by Lila Felix
But in opposition the words that flowed from her beautiful mouth, she leaned back and wrapped her arms around my stomach and rested her head against my shoulder.
“Worst—day—ever.” She said against my back, I could feel the heat from her mouth on my skin through my shirt.
“Understatement—of—year.”
“Ok, I’m going to bed. You look like Hell Abel, go home, sleep.”
“Ok, goodnight.” I got up to leave and the impending doom crashed down on me and I found myself needing her like I’ve never needed her before.
I turned around as she stood up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen. Our eyes met and I knew that she needed what I was about to give her as much as I needed to take from her. I picked her up and set her on the kitchen counter and without hesitation she let me. Her legs wrapped around my torso and her fingernails scraped against the back of my head, searching desperately for the hair I had to cut off for school regulations. Her tongue moved in my mouth, slowly and deliberately and I never wanted for her to lose this vehement desire for me. I reached for her hips, shifted her closer to the edge of the counter, wanting to meld her body into mine if only for this moment, if only for tonight. We progressively slowed down, open mouths closed, lips and hands calmed. We rested our foreheads together as we caught our breath and she sighed.
“Doesn’t change anything.” She whispered.
“I know.” I breathed back and I forced myself to break away from her. I yearned to see her look at me through loving eyes again. I realized as I stood there the difference between who I was over the summer and who I pretended to be at school. It was ten times harder to be popular, runs with Brett, Abel. It was full of stress. It overflowed with guilt. It felt like shit and it caused me to lose sleep.
I walked out on her, still panting on the counter. Something had to give.
Corinne
I sat there on the counter and let my heart slow down while my brain and my body had a heated argument. I really didn’t want to be that girl. The one who came in and made the guy give up his friends and be—well—whipped. At least I found a way to tell him the truth today, not as fiercely as I wanted to, but it was done. As much as it hurt me and him, it had to be said. And truth be told, my prayer was that he picked me.
I got down from the counter. I swear I would never look at that kitchen again the same again. I locked the backdoor and went to shower and go to bed. While Abel was here, my dad called and said that he and Mom were going to stay overnight wherever they were. I didn’t know if that was a normal thing or not, considering I had never lived with them. And I realized that I didn’t really know anything about my parents.
I lay in the bed that night and as exhausted as I was, couldn’t make myself sleep. I promised Sean I would go see his BMX race the next day. Abel said he would come too but I didn’t know if he would or not.
The smile that sprang to Sean’s face was priceless. The guy just couldn’t be sweeter. Yeah, he was a little on the skinny side but he was really cute and had a set of green eyes that any girl could get lost in. And it was here, at the BMX track that his slender frame favored him. Over every single hill he jumped the highest and he already won three heats. I forced myself to pay attention since none of Sean’s family showed up for these things. It was the least I could do since Sean was probably going to be my lifeline through this thing with Abel.
Plus, paying attention kept me from looking around for Abel to show up—kinda.
It was halfway through the final race that tanned arms folded next to me on the barricade. Turning my head to see whose arms they were wasn’t necessary. A wave of consciousness rippled through me before I even saw him. Sean whizzed by us and a few seconds later, claimed first place. I cheered and jumped for him. He deserved it. Abel smiled at me making a rukus and joined in with me. For a moment we were both just happy for Sean.
We clapped just as loudly through the trophy ceremony and then Sean came down to hug me and fist bump Abel.
“Thanks for coming. I’ve never had anyone in the stands before. And you, girl, you’ve got a set of lungs.” He hugged me again.
“Yeah, you should’ve heard her at the Silent Film concert. At one point I couldn’t hear the singer for her.” I slapped his shoulder and blushed. I had to be strong and not let myself remember that night. That was the night I fell in love with Abel.
I cleared my throat, not willing to let it ruin Sean’s afterglow.
“Dude, I’m taking you for pizza! You’ve got to be starving after all that.”
“I am, thanks.” I could feel Abel’s eyes blazing into my skin but I didn’t say anything. It was his turn to make some moves.
“Abel, you comin?” He looked to Abel and then to me.
Abel cleared his throat and stared at me for a few seconds. But I didn’t know what to say. “Nah man, but thanks. How about pool tomorrow? Cue Ball at three o’clock?”
“Yeah, sounds good.” Abel looked at me once more and then left.
“Why don’t you go with him? You two look miserable.” Sean shrugged as he said it.
“Psshh, no way. I’m buying pizza for the big winner.”
Sean and I ate pizza and laughed until we cried. His Dad called him right as we finished eating and said he had been called in to work. So I rushed Sean home and surprised him when I got out of the car.
“What are you doing?” He said.
“I’m coming in to help out.” I answered with my hands on hips daring him to debate it with me.
“It’s not fun in there Corinne.” It looked like he was ashamed.
I squinted my eyes at him and tried to look fierce.
