“Moving in with that hot ass man. You lucky, lucky, bitch.” She laughs. “I’ll see you tomorrow night then. We can fill each other in. Mark is picking me up and taking me to work and bringing me home again. Hopefully, his trigger will be a little more delayed tonight.”
With a laugh, I end the call and go back to packing. I have my music blasting from my phone speakers when I hear a faint knock on the door. Without glancing at the time, I stand up from sitting in the middle of the living room packing up DVDs to answer the door.
Glancing through the peephole, I’m surprised to see both Hutton and Laurie on the other side. Quickly, I tug the door open to look into the women’s faces. Motioning for them to come inside, I turn around and jog over to my phone, turning the music down.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask as I face them.
Hutton smiles, shrugging a shoulder. “Louis texted Beaumont.”
“Who texted Hutton and the phone chain was put into motion.” She grins. Then I blink as she holds up some cardboard. “We brought more boxes.”
Hurrying over to her, I take the flattened boxes from her hands and lean them against the wall. “Thank you so much, you guys didn’t have to do that.”
“The shop was dead, we were bored,” Laurie murmurs.
“And the last thing Laurie wants to do when she’s bored is clean and organize the shop,” Hutton grumbles.
Together, the three of us spend the next three hours packing up the entirety of my tiny apartment. Since I don’t have a sofa in the living room, we stack the boxes neatly on top of one another.
Excluding my furniture, just the boxes stacked up, I never realized how little I own. Granted, I have a fairly large pile of items that I’m going to donate to the women’s shelter in town. I only packed my personal items to take to Louis’. We didn’t talk about it, but I have a feeling that my used kitchen gadgets and cheap silverware isn’t really needed at his place.
“God, it’s like packing my life up to live with Beaumont all over again,” Hutton sighs, placing her hands on her hips.
Turning my head, I look back over my shoulder at Hutton. “Did you get rid of everything?”
She nods. “Everything but my clothes and a few little personal things, like pictures.”
“I’m debating on keeping the DVDs and CDs. I honestly can’t remember the last time that I even used one of them.”
“Donate them all. Nobody watches DVDs anymore or busts out a CD. We all have streaming services and Spotify,” Laurie shouts as she takes a bite of an apple that she found in the fridge.
Nodding, I walk over to those two boxes and pick them up, taking them over to the donate pile before I can change my mind.
“Can I ask you a question?” Laurie blurts as soon as I stand up.
Turning my gaze to meet hers, I nod. “I can’t ask Hutton, she’s loved Beau her whole fucking life. But you haven’t loved Louis since you were a teenager.”
Shaking my head slowly, I agree with her. “No, I haven’t loved him my whole life.”
“How scared are you?” she asks, her voice dropping a little. “Not of him, but of the fans and the celebrity status. Then, how scared are you that he’s going to leave you behind?”
Pressing my lips together, I take a moment to breathe. I know why she’s asking me. The father of the baby she’s carrying is one of Beaumont’s bandmates. He’s not as famous as Beaumont, but he has a fan base and with that comes women and a level of insecurity.
Releasing my lips, I nod my head once. “I’m terrified,” I admit. Her eyes widen and I hear Hutton gasp lightly, but I don’t break eye contact from Laurie. “I’m terrified, but Louis isn’t. He knows what he wants and I’m just kind of holding on and enjoying the ride.”
Laurie scrunches her nose up. “I was afraid you were going to say that.”
“Jesse wants to be involved and he really likes you. Give it a chance to turn into something more,” Hutton says, but it sounds like she’s said it a million times and she’s just plain tired of repeating herself.
“I’m not going to get hurt. I’m not going to allow this baby to be hurt,” she snaps.
“I walked in on Joey fucking Raylee, on my sofa, in my living room. Joey didn’t have a job, never held one down for more than a couple weeks and he was only famous in Gallup for being lazy. He still cheated on me, Laurie.”
