by Belleza
Taking a look back at my outfits, I settled for a solid color dress and a kimono to throw over it. After running the flat iron quickly through my hair. I applied gloss and put on my hoop earrings. The last thing I grabbed was my purse and phone before I went downstairs almost running into Amare.
“I thought I had to make good on my word.”
His arms went around my waist pulling me into him. He kissed my forehead after seeing I had gloss on my lips. He hated it with a passion because it felt sticky.
We left out of the house and Mar and got inside of his fancy BMW. He typed in the address I told him into his GPS system and then we were on our way. The entire drive, I peered at his side profile in awe basking in the intoxicating scent of his cologne. I loved every inch of him, but if I had to choose one thing that stood out the most was the jet black mass of hair he had on his head. It was always tapered precisely and had the perfect, lustrous coils. I appreciated how he kept himself together. Most men didn’t give a fuck, but Amare was neat as hell.
Seeing the sly ass smirk on his face caused me to smile as well knowing that I was busted. He didn’t say anything. He had to be use to me staring by now. I couldn’t believe how much my life has changed in a short amount of time. I wished my mother could’ve been just as happy and excited as I was, but I was sure in due time she’ll get over her feelings.
***
“You don’t know how happy I am that you are here!” Ms. Margaret said as soon as we stepped inside of the home their family in the Collingdale.The beautiful two story home was a far cry from the house I resided in with my mother in the hood. It had me feeling salty seeing the big difference in the way they lived. I had to check myself and remember that the differences in our lives wasn’t intentional, at least I hope it wasn’t.
She stood in the doorway and embraced Amare and I.
“I can relax now that you guys are here. I was so afraid thinking you wouldn’t show.”
“No, we’re here.”
Ms. Margaret was aware that I was with Amare due to his presence in the shop from bringing me lunch and stopping by to check up on me. No one really knew the extent of our relationship though unless they knew I was pregnant or noticed the ring. Those two things were clear indications we were serious, but I had to introduce them.
“I haven’t gotten the chance to properly introduce you two, but Ms. Margaret this is my Fiancé, Amare. Amare, this is Ms. Margaret… my father’s wife.”
Ms. Margaret was in such good spirits that she hugged Amare again rocking side to side. When she released him, she told us to follow her and we walked to what I assumed was the dining room where I heard talking and laughter.
Feeling Amare taking my sweaty hand into his, calmed my nerves a little as we got close. I looked up at him and he winked his eye pulling a smile out of me.
When we got to the dining room, I glanced at who I assumed were my brother and sister and then my father. He looked at me, then at Ms. Margaret and then back at me. From his reaction I wasn’t sure if he was too fond of this surprise until he pushed his chair back from the table with a smile on his face looking like he almost wanted to cry.
When he approached us and reached out to me, I let Amare’s hand go and embraced him. It was nothing like I imagined, but I was happy to finally meet him and hopefully have him in my life for good.
“I can’t believe it,” he mumbled stepping back with his hands planted on my shoulders to get a good look at me. We both had tears glossing our eyes. Mine actually fell the second I blinked, and I laughed and fanned my eyes so I wouldn’t mess up my makeup.
Facing my father was like looking in the mirror besides him being a male. He had the height and bulk but everything about us were so identical down to our skin complexion and nose.
“Don’t hog her, Corey, introduce her to the family,” Ms. Margaret called out to him breaking us out of our trance.”
“Let me start!” I gushed turning towards Amare. I stepped out of my father's embrace and took hold of my man’s hand. “Dad, this is my Fiancé, Amare. You can call him Mar.”
The hard stare my father gave Mar, had my stomach twisting. It was not the first impression I thought he would have, especially since he was never in my life. At face value, Mar looked like the kind of guy you keep away from your daughter. Hell… he was a heartbreaker in one part of his life, but this here was the love of my life and he hasn't bought anything but peace, love and happiness in my once chaotic world.
My father eventually extended his hand and Amare shook it. I picked up on his entire vibe that he wasn’t feeling my father's initial reaction and was playing it cool for right now. After their introduction, I was then introduced to my siblings who welcomed me with open arms as well. My little sister clung to me like I was her long lost best friend. I appreciated how easy it was to join them because the entire situation itself could’ve been awkward.
Despite that awkward moment between my father and Amare, dinner went without a hitch. Amare and my older brother got along well actually. There was so much excitement and not enough time to enjoy each other's company that we were already planning another get together.
“How about we go to the living room and enjoy some of my famous peach cobbler and some pictures. I have a ton of stories to catch Corryn up on.”
“Oh my God,” my sister groaned and rolled her eyes to the top of her head. “Dad… can you get mom.”
He released a deep guttural chuckle. “My hands are tied,” he admitted. Ms. Margaret must’ve always got her way, just like how it was at the shop.
“That’s my cue,” CJ stated.
