Connectivity

Home > Other > Connectivity > Page 12
Connectivity Page 12

by Whitney Cannon


  Once the door closed after the trio, Cory reached out and grabbed Josh’s hand and pulled him along toward the dining table. Josh didn’t miss the way Nick looked at their joined hands or the small frown that formed on his face.

  Josh sat next to Cory, across from Nick, and Cory made a show of scooting his chair closer to Josh’s.

  “What do you want, Nick? You didn’t seem all that interested in talking to me yesterday, once you met Josh.” Cory didn’t seem to be holding back and came right out with it.

  Nick flinched at Cory’s harsh tone, and Josh was only a little sorry. Nick was supposed to be Cory’s best friend, but he had treated Cory pretty badly yesterday, along with himself.

  “I just wanted to see you,” Nick all but groaned, pleading with Cory. “I’ve missed you and I’ve been worried. Everyone keeps asking me when you’re coming back to school. And now all the guys are giving me shit for the way I acted yesterday. I’m sorry for that, by the way. You just caught me off guard and I don’t know,” Nick shrugged and looked down at the table helplessly. “I don’t know why I acted that way.”

  “Do you have a problem with Josh?” Cory continued, rigid and unfazed. “Or with me being with Josh? Because you’ve known I was gay for a long time, and I didn’t figure you’d be one to have a problem with it.”

  Josh wasn’t sure where Cory was going with his questioning. They both figured Nick was just upset because he had feelings for Cory even he wasn’t aware of. That possibly Nick hadn’t either realized his attraction to guys or Cory specifically or that he was so far in the closet he would never admit to it. Josh wondered if Cory was just pushing Nick’s buttons to see what he could get Nick to admit to.

  Nick jerked his head up at Cory’s statement. “What? I don’t have a problem with you being gay, Cory. You’ve known I was fine with it since you came out to me forever ago.”

  “Then maybe your problem is Josh,” Cory rebutted, not giving Nick an inch. He shot Josh a look and squeezed his hand in reassurance before continuing on. “I’d like to think you’re cool with the gay thing, but you’ve never seen me with anyone before since I’ve never had a boyfriend. Maybe it changes things for you from this imaginary thing to something real, and now you can’t handle it, seeing me in a relationship,” Cory persisted.

  Josh couldn’t be sure, but the look on Nick’s face seemed suspiciously like a cocktail of guilt and jealousy if the looks he kept throwing at Josh were any indications. Nevermind the fact that he wouldn’t look either of them in the eye anymore.

  “I’ve known you too long, Nick,” Cory continued when Nick didn’t respond. “You don’t think I see the looks you keep throwing at Josh, or the way you frown when you see us holding hands? I can read you probably better than anyone. Which is why I’m so disappointed that you can’t seem to accept this. Josh is a great guy and you’d see that too if you took a minute to stop glaring at him and get to know him. You know what? Now I’m actually kinda pissed. You’re supposed to be my best friend and you’re making this really uncomfortable. Maybe it’s best if you just leave since apparently you don't have anything to say in your defense,” Cory stated.

  “I’m sorry, Cory. I just wanted to see you. I’m kind of a mess right now,” Nick slumped a little. “This was not my intention in coming over today. I didn’t come by to fight with you. We never fight. I just wanted to see you and find out when you’re coming back to school. I miss you, everyone misses you,” Nick finished looking pleadingly at Cory.

  Cory considered him for a moment. “I’m probably not coming back to school.”

  “What? What do you mean you’re not coming back? What are you talking about?” Nick blurted out. “Of course you’re coming back. We graduate in like five weeks, Cory. How can you even say you’re not coming back? We have the rest of the baseball season and finals and all our graduation parties. What’s going on? This isn’t like you to just leave school. There’s no way your parents will allow you not to finish,” Nick ranted, then paused, his eyes going wide. “Oh my God, was there something serious that happened with the accident that you didn’t tell me about? Are you okay? What is it? What’s wrong?” Nick reached out his hand to Cory and looked about ready to come across the table.

  Josh had gone from wary, to kinda pissed, to amused in the space of a ten-minute conversation. Poor Nick was hanging on by a thread.