“Ok, ok, ok, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Sean opened the door and Pandora’s box was officially released. It was complete chaos. There was one little boy with red hair, couldn’t be more than eight years old, running around in his tighty whities with a bag of chocolate marshmallows. His dad came around the corner, dressed in brown coveralls with the name of the local chemical plant on the front. Poor guy, he looked like he was kinda excited to get to work. I didn’t blame him. I got a text but didn’t have a chance to check it. I was chasing the marshmallow man with a pair of Star Wars pajamas.
Two hours later, the Bailey kids were in bed for the most part. Sean’s sister Laney was still up but she was fourteen. She was on her own.
I plopped on the couch, exhausted, and finally checked my text messages while Sean took a shower. I couldn’t imagine having to do this every night. Plus, the house was a wreck. There was still more to do.
Abel: Can I see you?
Me: I’m at Sean’s helping him with the kids.
Abel: I’m on my way.
Sean emerged from his shower and we both stood staring at the mess, not willing to get started yet. The doorbell rang and I knew who it was but hadn’t alerted him.
“Abel, what’s up man?”
I closed my eyes at the sound of Abel’s voice.
“I came to help out. Heard you were in a mess.”
Sean chuckled. “I’m sure you did. But you’re kinda dumb to volunteer.”
Abel walked in and surveyed the damage. Sean closed the door and Abel made a fake attempt to leave. “Let me out, no one said it was this bad.” The boys both laughed as they play fought by the door.
Abel relented and started picking up toys and throwing them all into a laundry basket. Sean passed by me and whispered “Be sweet, he loves you.”
I joined him in the kitchen and we cleaned and put up leftovers until the place was spotless. We returned to the living room and it was clean and Abel was vacuuming. I started giggling at the sight and soon Sean joined in. The big tough guy floated and glided while he cleaned with grace. He finally turned it off and we were still laughing.
“What’s so funny?” He asked.
“You’re—so—domestic.” Sean said between laughing.
“Shut-up, you two,” but he started in with us.
W
e finally got ahold of ourselves and Sean told us to get ourselves home. I walked over to Abel’s passenger side and stopped. I looked at him over the roof of the car and smiled.
“Old habits die hard.” He said, but I didn’t know if he referred to me, here at his car, when mine was a few steps away—or if he referred to his wretched friends.
“I guess they do.” I walked towards my truck, grinding my teeth together in an attempt not to cry again.
“Get in.” I said to him and his shocked expression was priceless. But he quickly recovered and got in the truck.
“Where are we going?” He said as he looked out the window.
“Back to the beginning.” I answered simply.
Abel
She pulled that old ladder out and in an episode of déjà vu, I took it from her and leaned it against the roof. She climbed up first again but this time I didn’t try to be a gentleman. No, I took the opportunity to watch my girl’s hips sway back and forth as she climbed up the rungs. I followed her lead and we lay side by side looking at the black sky. Her breathing changed next to me and our hands met between us. We both held on for dear life.
I tried to think of things that I actually liked about Brett, Ryan, Andrew and Vince. And time after time, I came up with nothing. But next to me was a courageous, gorgeous, life-loving creature and it was hard to come up with something I didn’t like about her. I could find more friends, but next to me was my best friend and I could never replace her. There was no choice to be made.
I turned my head towards her, her tears beckoning me to face the pain I’d inflicted on her head on. After a few minutes of anguish, she finally looked at me. Her chin quivered and caused her lip to follow suit. That was all it took.
I scooted across the roof the one or two feet between us and hovered over her sad beautiful face, my face propped on my elbow. She reached up and held on to my shirt at my shoulder and smiled at me through the tears, burrowed her face against my bicep and then kissed the same spot on my arm where her tears trickled down.
“Sorry,” she whispered. What in the world did she have to be sorry about?
“For what? For pointing out something that I already knew? For calling me on the carpet because I run around with some real assholes? For being the strongest person I know? Please, please don’t be sorry for that. If you can run into that group of guys and call them on their own bullshit then I certainly can.”
“I don’t want you to choose.”
“There’s no choice. You just made me face something that I turned a blind eye to. Something I should’ve taken care of a long time ago.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” She let out an enormous sigh.
“Sean was so excited that you asked him to play pool tomorrow. He doesn’t have any friends except me.”
“He’s a good guy. He’s good to you. And it’s about time I made some new friends.”
“What are they going to do? They’re not going to hurt you, are they?”
“Whatcha gonna do tough girl, take them all out for me?”
I stayed there, tracing and memorizing her face and purposely avoided the question. When I ran one finger down her throat she visibly shuddered and then squinted her eyes at me.
“What?” I said but never stopped.
“You have some kind of neck fetish or something.” She giggled, the girl had probably never said the word ‘fetish’ out loud.
“No, you are mistaken. If I had a neck fetish I would want to kiss every neck I saw, press my lips underneath their jaw lines, run my tongue…”
“Ok, ok, ok, I get it.” Her blush in the moonlight was even better than the daytime.
“I only want to do things like that to your neck. So, maybe I just have a Corinne fetish.”
We stayed up there a while longer, back to some semblance of what we were just days before. I avoided her questions about Brett and the other guys being pissed about the change in our group that would happen on Monday, if not before then. I was positive that they would come after me, with brute force or something more cunning. I’d heard Brett gloat about all of the things he’d done to people over the years. Some of it was downright sick.
