Hoax

by Lila Felix

  He paled as the questions poured from my mouth. He didn’t answer immediately so I continued.

  “I also would like to know why we suddenly sold everything. I want to know why years and years of tax records show that you made only a little under fifty thousand dollars a year. Yet every year you paid a full year’s tuition in cash.”

  “How did you find that out?” He asked.

  “Does it matter Dad?” He cracked his knuckles and I thought he would throw up defensive walls and tell me to piss off.

  “Your mother doesn’t know any of this. I bring her to her mother’s house when I travel.” He moved to the edge of the couch. “For years, until you were about six, I made a good living. I got cocky. I invested everything we had in some bogus pharmaceutical company and lost everything. I was desperate.”

  “Make a point James.” I reciprocated his frustrated tone and used his first name to get under his skin.

  “I don’t sell drugs, I don’t do drugs. I simply pick up and deliver, Corinne.”

  “Pick up and deliver what?” I said it through my teeth.

  “Whatever needs to be picked up and delivered.” He shrugged like it was all no big deal.

  “So you paid for my education with drug money. We live off of drug money.” I reached up and kneaded the back of my neck, letting my brain compute everything. “So why the sudden scrimping and saving? And if you only pick up and deliver then how do the people at school know?”

  His shoulders slumped, defeated. “First it was because my…bosses went into hiding, almost got caught. Now it’s because the IRS is auditing us for the last ten years. They take forty percent of my income in payments already. They are investigating me for tax evasion. And the people at school—your mother had a lapse in judgment. She was spending a good deal of time with Mrs. Anderson and apparently let some things slip. It was never my intention for you to have—I never wanted you involved.”

  I leaned back on the couch, hitting my head on the sharp edged back. I can’t believe what an idiot I had been. I hadn’t noticed anything. Then again, I was always at school and busy during the summers. And then something else hit me. I had come down on Abel so hard when I found out that he was friends with Brett. And I was the daughter of—of a drug mule. Brett was right. Here I was on my high horse telling other people how they should live, pointing out their mistakes, while I got a prep school education from the payroll of people who sold pot to kids.

  “What’s gonna happen Dad?” I switched back to Dad because suddenly I felt like a spoiled little rich kid.

  “I hadn’t planned on telling you this for a while. Your mother and I are going to court two weeks from Monday. I…” Some emotion passed on his face but I couldn’t place it.

  “Corinne, I have four hundred thousand dollars in an account with your name on it. It’s all yours when you turn eighteen next month. If something were to happen in two weeks, you are taken care of. My lawyer has all of the information.” He must’ve seen the shock and disgust on my face because he quickly backtracked. “It’s money that your grandfather left us when he died—you were only a baby.”

  “This can’t be happening.” I said, more to myself than to the man in front of me.

  “I’m sorry Corinne.”

  I looked at him—really looked at him. A flicker of regret, shame, and pain passed over his face. Then he fidgeted, as if uncomfortable. He got up and left without another word. I ran to the backdoor and couldn’t get it open fast enough. I shut it gently behind me, not wanting to alert them. I made it past the wood of the deck and barely got myself bent over the ledge before I heaved. I slumped down on the cool wood of the deck and let everything flood through me.

  I don’t know if I fell asleep or simply passed out.

  Some amount of time later, warm arms picked me up and I was moved onto my bed. Blankets were pulled up around me and I heard a voice say, “I love you Corinne. I hope you can forgive me again.” Darkness took me once more.

  I woke the next morning and lay there endlessly. I just needed to wallow in it for the day. But I also needed to call Abel. I knew that I hurt him but I was going to have to get through these next two weeks alone, and maybe some after that. I didn’t want him to have to deal with my drama. And if my parents went to jail? Well, I would be finding a place to live after that. And who wanted a girlfriend with more drama than a soap opera?

  I called and as soon as I heard the tone of his phone ringing my stomach dropped.

  “Hello?” he said.

  “Hey, it’s me.” My voice croaked with the first sentence of the day.

  “Corinne.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you okay?”

  No, I’m not. I’m hurting and angry and I need you. I need to curl into your chest and breathe you in. I want your warmth around me. I want to cry on your shoulder until I’ve got nothing left.

  “Yeah, I talked to my dad. There’s so much drama. He’s—he’s basically a drug mule. He doesn’t sell it but he transports it. And now the IRS is after them and they go to court in two weeks. If they go to jail…”

  “Hey,” he used his smooth, calm, like silk running over my back voice, “It’s ok. You can live with Sean or I can ask my parents about living here. Or the Stephenson’s, they love you…”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you need me? I know you said you needed some time alone but,” It sounded so desperate. I nearly dropped the phone and drove to his house.

  I need you more than you’ll ever know. I want you here. I want you to hold my hand through this and keep me safe. I need my best friend.

  “No, Abel.” I gasped as I said it. I didn’t even believe myself. “I just need some space. There’s going to be a lot of drama around here. And maybe if we stay away from each other, Brett will leave you alone. I just think…”

  “Don’t do this Corinne. Please, don’t do this. I can help you. I can just be there for you.”

