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The Letters of Sylvia Plath Vol 2

Page 34

by Sylvia Plath


  We did our Ouija board for the first time in America & it was magnificent fun: responsive, humorous & very helpful. It seems to have grown up & claims it is quite happy in America, that it likes “life in freedom”, that it uses its freedom for “making poems”, that poetry is made better by “practise”. Thinking we might make use of it, we asked him (Pan, is his signature) for poem subjects (this is always the problem: a good poem needs a good “deep” subject). Pan told me to write about “Lorelei”. When asked “Why the lorelei, he said they were my “own kin”!* I was quite amazed. This had never occurred to me consciously as a subject & it seemed a good one: the Germanic legend background, the water-images, the death-wish, and so on. So the next day I began a poem about them,* & Pan was right, it is one of my favorites. What is that lovely song you used to play on the piano & sing to us about the Lorelei? I can’t spell the German, but it begins “Ich weiss nicht was soll es bedeuten . . .”* or something to that effect. I hope Warren will be agreeable to exchanging a dinner at our place about once a week for an hour or two of German reading out loud. I am painfully beginning to review my German again by reading one by one the Grimm’s fairytales in that handsome book you gave me (which I just love)* and making vocabulary lists from each tale, trying to review one grammar lesson a day. I suppose as one grows older one has a desire to learn all about one’s roots, family & country. I feel extremely moved my memories of my German background, & Austrian, and also my ocean-childhood, which is probably the foundation of my consciousness.

  Do go to the newstands when you shop & pick up a copy of the July Jack & Jill---you might get the Aldriches a copy. Ted’s story “Billy Hook And The Three Souvenirs” is in this issue and, I think, charmingly illustrated.

  The ouija-board also told Ted to write about “Otters”,* so he is doing so, & the beginnings sound quite good. Pan claims his family god, “kolossus”, tells him much of his information.

  Ted & I took a drive in the country last week & saw a strange grey clumpish animal snuffing in the road; it waddled into the brush before we could tell what it was, rather like a grey raccoon or some badgerish rodent. Then we climbed Mount Holyoke again this Monday & saw a duplicate of the same animal just ahead of us. We ran & cornered it so we could look at it closely & the poor thing was petrified & clattered its long yellow teeth from the ferns, apparently its one defence (Ted said it would bite). It was a dear grey whiskered animal & we’re convinced it was a groundhog (or woodchuck) as its stout waddly build, small round ears, clawed stumpy legs & rodent face look exactly like the dictionary picture of one. I wrote a little poem about it.* My book of poems is progressing quite well. I am rejecting every poem I am dubious about & making it a strong collection, I think. I have over 30 I am sure of & want to get 50 for the total. Did I tell you I’ve called it “Full Fathom Five”. I do hope a publisher likes that title.

  Well, that’s all the news for now. Try to get to the Aldriches next week & call again. I get up about 7 each morning now as it’s cooler & I must feed the little black bird.

  Ted also sends love,

  Sylvia

 

  PS: How much did the cleaning of our woolens come to?

  TO Warren Plath

  Wednesday 9 July 1958

  TLS (photocopy), Indiana University

  Wednesday, July 9, 1958

  Dear Warren,

  It was good to get your letter. Ted & I would like very much to meet you on August 24th, Sunday, at your ship.* Patsy has moved out of New York, so we won’t have anyone to stay with & would have to drive down & back the same day. Perhaps you can advise us about where to look for parking places, what time you’ll be coming in, what dock, ship, and whether it would be shorter to come to NYC from Northampton or Wellesley. We’ve never driven before down there.

  Mother says youre going to Scandinavia: wonderful. When and where? Do the German girls compare with American? I am all for foreign relations: it is extremely pleasant to have extended my own affiliations & to feel I have also a permanent home in England, especially in such a beautiful moor-top place.

