Heart Strings

by Melanie Moreland

  “Josh died because he was sick. Not because of you. I’m sorry I never told you that. I’m sorry I was never there for you, Lottie. I was so lost in grief, so angry because I was so helpless—unable to save my son, to stop the pain that ripped my wife apart, to ease the heartache in your eyes…” His voice trailed off. “I forgot to be the parent I needed to be, or the husband I should have been. This place—” he waved his hand “—was the one thing I could control, and I poured everything I had into it.”

  For a moment, the room was silent. He stared down at our hands. “I have been such a blind fool. I gave everything I had to this place instead of to your mother and you. Instead of cherishing the family I still had, I mourned what I lost. And now, it’s all gone.”

  “No, Dad. Mom is still with you. She’s trying.” I swallowed. “I’m here.”

  He looked up, and I was shocked at the glimmer of tears in his eyes. “To say goodbye.”

  I shook my head. “To get my things, hand in my keys, and perhaps start a new path for us. Father and daughter. Not boss and employee.”

  “You’ve always been more than that, Lottie. I was always so damn proud of you.”

  “You never told me that.”

  “I know. Another mistake.” He kept his eyes on the floor. “I thought at times, if I loved you too much—you, too, would be taken away from me.” He laughed, the sound bitter. “Except I did that by myself. I drove you away.”

  “No,” I whispered, repeating myself. “I’m here, Dad.”

  He tightened his grip on my hand. “I know your mother talked to you, and you offered her your forgiveness. I’m asking for the same, Lottie. Give me a chance and let me be part of your life. I’ll do anything if you let me try.”

  I was reeling. What I thought was the end with my parents seemed to be the beginning. Could I forgive them and forge a relationship with them? The child in me wanted it—she wanted their love and approval still. The adult was a little leerier, but still hopeful.

  “You need to apologize to Logan. You were horrid to him.”

  “I know. I will meet the boy and talk to him.”

  “He is not a boy.”

  My father chuckled. “He is to me. Just like you’re still my little girl.”

  Those words made me gasp. I hadn’t been his little girl since that awful day in the hospital. He lifted his shoulders in understanding. “You always will be,” he added gently.

  There was a knock on the door, and my father stood, going to the door and speaking quietly with someone on the other side. He returned and sat at his desk.

  “I, ah, have some papers for you to sign.”

  “Of course,” I replied, straightening my shoulders.

  “Our talk isn’t over, Lottie. I thought perhaps you would like to continue it someplace you’re a little more comfortable.” He glanced around. “Someplace you hate less.”

  “I don’t hate the office, Dad. I hated my job,” I replied.

  “Yet you did it so well.” He shook his head. “Would you have hated it less if I had told you that more?”

  I thought about it. “It would have made the days less painful, thinking you noticed my work and appreciated it, but no, Mom was right. This place was Josh’s dream, not mine.” I huffed out a sigh. “I should have been honest and told you that.”

  “I didn’t make that easy, though, did I?”

  “No,” I admitted.

  “Then let’s finish it here today. No more boss and Charlotte.” He looked hopeful. “Maybe we can work on Lottie and Dad—when you’re ready.” He paused. “Maybe Grandpa—if you let me.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “All right. Let’s get you out of here and home.”

  Half an hour later, I sat back down in the office, a small box beside me of the few items I had at my desk, including my little clock. I’d turned in my company cell phone and my keys, grateful that Logan had picked up a new cell phone for me to use. I signed the papers, accepting the check for my holiday time, unused sick days, bonuses, and a severance package my father insisted I take. It was a generous amount, even after taxes.

  “I would do it for another employee, Lottie. You deserve all of it and more.”

  I told him about working with Brianna, and the plans Logan and I had. He listened, actually listened, even offering a few suggestions and saying he would call Brianna to set up a meeting with her.

  “Would Logan be amenable to meeting with me?” he asked.

  “You would have to ask him that.”

  He accepted my response. “If you ask him to call me, I would appreciate it.”

