Hey, you okay?” he asked softly.
Austin didn’t even look over. “Yeah.”
“You sure?” he asked quietly. “You looked pretty upset earlier after your sister left.”
Austin just grunted.
“I can stay around if you want someone to talk to.”
He lifted his head and scowled. “I want you to leave me alone.”
“Okay.” Russ lifted his hands. “Okay. I won’t bug you.” He fished a business card out of his wallet. “But if you need anything, you call me or text me, okay?” He wrote his cell phone number on the back and handed it to Austin.
“Whatever,” Austin said. But when Russ reached the door, he glanced back, half expecting to see Austin toss it on the floor or rip it up. He was surprised to see him tucking it in a zippered pocket on his backpack. Russ turned away and opened the door to the center with a smile, not wanting Austin to realize he’d noticed.
“You’ve seemed a bit distracted today,” Stephen gently pointed out later that evening as they left a new restaurant in Midtown. Stephen had enjoyed his steak, but it was no Midtown Soul. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I’m still thinking about the kid at the drop-in center,” Russ said as they turned left to walk the two blocks back home.
The rain had stopped, but it wasn’t a particularly pleasant evening. Still, it was nice to be out, just the two of them.
Stephen relaxed. He hadn’t really thought it was anything in their relationship he needed to be concerned about, but he’d wanted to be sure. He could understand Russ’s concern about the kid at the center though. “What was his name again? Austin?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you talk to whoever is in charge of mentoring?”
“I did. Maria gave me a form to fill out. It sounds like Austin isn’t one of the kids signed up for that program though.” Russ sounded disappointed.
“Well, not everyone is suited to it,” Stephen said diplomatically, though he knew it must be driving Russ nuts.
“I know, but …”
“Russ, you can’t force a kid to ask for help if they don’t want it,” he gently pointed out.
“Oh, I know.” Russ sighed and tilted his head back to look at the sky. Stephen glanced up too but there was just a haze above. There were heavy clouds and too much light from the city to see anything.
“So, find a kid who does need it.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Now,” Stephen said sternly. “We are supposed to be out on a date this evening. Am I going to need to take you over my knee to get you to pay attention to me?”
“It couldn’t hurt.” Russ’s grin was sly as he slipped his hand through the crook of Stephen’s elbow.
“Sure it could.” Stephen grinned back. “I can make it very uncomfortable if you’d like me to.”
Russ chuckled. “There was that one day a few weeks ago when sitting at work was … very distracting.”
“You told me you loved that.”
“I did.”
“You’re shameless.”
“Oh, I definitely am. But you made me this way. I was never like this with anyone else.”
“So, you’re blaming me now,” Stephen said. He grabbed Russ by the waist and pulled him in. “I don’t think so, boy.”
Russ shot him a grin.
“For what it’s worth, I was never like this with anyone else either,” Stephen admitted.
“No?”
“No, Russ.” Stephen gave him a look. “This is entirely different for me. I wouldn’t have dreamed of trying some of the things we’ve done with anyone else. It’s because I trust you so much.”
“I trust you too,” Russ said. “Or I wouldn’t let you have your way with me the way I do.”
A woman walking by gave them a scandalized look.
Stephen chuckled. “Come on, let’s get home so I can have my way with you without an audience.” He stole a quick kiss and resumed walking, very very eager to get home. Russ scrambled to catch up, and Stephen smiled as he thought about what he had planned for the evening.
Russ’s ass was tender as it rubbed against the sheets with every slow thrust of Stephen’s cock. Spanking wasn’t something they did every time they had sex but it was a nice addition from time to time and tonight it had distracted him from the thoughts that had been swirling around in his head all day. Now, all he could think about was the pleasure building in him. He lay on his back, legs wrapped around Stephen’s waist as he rocked in and out. It was maddeningly slow and so, so good.
“I love you.” Stephen breathed the words against his mouth, and Russ turned his attention where it belonged.
“Stephen …” Russ clenched around him, aware of the full stretch of Stephen’s cock and the ache in his balls. Sweat slicked their bodies wherever they touched, and Russ grabbed Stephen’s ass, urging him to go harder, deeper. “I need to come.”
“Not yet.” Stephen nipped at his lip. “I want to savor this. We don’t take enough time to just go slow.”
Russ groaned with frustration, but it was true. They were always running in one direction or the other. So pent up from work and life that they usually fucked hard and rough. But this … this slow, sweet slide was enough to drive him mad.
