Penance

by Kristin Harte

She huffed a laugh even as her arms rose so she could clutch at my hair. “I’m far from perfect.”

  “Perfect for me.”

  Jinx stopped laughing. Stopped moving and breathing too. She simply stood and stared at me, those deep, gray eyes locking on mine. Telling me everything I needed to know without words. She was ready. She wanted more.

  Me too.

  I leaned in for another kiss, keeping my hands steady on her hips. Keeping my movements slow so she could refuse me if she wanted to. She didn’t hesitate or pull away, though. Instead, she dove in and took control of the kiss, demanding more from me. Giving herself to me in the most obvious and enthusiastic way.

  So I took what she offered.

  Guiding her, I turned us and moved toward the bed. Laying her down as I followed her. Bringing our bodies together with me on top of her smaller form. So soft and hot, so willing. There was no holding back with her, no stopping.

  At least not until she hissed and arched away from the mattress.

  “Are you okay?” I pushed up onto my arms. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. It’s just…” She bit her lip and turned her head, hiding from me. “My back bothers me sometimes.”

  Knowing that I needed to look, that I had to understand what had happened to her, I rolled to my side and nudged her over. She turned willingly though not without pause. And not without hiding her face from me.

  “Jesus.” Rage. It burned under my skin. This girl…her back…someone had really done a number on her. Someone who deserved to die. “These aren’t old.”

  “No.”

  “When?” I ran my fingers over the slashes across her back, afraid to do more than brush them for fear of causing her pain. “And who?”

  “Before I came here. Some Soul Suckers guy got off on whipping women.” She rolled back a little, finally meeting my eyes. “Your brother saved me.”

  “In Vegas?” I sighed as she looked away, confirming my suspicions. “There was no Vegas trip.”

  Jinx shook her head. “I didn’t know the guy who had me. Didn’t know your brother or Deacon when they came in either, though they seemed the better bet than going back to the Soul Suckers.”

  No fucking doubt. “I’m glad they got you out.”

  “I’m glad they brought me here.” She rolled the rest of the way, curling back into my arms. “I’m glad they brought me to you.”

  So many thoughts and questions raced through my head—who’d whipped her? Where was he? How soon could I rip his hands off and beat him with them? All things that could wait. Jinx was with me—safe and secure and needing comfort, not cruelty. Needing my time, not my vengeance.

  She’d get both. Eventually.

  “Don’t let me hurt you,” I said, rolling her on top of me. “Ever, Jinx. I don’t care what it is—never let me hurt you.”

  “You would never.”

  “Not intentionally, no. But sometimes, I don’t know how far to push. I don’t always know the rules.”

  She stayed silent for a second, holding me. The tension in her body slowly easing under my touch. “So you choose not to push at all.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I can see people thinking that’s a weakness.” She leaned down, rubbing herself over where I was so hard for her as she kissed me. As she brushed her lips against mine and rolled that sweet, hot wetness all over me. “That restraint takes so much strength.”

  I thought about all the times I’d held back—with Alder, with Bishop, even with Deacon. All the times someone had pushed me a little over the edge and my temper had flared. Hell, Bishop had punched me square in the jaw, but I’d let him walk away without once raising my fists to him. Without a word either. I’d let him think he’d won that fight because I knew, if I let go, I’d hurt him. Yeah, that took strength. No one had ever noticed before, though. They’d always assumed I was just quiet. Maybe a little meek.

  If only they knew.

  But all that could wait. All the people in my life who doubted or underestimated me could disappear for the moment. I had a hot, willing female ready to ride me, and I was going to enjoy every second of that trip. So long as she was ready to go on it with me.

  “You feel so good,” I said as I gripped Jinx’s hips and helped slide her back and forth over my cock. “So soft and wet. I just want to lick you up.”

  “I’d rather we skip that. For now.” She reached between us and wrapped her hand around me, gripping tight and tugging as she stared down at it. As she made my eyes roll back with such a simple touch. “Do you have any condoms?”