  I wrote down Logan’s number. “Call him yourself.”

  He stared down at the piece of paper. “I will.”

  His phone buzzed, and he picked it up, listening, then spoke. “I’ll be with them in a moment.”

  I stood. “You need to get back to work, Charles.”

  “Dad,” he corrected, startling me. “No more Charles.”

  “Dad,” I repeated.

  “Let me get my car to take you home.”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  He sighed. “Still stubborn. Leave the box, and I’ll drop it off. I don’t want you carrying it on the subway.”

  I agreed to that and stood, slipping on my coat. My father walked me to the door, suddenly nervous again. He stood with his hand on the knob, not opening the door.

  “I’ll miss seeing you around the office, Lottie.”

  “Then we can look forward to seeing each other outside these walls.”

  “You’ll still come to the party, won’t you?” he asked. “You always enjoy it. You, ah, you can bring Logan.”

  “We’d love to.”

  He bent slowly, giving me time to back away, and kissed my cheek. “Let me know you got home safe, please.”

  “I will.”

  He opened the door, meeting my eyes. “Thank you.”

  I could only nod, my emotions too close to the surface to talk anymore. I waved to Lorie and headed to the subway. I felt tired again—drained, but more at peace.

  I could hardly wait to tell Logan. I sent him a fast text telling him I was on the way home, then joined the lineup for the train. I had so much to tell him.

  I heard him before I saw him. The sounds of him strumming his guitar greeted me as I stepped off the train and headed to the stairs. I came around the corner and met his whiskey-colored eyes. He was propped against the wall, the way he always was, his guitar case open, smiling and tilting his chin in acknowledgment as people dropped in coins and bills. But when he saw me, his smile grew wider and he began to sing, his rich voice filling the station. It was one of his older songs, one I had always loved. It was melodic and beautiful, the lyrics poignant, and his voice was perfect for it.

  Smiling, I sat on the bench I always used and listened. I shut my eyes, letting the music flow over me. Any residual stress from the day melted away, and my shoulders relaxed. As the notes faded, I opened my eyes and watched as Logan shut his case, slung it over his shoulder and walked my way.

  Tall, sexy, he walked with confidence. He stopped by the bench and bent low, cupping my face and kissing me. “Hey, Snow Queen.”

  “Hi,” I breathed out.

  He sat, linking our fingers.

  “You’re here.”

  “Where else would I be? This is where we started. I thought you’d need me again.”

  “I’ll always need you.”

  He grinned. “Good thing. I love being needed by you.” He paused. “Things go okay?”

  “Yes.”

  He studied me, brushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “You look tired, but not upset.”

  “My dad sort of surprised me today.”

  “Like your mom?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded. “Amazing how clear things become at times. As scary as it was, you collapsing might have woken them up.”

  “I think maybe the news about Nugget did as well.”

  He sm
iled wide. “Told you. Our kid is magic.”

  “I guess he is.”

  “He?”

  “Or she.”

  He turned, shifting closer, dropping his voice as he placed his hand across my stomach. “How is my nugget?”

  “Hungry.”

  “I think I can help there. How does Nugget feel about a burger?”

  “Extra cheese?”

  “You know it.” He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Diner?”

  “Can I have cake?”

  “You can have anything you want.”

  I squeezed his hand. “I have everything I want right here.”

  He kissed me. Long, slow, lingering, and sweet. “Me too, Snow Queen. Me too.”

  Epilogue

  Logan

  Lottie looked up as I strode into The Java Way, the bell above my head announcing my arrival. She smiled widely and waddled around the counter.

  There was no other word to describe it. Lottie waddled like a duck these days. She was so tiny, she’d looked as if she were well into her second trimester before she’d even finished the first. Now, with only a few weeks to go, she looked as if she were ready to burst. It made me smile every time I saw her.

  I bent down, kissing her upturned mouth. “Hey, ducky.”

  She laughed. Brianna had nicknamed her first, teasing her constantly as she filled out.