“Love you too,” he rasped, responding to Stephen’s earlier comment. “Even when you torture me like this.”
&
nbsp; He felt Stephen chuckle as much as he heard it, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he stared down at Russ. His forehead was damp with perspiration and his gaze was filled with emotion. “You love when I torture you like this.”
Russ thought back to earlier, when Stephen had rimmed him, then licked and sucked his balls. “Yeah, I do.”
“Good. Because I have no intention of stopping now.” Every thrust was slow and measured as Stephen drew back and slowly slid in again. Russ clenched around him and Stephen let out a little groan. He dropped his head, licking at the sweat of Russ’s neck, using his teeth to send shudders of pleasure through his body.
“Stephen …” Russ’s head was hazy with pleasure, with love, with the sheer intensity of the moment. He ran his hands up the firm muscles of Stephen’s back and closed his eyes, sinking into the rhythm of his thrusts, surrendering to his pace. To his control.
“You’re such a good boy for me,” Stephen whispered. “You take my cock so perfectly.”
All Russ could do was moan.
They went on like that for what felt like forever with the pleasure slowly building. Every time Russ thought he was about to come, Stephen would slow down further. Russ’s cock rubbed against the hard planes of their stomachs pressed tightly together but slicked by sweat and pre-cum. It kept him teetering on the edge, ready to tip over but not quite enough.
A tremor went through Stephen’s body that told Russ he was getting close too.
“I need you to fill me,” Russ whispered. “I need your cum, Stephen. Please.”
“I’m close,” he murmured against his skin. He grazed his teeth across the spot, just as he drove in hard. Russ convulsed around him, fighting to hold back because Stephen hadn’t given him permission yet.
“Please, please,” he said, his voice cracked and filled with desperation.
“Come for me, baby,” Stephen rasped in his ear. “Come all over me while I fill you.”
Russ let go with a gasp, so filled with emotion it seemed like that spilled out too as he shot between their bodies. A moment later, Stephen let out a groan and shuddered against him.
The orgasm seemed to go on and on, but when they were both spent, Stephen collapsed on him. Russ pulled him tighter, loving the weight of him, the solid reassuring presence of him.
“Love you,” Stephen murmured. “So much.”
“I love you too.” They rolled onto their sides, bodies pressed together. Russ buried his head against the pillow, content as he dozed lightly, lulled by the steady thump of Stephen’s heart against his.
Eventually, he roused himself, but when Stephen made a move to get up too, Russ gently pressed him back against the mattress. “I’ll get something for you to clean up with.”
Stephen gave him a lazy smile and stretched. “I won’t argue.”
Stephen did so much for him. Took care of him in so many ways. Some obvious, some far more subtle. A few minutes later, Russ tenderly wiped Stephen’s skin with a damp cloth, but when he went to get up, Stephen gently grabbed his wrist and drew him in for a kiss. “Thank you.”
Russ ran his thumb across Stephen’s lower lip. He didn’t have the words for what he was feeling, so he tried to convey it with his gaze. And when Stephen gave him a long look and nodded once, Russ knew he’d understood.
Stephen was mostly asleep by the time he returned to the bedroom, and Russ clicked out the light and slid under the covers. He snuggled against Stephen’s warm body and sleepily pulled him close.
Russ let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. He lay there in the dark, half-dozing, as his brain worked through his day. It had been a good one. Volunteering, spending time with Stephen … contentment filled him. But when his thoughts touched on the kids at the center, the peace was swept away by sadness. He thought of Austin and Kellie. Of all of the kids there who were relying on the kindness of strangers because their own families were shattered and the people they were supposed to trust had failed them. He thought of how much need there was.
He flipped onto his back with a sigh. So much for sleeping. The thoughts invaded and pushed away all of the sleepy contentment he’d felt, leaving him wide awake and worried. Stephen rolled away from Russ as he stared up at the ceiling thinking about his own upbringing. He’d been so lucky, having a dad like Alan. Not a day went by that he wasn’t painfully aware of how much gratitude he felt for having a father who supported him and loved him the way Alan did.
He and Stephen were lucky now too. At the end of the day they could always go home to their luxurious condo and cushy lives. Kellie was homeless and couldn’t afford the minutes to call her brother. Russ couldn’t remember the last time he’d wondered if he had enough money for something.
It had been years since he’d worried about overdrawing his account or how he was going to afford to pay for groceries and gas. He no longer lived with the clawing anxiety of one forgotten payment leading to fees and overcharges and just digging deeper and deeper into the hole of debt.
