by E. M. Moore
We had plans for David to drive her into town so that we could meet up and talk about things Saturday afternoon, but apparently David has to go visit his sick Grandma. I’m sorry!!!, she texts.
I sigh. I was really looking forward to some girl time and not having to keep my head down to avoid any and all male gazes except for the coaches and my dad. The only good thing about camp right now is that I feel like I’m doing well. Jacquin has made it a point to help me any chance he can get, throwing tips at me here and there. He’s a nice guy. It’s no big deal, I text back. Maybe next weekend?
I put the phone away and head toward breakfast. I’ve still been eating with Chase, but I’ve been quieter lately, concentrating on basketball and dodging their invitations for me to come hang out on their side of camp. I have a feeling that the lacrosse side of camp isn’t taking this as seriously as the basketball side. It seems more like a bunch of frat guys decided to hang out with one another rather than any real skill sharpening. I’m sure it’s good for teamwork though.
Just my luck, I end up right behind Ryan and Lake in the line to get breakfast. They don’t notice me until I grab a tray and let it fall to the stainless-steel counter. Lake only smirks back at me but turns right away. Ryan, however, holds my gaze for a moment. Beyond him, Lake is rattling about how they’re going to get away from camp. They, of course, want to ask one of the other guys here who has a car so they can go into town. I’m glad they’ve learned not to ask me. I couldn’t give a shit if they leave camp or not. Hell, I might not even leave camp today.
Ryan nods at him absentmindedly until they turn away with full trays of food, and it’s my turn to grab some. Once I’m loaded up with eggs, toast, bacon, and a pancake, I head toward the lacrosse table. There aren’t a lot of them here this morning, but Chase is. I come up behind him and set my tray down. He looks back, a full smile on his face already. “Good morning, Sunshine.”
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
He chuckles. “Some of us got too inebriated last night to make it in time for breakfast.”
“You should’ve come,” one of his teammates says. “Chase was sulking.”
Chase’s cheeks color a little.
“I don’t drink,” I say. “I’d be a downer at a party like that.” It’s kind of true. It’s not that I’ve never had anything to drink before, but I’m definitely not drinking during my father’s basketball camp. That would be a disaster waiting to happen.
“Aww, come on, it’s the weekend,” his teammate says. “We’re probably going to have more drinks tonight, and you can’t use basketball as an excuse. Sunday is a free day, you said so yourself.”
I pick my fork up. It’s true I don’t have plans anymore, so hanging out with them wouldn’t be terrible. They’re actually really nice guys. “Maybe,” I tell him, not committing to anything.
The guy smirks. “Hear that, Chase? You just have to ask her nicely.”
“I have been asking her nicely.”
“Maybe she’s just not that into you.” His friend pauses, screwing his mouth into an “o” of surprise. “Oooohhh,” he says like he’s thrown down the gauntlet to a burn war.
Chase is embarrassed. I can tell. His shoulders stiffen, and he looks down at the table in front of us. I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll hang out with you tonight. Promise.”
Jokingly, the guy says, “Well, okay then. That escalated. Someone’s getting laid tonight.”
It’s funny until I hear Lake’s voice pierce the air behind us. Then, my blood is boiling. “Like that’s something special. Ask Alec and Sloan.”
That motherfucker.
I twist in my seat, grabbing the first thing that catches my eye, which happens to be my juice glass, and I throw it right at Lake’s smug face. He bats it away easily, but that doesn’t mean he’s spared from getting a shirt full of sticky orange liquid. I’m on my feet in the next second, barreling toward him.
“Bitch!” Lake growls. He stands up next, his hands fists at his sides, juice dripping down his cheeks. He’s having trouble keeping his breathing under control, but so am I. I’ve had enough of his bullshit.
I launch myself at him, my fist rearing back, but a body grabs me from behind. “Don’t,” Chase says in my ear.
