Midnight Special

by Daya Daniels

  “She’s gone, Ty.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked attempting to move.

  “She’s gone. She’s not good for you, Ty. Please don’t try to move just yet,” Diana rattled out. “Do you remember what happened?”

  I looked around the sterile, white room, recalling the events of the morning that seemed forever ago.

  “Yes.”

  “The police will want to speak to you.”

  “Where did Madison go?” I asked, certain a scowl was painted across my face.

  Diana shook her head. “I asked her not to come here. Eventually, she agreed.”

  I shot up from the bed, feeling rage course through me.

  “Ty, please,” Diana said stepping forward to keep me still.

  “I want to see her!”

  “Ty, she doesn’t want to see you.”

  “What?”

  “Yes, she called me a few weeks ago. We talked. I apologized for some awful things I said to her when this first happened.” Diana sighed. “Madison packed up your things and dropped them to Gillian. Your Aston Martin is back in the garage at Market Street.”

  I gave my mother an incredulous look. “What the fuck?” I whispered.

  “Patrick gave me this to give you for when you woke up,” Diana said slipping a small envelope in my hands.

  “Do you want me to read it to you?”

  “No,” I said, snatching it out of her hands. “I don’t understand.”

  “Ty, please, you will understand. I will give you a few minutes. I’m going to get the doctor.”

  I took another long breath, watching my mother leave the room.

  It was almost as though I’d woken from a long, intense dream. My chest was heavy and bruised and my throat hurt. In the dream, all I could see was Madison. She talked to me and made me laugh. I felt her touch. I inhaled the peach scent of her soft skin. Madison was in the dream with me, every day and all I wanted to do was get back to her.

  I wanted to get out of this place and go home—to Madison and the children. I didn’t want to fucking be here. I ripped the envelope, opening the folded paper that had Madison’s handwriting scribbled across the front of it.

  Dear Ty,

  I miss you and I know, I always will miss you. Diana won’t let me see you. All I wanted was to touch you, to kiss you, and to tell you that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Diana said some horrible things to me but when I thought about what she’d said, they were all true.

  A man like you and a woman like me, don’t belong together. You can do better than to live with and accept all the baggage and bullshit that I bring into your life. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for everything.

  You’ve given me everything a woman could have ever wanted. Love, security, safety—everything I never had, and I am eternally grateful for you. I know I can never repay you or make all of it up to you but thank you. I thank God every day that you exist in the world. You’re a good person, Ty. Please don’t ever change.

  Dominic nearly killed you because of me and I’ll spend the rest of my life feeling incredibly fucking guilty about that.

  The right thing for me to do now to show you how much I do love you, is to let you go. I’ve learned that sometimes love is just not enough.

  I’m truly sorry.

  Love always, Mads.

  xoxo

  I shredded the paper furiously and tossed it all up into the air, wiping the wetness from my face. I was angry. In fact, I was seething. I listened to the incessant beat from the monitor next to my bed when my heart rate picked up. I was ready to rip every single plug out of the wall and walk out of this place.

  What kind of woman breaks up with her boyfriend when he’s in a fucking coma?

  Madison

  It was Saturday morning. I had a small group of girls that gathered together in the morning in their pink tutus and ballet slippers. They reminded me so much of myself when I was younger.

  I walked along the line, checking them over, adjusting postures wherever I saw fit.

  “Good posture makes perfection,” I said aloud and then they repeated after me. “First position,” I instructed, watching them uniformly adjust their little arms and legs. “Hold it.” I paused. “Now, second position,” I instructed, as they widened their legs and extended their arms. “Third position,” I commanded moving into the position myself as they watched me.

  Anna in front giggled, nearly falling out of her pose.

  “What’s so funny, Anna?” I scolded.

  “Nothing,” she said, making a straight face again.

  “Fourth position, girls!

  “Hold it.

  “Now, fifth position,” I said as the group inverted their feet and raised their arms above their heads.

  “Okay, now relax.”

  “Ms. Marks, why do we have to do this?” Anna asked in a whine.

  “If you don’t learn the basics, Anna, then you won’t understand the rest.”

  “Okay,” she said, slumping her shoulders.

  I tapped her on the nose, forcing her to stand straight. “Good posture makes perfection,” Anna said in a bored tone.

  “And I tell you that because...”

  “Because you don’t want me to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

  “Exactly.” I gave her a huge grin.

  After a few more minutes the lesson was over. When the studio was empty again, I used it to stretch and work on my flexibility. I turned on some music and danced. I glided across the wooden floors, emptying my head of all worrying thoughts.

  I listened to Iko sing Heart of Stone while I moved across the floor to choreography that I made up as I went along. I sank into the beautiful melody of the piano and the soothing voice. Shutting my eyes, I moved to the music.

  When the song finished, I dropped my head, wiping my tears. I loved Ty and he was all I could think about. Ramona told me he was back at his apartment on Market Street but I didn’t have the courage to go there. He would probably strangle me.

