by E. M. Moore
Hayes shuts the door behind him, then glares at me. He assesses the situation, taking in the lacrosse guys surrounding us. He eyes them coolly, spending a particularly long time on Chase. I know he punched Chase, too. I don’t know why. I actually think they might get along if it weren’t…well, if it weren’t for me, apparently.
“They rode with Coach?” I ask to no one in particular.
“They didn’t really have a choice,” Alec bites out.
I turn to look at him. “No, I guess they didn’t.” Then, I spin toward my cabin with the lacrosse team—and Alec’s sister—in tow.
5
I spend the rest of the afternoon getting my cabin ready. The lacrosse guys didn’t stay long, which I was grateful for. I don’t need another spectacle between Chase and the Ballers. One was plenty. Roberta, too, left when her mother came to retrieve her without Alec. Once I was left to myself, I rearranged the small cabin, put my sheets on the bed, and texted my mom to tell her I was safe. I’d hoped to finish with enough time to take my first swim in the lake this year, but instead, I worked right up until dinner.
With my hands on my hips, I survey the small, one-room cabin to see if anything else needs to be done. A knock sounds on the door behind me, so I turn to get it, expecting my dad. It’s not him coming to remind me about dinner, though, it’s Hayes. He’s so tall he takes up the entire frame of the door and then some. He crouches a little to take a step inside, so I move back to let him in. “Um, hey,” I say, a niggle of apprehension burrowing into my side.
He stops in the middle of the room, gaze bouncing off the small touches I put here and there. I have no idea what the boys’ cabins even look like on the inside. I’ve only ever seen inside my own temporary living space. Without so much as a greeting, Hayes turns to stare at me. “Did you know Chase Fisher was going to be here?”
My eyebrows pull together. “No… Why would I?”
He runs a hand through his thick hair. Now that it’s summer and he’s been spending so much time outside my house in the full rays of the sun, there’s a handsome copper glint to his hair that I can’t help but notice.
He doesn’t answer my question. I’m not going to let him get away with that. “Listen, Hayes, if you’re going to stand outside my house and now finally talk to me, you’re going to have to start giving me some answers.”
His gaze locks on mine. “We don’t need a repeat of what happened at Rockport, do we?” His fists clench at his sides.
I know exactly what he means. It’s clear. I also know Hayes has a reputation. Sure, he’s the quiet type, but that doesn’t mean he’s meek. He’s the exact opposite. He might not start fights, but he’ll end them. He might not start arguments, but he’ll end them, too. I sigh. “I wouldn’t think that was a problem anymore, considering the Ballers obviously unclaimed me.” I think back on the last few months of school. They barely even looked at me let alone talked to me.
“In words, maybe. You know I don’t care much for words anyway.”
“Yeah, well, I do. Words mean a lot. Actually, words mean everything. They can hurt, they can heal. They can—”
“Actions mean more.” His blue eyes dare me to disagree with him.
I shake my head. I don’t know why I thought he was any different. “Spoken like somebody who just wants to get into a fight.”
“I’m not talking about that, Tessa.”
I freeze at the sound of my name on his lips. I don’t think he’s ever said my name before. It makes my stomach squeeze and my anger slowly unravel. After a moment, I find my voice. “I didn’t know Chase was going to be here. You can ask Alec. He was there when I first saw him.”
Hayes looks to his feet. “Alec doesn’t really like talking about you.”
I roll my eyes. Of course he doesn’t. He’d rather I just didn’t exist, I’m sure. “Yeah, well, feeling’s mutual, I guess.”
Hayes takes a breath, and with that one action, it’s as if he sucks all the air from the room. My gaze darts to his. His lips purse before he says, “I’m sorry about this year.”
The world closes in on me. The cabin, my things, and everything else around Hayes and me disappears. I just stare at him. He looks contrite. Ashamed, too. I can tell he means what he’s said, but I don’t know if I can find it in me to care.
“None of us thought it was going to go down like that.”
