everafter

by Nell Stark; Trinity Tam

  I smiled at Val. This was exactly what I had hoped. “I want to know if you think it would be possible to be deliberately infected with the lycanthropy virus. If it’s planned, can we insure that the transformation will take?”

  Karma leaned back and gazed at us speculatively. “It has been done before—family members or spouses becoming infected in order to stay close to their loved ones. With the proper facilities, the virus can be introduced through blood transfusions or tissue grafts.”

  “What’s the success rate?”

  “There are a few documented cases of humans being immune to the virus. I would say that is less than two percent of the population. But in a controlled medical environment, the virus can be continuously applied until it takes.”

  Val shifted uneasily next to me. “What’s the mortality rate?”

  Karma hesitated. “It’s much better now. We’ve managed to control the viral introduction better than we used to. It’s certainly safer than how it’s done in the wild.”

  “What is it?” Val’s voice was barely a whisper.

  “Six to seven percent.” Karma admitted reluctantly. “Alexa is young and healthy; that should lower it to about five percent.”

  “One in twenty.” Val looked like she was going to be sick. I took Valentine’s face in my hands and gently kissed each cheek and then her lips. I lifted her chin so that she had to look into my eyes.

  “Val, you can’t focus on that. I refuse to live my life in fear of what could be. I also refuse to live with regrets of what might have been.”

  Although I was sure Karma had figured it out, it was important for me to come clean to her. She was being very helpful and generous with her time and information. “I want to be infected.” I looked at Val before turning back to Karma. “My blood is the only thing preventing

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  the vampire parasite from consuming Val’s soul, and right now, I just don’t have enough of it to sustain her.”

  I kissed Val one more time on the lips for emphasis and turned my attention back to Karma. Karma had politely turned away from the intimacy and was staring at the temple. She was quiet for so long, I thought perhaps we had miscalculated in trusting her or we had managed to offend her.

  When she spoke again, she was still staring into the distance.

  “Petronius built this temple in fifteen bc and dedicated it to Isis and Osiris. Are you familiar with their story?” Val and I shook our heads.

  “Isis was the Egyptian goddess of motherhood, life, and fertility. Initially, she was quite obscure and had no temples or followers of her own. Eventually, she was adopted by the Greeks and Romans into their pantheons and worship of Isis would spread across the world.

  “In the most popular story about Isis, she was instrumental in resurrecting her husband Osiris after he was slain and dismembered by Set. She traveled the world gathering up the pieces of his body and revived him with her magic.” She looked at Val. “Morbidly romantic, don’t you think?”

  Val nodded solemnly, but indignation bubbled up inside me like angry lava. There was nothing morbid about this at all. It was a clever and elegant solution to so many of our problems, and I didn’t want Valentine to back out of our decision based on the ignorant opinion of a stranger. I opened my mouth to protest when Karma cut me off.

  “I’ll help you.” She smiled at me. “I’ll probably be ostracized when the Were community finds out, but you seem like good people. I’ll do what I can to assist you.”

  “I don’t see how the Were community has anything to do with this,” I interjected. “This is a personal matter.”

  Karma shook her head. “What you are proposing would look like slavery to a shifter.” She raised her hand to curtail my indignation. “Try to see it from our perspective; you are deliberately infecting yourself so you can sustain your vampire lover. You are purposefully subjugating yourself to her well-being. There is enough tension between our two species without introducing the idea of breeding us like cattle.”

  “Ah, politics,” Val murmured. She and Karma stared at one another for a long, silent moment. They looked like they were evaluating each other, but I couldn’t be sure. Being able to feed Val and share eternity

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  with her weren’t the only reasons that I wanted to become a Were—it would be a relief to finally be a member of this club, instead of an outsider.

  “I’m not subjugating myself,” I said. “This was my idea from the beginning and servitude has nothing to do with it.”

  “I know.” Karma’s tone softened. “That’s why I am willing to help. But if the nature and circumstances of your rebirth become public knowledge, there is no saying how the masses will react to it. There are many in our community who would seek to use that information to rally the Weres and consolidate power.”

  “We’ll be discreet.”

  “This is not going to be easy. First of all, you are going to have to go outside of the Were system. Secondly, it may not work. As you know, any kind of trauma causes a Were to shift.” Karma turned to Valentine. “The simple act of feeding would most likely trigger the transformation. It could be very dangerous for you.”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about,” Val said, stubbornness coloring her voice.

  Karma smiled at us both sympathetically. “When it is done, I can teach you how to be a Were. But until then, it’s best that we have very limited contact.”

  I nodded. “I understand.”