  “Dude, you should see your face right now,” Cory said, trying to suppress his own laughter. A snicker broke free and one side of Cory’s mouth hitched up slightly. “Nothing is wrong, you douche. I’m fine. I’m still going to graduate, just probably online, or finishing the semester at home. I just mean that I probably won’t be finishing on campus.”

  Nick looked puzzled. “Why? Why aren’t you coming back? I don’t understand. Does this have something to do with the accident? Or him?”

  Cory sighed. “No, nothing like that. Well, not really.” Cory looked at Josh, then back to Nick. “It’s complicated, okay? I just can’t, so it doesn’t really matter. I’m not sure what that means for the rest of the season, and I know it sucks to leave you guys like that, but it can’t be helped. We’re going to talk with Mr. Turner to see what can be worked out. But it’s best for me if I don’t go back, and that’s the most important thing right now.”

  “Of course I want what’s best for you, Cory. I just don’t understand.” Nick ran a hand through his hair in agitation while clenching the other in a fist on the table. He turned his gaze toward Josh. “It seems like you have this accident then all of a sudden show up with Josh, out of nowhere, claiming how great he is and everything. Then you tell me you’re not coming back to school and it’s complicated? I’m just supposed to go along with this? What about us, huh? You’re so in love with Josh you’re just going to forget about everything we have? We’ve been friends for years, Cory, what about me? I can’t believe this.” Nick slammed his fist against the table causing both of them to jump. “How can your parents accept this? And why isn’t he in school? Is he so great that he doesn’t have to go to school anymore either?” Nick demanded, gesturing toward Josh. Nick’s emotions were getting the better of him and his voice had gotten louder. He was clearly frustrated and upset, plus quite obviously, jealous and resentful.

  Cory had slowly moved farther into Josh’s side, holding his hand in a death grip, as Nick’s tirade ramped up.

  The front door opened and Jenny bounded into the room startling everyone.

  “What’s going on in here guys?” Jim asked, looking first at the state of Josh and Cory then landing on Nick. “Maybe it’s best if you head back to campus and cool off, Nick. From where I was standing, I didn’t really appreciate the things I heard you saying. I’ve known you a long time, but that doesn’t mean you’re welcome to come into my house and speak that way to my son, or his boyfriend. I think it’s best to continue this conversation another time.” Jim gave Nick a pointed stare.

  Nick pushed back his chair and glared at Josh. “I can’t believe this. Now I’m the one being kicked out of my best friend's house? What about him, huh? You’ve known him for like a week and you’re kicking me out?”

  “This isn’t about who we’ve known longer, Nick. Right now you’re angry, and I’ll not have my family feeling threatened by your behavior.” Jim gestured to Josh and Cory. “You need to leave and calm down. Go back to school. You’re probably already late as it is.”

  “Your family?” Nick scoffed and got up from his seat. “Since when he family? I used to be part of your family. I can see now that I’ve been replaced,” Nick said with disdain and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you around, Cory. Well, on second thought, I guess I won’t since we don’t go to school together anymore.” And with that, he was gone.

  No one spoke for a moment as they all processed what just happened. When the door opened again Josh and Cory flinched. Diane entered with a worried look on her face.

  “What just happened?” Diane asked, realizing the look on everyone’s faces. “
Why was Nick yelling at you guys?”

  “I can’t talk about it right now, Mom,” Cory managed in a distressed tone. He grabbed Josh’s hand and all but dragged him to his feet. “I need a minute, okay? We’ll be back out later.” Cory fled the room, with Josh in tow.

  -IX-

  Josh closed the door behind him as Cory threw himself down on his bed and curled up facing the wall. Josh went over and sat on the edge of the bed silently offering whatever comfort he could in this messed up situation. He didn’t know Nick, but the guy’s behavior didn’t seem like that of someone Cory would choose as a best friend.

  Reaching over, Josh carefully removed first one then the other of Cory’s shoes. He removed both of his own and fit himself into the space behind Cory. Neither of them said anything, but Josh adjusted the pillow and rearranged Cory so his head was resting on Josh’s bicep and Josh draped his left arm over Cory’s waist. He fit himself snuggly against Cory’s back and just held his Complement.