I struggle against him. I’ve seriously had enough. Part of me is hurt by what Lake said because he’s right. I shouldn’t have done anything with Alec and Sloan because look what they fucking did to me. The other part of me just fucking hates the asshole standing in front of me.
He has my friends. He has my position. I loathe Lake O’fucking Brien.
“Excuse me,” a woman says from inside the kitchen area. “Someone is picking that up.”
Every one of us ignores her. Lake and I are having an epic stare down. The lacrosse players are behind me, flanking Chase. There’s so much fucking testosterone in the room right now it’s ridiculous.
River laughs. “She thinks she can take you, brother.”
“She won’t have to,” Chase growls.
This makes Lake laugh. “Like last time, pussy?”
“I think it’s more of a fair fight now. What do you think?”
Chase is trying to push me behind him, but I don’t need anyone saving me, and he’s not going to fight my battles for me either. Finally, I push his hands away and move closer. Lake meets me head-on. Hayes is there in an instant. “Don’t you ever fucking say that about me again.”
“What part of it pisses you off the most, Dale? The fact that you’re a whore? Or the fact that they don’t want you anymore?”
“Dude,” Sloan says, his hazel eyes like fire. He seems to have gotten a few splashes of juice on him, too. In fact, the whole Baller table got caught in the crossfire, but I don’t give a shit about that. “Knock that shit off.”
River shrugs. “I thought it was funny.”
“Get fucked,” Hayes says to him. The stare he levels at the younger O’Brien makes the other shrink back. I have a feeling Hayes doesn’t like River much.
Lake’s gaze switches between Sloan and Hayes. Alec and Ryan are standing, too. In fact, the whole fucking cafeteria is standing. Lake puts his hands up. “Sorry, Ivy. I forgot how much you liked her…what did you call it again? Tight, little cunt.”
I move quick. With two hands on his chest, I shove him with everything I have. He stumbles back a few steps, his brother’s hand snatching out to help save him from tripping over. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and comes toward me, his face bright red. Chase is pushing forward, too, while Hayes is trying to get me out of harm’s way.
It’s a fucking mess of tangled bodies until Jacquin walks in. He pushes through the circle. “Whoa, whoa, what the fuck is going on here?” He looks at me first, but I look away. I’m so angry, I’m probably going to cry soon. Damn hormones. I’m not sad, I’m not even furious. I’m super fucking pissed, but for some reason, it comes out as crying.
When none of us say anything, Jacquin appraises the situation. He sees a couple bodies surrounding me, juice all over the table, and the Ballers. It’s not hard to figure out I was involved.
“Is there something going on here, Tessa?”
I bear down on my jaw, trying to keep my emotions at bay. I glare at Lake. It doesn’t matter if I say anything. It won’t change who they are or anything else that will happen. “No,” I tell him. “Lake’s just a klutz is all. I think he dropped his juice.”
The fucker in question sneers at me. Jacquin just nods his head. He knows what I’ve just told him is all bullshit, but I’m not going to prove him right either.
“Come on,” Chase says. He grabs my forearm and tries to lead me out of the room, but Hayes takes over.
He puts his hand around my shoulders and steers me back around, taking me out the back door and straight outside. He’s stiff beside me, his fingers digging into my upper arm as he takes me back toward my cabin. I don’t even try to get away from him. He’s so much taller than I am that it feels as if he’s tryin
g to shelter me. Right now, that’s what I need. Someplace safe. He opens my cabin door and takes me right to my bed, pushing me down to sit on it. “Don’t leave this room until I get back.”
“What?” I snap, but Hayes has already turned and left, his face a mask of fury.
I flop back on the bed. A part of me wishes I’d punched Lake. That would have brought up a whole other round of problems, including probably getting suspended from camp. I don’t think the fact that my dad runs the place would’ve stopped that punishment from happening either, no matter if Lake deserved it or not.
