by Ward, Alice
Lauren’s face popped up on my phone, and I quickly slid the bar to answer her call.
“Claire, I talked to Jackson, and he’s putting you up in one of his resorts in Dallas,” she said before I could even say hello. “It’s a beautiful place, very relaxing and near Austin, so you won’t have to travel very far.”
I practically melted into the seat in relief. “That sounds perfect. Thank you, Lauren, and thank Jackson for me.”
“Of course, so where are you? Can you get to the airport?”
I looked out the window at the passing scenery. “I’m on my way now.”
“Tickets are waiting for you, and yes, they’re first class,” Lauren said with a chuckle that made me smile.
“Well, I certainly hope this wouldn’t be the time you make me travel coach, or worse yet, in the belly riding in a dog cage,” I teased, even though I wouldn’t have cared if I were strapped to the top of the damn thing as long as it took me anywhere but here.
“I’m glad to hear you laugh, Claire. Call me when you arrive at the resort. Love you.” And she was gone.
The leather seat was cool against my back, and my head felt so heavy I knew I could fall asleep if I only closed my eyes. The driver wouldn’t let me, his voice loud and abrasive as he asked me about my plans for the week.
“I have a friend setting me up in their Dallas resort,” I explained.
He let out a “woohoo” that made him sound like he was from New Orleans, not Kansas. I had to ask him where he was from.
“Louisiana, of course.”
I laughed, and he kept me entertained and my mind off Aiden and Elle while we rode to the airport. He was working here to save up money to fix his restaurant that had been destroyed in the Katrina flood. He still owned the building, and he had been working on it himself for years, but he still wasn’t close to reopening.
“What’s the name of your restaurant?’ I asked.
“Big Jake’s,” he said proudly. “That’s me, Jake.”
Our conversation turned more serious when he asked why I’d looked so sad earlier. After he’d taken my mind away from the pain, I realized it wasn’t nearly as painful to talk about.
I explained the situation, even including the love triangle with Shep. His eyes flicked to me often through the rearview mirror, and I could see his compassion for my dilemma.
“My momma always told me, people that try to take you down dirty, aren’t deserving of your anger, your pity or your praise. So hold your head high, play fair and win fair.”
“Your momma sounds like a wise woman.”
He nodded and met my eyes again. “Sounds like Shep may have been privy to information about this Aiden character that you just didn’t want to hear,” he said. “Maybe it’s time you hear it.”
I was a little disappointed when we pulled into the airport. I was enjoying my talk with Big Jake. He got out of the car, pulled out my suitcases, and handed them to the attendant on the sidewalk before opening my door. I stepped out and was surprised at my reaction. I opened my arms and slid them around him, squeezing his round belly and pressing my head against his chest.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
Big Jake held me tightly, then brushed my hair from my face. “You win this thing. Play fair. Win fair.”
I went through airport security without a hitch and made it to my gate with plenty of time to spare. The airport bar was across from my gate, so I grabbed my carry-mon and found a seat in the corner. The bartender was a sweet blonde girl named Kelly.
“What can I get ya?” she asked with a southern accent.
“Iced tea.” It was still early, so I wasn’t ready for anything stronger, but my throat was so dry from crying that I needed something cold and wet.
The television was on, and a news story was running about the show. It was scheduled to air next week, after the finale was filmed. The tabloid pictures of me and Shep came onto the screen, and Kelly turned to look at me. “Isn’t that you?”
I nodded and sipped my iced tea.
“What’s Shep like in person?” she asked, her eyes fluttering like a backstage junkie.
I kept it simple. “He’s a really nice guy.”
“Is it true? Are you two a thing?” she pushed.
I smiled, pushed my iced tea towards her, and placed a ten-dollar bill on the table. “I have to catch my plane.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
e
The flight was uneventful, and I was relieved to finally be at the resort. Jackson arranged for me to have a suite, complete with a private swimming pool outside my patio doors. It was lush — even more so than the Four Seasons — and when I arrived, I found a note from Kennedy.
Claire,
I’m truly sorry this happened to you. Of all the people I know, you’re the sweetest and deserve so much better. Relax, enjoy, and splurge a little. You have an appointment already made at the spa. Use it. The hotel will accept no money from you, so enjoy a steak, buy a cute bikini, and take a dip in the pool.
We all love you very much,
Kennedy
Tears flowed from her kindness. She hadn’t said “I told you so” as I’d feared. She was classy, kind, and extremely generous.
Kennedy’s advice was taken, and I was starting to feel more like my old self. The spa appointment was an all-day event, and after so much pampering, I fell asleep on my enormous bed for what felt like days.
A knock on the door pulled me back into reality. I hadn’t ordered room service, although I was starving. Maybe Kennedy had the front desk keeping an eye on me and knew I hadn’t eaten. I laughed to myself and flung open the door.
It was Shep.
He stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, looking extremely nervous.
“Shep?” I squeaked, confused that he would even know where to find me. “What are you doing here?”