  I want you here. I need you here.

  “Abel, I can handle this. I just think we need a break so I can get through all of this. I don’t want you to have to deal with all of the drama.”

  “It’s not drama, honey.”

  Don’t call me Honey. Don’t do it. It will break me.

  “It is. Look, I’m not breaking up with you. I just need time to deal with all this.”

  He exhaled and I heard something bang, like he threw something across the room.

  “At least let Sean help you. At least let him be there for you.”

  But I can’t. I’m too stubborn and too much of a jackass to let anyone help me. I crave you next to me.

  “We’ll see.”

  “I’m going to hang up after I say this because honestly, I’m not sure if the silence or the response will be worse. I’m here Corinne. I’m here waiting for you to realize that helping you, listening to you, sitting in silence with you, holding you while you cry, kissing you until you can’t think straight—I’m honored to be the one who does those things for you. I’m privileged to hear the words ‘I love you’ from your mouth and have them directed at me. But if you don’t need me, then you don’t need me. So this is me telling you that if you find that you do need me, want me, whatever, it’s your turn. Come find me. I love you. And not just today or tomorrow—I will love you always.”

  I opened my mouth to say, something, but it was too late, he was gone.

  “I love you Abel. More than you know.” I said it to a phone call gone dead.

  Abel

  I hung up on her. And as much as I wanted to be straight up hurt? I was also pissed off. We had gone through so much and now when she needed me, she shut me out. The funny thing was, I was the one who knocked on her parents’ door last night to check on her. It was me who found her on the back porch, passed out. I carried her to her bed after her father didn’t even try to do anything other than stand there. I covered her and told her I loved her while her dad stood crossed armed in the hallway. But she didn’t know that and I wasn’t going to use it
as a pawn to sway her.

  I called Sean as soon as I got off of the phone with her. If she wouldn’t accept my help, maybe she would accept his. He agreed and said he would keep me informed. And then he was shocked when I asked him not to.

  “What’s going on Abel?” He sounded worried.

  “Nothing Sean. She just doesn’t want me around. She doesn’t need me. Just be there for her please. She’ll take help from you. She’s just too stubborn to take it from me.”

  “Ok,” he said. I hung up first again.

  Monday morning I got dressed for school in a shit mood and knew it wasn’t going to get any better any time soon. I drove to school and parked in my normal spot. Her truck was already parked in its normal place and she sat on the tail end with Sean. She saw me. I knew she saw me. And I knew I didn’t deserve it, but I had to maintain some crumb of dignity here. I got out of the truck at the sound of the first bell. I passed by them and Sean said ‘Hey Abel.” I waved to both of them and continued on.

  I was stupid to think she ever needed anything from me.

  I went to classes and then to lunch. Instead of confronting the lunchroom theatrics, I took my lunch to the quad outside. I repeated this ritual for weeks. There was also Brett who needed to be taken care of while I waited on her. Waited and wanted.

  Corinne

  I missed him. It hadn’t been more than seventy two hours since I saw him and I was ready to call him and take it all back. That was the same day three men came to the door and had a warrant to search our house. It was almost laughable; they were all dressed in black suits with white shirts and black straight ties. Were they looking for drugs or fat aliens? They came in and took all of our computers, files, safes, and everything else. They warned my parents on the way out that they were not to leave the state until the court date. I was right smack dab in the middle of one of those investigative documentaries.

  Sean did the best he could. He tried to call me and text me as often as he could but he had tons of responsibilities at home. I went to Abel’s soccer games and watched from the side of the bleachers where I couldn’t be seen. I was pathetic.

  The next week I met with my parents’ lawyer. A week after my parents went to their court date, I would turn eighteen and the money would be mine. And before the meeting was over, the beady eyed, bald headed man leaned forward on his desk and gave me a stern look.

  “Look Corinne, as your parents’ lawyer, I’m not supposed to say this. So let’s pretend I’m just a friend, ok?”

  “Yeah, ok.” My stomach turned and twisted, it somehow knew what he was about to say.

  “The IRS has everything on your parents, everything. I am going to try my damndest, but even in the best case scenario your Dad is going to go to prison for at least a nickel. Your mom might serve less because she’s a woman, but they will probably both be gone by next Monday. You have money. Go ahead and make some arrangements now. I’m not trying to scare you kid. I’m just trying to warn you.”

  I left the office in shock. Somehow I had been under the delusion that they would be fine. I couldn’t stay with Sean. His poor dad had enough to worry about. I decided to go to the Stephenson’s to talk to Angela. Mostly I needed someone to talk to, but also wanting to see if staying at their house was an option.

  I pulled up in that ever familiar driveway and took a moment to remember our summer here. Abel stepping out of his truck for the first time. The barn where he realized he remembered me from his childhood. The swimming pool where I got my first eyeful of his stomach, and the six pack I would later run my hands over and awaken feelings in me that I didn’t know existed. The bedroom where he held me while I slept. I bumped my forehead against the steering wheel, rattling the memories, hoping they would give me a break.

  I knocked on the door and Angela opened it, excited to see me but immediately noticing my diminished appearance.