  “You’re pregnant from the nose down!”

  Lottie had taken it all in stride, even chuckling at her nickname. She glowed these days, relaxed and peaceful, always smiling.

  I loved her new curves. The subtle fullness of her cheeks. The way her breasts overfilled my hands and the softness of her rounded hips. I especially loved the swell of my son she carried so heavily in front. Safe, protected, and deeply loved.

  The day we found out it was a boy was one of the happiest I had ever known. I had stared at the ultrasound, unable to talk.

  A son. We were having a son. For days, I carried around the picture, showing it to everyone, whether they wanted to see it or not. Lottie had been amused and, I was certain, secretly enjoying my excitement.

  Lottie rolled up on her toes, meeting my mouth. “Hi.”

  My hands went to her stomach. “How’s Nuggetman?”

  “Active. I think he’s playing football.”

  Bobby strolled in behind me, laughing. “I keep telling you, Lottie. He’s going to be a drummer. He’s practicing.”

  “He needs to take a break,” she replied.

  I laughed and rubbed her tummy. “Settle down, little man. Give Mommy a break.”

  Lottie sighed and ran a hand over her neck. She looked tired today. I wanted her to give up coming in, but she loved the coffee shop. The atmosphere and the baking. Talking to people, trying new recipes. Brianna’s vision for the place was working. Business was good—busier all the time as word of mouth spread. Lottie’s cookies, slices, and mini pies were sold out every day. She had two bakers now just to keep up.

  Jo-Jo came from the back, a smile breaking out on her face. “Logan, my boy!”

  I laughed at her nickname, knowing it would forever stick. We had come a long way in the past months, growing closer as the time passed, and I had become incredibly fond of her. I was her boy, and she was simply Jo-Jo.

  When I had arrived with Lottie to the holiday party, I was unsure if I should even be there with her. I was still concerned about her father’s reaction. He had been polite, shook my hand as we walked in, but otherwise was silent. It was her mother who took me by the arm, introducing me as Lottie’s fiancé. She made sure I was comfortable. Sat beside me at dinner, a pleasant distraction from the quiet demeanor of Charles. When I asked her to dance, she had been light on her feet, obviously enjoying the music, and we had taken to the dance floor more than once. She quietly told me that Lottie’s father was more embarrassed at himself than he would admit, and she appreciated the patience I was showing. Her words bolstered me, and I assured her I would continue to try to get along with him.

  For the next few months, Lottie’s father and I were polite with each other, but there was no doubt bad feelings still lingered on both our sides and it would take a while for them to be resolved. We had met a couple of times, the conversation stilted. He offered an awkward apology, and for Lottie’s sake, I accepted it. We were more comfortable when Lottie and Jo-Jo were with us, and slowly, we’d been building a rapport. I often sought out his opinion, which seemed to help him open up more. The last month had been a turning point with us spending a lot of time together, and I hoped we continued in that forward direction. I knew how much it meant to both Lottie and Jo-Jo.

  No one was more shocked than Lottie when her mom asked Brianna if she could help out in the shop. Jo-Jo was a proficient baker and enjoyed coming in and working with Lottie. They had grown closer as the months progressed, and I loved seeing the happiness it brought Lottie. She had attended a few of her mother’s therapy sessions, which seemed to benefit both of them. Lottie had gone to some therapy on her own, and it helped bring her closure to losing Josh. She was far more at ease with the past now and able to move forward without guilt. Jo-Jo tried so hard to be a part of our lives. Exclaiming over ultrasound pictures, dropping by for visits, and bringing Lottie’s favorite meals from when she was a child. Insisting on Thursday night dinners and making plans for when the baby was born. She always requested I make her tea when she visited and never once made a comment over the mug or the sugar I added. She always patted my cheek and smiled, informing me it was the best cup she’d had all week. Her praise made me smile.