  Words were too hard, so I fumbled instead for the nightstand drawer, grabbing the unopened box from where it had sat all year. I tossed them on the bed, groaning and closing my eyes as Jinx pulled harder. As she jacked me off with her hot little hands. As she teased me closer and closer to the point of no return. So long. It’d been so long since I’d felt this much. Since I’d let myself feel. She was going to kill me, and I hadn’t even gotten inside her yet.

  Hips rising into her stroke, I murmured a rough, “If you don’t stop, I’m going to come.”

  Her giggle lit up my entire world. “I think that’s sort of the point.”

  I jackknifed up, grabbing her hand and stilling it. “Ladies first. Just hop on board.”

  With a roll of her eyes, she reached for the condom box, taking the time to rip it open and pull out one foil packet. She took care of sheathing me, keeping her eyes on mine as she worked her hands between us. Keeping me enthralled in her very presence as she took care of the necessities. And when she was done—when our protection was in place—she smirked.

  “So…unlike the bikers I grew up around, you’re going to let a pussy ride?”

  Fuck me, that filthy mouth. “Baby, trust me when I say I’d love to roll you over and fuck you right through the floor. But I have a feeling your back would make that less than pleasant for you, and I want you to enjoy this. So yeah, ride me. I’m man enough to let a woman be in charge.”

  And take charge, she did. Rocking and rolling and groaning and angling her hips until we were lined up. Until she was so wet and ready that the tip slipped in easily. Until I had to grab hold of her thighs and hang on as I lifted my hips off the bed so I could nudge my way inside where she was so fucking hot for me. And tight. My god was she tight.

  “Finn,” she called as she sank lower, dropping her head to watch where we were coming together. “I can’t stop.”

  “So, don’t.” I arched higher, pushing deeper. Hanging on tighter as I fought the instinct to simply ram myself home and bunny-hump to completion. I wasn’t a fucking kid—I could hold on. Could do better for her than that. I had to. “I’ll give that greedy pussy all she wants. You don’t have to stop.”

  It took about four thrusts to slide all the way inside of her, about another three to work out our rhythm so we could move in tandem. After that, it was game on. I bit my lip to keep the curses at bay as I fucked up into the heaven of my girl, as I lost myself to her heat and her smell and the bliss of being completely surrounded by her.

  Jinx didn’t hold back for a second either. Rocking and bouncing and teasing her nipples as I worked her clit with my fingers. I needed her to come so badly. Needed to see her fall apart before I could do the same. I might have been man enough to truly enjoy a woman being on top, but I wasn’t the type of guy to get mine without making sure my partner was satisfied first. Later, I’d get her off on my tongue. This time, it needed to be on my cock with my fingers backing me up. This time was all about Jinx.

  “That’s it,” I said as she began moving faster and more erratically, chasing her own high. “That’s the way to do it. Give it to me.”

  “Finn,” she said, gasping and rolling her shoulders forward as she shook her head. “I need…I need…”

  She needed all right, and I had an instinct of that that was. I moved my hand along her pussy, circling harder and faster against her clit. Working her over until she finally broke. Finally came with a sh
udder and a cry that would have woken everyone in the house had we not been alone. Milking my cock with every pulse.

  So good, so good, so good.

  I followed right behind her, unable to wait a second more. So thankful that I’d made it through her orgasm after so many years of nothing more than my hand. I felt like a fucking rock star for holding out, like a king for making her go limp in my arms. I’d satisfied my girl.

  And I totally planned to do that again and again and again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  JINX

  Waking up wrapped in Finn’s arms may have been both the most amazing and terrifying moment of my life. The warmth of him, the gentleness was something I craved. Something I loved so much. Something I’d never experienced before. Something I knew better than to get used to.

  “Morning,” he mumbled as he pulled me tighter against his chest. “What are you thinking about so early in the morning?”

  How much I’ll miss you when this is over. “Just this whole situation.”

  “You mean this situation—” he ground his hips against my ass, gripping my breast tight in one hand as he did “—or the Soul Suckers situation.”

