Rain for Christmas

by Vanessa Miller

  “You didn’t have to get me anything,” Diana said while unwrapping it as if it was the only present she had received all year.

  “Why shouldn’t we get you something? You give us a something every year,” Nina said.

  “Yeah, but all I give you guys is cookies, or cakes and some flavored tea.” She opened the box and pulled out a dazzling white cashmere sweater. “My gifts certainly don’t add up to something as wonderful as this sweater.” Diana hugged the sweater and then hugged Nina. “Thank you so much.”

  “You are more than welcome, dear.”

  Diana turned to Amarri, wanting to show off her sweater and see Amarri’s present. But when she heard her ask Ikee, “Are you my Christmas angel?” Diana knew the day was not going to end well.

  “I’m not no angel,” Little Isaac said. “I’m just a kid. Right, Dad?”

  “That’s all I’ve ever known you to be,” Donavan answered for his father as he came into the room.

  Ikee turned to Nina and asked, “Can I open the present Ms. Diana brought me?”

  Nina nodded.

  Donavan turned to Amarri, who was holding her present as if it were a bomb. “You can open yours too, Amarri.”

  Amarri shook her head. “I don’t want it.” She put the present on the couch, stuck her lip out and as tears streamed down her face, she ran out of the room.

  “Amarri, get back here,” Diana yelled, with a mortified expression on her face.

  “What’s wrong? What did I do to her?” Donavan may have been upset with Diana, but he would never hurt Amarri. Not in a million years.

  “She thinks that a Christmas angel is going to give her a La La Lucy doll.” Diana said. Then she added, “I tried to get her one while we were out shopping today, but some lady beat me to the last one.”

  “Why’d you wait until Christmas Eve to get her doll anyway?” Donavan couldn’t believe that Diana could be so clueless. Or maybe she just broke hearts as a hobby.

  “I don’t have time to argue with you, Donavan. I need to go find Amarri.” Diana walked out of the room calling for the little girl with every step as she headed for the kitchen.

  Donavan left the great room also. But he went in the opposite direction. Climbing the stairs two at a time, he raced toward his bedroom. The boxes that were delivered to the house that were supposed to be given away at the children’s Christmas program were still in his room. And if he was not mistaken, there was a La La Lucy in one of those boxes.

  Grabbing the pocket knife off his dresser, Donavan sliced open the boxes. He sifted through both boxes until he found the doll he was looking for. Gripping the doll as if he’d just found gold, Donavan made his way back down the stairs.

  “Here, put your coat on,” Diana was instructing Amarri as they stood at the front door.

  Donavan raised a hand. “Wait, don’t leave. I have something for Amarri.”

  “With the way she just treated her last gift, I’m not sure Amarri needs anything else tonight,” Diana said sternly.

  With a look of repentance on her face, Amarri said, “I’ll open my present tomorrow, Auntie Diana, I promise.”

  Holding the doll behind his back as he bent down in front of Amarri, Donavan said, “I think I have something you’ll want to see tonight.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Donavan, but I’m just tired of opening presents.”

  “This one doesn’t have to be opened, because I never wrapped it.” He brought the doll from behind his back and let Amarri see it.”

  “My La La Lucy!” Amarri wrapped her arms around Donavan’s neck as she said, “I should have known that you were my Christmas angel.” With those words she began to sob, still clutching onto Donavan’s neck.

  In all his years of teaching and preaching to the children and youth at his father’s church, he had received numerous hugs from the kids. But not one of those other hugs had ever so completely stolen his heart like Amarri was doing right now. His eyes moistened as he pulled out of her embrace. “Hey, it’s just a doll, no need to get so emotional about it.”

  Diana bent down and put her arms around Amarri. “Baby, what’s got you so upset? Please stop crying like this.”

  “I’m n-not upset. I-I’m happy.”

  Donavan and Diana looked at each other, both confused by the situation. Diana sat down on the floor and put Amarri in her lap. Donavan wiped the tears from the child’s face as he knelt down beside them.

