Shiva XIV

by Lyra Shanti

  Meddhi-Lan's greatest asset, though, was his inner will, which helped him to become the youngest high priest in the history of The Dei, and it was the underlying reason The Council did not often question his words.

  However, shortly after the birth of Shiva the Fourteenth, The Council had broken their usual loyalty and banded together in effort to confront the high priest to cast doubt on his proclamation.

  Meddhi-Lan, with proud face and hardened will, entered The Holy Room, followed by Pei, seconds behind him. He found The Holy Order standing in a semicircle around the great floor-painting of the Gods.

  Pei couldn’t help but notice the irony of the scene with his fellow priests gathered to question the very Gods that were painted below them. Looking at the floor's painting, he was captivated by the brilliance of the gold and blue colors of oil that reflected upon their stern, skeptical faces.

  They bowed to Meddhi-Lan, who bowed in return. Then, as customary, the student-priests broke the silence with an ancient chant about the Gods and their wisdom. When they finished, Meddhi-Lan spoke without reservation.

  “My fellow priests, I have made my decision, and I shall not make a second judgment, for the child is The Bodanya. Of this, I am certain.”

  The room fell silent. Only the eldest priest, Amun-Lan, who had once taught Meddhi-Lan, had the courage to publicly speak against him.

  “How can you be certain?” asked Amun-Lan. “With all due respect, High Priest, and greatest student of mine, have you not seen the child’s form?”

  Meddhi-Lan turned his head and calmly replied, “I have seen his form, yes.”

  Then Jin, Amun-Lan’s newest and youngest student, came forth to speak. “Yet, you do not question its purpose?” he asked, though he did not officially have the right to speak out of turn.

  Meddhi-Lan was slightly offended, but kept his control, for he saw a bit of his younger self within Jin. He also saw himself in Pei, who was only a couple of years older than Jin, yet possessed maturity beyond his years. Meddhi-Lan understood him far better than Jin, and it was partly why he decided to personally mentor Pei instead.

  “His purpose is to be The Bodanya Shiva,” Meddhi-Lan rebuked, “and that, he will be, no matter what his physical form.”

  One of the elder priests, who did not know how to easily accept Meddhi-Lan’s proposal, continued with another doubting question. “How can the child even be considered one thing or another?” he asked. “How do you know what it is? How do you know it is the true Adin?”

  “How can you even call it a he?” blurted Jin who seemed unable to keep his rebellious tongue quiet.

  Meddhi-Lan, clenched a fist and closed his eyes in effort to calm his soul. If Jin had not been a student of Amun-Lan, Meddhi-Lan would have lost his temper and asked for the boy's dismissal. Instead, he quietly gathered his wits, planning how he would clearly explain the situation.

  “He is The Adin,” Meddhi-Lan stated firmly. “There is no question. The Gods have granted us his soul in the form that he himself has chosen. It does not matter if it is different than before, or if it is different than any other being in The Un. He is The Great Adin, and I will call him by whatever he would have me call him.”

  Meddhi-Lan then walked in front of the young student who had angered him. He smiled and softly said, “Jin, perhaps you do not yet understand that the body and the soul are not of the same material. However, The Great Adin knows this, and he has come to this understanding with his Godly, subtle grace – all so that he may teach us with his infinite wisdom.”

  Jin's face lost its color as he had been clearly defeated by the high priest's noble words. All Jin could do was nod, turning his glance away from Medhhi-Lan's penetrating gaze. The high priest then turned to face the elders, as well as the rest of The Holy Order.

  “In this life as Shiva, the Fourteenth, Adin will guide us with his plans when he has come to a proper age, and when he is officially crowned king. Until then, we shall not question the ways of the Gods, or the royal line of the Shiva!”

  The council rested their heads and softly chanted, “So it was, and so it shall be.”

  Pei couldn’t help but smile, for his Lan had won over the council of priests just as he had done many, many times before.

  --

  By the time Ayn had reached his seventh year, he had already proven himself to believers and doubters alike. His mental abilities were beyond those of his predecessors, and it filled Meddhi-Lan with hope, yet apprehension.