  I promised the kids I would take them to McDonald’s tonight with Nora. It’s what Ty and I would do with them on Fridays after school. I didn’t know what I would do over these next few months. Everyone had been so happy, including me. Things were better now but they still weren’t the same. All of us were sad at Ty’s absence, especially Kacey and Carter.

  Standing, I walked towards the mirror, looking at my eyes that seemed devoid of something. It was almost as if the past few months had done something to me. How could you be so happy one moment and then feel quite the opposite the next? It was all so unfair. I grabbed my keys and shut off the lights to the studio, closing the door quietly behind me.

  Madison

  “I don’t want chicken nuggets,” Kacey whined.

  I let out a loud exhale, tempering the frustration I was beginning to feel with her recent tantrums.

  “Kacey, calm down,” Nora chided, putting her in the seat and strapping her in.

  I spun around in the driver’s seat just as Mason knocked over his entire jumbo container of Coke soda.

  “Oh my God,” I said stepping out of the car.

  “Mason, what the fuck are you doing?” Dylan shouted.

  “Dylan stop fucking swearing!” I yelled.

  We’d gone to the drive-thru to pick up food and were now standing in the parking lot just off I-95, looking like a deranged version of the Brady Bunch.

  “Well, you’re doing it, Mom,” Dylan mumbled, getting in the back seat.

  “Dylan, just shut up and get in the car!”

  “Madison, please relax.” Nora placed a hand on my shoulder.

  I massaged my temples with my fingers, just when Kacey began to cry for God only knew what reason. It was chilly outside but for some reason, I was sweating like a pig. I swore that the heat coming from my ears was visible and my temperature had to be near two hundred degrees.

  “Mason, stop!” Sam yelled.

  “Guys, come on. We just nee
d to get everyone in and organized. Mason, I can get you another soda,” Nora said trying to settle everyone.

  I leaned against the side door, enjoying the feeling of the cool metal against my hot back and began to cry into my hands. I knew that my reason for crying had nothing to do with the children or McDonald’s or with Mason knocking over a freakin’ soda. We were all on edge—every single one of us.

  “I just want to go home,” Dylan grumbled, slamming his door.

  “Well you know what, I want to go home too, Dylan!”

  “Mommy, I don’t want any of this!” Kacey cried.

  “Then don’t eat it, Kacey,” I snapped hopping into the driver’s seat.

  “Kacey, you’re going to starve,” Carter said softly, putting a few French fries in his mouth.

  Nora sighed and then got back in the car, holding the extra soda.

  I wiped my tears and started the engine, putting the air conditioning on blast, hoping it would help to break up the tension in the air. It seemed like none of us could fucking breathe. I personally was suffocating without Ty.

  Madison

  Taking a long gulp of wine, I set my glass back down on the edge of the kitchen counter, reaching for the bottle again.

  “You haven’t called him?” Zita asked.

  “No.”

  “Well maybe you should, Madison.”

  “I can’t,” I whined, feeling the intoxicating effects of the alcohol seeping into my blood.

  Zita took a long sip, giving me that look her eyes cast on me when she feels sorry for me but she doesn’t say so.

  “Please don’t do that,” I said turning away from her.

  Zita stepped forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Madison, I know you well and you’re not handling any of this properly. I just don’t understand why your solution to all of this is letting him go. You don’t let go of who you love, Madison.”

  I sniffled, wiping my tears.

  “I don’t fit into Ty’s life, Zita.”

  “Maybe, but he fits into yours. I haven’t seen you as happy as you’ve been in the last few months ever. The kids have been happy too.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “This is what Dominic wanted. He wanted for all of you to be miserable, with or without him. He’s sick because he didn’t want to be with you, so if someone else did, then I don’t understand why he would even fucking care,” Zita said angrily. “Dominic needs psychological help.”

  “She called me trailer park trash.”

  Zita huffed. “Madison, you didn’t grow up in a trailer park. Your parents live in Overlook. And so what if you did! You don’t live in one now. You live in this beautiful house that a man who loves you bought, just for you! This is crazy!

  “I know some of these things make sense to you, Madison, but they don’t make much sense to me. You’re throwing away your happiness because of some monster-in-law,” Zita scoffed. “They’re a dime a dozen.”

  I laughed.

  “I’ve known Brian most of my life and his mother still doesn’t like me. It wouldn’t make a difference if I was a doctor or a street walker. She. Still. Wouldn’t. Like. Me.”

  “She called me messy, Zita. I know that, but it’s only okay when I say it. When Diana said it, it bothered me. I am messy.”

  “Madison, life is messy. Diana’s life is messy too. She just happens to be rich!”

  I covered my face with my hands.

  “Not allowing you to see Ty when he needed you the most was just wrong,” Zita said. “If I were here, I would have marched in Thomas Jefferson University Hospital and punched Diana Westwood right in the fucking face.”

  I snorted back a laugh that mixed in with my tears.

  “Don’t let her bully you, Madison, and that’s exactly what she’s doing.

  “I love you, Madison, and I won’t let you do this to yourself. You always think you deserve the short end of the stick, because that’s what you’ve allowed yourself to end up with, but not this time, Madison. You deserve better, Madison—the same as everyone else that wants more out of life.”