A couple minutes later, there’s a knock on my door. I look up cautiously, but I see Chase standing there beyond the screen. “Come in,” I tell him, my stomach dropping. How embarrassing. Now everyone knows I’ve done something with Alec and Sloan.
The door groans as he opens it. Once inside, he holds up my tray of food. “I brought this for you.”
I give him a small smile. Perpetually being nice to me. I don’t get it. “Thank you.” I take the tray and set it on my lap before I dig around in the cold eggs. I decide not to bother with those before I tackle the bacon and the toast. At least I can get something into my empty stomach. “I’m sorry about that in there,” I tell him.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he says. “Why don’t you say anything about it? The bullying? Wasn’t that one of your coaches? You should’ve told him.”
“This has been a thing between us for a long time. It’s not going to get better if I tattle on him; it’ll only get worse,” I confess. “I prefer to fight it out with basketball, but Lake’s a douche.”
“He’s probably scared you might actually be better than him.”
I raise my eyebrows and smile. I think that’s exactly what he’s afraid of, but since I have a mouth full of toast, I don’t say anything.
Chase runs a hand down his face. “I hate seeing them treat you like that. It’s not right.” He sits in the only other lone chair in the room and looks back over at me. “I’m going to ask you something, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but did you even do anything with Alec or Sloan? Or both of them?”
I swallow, my face turning red.
“You don’t have to give me details.”
“I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“True. That’s fair.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “You’re so much better than them, Tessa. I see the way you look at them. I know you somehow have this crazy need for them to accept you, but you’re so far out of their league…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I just don’t get it.”
I blow out a breath. “I don’t know anything right now, Chase. I really don’t.” I set the tray down on the floor.
Chase uses that as an opportunity to come forward. He sits with me on the bed, turning toward me. Lifting his hand, he filters it through my hair. “I don’t want to see you hurt. I want to see you with someone who will actually be nice to you. I—” He swallows. He’s stopped trying to talk now. He just keeps staring at my lips. He moves closer and closer. My stomach tumbles over itself. I feel like I’m stuck in place, wanting to see what happens. What if I let him kiss me? Will I actually like him then?
“Tessa,” a voice says.
I start and scramble away from Chase. Hayes is silhouetted in the door, and he looks even more furious now than when he left.
He steps inside, crossing his arms over his chest. His gaze zeroes in on mine, and my heart beats like crazy.
The “Ice Man” is showing us why that’s his nickname. A shiver crawls over my spine, and I hug my hands to myself. What have I gotten myself into now?
12
I think Hayes glared Chase from the room. I’m not sure. All I know is that it’s just the two of us in here now. I vaguely remember Chase saying he’d text me later, but all I can do is stare at Hayes’s deep blue eyes that haven’t left mine.
“Were you just going to kiss him?”
“I—I don’t know,” I answer honestly. I think I was going to let him kiss me.
“I punched Lake for you.”
“You did?” Then, I’m suddenly pulled out of my trance. “You what?!”
His gaze turns to slits. “I punched Lake. Maybe it wasn’t even for you. It was probably for me. He pissed me off.”
I shake my head. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
Hayes moves forward. I’m startled when he drops to his knees in front of me, placing his hands in my lap. “I’m sorry for what we all did to you. I’m sorry I stood back and didn’t say anything. Don’t kiss that guy just because you’re upset about that.”
He’s right. That’s exactly what I was going to do.
Before I can stop the words from coming out, I say, “I’m so mad at myself. I let Lake get to me. I freaking let Alec and Sloan touch me when they obviously didn’t care about me the way I thought they did.”
“Don’t do that to yourself,” Hayes says. He grabs my hands and squeezes them in his own. “There’s more that you don’t know. Alec and Sloan—”
I squeeze his hands once. “Don’t answer for them. All I need to know is what they’ve shown me, and what they’ve shown me is that they let someone else dictate their feelings for me. Here you are apologizing, and you’re probably the last one who should be.”