I stand there for a minute, watching him squirm in the silence filling the room. Good. He deserves it. “I guess you were right, Ice Man. Words don’t really mean all that much.” I walk past him, keeping my eyes intent on his face until I push my cabin door open and step out onto the porch. I wait for Hayes to walk out after me. He doesn’t look back as he steps off the porch, but he does wait for me just off the side of the steps while I lock the flimsy door.
Why apologize now? And why start this whole conversation asking about Chase like he has something to do with any of this?
When I step off the porch, he starts walking. I follow him all the way to the main building, but in a way, it’s almost as if he’s following me. He’s aware of where I am every single step of the way. I have no doubt that if I were to veer off the path, he would stop and follow. When we get to the big log cabin, he opens the door for me, and I step through.
Immediately, I’m assaulted by the smell of hot, barbecued food. Through a door to our right is the mess hall that’s set up much like RHS’s cafeteria. Already, I can hear the chatter of those who’ve beaten us to the food. My stomach tells me I’ve waited too long to eat, so I head straight for the door without thinking what I’ll see on the other side of it.
Heads snap around, most noticeably the Ballers. They glance over me and then behind me, surely taking note of Hayes following me inside. That’s where this ends for Hayes though. He goes right over to where the rest of the Ballers are sitting and makes himself comfortable.
For the first time since school ended, I see Sloan. I have to suck in a breath at the dark circles under his eyes. He looks so tired. They make me think of the naps I took with him, of trying to take care of him, which in turn makes my heart ache. All that’s washed away though. He couldn’t even find it in himself to stick up for me when Lake started his shit.
Forget him.
Instead of wallowing, I move toward the other guys I recognize from previous years. I say hey to them and then introduce myself to the others. I recognize their names, and now I have the faces to go along with them.
Just as I’m about to pick a place to sit, noise from the entrance wafts in and soon, Chase and his lacrosse friends are making their way into the mess hall. He catches my eye and smiles.
Ryan stands. In the middle of everything, he’s on his feet in seconds, his fists by his sides. He glares at Chase with a hatred I don’t understand, but Chase just casually ignores him. I don’t look directly over at the Ballers, but I can tell none of them like the idea that the Huntington College Lacrosse Team is here. It is a little different from previous years, but I honestly don’t mind. I walk forward to join them in line to get food. “Dale,” one of Chase’s teammates says when he sees me. “You want to sit with us?”
Relief floods me. “Yeah, I think I will.”
When we’re finished going through the small cafeteria line, filling our plates with barbecued chicken, beans, and potato salad, I follow the lacrosse players to a table in the far corner, the exact opposite side of the room the Ballers are sitting at. I can feel my teammates’ stares on the back of my head—another control method, I think. I’m sure they’d rather me sit at a table all by my myself, talking to no one. They don’t want me to be happy. They don’t want me to have anything, but I’m going to prove to them that I don’t care what they want. I’m going to do exactly what I want, when I want, regardless of what they think.
Sitting with the lacrosse team is actually nice. They regale me with funny stories from their last season. I can tell Chase fits in so well with them. It makes me jealous to see what a team really should feel
like. I know I’m a girl playing on a boys’ team, but not having a dick doesn’t mean I should be a freaking outcast. In fact, me being dickless doesn’t seem to bother the Huntington Lacrosse Team at all.
When a few of them start talking strategy, Chase, who I’m sitting right next to, leans over. “Christie told me the end of the basketball season didn’t go that well for you.”
I poke at my beans with the plastic fork. “Did she now?”
“She said some major shit happened.”
I can tell he wants me to open up to him about it, but I’m not going to. That’s in the past, and I have so much looking forward to do. I shrug. “Nothing that shouldn’t have been unexpected.”
He glares over his shoulder. “I know those guys are fucking assholes. A couple of black eyes and some bruised ribs proves that.”
My jaw snaps shut. I knew they all punched him, but damn. Bruised ribs? “Are you okay?”