She blinks, but I continue my thought. “He still cheated on me and we had been together since we were kids. If someone wants to cheat, it won’t matter if they’re famous or a lazy bastard like Joey, they’re going to do it. Opportunity is what they make of it. If I were you, I would give Jesse a chance, he might surprise you.”
“Nobody ever has,” she snaps.
Hutton chuckles. “You’ve never given them the chance.”
Laurie’s eyes narrow on Hutton, then shift over to mine. “I’ll do it. Not because that’s what everyone else wants, but because I want to be able to tell my baby that I tried.”
Hutton makes a noise behind me, but I don’t turn around. Instead, I close the distance between me and Laurie, taking her hands in mine, I squeeze them.
“Even if it doesn’t work out, even if it ends in disaster, you will know that you gave it your all. You’ll be able to be proud of yourself for trying. That’s all that really matters.”
Without a word, Laurie lifts her arms and wraps them around my shoulders, bringing me in for a firm hug. “You were talking about yourself, weren’t you?” she whispers against my ear.
My arms hold on to her just as tightly as she’s holding on to me. “Yeah,” I whimper.
“It’s going to work for you, babe. I can feel it.”
After our hug, Laurie takes a step back and clears her throat. “Okay. That’s enough of that emotional shit. Do you want me to call the shelter and see if they have anyone that can pick all this stuff up? And your bed and furniture, what do you want to do with that?”
I lift my gaze to meet hers. “I think it needs to all be donated,” I whisper. “Maybe I won’t need it any time soon.”
“You won’t,” she mouths as she brings the phone to her ear.
Chapter Twenty-One
TULIP
Sinking down into the warm tub, I lean back against Louis’ body, between his thighs. I pretend not to notice the hard length that’s against my back. Right now, it isn’t about sex, it’s about relaxation. Sex will happen soon enough.
Closing my eyes, I turn my head to the side against his chest and touch my lips to the underside of his jaw. This is exactly what I needed, a night off.
“You get all your stuff done?” he asks, running his warm hands up and down my arms, massaging me gently.
I hum. “I did. The women’s shelter came and picked up everything except what I’m keeping.”
“You could have put your stuff in the barn. I don’t have any animals out there, I use it to store my own shit. You didn’t have to get rid of everything until you were ready.”
I don’t know if I could fall in love with this man any more than I already have. He knew I was struggling with getting rid of everything, he never asked me to, never demanded that I do it. Honestly, he probably would have found a spot for every piece of furniture I owned, if I asked him to.
But I needed to let it all go. That furniture is my past. It’s my life with Joey. It’s my life after my parents died. It’s the life of me struggling just to eat and pay my rent. That isn’t the life that I have now. Hopefully, it will never be my reality again.
“I think I figured out what I want to do,” I offer.
Louis wraps his arms around me. “Yeah?”
Nodding, I inhale a deep breath. “It’s probably stupid, but me and Laurie were talking. Hutton isn’t at the shop really and it’s just Laurie there. She needs help, but she doesn’t want to hire just anyone.”
“You want to do hair?” he asks.
I slowly turn around in the tub to face him. I expect to see him looking at me like I’m ridicu
lous, but he isn’t. He’s watching me like he’s truly interested in what I have to say and that he’s really thinking about it.
Nodding my head once, I smile. “I want to do makeup, nails, and hair. I want to be available for weddings and anything else that comes. I want to learn as much as I can at the school.”
Louis’ lips turn up into a small smile. “Only my girl would see an opportunity and not only want to do that, but add about a dozen more things to her plate. I love it, Tullie. I think it’s really smart.”
“I’m going to go to the school and talk to them about prices and financial aid. I’m just really excited to finally have settled on something, and it’s something that I can do on my own terms, be my own boss.”
Louis reaches out, cupping my cheek with his palm. “It is, baby.”
I don’t tell him that it’s also something that will no doubt keep me busy and will be easy to drown myself in when he eventually turns his back on me and walks away. I know that he will, too. It’s just a matter of time, but for now, I’m going to enjoy every second with him as if it’s my last.