  My New Yorker check came today for the two poems: even more than I expected at my most optimistic calculations: $377 ($239 for Mussel-Hunter and $138 for the other, Night Walk). Together with my sonnet for the LHJournal that makes a tidy sum of $517. For three poems, I feel this princely. In the last year, with royalties for Ted’s book included, we have earned over $2,000, by writing alone. Of course, such windfalls as these are rare, but there is a pleasant steady piling up in our poetry account: we have a special bank-account set aside for writing so we can see at a glance how much we’ve earned: it is “magic money” & we feel we don’t ever want to spend it. I am becoming extremely interested in money-managing, now that I have some to manage, & notice an amazingly radical change in me from my extravagant collegiate self. I’ve bought no new clothes since I’ve been married except some shoes & summer jerseys & feel most miserly: every small sum I think of in terms of a week’s food, or a month’s rent, & as we need to be frugal if we don’t happen to get a grant this year, this niggard quality is all good to me.

  I look around me in horror when I think of moving: heaven knows how we accumulated all those objects & weights which surround us and must be transported. Luckily our 6th floor apartment has a little elevator. We are scheduled to move out of here August 31st and into there Sept. 1st, but must make many trips. I haven’t been out in the sun at all this summer---the first time in my life I’m not tan, but have been working hard at poems for my book: I’ve discarded all that I wrote before two years ago & am tempted to publish a book of juvenalia under a psuedonym as about 20 published poems have been ditched. I hope to get my poetry book together in early September or October & send it the round of publishers this winter. It should be a good collection. I feel I’ve got rid of most of my old rigidity & glassy glossiness & am well on the way to writing about the real world, its animals people & scenery.

  Ted & I are recovering from a sad & traumatic experience. We picked up a baby bird that looked in its last death throes, fallen from a tree, & brought it home. We had it for a week, feeding it raw ground steak, worms, milk (probably a very bad diet) and got enormously fond of the plucky little thing which looked like a baby starling, with funny furry eyebrows. But when it ran, it fell, & looked to be badly injured. Its leg stiffened then (its pelvis must have been broken, or something) & it sickened, choking & pathetically chirping. We couldn’t sleep or write for days, nursing it & hunting vainly for worms, identifying with it until it became gruesome. Finally, we figured it would be mercy to put it out of its misery, so we gassed it in a little box. It went to sleep very quietly. But it was a shattering experience. Such a plucky little bit of bird. I can’t forget it.

  I maybe mentioned this before, but I hope perhaps this year we can exchange dinner at our place for a bit of German reading aloud once every week or two: I am painstakingly beginning to review my grammar & working on translating my Grimm’s fairytales but would be most grateful for work in reading & pronunciation. Would you be willing? I’d like anything you could get of Kafka’s. I already have German-English editions of Rilke’s Sonnets to Orpheus & Duino Elegies:* is there anything else of his? I know little about German writers, & would be grateful for your advice. As for memories of Europe, if you could without convenience pick up a good bottle of brandy or something equivalent, we’d love it. Ted & I don’t drink cocktails but we do like a good after-dinner brandy. Or dinner wine. We are now drinking cold beer---I never used to like it but find it very refreshing.

  Ted just sold 5 poems to The Spectator* in England: won’t amount to more than $45, but good to get him read. Also, he’s had a very nice admiring letter form the Buffalo NY University library* which has the best collection of poets’ work-sheets & manuscripts in the world asking Ted to contribute some of his (for charity, but they got Auden, Thomas, etc. this way). Ted’s second book is going to be magnificently better than the first. Already he has
about 28 poem for it, 17 out of those already accepted for publication. He only needs about 15 more . . .

  I have been slowly recovering from my long winter longeurs due to pneumonia and my flu in spring, plus a killing last two months of hard work. It is heavenly to think that just now, as I again feel stronger & rid of my pneumonia blues, I won’t have to stop writing & start a new school year but can keep on with what I really want to do & for the first time apprentice myself to my trade.

  Do keep me posted about news, new addresses. Ted sends love.