  The first of the morning museum visitors finally began drifting into the room. Karma glanced at her watch and then slowly rose to her feet. She shook my hand and then Valentine’s one last time. “Good luck to you both.”

  v

  Helen’s secretary was testy when we showed up unannounced. She tried to give us the runaround by telling us that Helen was out of the office, but even my ordinary human hearing could pick up her voice through the closed door. Time, I felt, was of the essence, so Val and I settled into the plush leather sofa outside Helen’s office to wait it out. She had to come out eventually and we would be there to corner her. About twenty minutes later, the door finally opened and Helen stepped out wearing a brown crepe silk skirt suit and holding a stack of files. If she was surprised to see us there, she didn’t show it. She

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  just placed the folders on her secretary’s desk and instructed her to file them. Then with a quirk of her lips, she asked us to step into her office. I took Val’s hand in mine and we followed her in.

  “Would you like something to drink?” She gestured for us to sit in the armchairs facing her desk.

  Val and I both declined the offer. The windows of her office were shaded with a special filter that significantly blocked the sunlight entering the room. Looking through the windows at the city beyond felt like looking through a pair of dark sunglasses. To compensate for the darkness, small inset iridescent bulbs studded the ceiling and bathed the large office in light. Helen leaned back against the black leather of her office chair and regarded us curiously.

  “I have an idea for how I can sustain Valentine better, but I’ll need your help.” I hated starting the conversation with a request, especially of Helen, but under the circumstances, I thought she might appreciate the candor. Below Helen’s field of vision, Val rested her hand lightly on my thigh. The warmth was reassuring. “I’ve done some research and I think I can feed Val indefinitely if I become a Were.”

  If Helen was surprised, she didn’t show it. She leaned forward over her desk and locked gazes with me. I could almost feel her peering into my soul, sorting through all my emotions and motivations, judging and calculating the merit of my suggestion. I swallowed uncomfortably at the sudden dryness in my throat but returned her gaze openly and boldly. Val was mine and I was going to do everything under my power to keep her soul intact. To prevent her from becoming like the vampire staring
at me from across the desk.

  After what felt like an eternity, Helen leaned back into her chair.

  “It won’t work.” There was a hint of regret in her voice. “Vampires have tried feeding off of Weres for generations and all we have to show for it is righteous indignation from the Weres and a bevy of dead vampires.”

  “I would never hurt Valentine.”

  “You may not want to, but your animal half will have very different opinions.” The initial spark of interest was fading and I could tell that Helen was preparing to dismiss us. “Besides, the Were community would never stand for it. This could spark a civil war. I appreciate—”

  “You don’t understand.” I slammed my hand down on her desk for emphasis. Helen flinched in surprise. “I love her. I will not let her

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  lose her soul. Not if I can save her. It will work because we will make it work. It will work because it has to.”

  Helen lifted her chin slightly and stared at me unblinking. “Noble proclamations with absolutely no basis in reality.”

  I leaned forward, closing the distance between us. There was an icy sharpness to her aura that palpably hurt me as I got closer, but I needed to make my point clear. I was in her personal space now and I could tell it made her uncomfortable. She held her ground and I looked her straight in the eyes. “Tell me, in all the history of vampires feeding on Weres, how many of those stories involved a love like ours?”

  “Baby—” Val took my hand and chafed it between hers. I could still feel the sting from slapping Helen’s desk. I sat back down and brought her hands to my lips and kissed them softly. Tears burned behind my eyes but pride held them at bay. I would not show weakness in front of Helen.

  Her gaze flicked from our joined hands to Val, finally settling on me. “I need you both to leave my office now.”

  “Wait a minute, I—”

  Helen raised a perfectly manicured hand and cut me off. “I need to make a private call. You can wait outside until I’m done.”

  I wanted to protest some more and make my case stronger but Val tugged me gently to my feet. “Come on, babe. We’ll be right outside.”

  Reluctantly, I followed her to the waiting room and settled back into the couch. Val sat closer this time and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her, decorum be damned. I needed this connection and I didn’t care who saw it.

  While we waited, my mind wandered. It was possible to do this even without Helen’s assistance. Karma was reluctant on this matter, but she had still offered to help. If pushed, she could probably do something. In for a penny, in for a pound. And Sebastian Brenner seemed unscrupulous enough. I was sure there was something we could offer him—well, something short of Val herself—that would persuade him to either turn me himself or find someone who could. Barring that, there was always the Red Circuit. Despite Valentine’s recent preoccupation with my well being, I knew that vengeance was still on her mind. If the Circuit could house sociopaths like Val’s attacker, surely there would be a handful of Weres willing to turn a girl for sport. I shivered at the

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  implications, flashing back to the memory of the black wolf’s muzzle, glistening with the blood of his opponent. That would have to be a last resort. There were other options and we could explore each one until we found the one that worked.

  The phone on the secretary’s desk buzzed once. “Ms. Lambros is ready to see you again.” She escorted us back inside where we found Helen standing by the window, gazing out at the city skyline. Even though the brightness outside was muted by the tinted shade, I could see Helen wincing in discomfort. I wondered if it was the feeble rays coming through, or the memory of sunlight on her skin that made her ache so.

  “What you are asking for is expensive.”

  This was not the response I expected but it seemed like a minor inconvenience. I glanced at Val, who wore a furrow of confusion in her brow. “Money is not an object. I’ll make it happen.”