  Zita cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to nod with her.

  “I love you,” I said when she hugged me.

  “Imagine what Ty is thinking, Madison. You gave a letter to his best friend/cousin when he was in a medically-induced coma and you haven’t tried to reach out to him since.”

  “I know he’s angry at me.”

  Zita hummed and rocked with me while I poured more wine into my glass.

  “Maybe he even thinks it’s better this way. I don’t know.”

  “I doubt that. Ty loves you, Madison, and I know you love him.”

  “I do.”

  “Don’t let it slip away, Madison. I don’t want to hear about this selfless bullshit act anymore. If you love Ty, then love him. People in love don’t stay away from each other for months on end. You try, Madison.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  Madison

  The next morning, I found myself lingering near Ty’s apartment building like a stalker. I walked around the block twice, wondering if maybe I would see him leave. It would have enabled me to get a good glimpse of him. I just wanted to see him. Then, I debated walking into his building and demanding that security let me up. I only would have looked insane, especially after breaking up with him.

  I’d no clue what I was doing. I knew I was miserable and the weight of guilt I felt was beginning to crush me. After Zita left last night, I thought about doing what she said. I wanted to talk to Ty but what on earth would I say now? Would he even listen to me? Any move I made to get him back, would only make me selfish, regardless of what Zita said. Ty could have any woman he wanted—maybe I should allow him that and not hold him back any longer.

  Last night, I wrapped myself up in a sweater that belonged to him and cried myself to sleep. It seemed to be a common occurrence these days. I would struggle through my day and at night after the kids were in bed, I would crawl into my own and imagine Ty was there with me.

  I had two messages from Diana, the day before, asking if Nora could bring the children by. Diana said she missed Kacey and wanted to see her. It was the weirdest message anyone had ever left me. I was beginning to think that Diana was just as confused and conflicted as me.

  After wandering the street for nearly an hour, I took a seat in a quiet corner of the Starbucks across the street, just staring at the front of Ty’s building. The two of us used to come here all the time for cappuccinos. In the few minutes I sat, Diana came and left twice, carrying bags and a box. She looked happy but still as stressed as she was when I last saw her in the hospital.

  “Madison,” a familiar voice echoed behind me.

  I spun around in my seat to only see Patrick standing there with a paper cup in his hand, eyeing me strangely.

  “Hi,” I said feeling embarrassed.

  Patrick’s eyes flickered between where I sat and the front view of Ty’s building.

  “Hey,” he said slowly. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said forcing a quick smile.

  Patrick stood straight, giving me a suspicious look and then he relaxed again, stepping towards me. He took a seat on the stool next to me. Then we both looked aimlessly out the window in front of us. I sipped my tea slowly, taking light breaths, knowing how this probably looked.

  “I guess you were just in the area,” he said.

  “Yeah,” I whispered.

  He placed a hand on my shoulder and then smiled. “I like you, Madison.”

  “At least I have one fan,” I mumbled.

  He huffed. “I’m sorry things have gone this way.”

  “Yeah, me too.

  “How is he?” I asked, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to fall in my eyes.

  “He’s better but I can’t get him to do much. Ty doesn’t go anywhere. He stays inside most of the day, watching TV and sleeping. I’m considering staging an intervention or something.” Patrick laughed. />
  “I need to make arrangements to give the money back to Ty that he gave me.”

  He blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his thick hair. “Don’t worry about that, Madison. Ty wanted you to have it.”

  “I thought about it and it isn’t right that I keep it. Especially since I still have the house and my car.”

  He placed a hand over mine. “Madison, please keep it. How are the kids?” he asked trying to lighten the mood.

  “Okay,” I said quietly. “But they miss him.”

  He nodded a few times and took a sip from his cup, placing it down.

  “It’s good that Dylan and Jeremy have become close friends.”

  I peered out the glass, taking in the light breeze that rustled the branches on the trees along the street. I jerked forward, narrowing my eyes when I spotted Whitney walking just outside of the building I’d been surveilling, holding a box in her hands. I shifted in my chair, feeling sick to my stomach with jealousy while Patrick followed my eyeline.

  “Don’t worry about her, Madison,” Patrick said. “They won’t let her up and I’m pretty sure Ty has no desire to see her anyway.”

  I wiped the tears from my eyes that fell while Patrick kneaded my shoulder.

  “I’ve never been in this situation before, Madison, so I will be honest and tell you that I don’t know what you or Ty should do. I love him. He’s my best friend. Seeing him in that hospital bed over these past few months, hanging on to his life, was devastating,” Patrick said wiping his eyes and sniffling.

  “But I know it has been for you too.”

  When I lifted my eyes, Whitney headed back down the street. She hadn’t been there for long, so I knew she’d been turned away just like I was all those weeks ago. I was certain Diana had given her the update that Ty and I’d broken up. It was clear that Whitney would never stop trying. She was like one of those dogs that wouldn’t stop trying to hump your leg. Whitney needed to be put down.

  “Maybe go and talk to him,” Patrick suggested with smiling eyes.

  “I can’t,” I whispered.

  He grinned. “He’s just right across the street.”