Louis leans forward, touching his mouth to mine, then rests his forehead against my own. He inhales a deep breath, letting it out on a sigh. “Can’t believe I found someone like you.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper aloud.
He snorts. “Other way around, baby. Let’s get out of the tub and I’ll show you just how fucking grateful I am to have you.”
An hour later, we’re both panting, having shown one another just how grateful we are to be in each other’s lives. Louis wraps me in his arms, pulling my back against his front as he slips his thigh between mine.
“Gary won’t say shit to the media, Tullie.”
Biting the corner of my bottom lip, I let out a hum. “I wouldn’t care if he did. This fight isn’t about me. Nothing is about me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he rasps against the back of my neck. “Everything is about you, Tullie, because you’re everything to me.”
Without another word, we both fall asleep. What feels like seconds later, I hear a noise. It sounds like a wounded animal. My eyes pop open and I look to Louis’ side of the bed, but he isn’t there.
I hear the noise again, coming from the corner of the room. Blinking a few times, I allow my eyes to adjust as I sit up in bed. Focusing on the corner of the room, my mouth falls open in surprise and I let out a hiss as the moaning starts again.
It’s Louis. He’s sitting naked in the corner, his back to the wall and I watch as he rocks back and forth, the low moaning erupting from him again.
Slowly, I sink to my knees and as calmly as possible, my heart pounding against the ribs in my chest, I crawl toward him. I call out his name the closer that I get, hoping to wake him up before I reach him, but I don’t.
Sitting back on my knees and ass, I reach forward as I call out his name a bit louder. Before I can touch his skin, he wraps his hand around my wrist. His eyes are open and he’s staring at me, but I can tell by the void look in his green gaze that he’s not really awake.
His grip is strong, firmer than normal and I know that one wrong move and he could break my wrist in a split second.
“Louis, I need you to wake up,” I plead as tears begin to fill my eyes.
He grunts. “I didn’t mean it,” he rasps.
“I know you didn’t, Louie. You need to wake up, please.”
He shakes his head frantically from side to side, then he lifts his other hand and wraps his fingers around the front of my throat. He begins to squeeze and immediately, I inwardly panic. I try to gasp for air, but my supply is slowly being cut off.
Louis shakes me by the neck, his eyes never leaving my own. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t fucking mean it,” he screams.
I attempt to gasp for breath one more time before everything goes dark.
LOUIS
My entire body jolts when a gasping noise wakes me up from my sleep. Frowning, I realize that I’m on the floor, my naked ass is on the carpet, my back against the corner of two walls. Looking down, my stomach twists at the sight in front of me.
It’s Tulip.
She’s lying lifeless in the middle of the floor. Rising to my knees, I hover over her. Pinching my eyes closed, I reach for her neck and press two fingers to the side, looking for her pulse. I let out a breath of relief when I feel it, slowly beating.
Without a word, I slide my arms beneath her, cradling her to my chest and stand to my feet. Carrying her over to the bed, I slowly lower her onto the mattress. She lays there completely lifeless. I debate calling an ambulance, I shouldn’t debate it at all, but it looks really fucking bad.
Grabbing my cellphone, I call down to Aaron. He’s had tons of medical training through the years and if anyone in this house can help me, it will be him.
“What?” he barks, sounding like the old codger that he is.
Clearing my throat, I try not to scream at the top of my lungs into the phone. “I was dreaming, I think. She was just lying on the floor. I checked her pulse, it’s there, but it’s really fucking slow,” I ramble.
He ends the call without saying a word. I toss my phone on the bed and continue to pace. My gaze never leaves Tulip’s body. I can’t take my eyes off of her. I watch her chest rise and fall as she breathes, that gives me some comfort, but not enough.
The door bursts open and Aaron is standing there, his eyes traveling from me to Tulip and then back to me.
“Put some fuckin’ pants on,” he snaps.