  Lottie laughed when she told me how her mom boasted about her dreamy son-in-law to her friends who came into the shop. Went on about being a nana. The nursery was full of gifts from her already—onesies, outfits, tiny socks, coats, and jackets. Stuffed animals. She’d begged to be allowed to buy the furniture, insisting as grandparents, it was their right. I couldn’t refuse since it made her happy, and Lottie was overjoyed. How Charles felt about it, I had no idea. He was happy about being a grandpa, an ultrasound picture proudly displayed on his desk. His face had been filled with wonder when Lottie grabbed his hand and he felt the baby kicking. A tender, wistful expression had crossed his face, and for a moment, I saw the pain he hid. It made it easier to reach out to him.

  And now, it was time to see how Lottie felt about my inclusion of her father in my latest plan.

  I bent, accepting a kiss from Jo-Jo. “Hey,” I greeted her. She was excited, knowing full well what I had up my sleeve.

  Her smile became wider as she spotted Bobby. He grinned and held out his arms.

  “Come to me, Momma J.”

  I had to chuckle, watching her hug him. She fussed over him constantly. Lottie thought it was because he reminded her of Josh. Whatever it was, it was good to see her maternal side out in full force these days with all of us. She’d even warmed up to Brianna, and she adored Trevor. Rex and Gretchen were both welcome additions to her growing circle.

  I smiled at Lottie. “You have time to come with me?”

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  She shook her head. “So mysterious.”

  “You love my surprises.”

  My last one had been our wedding. We’d applied for the license, and once we had it, I couldn’t wait. With Brianna’s and Roxanne’s help, I borrowed the top floor of Ravaged Roadside and threw a party. A wedding party. Our friends, family, my Ravaged family, some other guests, and us. We exchanged vows in the flower-filled room, I had The Koi House supply us with dumplings and all Lottie’s favorite dishes, and after we had our fill, we danced as Bobby sang. I took to the stage and performed a few songs for my bride, then we danced the night away with a great DJ provided by RR. We left the next morning and enjoyed each other for a few private days at a spa up North.

  All Lottie had had to do was pick a dress and show up. When I confessed to what I had done, her eyes had grown round.

  “I don’t wa
nt to wait to marry you,” I explained.

  “But all the details…” She trailed off.

  “Handled. Brianna and your mother are picking you up in the morning to get a dress. That’s all you have to do.”

  “My parents…”

  “I spoke to them. It’s our wedding. Not theirs. I told them to invite whoever they wanted, but I did give them a limit. Thirty people.”

  “I bet that went over well.”

  I shrugged, unconcerned. “Jo-Jo was good with it. Your father can figure it out. I refused his offer to pay for it, although your mother insisted on paying for the flowers and the dress. That’s all I allowed them to do. The rest is my gift to you.” I paused. “As long as you say yes.”

  She smiled, her eyes glowing. “Then, yes.”

  Carmen refused to accept anything for the room, Bobby’s gift to us was himself, the photographer was supplied by RR. I paid The Koi House well for the catering, knowing that it was an unconventional choice, but not caring. Lottie constantly craved Chinese food, so the decision was easy for me and went along with our relaxed vibe. People raved about the food—I even saw Charles going back for more. It was simple and perfect—it was us.

  Lottie had been gorgeous in a knee-length, lacy pink dress. I wore a suit, although I removed the jacket as soon as the vows were done and sported a vest. I didn’t wear a tie, but Lottie was good with that.

  Neither of us had stopped smiling that day. I’d barely stopped smiling since. I had no idea life could be this good.

  I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I had another surprise for Lottie. One I hoped she would love.

  “What are you up to?”

  I held out my hand. “Come and find out.”

  Bobby threw me a wink. “Car’s waiting. I’m gonna feast on cookies, drink my weight in coffee, and hang with my girls.”

  I laughed and helped Lottie slip on her coat. I glanced at her feet, noting the swelling in her ankles. She really needed to listen to me about not working anymore. The baby was due in a few weeks. It was time to relax a little.

  In the car, she was curious. “Logan, where are we going?”