  Some minutes later, Cory shifted around and turned to face Josh. His arms were snuggled up against Josh’s chest and Josh rubbed Cory’s back.

  “I don’t even know what to say about what happened,” Cory said softly, speaking to Josh’s throat. “Nick and I have been friends for years and I’ve never seen him like that. I mean, I know how big he is, but I’ve always just thought of him as a big, friendly guy. I’ve never seen him as a big, angry guy. I just wanted some answers about the way he acted the other day and then all of a sudden he’s yelling at me and I was kind of nervous. I’ve never…” Cory trailed off. “What just happened Josh?” Cory said and looked Josh in the eye. Cory looked so vulnerable and unsure, making him look younger than his eighteen years.

  “I don’t know what happened, sweetie,” Josh murmured and moved his hand up to brush through the hair by Cory’s ear. Cory sighed and rested his head against Josh’s collarbone.

  “If I had to guess,” Josh continued, “I’d say he’s jealous, resentful, and confused. You’ve never chosen anyone over him before, and he doesn’t know what to do to change things. He wants you all to himself, and he wants the easy way things were last week. It may seem to him like even if he hadn’t ever come out, or thought of himself that way, you were his. You two had always been close, and he felt free to express his feelings toward you. I imagine he was truly worried and scared for you after your accident and then not being able to see you, to hug you the way he’s used to, to receive the comfort and reassurance he’s used to getting from you, made him even more frantic. He’s probably been sick with worry and can’t even explain that to himself. Then I come along and take the place he’s used to having. He’s lost. He’s got all these feelings he can’t explain and doesn’t know what to do with. So he’s lashing out. Even though you’re the one he wants, you’re also a convenient target, along with myself.

  “Add in that now you’re not going back to school and Nick’s entire world is upside down. His constant comfortable place with you and school and baseball is changing and he’s grasping for something to hold onto,” Josh said softly. “You said he’s going away to college in the fall. I imagine he had this whole scenario played out in his head about the two of you hanging out this summer, spending all your time together. Maybe he was even planning to explore another side of himself. Has he ever had a girlfriend?”

  “A couple,” Cory murmured into Josh’s shirt. “But as far as I know he’s never gone further than second or third base with them. He’s never really liked to talk about it. Not that I want any details.” Cory shuddered.

  Josh gave a soft laugh and continued to soothe Cory by running his hand up and down Cory’s back and arm. “Maybe he didn’t want the pressure of questioning himself, or his feelings while being under the proverbial high school microscope. You know how fast rumors start and spread. I’m sure by now the whole school knows about me and that you’re not coming back. When Nick left, he was mad enough to probably spread some unpleasant things about both of us.”

  “I’m sorry, Josh. This whole situation is so messed up. You didn’t ask for any of this,” Cory said, and wrapped his arm around Josh’s back and pulled him in tighter.

  “You didn’t either, sweetie. You didn’t either,” Josh murmured into Cory’s hair and kissed his temple softly.

  The two of them stayed that way until a knock on the door drew their attention.

  “Boys,” Diane’s soft voice filtered through the closed door. “I’m sorry to intrude, but your dad thinks it might be best to get Josh’s bed inside since it looks like it might rain soon.”

  “Okay, Mom. Thanks. We’ll be right out,” Cory called back.

  “Feeling better?” Josh asked quietly when Cory looked back at him.

  “Yeah.” Cory sighed and pressed a kiss to Josh’s lips. “Thank you.”

  “I’m not really sure if anything I said helped, or if any of it is true, but you’re welcome. Anytime you need to talk about something or just need to snuggle.” Josh smiled playfully and winked at Cory. “You just let me know, okay?” Josh said, and stole another quick kiss from Cory, earning a laugh that felt a little lighter.

  “Alright, let’s go get my bed set up before it becomes a waterbed,” Josh joked and stood to help Cory off the bed as well.