  “Oh, it’s not money that this will cost.” Helen turned to us, her face pinched in shrewd calculation. As she stepped away from the window, her hand rubbed absently at the arm that had been closest to the light.

  “I will be calling in a huge favor. A mark that I have held for over a hundred years. Do you have any idea how much that is worth?”

  My spine began to tingle. The way that Helen spoke of favors reminded me of Faust. We were bargaining for Valentine’s soul and I was offering mine in return. I didn’t hesitate. “Name your price. It’s yours.”

  Helen laughed coldly. “We’ll see if you ever amount to anything I want. In the meanwhile, Valentine is important to me. All vampires are important to me. If you promise to do everything in your power to keep her satisfied, I’ll do this. For her.”

  Fury rose in me. “Yes,” I said, leaning forward again, using the force of my anger as a shield. “For her. I don’t want any part of your politics.”

  Helen held her ground, baring her teeth in an expression that bore only superficial resemblance to a smile. Val took my hand and squeezed in sympathy and caution. “Baby, are you sure?” she murmured. “We can find another way.”

  I unclenched my jaw and exhaled my anger, never taking my gaze from Helen. “When do we start?”

  “Right away. The next full moon is in twenty-six days. The

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  Were sample will arrive in two days and we can introduce the virus immediately. That will give us ample time to prepare you before your first lunar transformation.”

  “Were sample?” Val’s tone was suspicious.

  “The donor would prefer to remain anonymous at this time, so we will use his blood to treat Alexa. But rest assured, I have known him for a very long time and he will be a remarkable sire. Weres are very serious about lineage and you, Alexa, will be descended from the finest.”

  “Her animal half, what will that be?”

  Helen turned to Val and regarded her intensely.”Does that matter to you, dear Valentine?”

  Val swallowed audibly and looked away. “No,” she murmured,

  “just curious.”

  “Panther. Alexa will become a Werepanther. An exceedingly rare and noble incarnation. She will be the only one in the northeast, as a matter of fact.” Helen didn’t look at me as she said this. I could feel her condescension like a beast as it clawed down my throat and seized my stomach. She wanted me to be grateful, and I was, but not for her reasons, and certainly not in any way that I would be willing to prostrate myself in front of this vile woman. “Come by the West Side facility tomorrow night. Darren will be there to give you your first lessons as a Were.”

  “Thank you.” My voice was measured and cold.

  “My pleasure.” Her gaze never left Valentine.

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  Chapter SixteeN

  On the cab ride back from Helen’s office, I called Karma and told her what had transpired. She immediately offered to come over and start with my education. I was grateful that she was so willing to help; it was a pleasant contrast to Helen’s pound-of-flesh approach. By the time Karma arrived at our apartment, I had mostly shaken off my simmering anger. I’d have a preturnaturally long life ahead of me to prove to Helen that I ought not to be underestimated. And it shouldn’t matter what she thought, anyway. Except, of course, that it did—as Val’s mentor, and as one of the most powerful people in the City. Maybe after I’d been infected, I’d feel more capable of mustering up some indifference to her and her machinations. As Karma took a seat in our living room, I realized that this was the first time we had ever had a guest at our dining table. Val and I had just picked out the secondhand table days before she was attacked. And since then we had no time for entertaining. We had originally chosen the large, unfinished wooden table with lavish dinner parties in mind. I pushed away the wave
of sadness that momentarily threatened to overwhelm me.

  Karma was dressed casually in dark jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. She carried a large brief bag that now lay open on the table displaying multicolored files and folders, all labeled meticulously in tidy block letters.

  Val entered with a pitcher of water and three tall glasses on a plate. After setting them down carefully away from the papers, she took the chair next to mine and scooted closer so that her thigh could press

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  against me. “So, this is what Shifter 101 looks like?” She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

  “It’s all the notes I compiled while researching for the Web site. There are even things in here that I didn’t put online.” Karma pulled out a light blue folder thick with papers and handed it to me. “Here is some research that has been conducted secretly over the past few decades. There is information about healing, feeding, mating, and other behaviors in human and animal forms.”

  I flipped through the file and marveled at the breadth and depth of information. “I really appreciate this. You didn’t have to come all the way here just to drop off files. I would have been more than happy to pick them up from the museum.”

  “I know. I came here to talk about how you feel.” Karma held my gaze steadily.

  Apprehension prickled across my skin. “I feel fine.”

  “Now maybe, but you need to know that becoming a Wereshifter is more than a physical change. It is an emotional, psychological, and spiritual transformation. Inviting an animal into your consciousness is unlike any experience you have ever imagined.”

  “Is it dangerous?” Val asked. I could hear the careful modulation of her voice—she was anxious, but putting on a brave front. I reached for her hand and our fingers interwove automatically.

  “It can be. That’s why I’m here. If you know what’s coming, it may help you adjust a little better.” Karma’s eyes crinkled in remembered pain. “I wish someone had been around to explain things before my first full moon.”

  “What is it like?” I leaned forward, thirsty for more details.