  Ayn had been raised by the high priest like a son, with visits to his mother only once or twice a month. He had never known his birth-father, though Meddhi-Lan had said he was Amya’s favorite slave. Unfortunately, he had died from illness when Ayn was only an infant, and Ayn had no recollection of his father's visage. Nonetheless, he imagined his father as a tan, strong-backed man with a slave’s strength of will to match. Having never seen a picture or painting, however, Ayn couldn't be certain of his father's actual image.

  Ayn's mother, Queen Amya, he had seen many times. She was a strikingly beautiful woman with long black hair that reached to the length of her ankles, though she usually wore it wrapped tightly on top of her crown in a braided bun, disguising its extraordinary abundance. Her olive skin was smooth as silk, and her eyes were round and deep with a hazel richness. Her full lips and robust, yet feminine figure made her the ideal of womanly beauty for many Deiusian men, and Ayn could sense the power she had over them.

  He felt a deep, instinctual love for his mother, though he was not allowed to see her often. The elder priests told him that it was tradition for a holy man to be removed from matters of the flesh; all attachments were denied, even more so for The Bodanya. Their traditions and rules saddened Ayn, but he also wanted to become a great holy man who would make them proud, especially his beloved teacher, Meddhi-Lan. Knowing that he could not fight his destiny, he instead tried to meditate on happier feelings.

  It was Meddhi-Lan who taught him the methods of meditation, as well as many of the ancient ways known to the Holy Dei. When Ayn felt sad or angry, he instead concentrated on the beauty that surrounded him. He often remembered the first time he saw the white ona flowers bloom in the months of The Seed. He also remembered when he was given his pet, Duna, and how he repeatedly licked Ayn’s face every time they greeted. So many things Ayn could remember to counter the sadness when it came into his mind.

  However, on his seventh birthday, he woke with a deeper, darker sadness, as well as confusion, and his usual meditation wasn’t working. He had many questions to ask his teacher, about his planet, his people, and most importantly, about plasma, which he had read was “the blood of the universe.” Ayn wanted to understand everything and wondered if he would ever receive the answers he sought. Meddhi-Lan was never one to avoid a question, if asked in earnest, but Ayn knew there were things his teacher kept away from him ever since he was a very small boy.

  He could feel it – sensing the burden that Meddhi-Lan held upon his shoulders. Ayn wondered if it was because of the psychic abilities born within him. He hoped he had not made Meddhi-Lan keep an anger inside because of jealousy or fear. Ayn also hoped with all his soul that his teacher would forgive him for the many times Ayn woke him in the middle of the night.

  He could not help the scary dreams that caused him to make the sensing candles fly and the room to shake. It was not truly Ayn's fault if his mind was so strong it made the plasma-lights blow out, causing everyone in the temple to think the Gods were angry with them. All Ayn knew was to trust his teacher. He decided to ask Meddhi-Lan his questions, trusting his Lan enough to divulge his fears.

  “That is what The Neya Bodanya would do,” he told himself with a nod of his head.

  --

  Ayn found Meddhi-Lan reading in The Holy Room of Thought, but before he was close enough to speak, Meddhi-Lan smiled and said, “Blessed morning and blessed birthday, my young Bodanya.”

  Pei was there as well, sitting beside Meddhi-Lan with his hands folded in pr
ayer and a widening smile on his lips.

  “Blessed morning, my Lan,” Ayn said, quickly bowing in haste.

  Meddhi-Lan sensed the child’s anxious energy and turned to him with his eyebrow elevated.

  “You have questions?”

  “I do, my Lan,” Ayn replied nervously. “Is it too early in the morning for them?”

  Meddhi-Lan turned to Pei and both men grinned, amused.

  “It is never too early for questions from The Bodanya, is it my Lan?” Pei asked his teacher with a knowing glance.

  Meddhi-Lan laughed with a mixture of pride and love coming though the sound of his deep voice. “Of course not, my Ney.”

  Pei smiled, knowing that his teacher was thinking fondly of him. These were the times that Pei almost felt as if they were a small family unto their own. Being an orphan, Pei was very pleased by the idea. Ayn was like a younger brother and Meddhi-Lan, a father whom he loved dearly.