  Soul Suckers and Black Angels. I wasn’t sure who to be more afraid of anymore. Not after last night when they’d both come rolling up together. I hadn’t taken the time to really think that through yet—Finn had kept me pretty distracted after we’d left The Jury Room—but it was bad. Those two clubs working together was really, really bad. Specifically, for me. Something Finn still didn’t know about, and that I wasn’t ready to tell him… yet.

  “Definitely the clubs,” I said, curling into his hold. Craving more of his touch to keep me centered, calm, and distracted. “Though I could switch my train of thought if you want me to.”

  He kissed my neck and held me tight, sighing into my neck. “It’s not about what I want. It’s about you.”

  Typical Finn. The words were so sweet, so kind, that they physically hurt my heart to hear. I couldn’t even think of an answer other than, “I’m fine.”

  “‘Fine’? That’s not what I want to hear.” He pulled back a little, not taking his touch away but giving me more room to move. “How about we do something else? Give you a chance to get past fine.”

  “Like what?”

  He rolled me over, looking down into my eyes with an earnest expression as he asked, “Are you hungry?”

  A serious question called for a serious answer. “Always.”

  “Good.” He patted my ass and gave me one more kiss. “Get up, Lucky. Let me feed you.”

  Ten minutes later, I sat at his kitchen table as Finn moved about the space. Scrambled eggs and toast were on the menu this morning along with coffee—his with lots of cream and sugar. I had a feeling this was his usual breakfast meal, that he didn’t vary the menu very often, if at all. Consistency had nothing on Finn Kennard.

  I sipped my own coffee—cream, no sugar—and watched the man move through his kitchen. Watched him set up pans and pull out bread to toast, stared as he dug through his refrigerator—all that produce really did take up a lot of space—for things like butter, strawberry jam, and eggs. I watched, and I grew hungry for more than just food. The man was cooking for me, taking care of me. That was surprisingly sexy.

  “What’s wrong, Jinx?”

  My eyes darted to his almost of their own accord. Did he know I’d been thinking about him? Naked? In the kitchen?

  I shook my head and tried to clean up my dirty thoughts. “Nothing. Why?”

  “You’ve shifted in that seat at least five times. Are you not comfortable?”

  Consistent and observant. “I feel weird sitting on your furniture half naked.”

  He gave me a grin and raised his eyebrows, something that seemed much more like an invitation than it should have. “You’re welcome to be fully naked if you prefer.”

  Which would lead to sex. On counters. And tables. And maybe chairs. Is it getting hot in here?

  Distraction time. “I’d rather go in the opposite direction and be fully clothed. I mean, your shirt is quite comfy, but I need to get dressed. Do you think we can go to the motel after breakfast so I can grab more of my stuff?”

  He frowned, turning his attention back to the eggs he’d cracked into a bowl. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. At least not without letting Deacon and Parris know what we were doing in case we ran into trouble. I have stuff you can wear, though.”

  The way that last sentence came out—a little quieter, a little more shy—piqued my interest. “You do?”

  Finn turned all the way around, still whipping those eggs. Totally avoiding me. “Yeah. Check out the shelves in the laundry room for whatever you need.”

  I followed where he pointed, wanting more than his sweats or shorts and a cotton shirt but not saying anything. The threat to us was real enough to have me looking over my shoulder, so I knew better than to do anything that might put us in danger. Still, a pair of undies and a clean bra would have been nice at the moment—things I was pretty sure I had forgotten to grab. We’d had to leave so quickly that I’d thrown what I could into a bag, not thinking to the practicality of the garments. I hadn’t grabbed any of my undergarments or my dirty clothes, which would have been much more reasonable than the jeans, shorts, and hoodies I remembered snagging. What I wouldn’t give for fluffy socks and yoga pants. I dreamed of them sometimes, of how comfortable I used to be in them.

  Which was why I nearly stumbled to a stop when I saw the clothes on the shelves. Not just panties and bras but skirts and blouses, jeans and long-sleeved shirts, sweaters, what looked like yoga pants. A veritable department store of clothing. And when I approached, a bit fearful of what this all meant and why these were here, I found them all to be in my sizes. All looking new enough to make me wonder who they belonged to. Jealousy raged hot and bright under my skin, an emotion I had no right to feel, and yet—

  “Find them?” Finn stood in the doorway, looking very nervous. As he should.