Hayes shakes his head. His dirty blond hair flops over his face. “I have a lot to apologize for. I could have stopped Lake before. I should have told you I liked you before instead of always standing in the background. Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe a lot of things would have changed if I had.”
Like before, I raise my hand to Hayes’s cheekbones, letting my fingertips graze them. His eyes flutter closed. His hands smooth up my thigh and around to my ass before he moves me forward on the bed. I bite back a yelp at his touch. Hayes has always been so quiet. I like the person I’m beginning to know, but I don’t know all that much about him. I’ve never seen his parents at games. Actually, I take that back. I think I remember seeing his parents at camp the year I first came. But ever since then, he rides in with one of the other Ballers’ families. “There’s a lot more I need to know,” I tell him. Already, I feel the urge to pull him against me, but I’m not doing that again. I gave in too easily to Sloan and Alec and look what happened. I don’t want to add Hayes to my whore list just so I can get made fun of again.
“I’ll be completely honest with you,” he says. He doesn’t take his hands away from me. They’re digging into my backside, sending steady pulses of heat to my core. It’s like torture. Wanting something but knowing it’s not right for you or if it ever will be. He glances up. “You’re so beautiful.”
I bite down on my lip as his words sink into me. “I need a minute.”
He backs up immediately. He sits in the chair a few feet away, looking like an adult in a children’s tearoom playset chair. With him over there, I can think clearly, and my head isn’t so mussed with him and everything else that’s going on. “I told Sloan and Alec to stay away from you until they’ve grown a pair of balls,” he says.
I smirk at that. “It doesn’t bother you that you all like me? Do you all like me? Still, I mean.”
Hayes’s jaw clenches. “We’ve shared before. Not at the same time. I think they thought it would be easy. It’s not.” He leans back, and the chair groans. “It’s a totally different scenario, but none of us have any right to say anything to you about that. As far as I’m concerned, you can do whatever you want. I just hope I’m a part of what you want.”
“Because you’re not going to stand in the background anymore?”
His blue eyes flare. “No, not again.”
“I’m going to need to see proof.” Offhandedly, I say, “I wish I’d seen you punch Lake.”
I can’t help but frown a little. Hayes has to hide a small smirk. “You’ll be able to tell when you see him next.”
I pull my legs up and hug them to my chest. “Why does he care who you guys see?”
“He usually doesn’t. I could see it was bothering him. Ryan could, too. Alec and Sloan were too caught up in you to care. I know you don’t want me to answer for them, but this is probably part of the problem you’re going to want to know. For a lot of us, the five of us are all we have. Sloan’s family life is a mess. You know that. Ryan’s mom flits from guy to guy. Alec is probably the only one of us who is semi-normal. We pick on him all the time about how he got mixed up with us. I thought he would be the one to tell Lake off first.”
Except Alec has a secret, too.
I sigh. He’s probably worried about losing his friends after the truth comes out about him wanting to go to college for baseball, not basketball.
“He just can’t stand the fact that I play the same position as him.”
“That, and that his friends all like you.”
I look into my lap. “Stop saying that.”
“It’s true.”
“It’s hard to believe.”
He’s silent for a little while. “The problem is that he sees you as a threat. Not just on the basketball team, but in our little group, too. We’ve never all liked the same girl before. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
It probably is. But who am I to judge? I like all of them, don’t I? Besides Lake, of course. Lake can go burn in the fiery pits of hell for all I care. “Probably,” I tell him. “Ryan warned me that it would interfere with basketball.”
“Ryan brings everything back around to basketball.”
I can’t blame him. All of us have so much riding on the fact that we have to be great at it in order to accomplish our goals. Well, I guess everyone except for Alec now. But Alec’s still in the same boat, just a different sport.
My phone buzzes. I pull it out of my pocket and stare down. It’s Chase telling me he hopes I still plan on coming over to the lacrosse section tonight to hang out. I screwed that up, I think. I shouldn’t have let him get that close.