  “So, you’re all better?” Diana cautiously asked.

  Amarri beamed. “I told you that I’m happy. And best of all, my mom is happy now, too.”

  Diana’s left brow rose. “How do you know that your mom is happy?”

  Donavan figured that this conversation was about to turn personal. He knew he should excuse himself, but he just couldn’t.

  “Don’t you remember, Auntie Diana? When we visited my mom, she said that she wouldn’t be able to see me for a while, but she had prayed that my Christmas wish would come true.

  “I whispered in my mom’s ear that I wanted a La La Lucy. And she said that it would make her so happy to know that my wish came true.” Amarri grabbed hold of Donavan’s neck, squeezed him tight and with a big smile she added, “She’d be happy to know that I have a Christmas angel, too.”

  “And I’m happy to be your Christmas angel, little one. I’m glad you got what you wanted for Christmas.”

  “Me too, now Auntie Diana won’t have to go back to the store to get it, because she already told my grandma, that money was low and bills were high.”

  Diana glanced over at Donavan. She had this kids-say-the-darndest-things-and-I’m-so-embarrassed look on her face.

  “Don’t sweat it,” Donavan told Diana trying to put her at ease, although he had no idea why it mattered to him. “I used to work for a church myself, remember? So I know the pay is low.”

  “But the benefits are sky high,” Donavan and Diana said in unison, quoting something Isaac often told his staff. They laughed together and then found themselves gazing into each other’s eyes.

  Donavan’s knees were beginning to ache from his position on the floor. His mind was also wandering into places it should never ever go again. So he stood up, dusted off his pants and said, “I miss hearing him say stuff like that.”

  Diana moved Amarri off of her lap, and stood as she looked Donavan in the face again and said, “Your father misses you, too.” Something in her eyes sparkled as she turned away from Donavan for a moment, when she turned back, she said, “Look Donavan, I am truly sorry for what happened between us. If I could take it back I would… but don’t you think it’s time that you stopped beating yourself up because you disappointed your father and just live the life God intended for you to live?”

  He wished he could just forget and live his life. But Donavan had never been able to get over the despair he saw in his father’s eyes the night he caught him and Diana together. Nor had he gotten over the fact that his father hadn’t practiced what he preached and forgiven him for his sins. Instead, he’d driven his own son away from him. Donavan still remembered the day his father fired him as if it had been yesterday…

  When it was Donavan’s turn, he sat across from his father. Nina got up from the couch and handed her son the employment agreement he had signed when he started working for the church. “Please read over this information before your father speaks with you.” She patted him on the back and then turned and reclaimed her seat.

  Isaac saw the tears floating around his wife’s eyes as she turned from Donavan. He hesitated for a moment, giving Nina time to adjust to what he was about to do. Donavan’s head was still bent as he read through the employment agreement. Isaac’s eyes were on Nina. Her head was bowed as she prayed, then she looked at Isaac and gave him a reassuring smile and nodded.

  All right, she had his back, and that was all he needed to know. He and Nina had gone back and forth on this issue over the weekend. They’d prayed, talked and fussed about what they would do with Donavan. They had finally
made the only decision that could have been made in this situation. They had to do to him what they would do to any other staff member caught in the same predicament.

  “Your mother and I set this meeting with you this afternoon because we need to inform you that your conduct has fallen below the Godly standard you agreed to uphold at the time of your employment,” Isaac began.

  Donavan laughed nervously, “At the time of my employment? Dad, why are you talking to me like I’m just some employee here? I’m your son.”

  Nina stood and walked over to Donavan and put her hand on his shoulder. “Let your father finish, hon.”