  Pei then got up and walked over to Ayn, leaning over to match Ayn’s height.

  “But first,” Pei said with a cheerful tone, “we must give you your birthday reward, my Neya Bodanya.”

  Ayn felt the sadness slightly lift from his heart. He could see that Pei was hiding some sort of object behind his back, and he was filled with curiosity.

  “My reward? Am I not getting too old for rewards?”

  “You’re only as old as you wish to be,” replied Pei with a warm grin. “Come now, can you guess what it is?”

  Ayn smiled at his brother-in-spirit and said, “Yes, I think I can.”

  Meddhi-Lan closed his book, then watched his two students with affection.

  “Do your best then, Bodanya Shiva,” teased Pei.

  Ayn closed his eyes and opened his mind to the sounds of The Un. He saw Pei’s surrounding colors inside of his aura. It was a golden hue with purple and orange, denoting a sense of well being and hope. Ayn had noticed many people in the Kingdom with this type of color surrounding their souls, but Pei’s was the brightest he had ever seen.

  Pei could tell that Ayn was sensing his soul, and it made him smile. “Are you meditating clearly, Your Holiness?” Pei asked.

  Ayn broke his concentration and opened his eyes with make-believe anger.

  “Of course I am!” he defended himself while hiding his laughter.

  Meddhi-Lan stood up and put his hand on Ayn’s shoulder.

  “If you can guess what your reward is,” Meddhi-Lan whispered into Ayn’s ear, “then I shall answer any questions that you have, provided I know the answers.”

  Ayn nodded and closed his eyes once more.

  He felt The Un open, and in an instant, it was revealed to his mind. “It’s a toy boat!” Ayn exclaimed. “A boat that flies with the sun-star engraved on the front!”

  Pei laughed and opened his hands to show him his toy. “You are correct once again,” he said with a nod to Meddhi-Lan.

  “I’m always right,” Ayn replied with nonchalant confidence.

  “Especially when you want something,” Pei teased as he mussed the top of Ayn’s long black hair.

  “And he did want a flying boat. You were right,” the high priest said to Pei.

  “That is because he has told me of his dreams to fly,” Pei replied.

  Meddhi-Lan smiled and knelt to the young Neya Bodanya.

  “And someday you will, Ayn,” he whispered. “Someday you will.”

  Chapter 3: Visions of the Bodanya

  The truth of Ayn’s birth was never completely known by the people of Deius. Even the members of the royal family were unaware of the secret the priests dare not tell. Meddhi-Lan himself did not trust the superstitious tendencies of the people, for fear they would assume The Bodanya's physical form was a dark sign from the Gods. For that reason, he kept Ayn's duality hidden, even from the scrolls of The Holy Room.

  All that was written on the day of Ayn’s birth was that he was the true coming of The Great Adin and that he was born with the knowledge of The Un.

  Meddhi-Lan knew that Ayn’s defect was the one thing the priests feared might bring them shame and possible doom. There was simply no way for them to understand why or how Ayn had been born with both male and female form. Only Meddhi-Lan seemed to understand, and it was he who officially declared that Ayn was of the more masculine sex, having mostly male features.

  Not since the days of ancient times had Deiusians suffered from defects such as Ayn’s. It had been thousands upon thousands of years since the last known specimen of the rare “intersexed” condition, and the priests did not understand why it had happened, especially to their own Bodanya.

  They attempted, at first, to meditate upon the meaning behind the defect. Each of them believed there was a deeper reason behind the veil of his dual gender, but none could guess the minds of the Gods, so they left the impossible task to Meddhi-Lan. It was also the high priest's duty to not only raise the child, but guide him along his path to enlightenment.

  For Meddhi-Lan, Ayn's destiny seemed clear since the day of his birth. He believed Ayn to be at one with The Un, and his unique body merely reflected the truth of the essence of the universe.

  Through the years, Ayn grew well and was loved by most, especially by the high priest. In fact, Meddhi-Lan had uncontrollably allowed himself to act as the boy's father.