It wasn’t that he felt guilty for how fortunate he was now. He’d worked hard for what he had and so had Stephen. But he had been lucky too. And while they’d both grown up poor and fighting against homophobia, they’d both been privileged in a lot of ways. Russ felt a sudden need to do more, to give back. He’d found so much pleasure in helping Evan get his feet under him and his life moving forward, and he wanted more of that.
But what more could he do?
There are kids in need of homes. You have a home you could offer them. The second the thought popped into his head, the enormity of it jolted him wide awake.
No, he argued with himself. You don’t want kids.
But the thought whirled around in his brain, battering at it, like a moth trying to get out, and he knew he’d wouldn’t be able to sleep until he found a way to silence it.
With a sigh, he carefully crawled out of bed so as not to disturb Stephen, then pulled on a pair of sweats and a long-sleeve tee. He padded down the stairs to the living room and stared out at the lights of Midtown Atlanta. They offered no answers either, and his bare feet grew cold. So he walked over to the sectional and grabbed a throw blanket. The large windows let in plenty of ambient light, so he didn’t bother to turn any more on as he wrapped himself up in the fabric and took a seat.
“You don’t want kids,” he reminded himself. And neither did Stephen.
But what about an older foster kid?
That’s still becoming a parent.
There’s a huge difference between going down the road of finding a surrogate and raising a child from an infant and taking in a teenager, he argued. It would be more like helping out Evan.
His stomach churned as thoughts whirled through his brain. This was bigger than when he’d decided to find his mother. Bigger than when he’d proposed to Stephen.
Russ remembered the sick feeling of Stephen saying no to his proposal and wondered what would happen this time if he voiced this sudden desire to take in a foster kid. Russ had grown up some, gotten better at communication, but what would happen if he voiced his thoughts and Stephen turned down the idea? What if he wanted this and Stephen didn’t? Did he want it enough to risk their relationship?
Russ felt sick at the thought.
Was anything more important than their relationship?
He trusted Stephen and they’d already worked through so much, but this was huge. The biggest stumbling point they might ever face. Because if they went through with it, it would totally disrupt the entire future they’d laid out together. The thought made him queasy.
Eventually, exhaustion won out over the worry though and he leaned more and more heavily onto the pillow beside him until he nodded off. When he woke, he was stretched out on his side and the sky was barely beginning to lighten. The moment his eyes opened, the worry returned full force.
Russ let out a heavy sigh as he sat upright. Unfortunately, sleep hadn’t led to any lightning bolt realizations of how to broach the subject with Stephen. “Fuck,” he
muttered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
He sat there, staring out the window at the quiet city until he heard the soft footfall of Stephen’s steps as he walked down the stairs.
“Morning,” Stephen said. He wore gray sweats and a gray and red UGA sweatshirt. As much as Russ loved Stephen pressed and polished in suits and ties, he liked these moments too. Weekend Stephen with casual clothes and messy hair, all warm and relaxed looking, was equally sexy.
Russ stood, the blanket still draped around him, and stepped forward to press his body against Stephen’s.
“How long have you been up?” Stephen asked with a concerned frown. He put his arms around Russ and held him close. Russ sank into the embrace as he shot him a tired smile, exhausted and bleary-eyed but too wound up to fall asleep again. “A while. Couldn’t sleep. I got restless and didn’t want to keep you up, so I came out here. I slept for a while, but I woke up early and I’ve just kinda been sitting out here since.”
“Everything all right?”
Russ licked his lips. “Mostly. I have something on my mind, but I have to work through it first before I talk about it. I definitely will talk to you about it but not quite yet, okay?”
Stephen’s look of concern deepened to worry. “Okay.” He nodded and kissed Russ’s forehead. “Well, talk to me when you’re ready.”
“I promise I will,” Russ said. He meant every word of it.
“Would you like to go back to bed or for me to make some coffee?”
“Coffee, please. I won’t be able to fall back asleep.”
“Okay. You can always take a nap this afternoon if you need to.” But he didn’t let go and Russ was grateful. Feeling Stephen’s arms around him helped anchor him. Reminded him how much was at stake here. He needed to think this through before he leapt. Stephen continued, “I don’t have any major plans for the day.”
“No, me either,” Russ said absently, still thinking about what to say. He was grateful Stephen hadn’t pushed. But he almost wished he had. Because he had no idea how to tell Stephen what he’d been thinking.
It had the potential to change everything.
Full Balance (The Peachtree Series Book 3) Page 4