  For as long as Donavan could remember he had both feared and respected his father. Isaac had gone to prison when Donavan was eleven months old for drug trafficking. Donavan had been four years old when Isaac had been released from prison. Prison had changed Isaac to the point where he now wanted to live right and love the Lord. But as Donavan grew older, he began to hear the stories about how infamous his father had been during his drug running days. Knowing what his father had been capable of always made Donavan hesitate and check his words before speaking. Even now, as Donavan looked across the desk at his father, he decided it would be best to just shut his mouth and listen.

  Isaac’s voice was calm but forceful as he said, “We are suspending you without pay from your responsibilities at the church for four months.”

  Donavan shook his head as if he’d just heard something really wrong and he had to get it out of his mind before it somehow became right or true. “B-but you only suspended Diana for two months? I don’t understand how you can do this to me.”

  “You are in a position of authority at this church, and that makes your offense much worse in my book. Therefore, you will pay a higher price for your sins,” Isaac told him.

  Donavan turned to Nina. “Mom, come on. I’m sorry about everything. I’ll do anything to make this right, but don’t send me away like this.”

  Nina wasn’t even trying to hide her tears now. The saltiness of tears tasted bitter as she opened her mouth to say, “We’re not sending you away, Donavan. This is still your church and we are still your parents. We just believe that you need time to rebuild your relationship with God before trying to minister in the children’s church.”

  Donavan turned back to his father. “Is this really what you want, Dad? You know me. You know I love God and you know that I’m good with the kids in Children’s Church.” When Isaac said nothing, Donavan stood up and continued to plead his case. “Don’t do this, Dad. I’m your son. I know I messed up and I’m sorry; I really am.”

  Isaac asked Donavan, “Are you truly sorry, son; or just sorry that you got caught?”

  Donavan stepped back as if he’d just been punched by his father. “Okay, then. Throw me out of here. But tell me this; how am I supposed to pay my bills without a paycheck for four months?”

  Isaac hunched his shoulders. “There are consequences for our actions. You should have had a plan in place since you knew you were living contrary to the will of God.”

  “Isaac, you don’t have to be so harsh,” Nina admonished.

  But Isaac was fed up. “You know what, Nina? I’ve had it up to here,” he lifted his hand above his head then continued, “with this boy’s attitude. He messed up, but then he comes in here and expects us to just act as if it never happened.” He pointed a finger at Donavan as he said, “But you forgot one thing, didn’t you? You forgot that I don’t work for myself. I answer to God about everything that goes on in this church, so even if I did want to forget about it, I can’t. Because God saw what you did long before I walked in and caught you playing house with the church secretary.”

  Now Donavan was fired up. He forgot about how much he feared his dad as they stood nose to nose, and Donavan huffed, “What about forgiveness, huh, Dad? Yeah, you’re so up on what God says and what God wants, so tell me what the Bible says about forgiveness?”

  Isaac calmed himself and sat back down. “We are more than willing to bring you back to your current position after your suspension period, if you are willing to conduct yourself as a man of God.”

  “Are Godly men homeless, Dad? Because that’s what I’m going to be without an income for the next four months.”

  Nina wiped away her tears as she told her son, “Why don’t you move back home for the next few months and rent your condo out?”

  That idea earned an angry, bitter laugh from Donavan. “I wouldn’t step foot in your husband’s house,” he told his mother. He put his hand on Isaac’s desk and leaned down so that he was in his father’s face again. “You win, Pastor Walker, I’ll get out of your church, but I want you out of my life. Do you hear me, old man? Don’t you come near me.”

  Donavan stepped away from his father. Nina tried to hug him. He brushed her off by saying, “Not now, Mom. I just need my space right now, okay?”

  Nina’s blubbering response indicated that she understood.

  Donavan angrily strutted by his mother and father. When he reached the office door, he swung it open and then turned back to them and said, “Matthew 6:15 says ‘if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive your sins’. Can you afford to not have your sins forgiven, Dad?” With that, Donavan slammed the door behind him.