A small smile forms on his face as he turns toward me. “You know I just basically asked you the same question, and you sidestepped it instead of answering.” He places his fork down and angles toward me. “I know you don’t care that I care, but I do. Don’t trust them. Don’t—”
A voice hovers over us. It’s dark and sharp. “Tessa, a few of us are about to go outside and shoot around some.” I turn to find Hayes, Ryan, and a few of the other non-Ballers behind me. “You want to come?” Hayes asks.
I swallow. It means more that Hayes is asking, but still, no. They aren’t going to rule me here. “Actually, I’m not done with dinner. Thanks though,” I say sweetly. I turn back around and look at Chase. He and Ryan are glaring at one another, but I poke him in the leg. “You were saying?”
Chase turns around with a cocky smirk, and for a second, I honestly fear for him. The tension thickens right around us. Hayes and Ryan are fuming, and I honestly can’t say why. They made their choice. Actually, it was more like Sloan and Alec made their choice. Ryan and Hayes didn’t have shit to choose over.
Sure, the little voice keeps nagging me about Ryan’s declaration, but it doesn’t matter, right?
The other lacrosse players turn around now. It’s like everyone can feel it. “Actually, I was just saying,” Chase starts. “The guys and I are going to have a bonfire tonight on the beach. You should come.”
My reply is immediate. “Sounds like fun.”
A few of the guys whoop in excitement. One even says, “At least we’ll have one hot chick.” Hayes’s ice-cold gaze cuts to him, but the guy doesn’t even notice. The lacrosse team has already started lamenting that the only downside of having their little lacrosse camp here is that there’s no “P” for miles.
It makes me laugh.
Ryan and the others walk away, heading out the mess hall door that leads directly outside. As soon as they’re out the door, I turn to Chase. “Give me a sec, okay?”
I run out after the group. Hayes and Ryan are huddled together. The others are just a few steps ahead of them, so when I make myself known, it’s only Ryan and Hayes who turn.
“Don’t go near Chase again,” I tell them, putting on my best authoritative voice. “There’s no stupid claiming in place. You guys gave that up when Lake asked you to. As far as you’re concerned, we’re just at the same basketball camp.” Ryan’s practically shaking at the mention of Chase, but I don’t let it deter me. “I hope you guys brought your A game because I’m not backing down here. This is as much my turf as it is yours.”
After staring at me for a while, Ryan asks, “Is that all?”
I nod, then spin on my heel and head back toward the mess hall, bumping right into Sloan as I go.
Instead of feeling some sick satisfaction for telling the guys off, the skin where Sloan and I brushed against one another heats, then travels up my arm, over my neck, and to my face, so that by the time I sit next to Chase again, he’s asking me if I’m okay. Several different emotions war with one another inside my chest.
“Fine,” I tell him, needing to fan my face. “About this bonfire?”
I take all the information in, ignoring the voice in my head that’s telling me to go to Sloan to see if he’s okay. The dark circles under his eyes were even worse up close.
6
Basketball camp actually does have a curfew and rules, however, no one’s ever checked up on me. It probably has something to do with the fact that my dad runs it, and that I’ve never given them a reason to check on me before. Right now, as I leave the cabin at nine to head down to the beach, I’m pretty happy about that fact because I’m not worried about someone coming around my cabin at ten to see if I’m in bed by curfew.
I slip right out onto the beach from my small porch and then skirt around the water’s edge toward the treeline. I wave at a couple of the guys who are just now packing up their stuff to head back to their cabins. They’re both juniors and live down state, so the only time we see one another is at this camp. At the edge of the treeline, a figure comes into view. For a second, my heart beats hard in my chest. From far away like this, the shadow looks tall and menacing, so I wonder if it’s Hayes paying me another visit to try to prevent me from going to the bonfire. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the Ballers showing up. Chase asked me to come right in front of Ryan and Hayes. If they wanted to, they could be dicks and show up to ruin this for me just like they ruined everything for me last year.