I brought her back to Sean’s that night and followed behind her while she drove her truck home. Now that she had gotten in their faces, so to speak, I didn’t trust them not to be at her house, or have one of their girl friends do their dirty work.
I drove home to, of course, an empty house. I called Corinne just to make sure she was ok and she was. I went to bed looking forward to tomorrow being a new day for me and for us.
I bought two Cokes, one for me and one for Sean and saw the group of them underneath the stained glass lamp which swung back and forth above the pool table. All of them except Brett waved or nodded at me. He glared. I ignored him and went back to Sean who was nervous as hell playing next to the same people who gave him a reason to fear school.
“Calm down man, they’re not gonna eat you.” I tried to joke with him but he was white as a sheet.
“I’m fine. Shut up and grab a stick.” He laughed and proceeded to whip my butt at pool.
“So, Abel, where’ve you been man? Where’s your girl?” He put his arm around my shoulders and to anyone looking it probably seemed innocent but the crook of his arm squeezed the hell out of the back of my neck. I shrugged him off and moved away.
“Corinne’s at home. Not that it’s any of your business.” I put my stick on the table and went to dig my keys out of my pocket and headed home.
He chuckled, a sinister, pompous laugh and I tried to ignore it by moving farther away as Sean and I made our way to the door. But I heard him, clear as a bell, as he spoke across the pool hall to me for the last time.
“Oh, I think she made herself my business Abel.”
I brought Sean home and had to pass by her house to make sure she was home. Her car was there but I called just to make sure.
“Hello?” She sounded reserved, like she was trying to hide her happiness to talk to me.
“Hey. I just wanted to make sure you were home safe.” I tried not to sound like an overbearing parent.
“Yeah, just studying and stuff all day. Where’s Sean?”
“I just dropped him off. He’s pretty funny.”
“Mmhmm, he is.”
An awkward silence filled the phone line and I’d never experienced that before with Corinne and I never wanted to again.
“So, what happens tomorrow?” She said, and I found it strange since she was the one dictating what was going on between us of late.
“I told you that I’m done with those guys and the crap they pull. I’m done. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Ok.”
It was odd and off-putting to hang up on her without telling her that I loved her. But I was now afraid to say it after this hell of a weekend, scared I would get no response. I sat there in front of her house for a few minutes, just to make sure everything was clear, and then made my way home. Tomorrow, I would make her see.
Corinne
The phone rang next to my bed and after every ring I drifted back to sleep only to be woken by another ring. I reached over and patted the bedside table, searching for that annoying piece of technology.
“Hello!” I yelled into the phone and pulled the covers back over my head with it attached to my ear.
“Can I take you to school?” I knew who it was.
“If you promise never to call me this early you can take me to school every day.”
“Ok, ok, I will pick you up in thirty minutes.” Usually I was the chipper one in the mornings but I had lost a lot of sleep the past couple of nights.
“Bye!”
I got up and kicked my comforter all the way off of the bed. That was the only way I would be tempted not to burrow back under it and forget that there was a school to get to. Not to mention the constant drama. I sat up, pulling myself completely off of the bed before I let my face break its companionship with my pil
low. I took a cold shower, needing the lower temperature to wake up, and got dressed in a hurry. Uniforms were the best idea that school administration ever had. I didn’t have to think about what I wore every single morning. I just had to follow the rules and pick out shoes. I’m sure a lot of girls hated it but I for one was grateful, especially on mornings like this. I had no time or mental energy for fashion.
I looked at the clock and took a few minutes to make my bed and straighten my mess so Mom didn’t have so much work to do. And yesterday Dad had come into my room and announced, like a drill sergeant, that measures must be taken to consume less energy and water. I wasn’t allowed to ask the whys of the sudden energy consumption issue, just expected to be obedient. So I did the rest of my homework by the sunlight that poured in my window and listened to music by the moonlight when the sun fell.
But there were too many things that didn’t add up. I was expected to live on thrift store clothes but my parents went out almost every night and most times stayed the night, wherever they were. And once, when I went downstairs for a glass of water, I heard Dad grumbling about forty percent of his income was ‘going to extremes’. I wondered who was getting forty percent of his income. But questions and my parents didn’t really get along.
I went downstairs with my backpack in hand and they both sat at the table, both having coffee only. What I wouldn’t give for a Wellsley breakfast right now.
I didn’t bother to say anything to them. It was no use. Outside, Abel waited in his truck and he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of whatever song played on his radio. He wore his ball cap even thought he knew he would have to take it off when we got to school. He was so into whatever song was on that he didn’t even see me coming. He bobbed his head with closed eyes to the music. I walked over to his side of the truck and knocked loudly on it. He screamed, not the manliest scream in the world either, and I doubled over laughing. He rolled down the window and scowled at me.
“Jeez, Corinne, it’s not funny. I nearly…well, I don’t know what I nearly did.”
That made me laugh twice as hard.