  However, even as loved as he was, Ayn couldn't help but feel he was the only one of his kind. It seemed to Ayn that evolution and science had defeated his condition years ago, yet there he was, like an old relic from the past. It made him wonder why the Gods would be so cruel, and he often felt sad and alone.

  Meddhi-Lan was painfully aware of Ayn's sadness, though he did not know what he could say to cheer his young student.

  Nonetheless, Ayn depended on his teacher for guidance, and on his seventh birthday, he came to Meddhi-Lan’s private room, asking to speak with him.

  After Ayn explained his feelings, he asked his teacher why the Gods had cursed him so.

  Meddhi-Lan tenderly replied, “My boy, I understand your confusion, but you are not cursed, you are blessed. And I am afraid you are asking me questions that only you may answer in time.”

  “But… you are the Lan, not I!” said Ayn, close to tears.

  “Yes, I am your Lan, but it is you who are The Neya Bodanya and-“

  “No, I am not!” said Ayn, defiantly. “I am not The Bodanya, and I am NOT The Great Adin!” He then covered his face and wept.

  His teacher felt his pain, but did not reach for him. “There is no use in denying your true self,” Meddhi-Lan said, gentle, yet stern.

  Ayn continued to weep into his hands, then fell on the lap of his teacher.

  Meddhi-Lan broke his cold reserve and softly pet the back of Ayn’s head.

  Ayn then looked up at his teacher with tear-streaked cheeks and asked, “Am I truly The Neya Bodanya? The true rebirth of Adin?”

  “What does your soul tell you?” asked Meddhi-Lan.

  Ayn thought for a moment, trying to hear his inner sound, but all he could hear was his pain. “I do not know, my Lan,” he replied, “but how can I be The Great Adin when I am so…”

  The high priest gently raised Ayn's chin and said, “You're so what?”

  “Incomplete!” blurted Ayn.

  “My Shiva... Ayn, you will listen to me now,” said Meddhi-Lan as he wrapped his strong arms around his beloved student. “You are not incomplete. You are the most illuminated soul I have ever known. Of this, I am certain.”

  “I am?” asked Ayn, blinking his teary, blue eyes.

  “Yes, Ayn, you are. You have the rarest of all souls. It is both wise and innocent all at once, and I am honored to have been chosen to guide you,” Meddhi-Lan said as he wiped the tears from his beloved boy's face.

  “But it is not my soul that I speak of, my Lan. It is my body that is incomplete… and so very different.”

  “Yes, it is different,” replied his teacher, “but it is not necessarily incomplete, my child.”

  “But why
would the Gods want me to be like this?” asked Ayn as he looked upwards to his heart’s father.

  “They have their reasons,” Meddhi-Lan assured him, “and one day, when you are ready to hear them, they will tell you.”

  Ayn did not believe his teacher’s words, though he hoped they were true. Breaking away from Meddhi-Lan’s arms, he stood up and paced.

  “Why can it not just be corrected?” asked Ayn. “I know there are scientists that understand the body. Perhaps they could perform a surgery to eliminate the unwanted parts. Did they not once do such things in the past? Can you not find someone for me? Please, my Lan! Please!”

  Meddhi-Lan feared Ayn may become hysterical. He gently touched Ayn’s hand, guiding him to sit down.

  “It is not fair!” cried Ayn. “Why won’t you help me be whole?”

  “Because it is not for us to make such decisions, Ayn.”

  “Whose decision is it then?” Ayn asked with a sniff.

  “Only the Gods may decide, though it is your choice as well... when you have come of age and your mind is ready.”

  “But!” blurted Ayn.

  “Remember, my Ney,” said Meddhi-Lan with a calm voice, “our laws tell us that no child on Deius may be harmed or even altered. They are born pure and exactly how the Gods have intended them to be. This law applies to The Bodanya even more.”

  Ayn looked away, holding back his impatience and rebellious anger.

  “Of course, you are also The Second Adin,” added Meddhi-Lan, “and it is well within your rights to claim your form any way that you see fit.”

  “Then I-”

  Before Ayn could finish, Meddhi-Lan said, “But you must come to that decision when you have come of age, and no sooner.”

  Ayn pouted and sighed. “That will take forever!” he replied.