His dark eyes simmered with uncertainty and compassion and something else that made my heart squeeze in my chest.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I had to check on you after… well, after I heard what happened.”
I didn’t mind, I realized. I was actually very happy to see him, happier than I would have expected to be.
“No, come in,” I said, no longer fearing tabloids catching our actions. I had been through enough, there wasn’t much more they could do to me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Aiden,” he said. “I just felt like you wouldn’t believe me anyways.”
He was right, I wouldn’t have.
“It’s okay, like you said, it wasn’t your story to tell.” I chewed my bottom lip. “But, you didn’t know about Elle, did you?”
“No, of course not,” Shep said quickly. “But, it didn’t surprise me.”
Shep sat down on the soft white sofa and looked around the room. “This is a hell of a place.”
“Yes, it’s my friend’s resort. They only have the best.”
“It’s very—”
“How did you find me?” I blurted out, interrupting him but unable to stop myself. The question couldn’t go unasked a second longer.
Shep worked his hands together and stared into my eyes as he took a deep breath. “Don’t be mad,” he said cautiously, “but I called your friend Asher.”
I sank into the oversized stuffed chair across from Shep and stared into his deep dark eyes. Asher was so protective, and after the tabloids, I couldn’t believe he would give Shep my whereabouts.
“And, he just told you where I was?”
“No, not exactly.” He ran a hand through his hair, and I’d never seen him look so embarrassed. “I had to do a lot of begging, and he spent quite a while checking me out. That’s why I wasn’t here sooner.” He laughed, which make me laugh. I loved that Asher put him through hell before he would give up any information.
“Why didn’t Asher just call me and ask?”
Shep’s eyes were still filled with amusement. “More begging on my part. I asked him not to.” He pointed a
finger at me. “I want you to know I’ve never begged for anything in my life.”
Something deep in my stomach twisted. “Then why did you?” I asked softly, almost breathlessly.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Because I wanted to surprise you, and because I was afraid you would say no.”
I knew there was a good chance I would have said no. I’d come here to be alone, and after Aiden made such a fool of me, having any man around wasn’t something I felt fondly about, with the exception of Jackson and Asher of course.
Silence stretched between us as we gazed at each other, the electricity seeming to change in the room.
I cleared my throat, needing to say something. “Will you tell me what the warnings were about in Boston?”
Shep’s eyes dropped to the floor, and he continued to work his hands like they were a wet rag. “Aiden and I were roommates in college. Best friends actually.”
I was shocked. Aiden never once mentioned that he knew Shep personally, let alone were friends. My mind reeled with reasons why Aiden would keep that from me. It didn’t matter.
“We had a falling out when Aiden took advantage of my little sister,” Shep said. “She was only sixteen, and he had taken her out and gotten her drunk. I came back to the dorm and found them in bed together. She could barely open her eyes.”
The pain he felt from the memory was written on his face.
“I’m so sorry.”
He nodded and met my eyes again. “Aiden was a Romeo, a player, and he was good at the game. He still is.”
I leaned back into my chair and wrapped my arms around my knees. “He never told me that you were friends before,” I admitted. “I’m not surprised that he hid that from me though, knowing the details of how your friendship ended.”
“He’s a horribly selfish man, Claire, and he uses people to get what he wants.” He leaned forward, the look on his face so earnest. “I hadn’t seen him in a long time and had hoped he’d grown up, had become a better man.”
“I should have listened to you,” I whispered. “I should have listened to my friend. To my intuition.”
“It’s—”
I held up a hand, and he stopped talking. He gave me a little smile to go on.
“I was raised to be polite and kind, to bend over backwards to please people. That’s what I’ve done all my life. Not made waves. Been the caregiver. I stayed with my first boyfriend for most of my life because it was comfortable. Easy.” I barked out a laugh. “Well, it was easy until he left me.”
Shep stood and walked over to the little refrigerator. He pulled out two bottles of water and handed one to me. I smiled my thanks and watched him take a long sip. But he said nothing. Just waited for me to continue.
“You’ve been my idol for a long time, and when I first saw you, I was all fan girl.”
He laughed, and I smiled at the memory of meeting him for the first time. I’d been so innocent then. Stupid and naïve to the ways of the world. I’d grown up so much over the past weeks. God, I hope I have!
“It’s funny. I wouldn’t let myself be attracted to you because you were a judge and I didn’t want anyone to think I was being favored.” I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Look at where that got me.”
Shep laughed again but sobered quickly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s hard living your life in front of a camera and with people pushing you in different directions. It makes for good drama. That’s why reality shows thrive.”
It was my turn to groan. “Think I’ll be nominated for Biggest Idiot in a Reality Show?”
His dark eyes grew darker. “Stop it! You so happen to be one of my favorite people, and I don’t like to hear my favorite people speak about themselves that way.”
My face burned, and I pressed the ice cold bottle of water against my cheek. “How can I still possibly be a favorite?”
“Because I can see past all of that, Claire. I can see the path you were pushed down and the reasons behind it. You’re right. It would have been impossible for us to be together during the show. No one would have ever believed you won based on your own talent. It was I who was the fool for pursuing you.”