  If his father had just said four little words, “I forgive you, son”, Donavan wouldn’t have left town. He wouldn’t have stepped away from the ministry in order to run his own business. But everything he’d done since he’d left home had been an attempt to make his father proud. Donavan hadn’t been able to make the Great Isaac Walker proud while he worked in the ministry, so he’d figured that becoming a rich and success business man would finally get the old man’s attention.

  Isaac picked that moment to rush into the foyer and announce. “Iona’s in the hospital. Get your coat on Donavan, looks like we’re getting blessed with a baby for Christmas.”

  7

  It was midnight and Iona was in full blown labor. Johnny, Nina and Cynda were in the delivery room with her. Johnny was getting screamed at by his wife as she applied vice-like grip to his hands at the start of every contraction.

  Nina and Cynda were carrying on a conversation about the joys and heartache of motherhood.

  Cynda rubbed her hands together in sweet anticipation. “I can’t wait to see my grandchild.”

  “Who you tellin’? I’m going to spoil that child so much,” Nina added. It was well understood by both woman that Cynda was Iona’s birth mother and Nina was her mother by marriage, but neither of them cared about that anymore. Iona was the one child that both families got to share… and that just meant that Iona had a whole lot of love everywhere she turned.

  Iona chose that moment to scream as if her life was being stolen from her. “I want my Mamas,” she told Johnny.

  Nina and Cynda jumped up and ran over to Iona. “We’re here, baby,” the women said in unison.

  “The babies coming,” Iona whispered and then her body was stricken with such a strong pain, that she blacked out.

  “What’s wrong with her? What happened?”

  Cynda and Nina moved out of the nurse’s way so she could check on Iona. They then held hands and began sending prayers up to heaven.

  Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Isaac was pacing the floor. Keith and Donavan sat in front of one of the televisions watching a football game. Diana had taken Little Isaac home with her and Amarri, so at least they didn’t have to worry about keeping him occupied.

  Keith got up, walked over to Isaac, and put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “She’s going to be all right. Stop worrying.”

  Isaac stopped pacing. He ran his hands over his face and said, “You know how it is. We never stop worrying about them, no matter how old or grown they think they are.” When Isaac said those words, he glanced in Donavan’s direction.

  “Don’t you think it’s time you talk to the boy?”

  “Boy? You mean full grown man, with a stubborn streak that’
s through the roof.”

  “Just like his old man’s.”

  “Who you calling old?” Isaac stuck out his chest, and threw back his shoulders.

  “I’m calling you old. And me, too. It’s high time for us to start making plans to get out of the way and let our kids take over.”

  Keith had a construction business that was thriving even in this economy. Two of his three sons worked the business with him. Isaac’s business was ministry. He’d always assumed that Donavan would one day take over as pastor and although he couldn’t see himself retiring, he and Nina could become missionaries and travel the world bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to parts of the world that still needed to know about Him.

  “Donavan has his own life now. He doesn’t want to be in ministry anymore.”

  “Have you asked him?”

  Isaac shook his head.

  “Maybe you should ask him now. If you let him leave without telling him how you really feel, you might never get him back here again.”

  Isaac put his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “You know, for an old man, you’ve got a lot of wisdom.” With that, Isaac walked over to Donavan and took the seat Keith abandoned.

  The two sat in silence for an uncomfortable space of time. Donavan finally turned to his father and said, “Look, if you think I was coming on to Diana tonight, you’re wrong. I wouldn’t do something like that in your home.”

  Isaac lifted his hands as if he were stopping traffic. “Whoa, where did that come from?”

  “I know you saw me and Diana talking in the foyer, but I was just giving Amarri the La La Lucy doll she wanted.”

  Isaac put his hand on Donavan’s shoulder. “Look, to tell you the truth, your mom has been praying that you would give Diana another chance. She’s a good woman, son. But that’s not what I came over here to talk to you about.”

  Donavan sat back in his seat, stunned by the knowledge that his mother would actually be praying for him to get back with a woman who had ripped his heart out.