  “Corinne, what’s wrong?” I went inside and spilled my guts. She held my hand through some of it and gasped and teared up through the rest. And by the end of the conversation, I was completely spent.

  “I don’t even have to ask Philip before asking you. Do you want to live here with us through the rest of high school? You can have your room that you stayed in. You can finish school without worrying about having to look for a place to live. We would be happy to have you in our home again.”

  I broke down then, crying tears that I didn’t know I still had left. She came around the island and hugged me, smoothed my hair with her hands. It was the first time that anyone had held me like I imagined a mother would. I had to accept her offer. I needed the security she offered.

  I stayed for dinner and as soon as everything was explained to Philip he offered for me to stay with them through the rest of the school year and we all laughed. Angela explained that she had already offered for me to live with them and said, “Well, I’m just late for the party, aren’t I?”

  I left late at night after deciding that instead of waiting until Monday, I would move most of my things in over the weekend. I called Abel on my way home, not able to resist any longer.

  “Corinne?” He answered in a tone that suggested he had waited for my name to show up on the phone.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.” He said and I heard the smile in his voice.

  “I’m going to move my stuff into the Stephenson’s this weekend. My parents’ lawyer said—well, I think after Monday I will be on my own. I just wanted you to know where I was in case…”

  “In case of what Corinne?” he asked. I didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. I felt raw and exposed already but to admit that I needed him—it was more than I could do.

  “I will be there Monday. Don’t even argue.”

  The tears started again and a whimper escaped me.

  “Tell me where you are.”

  “It’s fine Abel, I’m almost home.”

  He whispered something I couldn’t hear and then hung up.

  Monday morning I moved like a shell of a person. I wore my best black skirt and white button down shirt, like my clothing might help the judge change his mind. It wasn’t that I was so close to my parents. It was just the whole situation. I was alone again. I didn’t want to be, but at this point not even I could penetrate my own walls. I was mentally a mess.

  I walked into the courtroom, my parents had arrived earlier with their lawyer who looked on me with pity. I didn’t know where to sit. I certainly didn’t want to sit behind them as if I supported what they did, but I didn’t want to sit on the side of people who were putting my parents in jail either. So I stood there until a hand settled in the crook of my elbow and pulled me to the section behind my parents, but halfway back.

  I was supported on both sides, Abel on one and Sean on the other but it was as if they were worlds away from me. I listened as the prosecutor made a huge display of my parents’ transgressions as if he were announcing contestants on a daytime television game show. My parents didn’t react. Let’s face it, my mother never really reacted to anything but for the first time as I watched her, tears streamed down her face and she turned around and looked at me, really looked at me, more than just looking through me. I heard the slam of the gavel and it snapped me to life. My Dad spoke directly to the judge.

  “Please your Honor, give me two minutes to speak to my daughter, I beg of you.”

  The Judge nodded his head once and motioned to the bailiffs “Two minutes.”

  I got to him as fast as I could, desperate to hang onto whatever last words he was so vehemently needed to tell me.

  “The money will be in your account on Friday. Trust Abel. He came in to take care of you when I couldn’t. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

  I opened my mouth to say—something, but it was too late they herded him to the side door and he was gone. I turned to find the arms that I longed to sink into and like my father, he was gone too. I sat in the pew-like seat until I was cleared out by one of the men who took my parents out. Sean sat outside and m
oved to walk next to me as I made my way out.

  We bounded down the concrete steps outside the courthouse and I looked at Sean, “It’s over. It’s just me now.”

  His empathy turned to anger in a flash.

  “Look Corinne, I know you just went through some wretched shit. I do. But the only reason you continue to be alone in this—is because you choose to be. I know when you were at school it wasn’t your choice but it is now. I’m just your friend but you and Abel? You’re not gonna find that again.”

  And with that he walked away.

  Abel

  It was torment to watch her face as she heard the verdict being read. I don’t even think she was aware of the way her eyes almost turned downward when she was upset. Her lip quivered and her hands clenched and unclenched in fists in her lap. Her dad had been given seven years in federal prison and her mom had been given three years.

  She didn’t know it, but today Brett was going to get his judgment as well. The funny thing about cell phones and cameras and videos? Yeah, Vince and Ryan had always videoed or taken pictures of everything Brett had ever done. And I sent all of them to Sean, who uploaded them onto the web. Then an anonymous email was sent to Mr. Anderson, at his work, with links to the videos. He should’ve gotten that today. They were complete with Brett beating up on people, doing every drug under the sun, and my personal favorite, a drunken tirade where Brett spoke an impressive soliloquy and listed off the things he hated about his parents. It was the only way I could guarantee he got his comeuppance without paying him a visit and bashing his face in.

  I walked out before she could push me away. There was just so much I could take. I waited around like an idiot for weeks after the trial. Weeks turned into a month. Sean and I hung out every day because she made excuses why she couldn’t see him anymore. She had completely torn herself away from both of us. It was ironic. I remembered when she and I stood in front of my parents’ picture when we realized that we both had been alone most of our lives. Maybe not alone, but lonely. And now, when she needed me most, and I knew she did, she pushed me away.