  So do I –

  xxx

  Sivvy

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Thursday 10 July 1958

  TLS on Department of English, Smith College letterhead, Indiana University

  Thursday: July 10

  Dear mother,

  I’m just enclosing a copy of the lease to our apartment before we sign it wondering if you’d mind looking it over & seeing if there are any hitches we mightn’t have run across. It seems very grim to me, all the rights on the side of the agents: is it true that we’d have to repair plumbing & wiring if it was defective? I want to write them & make sure the refrigerator & stove are in good working order. Also they told us utilities were included in rent, but it seems by this that we should have to pay light & gas, another point we will write them about. Maybe you could just look this over & see if it’s normal enough a lease, or suggest anything else we should write them about if you caught something.

  I’ve told Warren we’ll probably come pick him up in NYC if his ship doesn’t come in at six in the morning. Maybe he’d be willing sometime to help us move some of our accumulated goods to Boston.

  My New Yorker check came for the two poems: the handsome sum of $377. A good bit more than I expected. About 4½ months’ food or over 3 months’ Boston rent, however one looks at it. Ted just had 5 poems accepted in England by the Spectator: it won’t mean more than about $45, but pleasant also: now 16 poems are accepted in the 2nd book already. The money in our exclusive poetry bank account has risen from 0 last Sept. to a plump $1,800 or $2,000 if we count Ted’s British royalties. Ted has also been asked by an admiring curator of the Buffalo U. Poetry Collection for work sheets of his poems: no pay, but they have sheets from Auden, Thomas, etc. We climbed Mount Holyoke again today: strenuous but good exercise: a clear, cool sunny day.

  Much love,

  Sivvy

  PS: I am delighted to hear about the Kokoschka:* I’ve admired the slides of his work very much this year in my modern art course: he is certainly fine.

  Do look up Ted’s Story in Jack & Jill.

  S

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Saturday 19 July 1958

  TLS with envelope, Indiana University

  Saturday, July 19

  Dearest mother,

  The fan arrived yesterday a few hours after your letter. A day, as you may imagine, of frosty cold air. Today also is cloudy and windy and not humid. Perhaps the fan will cow the summer into coolness. Ted immediately insisted that the room was stuffy, so we tried the fan this way and that, enjoying the breeze. It is quite wonderful and should annihilate any sluggishness due to heat here and in Boston. A welcome addition to our family: thank you so much. Only 2 screws and one bolt, or nut (hexagonal with a hole through the middle) came with it, and no directions. I have a feeling we should have more screws, though I don’t know what for. Should we? I imagine it works best in the window, but we have it propped now on the floor, where it stands of its own accord, & we can tilt it anyway we want. Highly satisfactory.

  Could you, through your Boston University discount place, get me two books for Ted’s birthday? I wouldn’t want you to get them unless you could get them at a discount & tell me how much they are, otherwise I can get them here at regular cost. They are “The Sea Around Us” by Rachel Carson (we’ve read it, but Ted would like to own it) and the book of poems “Lord Weary’s Castle” by Robert Lowell,* c. about 1946, Harcourt Brace. This last is the most important. If you are able to get them, could you have them sent here to me? I’ll write in them & birthday-wrap them.

  Mail has been sparse & dull, for the most part. All the editors seem to be on vacation. Thank you specially for seeing about the apartment: this puts my mind much at ease. We seem to have collected an immense amount of luggage in our trips to and from home & maybe we can leave some things in our room at Wellesley: I’ll have to educate myself into a miniscule kitchen after this elegant one.

  I won’t be able to call that woman, Mrs. Jacobs, from here before she goes, & would prefer not to use any more long-distance wire. Could you possible call her from Wellesley or BU & ask what she wants for the couch cover & the bedroom curtains? She bought the couch cover & curtains from the girls who live there before her, & I hope she doesn’t try to make any profit on them.

  Your course of business machines sounds noble & time consuming. I hope it will indeed free you for this coming year & let you have extracurricular activities.