I licked my lips, and his eyes followed the movement. “Then why did you?”
He exhaled a long breath. “Have you ever looked at something and knew right away that you needed it in your life?”
I nodded.
“You don’t know how special you are, do you?” he asked gently, and my face burned even more. I blinked hard and pressed the back of my hand to my nose to keep the emotion at bay. It didn’t work. “Claire, don’t cry. I don’t want to pressure you. I just wanted to see you in person and tell you how sorry I am for my role in how everything went down. And I want you to know that my feelings haven’t changed and that I’m proud of you.”
My head jerked up at that, and I scoffed, a sound so harsh it hurt my throat.
“Yes. I’m proud of you.”
“How can you be? I slept with…” I couldn’t say Aiden’s name.
“Shit, Claire, this is the twenty-first century.” His voice was louder now, his face angry. “You can sleep with whoever you want to, whenever you want to. Hell, you’ve slept with how many men in your life? Two?”
I nodded, embarrassed at the admission.
He jumped up from the couch and began to pace the room. “Fuck anyone who wants to look down on you for that. You had every right to sleep with that asshole. You believed in him, and I’m sure you were attracted to him. You did nothing wrong!”
I don’t know why, but I laughed. Laughed at the vehemence in his eyes. Or maybe at the relief I felt for not being the horrible person I’d thought I was.
He stopped pacing. “What’s so funny?”
I twisted open the water and took a long drink. “I don’t know,” I finally confessed. “I just can’t believe you’re here, defending me after everything that’s happened.”
He walked in front of me and extended his hand. I stared at it for a long time before taking it. He pulled me to my feet and removed the bottle of water from my hand, setting it on the table next to me.
My heart raced when his hands came down on my shoulders. “Look at me.”
I swallowed hard and looked up, meeting his eyes.
“You have a competition to win. Right now, nothing else matters. Got it?”
I’ve never seen eyes so kind. I nodded because I wasn’t able to speak.
He squeezed my shoulders tighter. “This thing between you and me, let’s put it on hold so you can focus. Then, I want us to talk. See where we both stand. Decide how or if to move forward.”
I reached up and cupped his cheek with my hand. “That sounds like a good plan.”
He smiled and turned his head to kiss my palm. “You can win this.”
I wanted to pull his face down to mine. I wanted to kiss his lips. Wanted to make love to him. Lose myself in his strength and scent. Instead, I took a step closer and simply hugged him tight and sighed as his arms came around me.
He had come all this way to find me, to tell me about Aiden and offer encouragement. He truly was a gentleman, and I’d overlooked him for the bad boy, imagine that!
“I don’t know if I can beat him,” I confessed against his chest.
“You can, I’ll help you,” Shep said. “We have five days to prepare.”
Excitement returned, and my adrenaline started to flow once again through my veins. I was ready. I wanted this. I wanted to win. I looked up at him. “Yes, let’s do it!”
He spun me around and then put me back on my feet, holding me close again. I pressed my face into his chest and breathed him in. His scent instantly took me back to the night in the hotel. He was so attentive, so skillful. So…
Focus Claire!
“Thank you for helping me,” I whispered.
Shep pulled me from his chest and looked down at me with a wide smile. “Let’s go to Austin and get you ready to kick some ass!”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TW
O
e
Shep arranged for a private jet to take us to Austin, where we would stay in his apartment and prepare for the upcoming finale. To avoid being seen and making me the source of more tabloid fodder, we decided to leave that evening so we could arrive in Austin before daybreak in order to sneak me into his place.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Lauren asked. I held the phone to my ear so Shep couldn’t hear her through my speaker and snuck off into the bathroom.
“I think he’s sincere. After all, Asher approved him,” I whispered, hoping I wasn’t being stupid and naïve again. “And he’s been a perfect gentleman and refuses to touch me until after the competition.”
“But why his apartment?” she asked. “It’s terribly risky.”
“Because I need to practice, and although my room here has a nice kitchenette, it would be better if I had something more professional.”
Lauren sighed. “Okay, I get it. Just keep the business in the kitchen, you hear me?”
I laughed. “Promise.”
“I just don’t want him pushing you into another relationship. I think you’re vulnerable right now and need some time to heal after this.” I could hear Lauren’s worry over the line as we hung up.
I dearly hoped I was doing the right thing. I’d told her the truth. Shep had been a perfect gentleman. He hadn’t brought up the feelings he had for me or made me feel pressured in any way. I felt safe with him. I trusted him.
The jet waited for us as we ran across the tarmac and up the long metal steps. The door closed behind us, and we were instructed to take our seats. A blonde flight attendant, tall and very attractive, immediately made her way to Shep.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked. He didn’t seem interested in her; he simply smiled and declined.
“How about you?” she asked sweetly. I shook my head, even though I was starving and could think of about a hundred things I wanted.
The flight was only about an hour, and Shep promised to have a meal waiting for me upon arriving at his place. I was excited to see where he lived after seeing the farm he grew up on as a child.