“No! You can’t just up and leave after dinner,” I told my brother as if I had some kind of authority. He was dark skin just like my father with the same exact features the three of us possessed. Junior stood about 5 '11 with an athletic build. He was dressed down in some pants and button up shirt. He looked more like a computer tech guy to me, but he was into retail and was a part of Macy's line design department. He was just living the life traveling across the country and meeting new women. Who would’ve thought thugs were the only ones breaking hearts?
I help up pleading hand his way and he looked towards Mar. “If I gotta stay for this I need some fresh air. Mar come outside with me. I gotta show you something.”
Amare agreed and I was confused until my sister leaned over and whispered, “CJ is about to smoke.” I was now cutting my eyes at both of them. My brother laughed and gave me a one armed hug, while Amare pecked my cheek.
I shook my head watching them disappear through the back door and then Ms. Margaret pulled my sister out of the kitchen and towards the family room leaving my father and I together. I wasn’t sure if it was in the plan, but I was down for a conversation with him.
“So…” my father said leaning against the counter crossing his arms and his feet at the ankles. “Where do we start? Are you upset with me? Did you hate me?”
My eyebrows snapped together from his statements. “Not at all. I’ve thought about meeting you all my life. I would’ve never guessed you were closer than what I imagined.”
“How’s your mother?”
The thought of her had me rolling my eyes. I didn’t care to remember how she hasn't spoken to me since I revealed that I was coming to see my father. “Good, I guess,” I responded lifting my shoulder up sharply. “She’s not too happy that I’m here, but she will get over it.”
“I’m sorry-”
I held my hand up. “You don’t even have to apologize. Mrs. Margaret told me everything I needed to know, and I honestly don’t care about what caused you not to be in my life. As long as you didn’t choose to say fuck me, I’m happy, and I accept you fully as my father.”
That brought a smile to my father's face. “I can’t believe I missed out on so much. I may have been a lot of things, but a dead beat was never one of them.”
“I can tell. We can live for right now and you can show your parenting skills becoming a grandparent,” I adm
itted rubbing on my stomach. “I’m two months to be exact and cannot wait to get out of this first trimester.”
“Wow, congratulations. It seems like I missed out on all the important moments in your life.”
He had a sadness in his eyes that was tugging at my heart. I wish I would’ve gotten the chance to know my father growing up, but we were here right now presently, and I hated being caught up in the what ifs when I had a promising future to look forward to.
“There’s still the birth of the baby, and my wedding. You can walk me down the aisle—"
“That’s if ya momma even allow me to be there. She hates me.” I made a face because that was such a strong word to use but given the circumstances of her keeping him away from me. It had to have been hate. “I was never up front and honest with her about Margaret and the day she found out she said she didn’t want to be with me. I’ve heard through the grapevine that she was pregnant and the one time I did end up approaching her about it we got into a terrible fight. Your mother was always a hothead. I wasn’t the type to put my hands on women, so I let her have her way. The next couple of days, I was served with a restraining order. After that I gave up. I figured there were no women in history that didn’t want their child’s father out of their lives; especially not a good one.” He sighed running his hands down his head. “Boy was I wrong. It weighed so heavy on my mind I ended up confessing to Margaret about my infidelity even if that means it ended our marriage. I didn’t like a man taking care of two children when I knew deep down I had three. Margaret being Margaret she found a way to find you and kept updating me on your growth. Looking back now, I wished I took the chance on being in your life regardless of what your mother did to keep me out of it.”
My father sucked in a sharp breath and bit his bottom lip probably holding back the tears he wanted to shed. Instead of responding, I walked up to him and embraced him leaning my head on his chest. I understood completely where he was coming from and honestly nothing in the past mattered. As long as my father did want to be in my life, it made me more comfortable in having him apart of it now.
Mar
Dinner was cool and I was relieved that CoCo was finally able to relax. Ms. Margaret and her pop were loving, and her siblings were very accepting of her. I remember Corryn saying they probably needed to get a DNA test, but none was needed. Watching her sit with her paternal family talking and laughing as they looked at the pictures, I picked up on the strong similarities. Chloe and Corryn were damn near twins from the shape of their eyes, their smiles and big ass head.
I played the sidelines allowing them to do their thing. Her brother and I were watching a game on TV after we blew it down in the backyard before he left. He was a designer for the Macy’s men line in New York and had to go back to work, so I was now chilling on the sidelines by myself enjoying the smile on my beautiful girl’s face.
Her father got up and left out of the living room and returned extending a shot glass in front of me of me. I looked up at him and back at the glass, reminding myself to relax. I didn’t do the up close and personal shit. Knowing he ain’t mean no harm, I took the glass from him.
“I figured I keep you some company. We got a little side tracked from the excitement of having my daughter around finally.
“It’s all good. We’re here for y’all to connect with each other. I’m just a spectator.”
Her father, Mr. Knight, took a seat down in the arm chair that was on the other side of the console where I was sitting. He placed his shot glass on the table and poured himself some Bourbon before holding it up to me. I was more of a vodka type of guy, but I accepted his offer and nodded my head signaling for him to fill me up. Once he placed the bottle down, we both lifted our shots and turned them up.