When I get closer, I realize it isn’t Hayes though. It’s Chase. “Thought you’d like an escort.”
Damn. He really is sweet. I happen to really like his sister, too. Anyone else would’ve gotten pissed at me when a bunch of assholes kicked the crap out of their brother because of me, but not her. She knew where to place the blame. The only people who control the Ballers is themselves.
I smile at Chase as he approaches. He’s not as tall as the Ballers. He and I are almost the same height, though he does have that sporty build I like. He’s also not an asshole. That should put a bunch of hash marks in the positive column, but I don’t know. Chase is nice, but that’s just about all there is, I think.
I follow him down the small wooded path that leads to the other beach in front of where the lacrosse players’ cabins are. Camp Holly is normally a camp for younger kids, but guys like my dad and the lacrosse players can rent it out for weeks at a time. One year, a group of girl scouts had the neighboring set of cabins. I swear their favorite pastime was showing up to ogle the guys when we played on the outdoor court. Not that I blamed them, but they seemed a little too young to be checking out hot guys to me.
“My sister says hi,” Chase says, his smooth voice interrupting my thoughts.
“Yeah? You told her you saw me here?”
He chuckles a little. “I don’t know if you noticed, but she’s shipping us hardcore. I think she has a bit of a girl crush on you herself, so she’s projecting it onto me.”
I run my hands through my hair, pulling it over my shoulder. I left it down today, so there’s a lot of it. Mostly, I’m just trying to avoid him talking about us as anything more than friends. “It must be nice to have a sister or any sibling for that matter.”
He shrugs. “I guess I never thought about it before. I don’t know any other way.”
We break through the trees, and immediately, I see the fire lighting up the darkness ahead. Shadowy figures surround it, some sitting right in the sand, some standing. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything like this at basketball camp. Then again, I wouldn’t be invited if they had, so for all I know, they could’ve enjoyed all-out parties with me sleeping in my cabin completely unaware.
I bite my lip and move forward with Chase. His shoulder bumps mine when we walk, which reminds me of the short dance we shared at homecoming. Part of me wonders why I don’t like Chase. I look over at him, staring at his squared jaw, athletic build. He’s good looking. He truly is. But he doesn’t make my heart race like…well, like any of the Ballers. I know that’s dumb and sick, but I can’t control the way my body reacts.
He catches me looking at him and smiles wide. “I’m glad you decided to come. If you didn’t show, I was going to drag you out of your cabin. I half expected one of those assholes to lock you inside.”
I laugh out loud, but he’s probably right. At least, they would have when they had the claiming order in place. Back then, I would’ve wanted to stay with them, too. Now, they can go fuck themselves. “Thanks for inviting me. As ridiculous as this sounds, I’ve never been to a bonfire on the beach.”
His mouth drops. “Seriously?” His eyebrow raises. “How are you so sheltered, Tessa Dale? It doesn’t make any sense.”
I’ve often wondered the same thing myself. Anyone else would have taken advantage of the fact their father is wealthy and connected due to being a pro basketball player. I’ve never felt the need, for whatever reason. I shrug in response. “Just a good girl, I guess.”
By the time I answer, we’re at the bonfire. Chase leads me to an open space with a log big enough for two people to sit. He lets me sit first, then joins me. Our thighs brush. Nothing. No goosebumps. No dry mouth. Other than the fact that I recognize how good looking he is, I don’t feel anything from the innocent touch.
This is utter crap. I don’t know how, but it’s all the Ballers’ fault. They’ve ruined me.
One of Chase’s teammates starts talking to me about basketball, which turns into a conversation about our worst sports injuries. I’ve been pretty lucky in that department, but some of these guys…damn. I wouldn’t want to be them. I find myself rubbing my knees and silently praying for them to stay strong. My dad always says that the best way to avoid injury is to eat healthy and stay moving, even during the off-season. I’m not saying I don’t eat the occasional ice cream, but I do run and weight lift year-round for this exact reason.