  I am finding it rather difficult to adjust to this sudden having-nothingto-do. I realize that this is the first year of my life I haven’t “gone to school” & thus haven’t an imposed purpose to give direction to my days. My prose is quite painful & awkward to begin with, as my poetry is much more practised & advanced: I haven’t written a proper story for several years & work each morning a few hours on exercises in description. I have always expected immediate success & am gradually inuring myself to slow progress & careful practise. I think I will need a part-time job in Boston to give my life a kind of external solidity and balance. I hope I can slowly & painstakingly develop writing as a part-time vocation, because I think I need a sense of purpose beyond cooking and cleaning house, and there is no other career I can feel really useful in and drawn toward that would combine with children. I feel the change to Boston will do me good, as the only people I run into here are left-over teachers from Smith. I will enjoy walking about the streets with Ted, observing people, feeling anonymous, & learning the highroads and back alleys. Also, I hope to renew & extend friendships: with Patsy, Marcia, the Lowells* etc. I miss having any girl-friends to talk to & exchange gossip & advice with. I guess already Im in that in-between state of emotionally moving, but not actually having moved yet.

  Do write soon, or call.

  Much love,

  Sivvy

  TO Aurelia Schober Plath

  Friday 1 August 1958

  TLS with envelope, Indiana University

 

  Date August 1, 1958To MummyFrom SivvyIn re Odds & Ends

  A beautiful day, our first back. Mail dull, on the whole, Editor Weeks still sitting out the half year on our manuscripts and not a word. I got a note this morning that Poetry (Chicago) are buying 3 of my poems: alas, they are 3 I have recently decided to leave out of my book, but I am not sorry to have them published for about $44---I added up the lines right away: two more weeks groceries. Ted has finally got the bank’s notary public to sign his December royalties from Faber’s, over $200 which he will leave in his British bank to welcome us when we return to England. It is so complicated, with all this dual tax business & exemptions. I have thought much, & wouldn’t have Ted change his citizenship for the world. It is part of his identity, I feel, and will always be so.

  I hope we didn’t worry you about seeing Dr. Brownlee.* We simply wanted to get a total physical check-up (including the X-ray at the Deaconness) to see if I’d weathered pneumonia all right & wasn’t anemic, as I’d been very tired & running a slight fever. I’m fine now, and all the tests show I’m in the best of health. Ironically, we didn’t want to concern you, & probably you were more concerned hearing we went to the doctor from the busybody dentist.

  I’ve thought very carefully about that Stenotype folder. I wouldn’t want to learn just to get a job, as I don’t want to be a conventional regular secretary. If I could be sure there would be a chance of getting in on part-time work, o
r even more, in the Boston courts, which interests me in itself, I would be interested in learning. But, as you can see, I want to have the jobs ahead of me to work for by learning, not to get through learning & “then see about work.” I would also only be interested in learning how to Stenotype if I could learn very quickly & start work this winter so it would do me some good. Thus I’d be interested in hearing about the hours, practice time & span of learning needed for the daily course. Perhaps you could find out these things for me. I would enjoy having a practical skill that would take me into jobs “above average” or “queer”, not just business routine. My appearance & education should help me if I had the practical skill. But if I should get this Saxton grant for writing, I would have to give up the idea: I probably won’t get the grant (which would pay for 10 months writing), & thus would like to have the facts about Stenotyping lined up. How heavy is the machine? Is the roll of tape expensive? I particularly want to know if I could get into court reporting. That’s what I’d like to work for: would I need any other kind of experience? Would I be hired over people with shorthand? Could you investigate this? Those two main things: how long to learn the fastest way? Could I get into court reporting? and other jobs equivalently interesting?

  We enjoyed our stay at home, & seeing Ruthie’s adorable babies.* We both feel in the best of health and are looking so forward to the Cape in two weeks. We’ll probably drive down the 18th or 19th at the latest.

  Much love,

  Sivvy

  TO Howard Moss

  Friday 1 August 1958

  TLS, New York Public Library

  Apartment 3 rear

  337 Elm Street

  Northampton, Mass.

  August 1, 1958

  Mr. Howard Moss

  THE NEW YORKER

  25 West 43rd Street

 

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