I swallowed the liquor and placed my shot cup back down focusing on CoCo again as she giggled and swept a piece of her hair behind her ear. Probably feeling my gaze on her, she looked my way and smirked and then at her father.
“You love her.” He told me.
I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, so I answered, “I do. More than anything. She’s about to have my baby and soon after she will be my wife. If I had it my way right now she would’ve had my last name.”
Her father nodded his head with a slight smirk and then glanced at his daughter.
“I can’t even be mad at you. I wish I was there every step of the way with you asking me for her hand in marriage, but I see she’s in good hands. You can’t keep your eyes off her,” he chuckled, and I laughed along. Even with him joking I knew he was serious. “Although you’ve known her longer than I have, I ask that you take care of my daughter. Despite the fact that she’s been kept from me for so long I expect her to be treated as nothing less than a queen. You hurt her, and I’m coming for you.”
Not too keen of threats, I took the bottle of liquor, poured some in my glass and took the shot. He only meant well. Shit, if I had a daughter, and she had a nigga that bowed down at her feet I’d be sure to make sure I hem his ass up and let him know fucking her over was something he definitely didn’t want to do.
“I respect that. I get that even though you missed out on some much of her life, it wasn’t by choice and given by your actions I can tell you truly do care about Corryn.” I placed the glass down and glanced at her. She now had a concerned look on her face now that me and her father were in an intense conversation. She was more than likely wondering what the hell we were talking about, but it was all good. “I love, Corryn, more than anything in this world. Shit, she’s bringing my first born into this world she deserves my last name.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty five. We’re the same age.”
Her father leaned back in the chair and rubbed his hand over his goatee. “Same age I decided to be with my wife. We got married when she had my son and as you see with my daughters being months apart I didn’t have it all together even when I got older. I loved Margaret, but my twenties and thirties I was selfish. I wanted her and every other woman that was eager to have me in their life. I’m saying this to ask you if you’re truly ready for this step or you’re marrying her because she’s pregnant? I made the mistake of breaking a woman so bad knowing I wasn’t ready for commitment. By the grace of God and forgiveness we’re still together, but I’d hate for my children...my daughters to pay for my sins.”
“Corryn suffered from your sins with the lack of your presence and dealing with a mother with a broken and bitter heart. What we have going on isn’t your Karma falling back on her. I put that on my life. We found out she was pregnant after I proposed. I always had eyes for Corryn, but I was in a space where I knew I couldn’t be the man she deserved. Fate always has a way of bringing people back in your life that you let go whether it’s good or bad and the first time I laid eyes on her after years of not seeing her, I knew the opportunity I couldn’t miss. She’s beautiful, intelligent, hardworking and compassionate. Besides my sister, she’s the one thing that makes me better. I never thought I’d be capable of loving anyone, especially not after the shit I have been through, but she came into my world and got me looking at life in another perspective.” I laughed hearing myself speak about it out loud. This was some shit I never shared with Wes or Ken. They both were on the path of recognizing love while I was knee deep. “Sometimes I feel unworthy of her love, but I’m damn sure embracing it and never letting it go. So me hurting her, will never be a concern for you. I’m a man before anything. I will now have a wife and child. I’ll do anything to protect my family even if that person is you.”
I held an unwavering stare his way making sure he knew I meant exactly what I said. I’d hate to make good on my word, but he felt it was cool to make threats. I made promises. My family was something I didn’t fuck around with whether it be Kenton or Wesley, Amena or my future wife and child. I put my life on the line for them, especially Corryn's.
He finally smiled after a few seconds of staring at each other. “Damn, I apologize. I se
e you’re genuine and passionate about my daughter. I trust that she's in the right hands. From the way you sound, I should be asking if I have a right to be apart in her life.”
I chuckled. “Nah, you good ol’ G. You her pops, so you’re always apart as long as your intentions are always good with her. I know she misses you. She’s happy. That’s all I want her to be.”
I think that was all her father need to hear before he relaxed and started telling me stories about himself back in the day and even caught me up to speed about her mother. Something he didn’t have to do but I appreciated the transparency. It was exactly what I figured it was with her mom falling for the wrong guy. Everyone had their fucked up choices I just hoped for Corryn’s happiness she’d get over this visit because there was no way she had to choose between loving her mother and father when they both were here to do it.
Kesha
Soon after my mother’s death my father and I quickly decided on getting her cremated. My father could care less, and I could tell he was somewhat relieved to have her miserable ass out of his life. I was in the same boat as well to an extent. I had too much going on in my personal life I didn’t have it in me to mourn for the loss of my mother. Shit, I done became one without her and possibly no baby father, so I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do.
However, her side of the family was in an uproar because of the decision. They all wanted to be listed in the obituary and had an opinion on how things should be to lay my mother to rest when no one was putting a dime towards the cremation or ceremony. It wasn’t like they were close to us anyway; they were only around when money was involved since we were well off because of my father.
My father ain’t give two fucks though. He was now in charge of his life now that she was gone and was living exactly how he wanted to. I couldn’t even blame him because my mother wasn’t easy to deal with.