My body jerks and I watch as he hurries over to Tulip’s side. He sinks down and puts a bag on the bed. Turning into the closet, I grab a pair of sweats and pull them up my legs to cover my lower half.
Then, I reach for a robe that’s hanging on the back of my closet door. It’s mine, bought by the woman who helped outfit my wardrobe. I’ve never once used it, never had the need. Making my way back to the bed, I clear my throat.
Aaron doesn’t move, he’s checking her out and then he turns his head to look up at me. “It was better she was naked, I didn’t have to fight with her clothes. I think she’s going to be okay. We’ll have to wait and see when she wakes up. If she’s still out after an hour, then we’ll have to get her to a hospital so that they can assess her.”
I drape the robe over her nakedness and fight back the fucking tears at the thought of hurting her.
“I was asleep. I haven’t had a dream in weeks. Since she’s been beside me. I thought I was done with all that shit,” I murmur.
Aaron lifts his hand, wrapping it around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. “A woman won’t make that go away. It will never completely disappear, Louis. I’m sure watching that news report didn’t help, either and probably triggered this episode. All we can do is wait, this isn’t your fault, you were asleep.”
“She trusts me, Aaron. She trusts me to keep her safe at night and I betrayed that.”
Aaron shakes his head. “She trusts you, Louis. That’s a wonderful thing. This was nothing more than an accident. You can’t let it eat you up.”
“What do I do?”
He shrugs. “None of my marriages ever worked out, probably because I never knew what to do, so I won’t give you advice on that. What I can tell you is that she isn’t going to leave you because of this. This was nothing more than an accident.”
I grunt, just as I hear a raspy noise behind me. Turning around, my eyes widen as they crash with Tulip’s gorgeous blue ones. Hurrying to her side, I sink down next to her on the bed.
“Baby,” I choke.
“Not your fault. I tried to wake you up by shouting. I went to you, knowing you were having a nightmare of some kind. I shouldn’t have gotten that close,” she whispers.
Shaking my head, I reach out and cup her cheek in my palm, avoiding her already reddening neck.
“This was all on me, Tullie. I thought they were gone, they’re not.”
I feel her fingers wrap around my wrist and she holds onto m
e, her eyes watering as she focuses on mine. “Don’t leave me over this, please,” she begs.
Lowering my head, I touch my mouth to hers. “Never, but we may need to rethink our sleeping arrangements.”
“Never,” she breathes against my lips.
Chapter Twenty-Two
TULIP
Louis doesn’t sleep the rest of the evening, in fact, he won’t even lie down next to me in bed, no matter how many times I beg him. Instead, he watches me, as if he’s holding a vigil at my bedside. My throat is sore and I know that my voice will be raspy in the morning, but I’m okay.
Rolling over on to my side, I reach out and wrap my fingers around his wrist, then shift my hand down to lace my fingers with his. Squeezing, I clear my throat, lifting my gaze to meet his downcast one.
“I’m okay,” I finally whisper.
He shakes his head, his eye shifting to the floor, focusing there and not moving. I don’t think that he’s going to say anything, but then he inhales a deep breath before he speaks.
“I could have killed you. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t.”
“But you didn’t. You couldn’t.”
Louis’ eyes lift to meet mine. “I wasn’t myself. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I was stuck inside of a dream, so yeah, I could hurt you, Tullie, and next time I probably will. I’ll never be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope with what happened earlier.”
Pushing up on my side, I swing my legs around to hang over the edge of the bed and silently slide onto the floor. Reaching out, I wrap my fingers around his forearms and squeeze before l glide my hands up his arms and find his neck.
His eyes never leave mine and the sadness swimming in them, the guilt, it makes my entire body ache at the sight. Shaking my head, I slide my thumb along his bottom lip, tracing his warm mouth.
Louis’ lips turn up into a very sad small smile as his eyes search my own. I know that he’s looking for something in my gaze, maybe anger, maybe something else, but he’s not going to get it.
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