  “You just collect women’s clothing in case someone decides to spend the night?” There was no way that could have come out in any way other than accusatory, and Finn’s frown told me he heard that tone in my voice.

  “I told you—I don’t bring anyone here. No one’s ever spent the night, and the only person I brought clothes here for was you.”

  That set me back on my heels. “Me?”

  “Yeah. You came to Justice with nothing. I wanted to make sure you didn’t stay here in that same boat.”

  He’d bought me clothes. He’d been buying me clothes. I thought over everything that had magically shown up at the motel or bar—shirts and jeans, underwear and socks. A thick winter coat with hat and gloves, even. I’d assumed Deacon had been stocking the bar with stuff specifically for me. Had I been that wrong?

  “All the stuff at the bar,” I said, reaching out to touch one pair of pants in particular. Yep, yoga pants. Soft and stretchy and more comfortable than anything I had in my bag. I was wearing those for sure. “The wardrobe malfunction stuff…”

  “For the customers, usually. Though I’ve been feeding the pile for you.” His frown deepened. “Parris had told me when you first got here that you lived in shorts and T-shirts, so that’s what I got. But I noticed you always seemed a little cold. That’s why I started bringing pants and long-sleeved shirts for you. There’s more of that stuff in the pile. I hadn’t brought them all to the bar yet.”

  “You bought yoga pants.”

  “My sister practically worships at the altar of them, so I thought you might like them as well. You’re always tugging at your waistband like your pants are uncomfortable.”

  Had I mentioned he was observant? Still, though—he wasn’t psychic. “How did you know my size?”

  “I paid attention to what you picked and then made sure to restock with the right size.”

  For some things, that would work, but… “You bought bras and panties.”

  “Yeah.” He blew ou
t a breath and ran a hand over the back of his neck, looking horribly uncomfortable. “Don’t hate me.”

  “Why would I hate you?”

  “I…those things make no sense to me size-wise, so I asked for help.”

  “You asked for help in picking out bras for me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “From who?”

  “My sister.”

  I’d never been more relieved even if I wasn’t sure why. “But I’ve never met your sister.”

  “She worked in the lingerie department of a high-end department store during her undergraduate years. She jokes that she can tell the right size bra for a woman from fifty paces. I sent her a couple of pictures of you to help me out.”

  Holy shit. “That’s a lot of effort.”

  “Not really.”

  I shook my head and crossed the floor, crowding him. Rising up onto the balls of my feet to press my lips to his. Once. Twice. A little added tongue just for the hell of it as his hand landed on my hip. I couldn’t get enough of this man.

  “You’re sweet.”

  “And you’re cold.” He kissed me once more, tugging me into him. Tangling our tongues together in a slow dance meant for lovers before backing away. “Get dressed. Eggs are ready when you are.”

  But I couldn’t let him leave. Couldn’t stop myself from calling out, “Finn.”

  He turned and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

  “Thanks. For making the effort.”

  “You’re worth it, Jinx.”

  Those words slammed into my gut like a fist. No one had ever thought I was worth the effort. No one but my mom, and even she had put the club and the men in her life before me. Finn barely knew me, but he put time into making me feel comfortable. Put effort into making me feel cared for. I didn’t deserve him. I didn’t deserve any of this—and there was no way I’d ever be able to pay him back for his kindness. I would owe him instead, and I hated owing anyone anything. That’s what had gotten me into this mess in the first place—a debt of sorts. A need to pay for something I couldn’t afford.

  After getting dressed—yoga pants and a sweater that felt about as soft as clouds looked—I walked back into the kitchen still stuck on those thoughts, wondering when the debt collector would come for me. When I’d lose everything to mistakes that weren’t mine. When the happy little rug Finn had laid out for me would be ripped away by the men who’d scarred my body and left me with nothing. I thought so hard that I didn’t even notice Finn until he set a plate of eggs in front of me with a side of toast—already buttered. So damn caring.