  ~

  Once Josh and Cory had the new bed set up and new linens put on, they unpacked some of Josh’s clothes into the closet. There would be enough room for a small dresser for Josh at the end of his bed. They planned to go out to the second-hand store later to see what they could find.

  “What do you say we have a late lunch, and then we can play around with this Connection thing,” Josh said while lying on his bed. They were each facing the other after they had done all the unpacking they could without the dresser. “See how far we can get before we start to feel anything then move on from there. I think it’ll be good to know exactly how far apart we can get before we really feel it. If we ever get separated or something, we need to know what distance to maintain or avoid. Besides, it will probably be a good indicator of what size apartment or studio we can get. Whatever it is, it needs to be small enough that we can be anywhere inside and not be bothered by distance. I think it’s important that we be as comfortable as possible in our own place.”

  Cory opened his mouth to respond then closed it again. Then opened it and nothing came out.

  Josh chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?”

  Cory shook his head and sat up. “I guess what you said just caught me by surprise. I’ve been so focused on the here and now. Today, tomorrow, the rest of the week, everything with Nick, and all the info from your family. I hadn’t even thought about what things would look like after graduation.”

  “Well we can stay here for a while, but don’t you think we’re going to want our own place?” Josh asked.

  A distant look crossed Cory’s face as his thoughts turned inward, and a small blush touched his cheeks.

  “Okay, now I have to know what you just thought about. I can see you blushing from here,” Josh quipped teasingly.

  Cory’s blush grew deeper at being put on the spot. He seemed shy all of a sudden and looked down at his lap. “When you said all that about getting our own place and living together, I just wondered,” Cory glanced up, taking a quick peek at Josh. “If we would be sharing a bed, too?”

  Josh grew quiet in light of Cory’s concern. He moved over to Cory’s bed and sat next to him. “We can do things however we decide, Cory. There’s no pressure or rulebook to follow. We’ve been thrown into this situation at a young age, and I guess things would be different if we were older, more experienced. I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you that I’ve never been with anyone. I’ve kissed a few guys and had a couple quick handjobs, but never had a boyfriend and definitely no sex. How about you?” Josh asked softly.

  Cory shook his head. “You already know I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m not even sure if there is another gay guy at my school, well, aside from possibly Nick. I’v
e noticed a few guys looking when we play other teams or travel for tournaments, but we’re never alone with the other teams to get anywhere. I’ve never done anything with anyone except you,” Cory said and looked away.

  “Hey,” Josh murmured and pulled Cory’s face back toward him with a couple fingers under his chin. “You don’t need to be embarrassed, or shy, or upset, or worried about what I’m going to think of you, okay? I already like you, Cory, and that’s not going to change just because you told me you’ve never had sex or quickie blowjobs in the locker room. I’m not going to judge you based on how much or how little experience you have. I don’t have much experience either. So we do this on our terms. I mean, I’m not going to sit here and lie and say that everything will be fine if we never get to that point.” Josh winked, trying to lighten the mood. The corner of Cory’s mouth hitched up and he bumped his shoulder into Josh’s.

  “But if you want to stay here for a while until we know each other better, or if you want to get our own place, but still want to keep the two beds, I’m fine with whatever. We can take as much time as we need to for things to progress naturally aside from the fact that we were basically chosen for each other by fate or something. Whatever feels right for us, okay?” Josh asked.

  “Yeah, okay.” Cory blew out a breath. “You really are good at this, you know. I keep freaking out and having these weird moments and you’re just so calm and put together. You’re very good at handling me. Thank you, Josh. But after all this sexy talk can you at least kiss me? I’m kinda dying here.” Cory huffed a laugh.

  Josh wasted no time in answering. He reached across with his right arm and drew Cory closer with a hand on the back of his neck. Their lips pressed together, and Cory’s hands came up to rest on Josh’s chest. This was the first time they were doing anything more than just a peck, or press of lips, and Josh tentatively slid the tip of his tongue across Cory’s lower lip. Cory gasped and pulled back a little. Josh searched his face for clues that he’d gone too far, but was startled when Cory used both hands on either side of his face to haul him back in. Then Cory’s tongue was seeking an answer from Josh.

 

‹ Prev