Elijah's Mate (Shifter Nation: Werebears Of Big Bend)

by Meg Ripley

  “Well, you sure didn’t hug or kiss or act in a way that looked like two fated mates seeing each other.”

  The anger bubbled up and heated my neck. I was in a horn-tossing mood, but it wasn’t Alex’s fault. Maybe he’d even have a suggestion. “I don’t know what her problem is! She totally blew me off. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Whoa. That sucks. She didn’t give you a reason?”

  “I asked her and she just gave these short answers, like ‘I can’t’ when I asked her out tonight, and then, she just walked off.”

  “Was Javier there?” he asked.

  “No. Why?”

  Alex lifted a shoulder. “Wasn’t sure where he was connected. Or how deeply.”

  “I reckoned maybe he had something to do with it, but he wasn’t there, so it can’t be him.”

  “That’s weird,” he agreed.

  “It’s so out of nowhere. Something is going on. I know she didn’t just change her mind.”

  “She also thought you were fated, right?”

  “Yes. But I sort of hinted at it first, so maybe she was just saying that to go along with me.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Doubtful.”

  “Hey, hey.” Wyatt knocked on the doorframe and entered my office. “So, how y’all doin’? We fixin’ to head out to the border still?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I was just finishing some things up.”

  “And…?” He looked at me expectantly. “Feeling better, then?”

  “Not really.”

  “We talked a little,” Alex said.

  “Good,” Wyatt said. “It’s Valentina, right? Come hell or high water, it’s always a girl that gets him upset like this.”

  “Always?” I snapped.

  “You’re usually happy as a hog in mud,” Wyatt explained, “but the last break up had you in a bad mood for weeks. And now this? I knew it had to be the girl.”

  I shook my head and blew out a breath. “I don’t know what the problem is, but she’s blowing me off. Won’t take my calls, will barely talk to me.”

  “You try emailing her?” Wyatt asked.

  “What good would that do?”

  “Love letters are a powerful thing. Lost art, if you ask me. Write to her and tell her how much you burn for her.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that’ll work.”

  He huffed. “You fight fires together? Hello?”

  “Whatever. I guess I can try, but I don’t reckon it’ll do much.”

  “Go to her ranch, then,” Wyatt suggested.

  “That’s not a bad idea,” Alex added. “You could talk to her privately and get some answers.”

  I thought back to all the explanations I’d come up with for her sudden coldness. What if it was her family that was the problem?

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said.

  Wyatt looked behind him as the door of the station opened and two Rangers walked in. “We can talk in group chat. Everyone is here, so let’s get on with it.”

  We joined the other two shifters: gray foxes whose small size could be an advantage by fitting under openings in the fence. If we got lucky, we’d catch someone in action trying to cross the border. Otherwise, we needed to scout the area to get ideas for how best to increase our surveillance and where.

  We all stripped down, placed our clothing and personal items into the shed we kept for such an occasion, and shifted. We started our run toward the border, Wyatt leading the way with Alex and I at his flanks and our two foxes behind us.

  We’re going to be so close, Wyatt said, picking up the earlier conversation, we could just run down there with you. If there’s any trouble, you’ll have backup.

  The more I think about it, I said, the more I think it’s a bad idea.

  Why? Alex asked. What harm could it do?

  One reason she might have turned on me is that her family doesn’t approve. If I show up there unexpectedly, that’ll make things worse.

  Wyatt cut to the left. Or it’ll be a grand romantic gesture and they’ll change their minds and think you’re perfect for their daughter.

  We only had one date. I reckon it would come off creepy.

  Maybe, Alex admitted, but what’s the alternative? You never know…

  That sounded horrible. For now, I’m going to wait and see what happens. Give it another day or two.

  If I could wait that long before going crazy.

  10

  Valentina

  It might have been the only time I was ever grateful for the way the smoke irritated all of our eyes. No one could tell I was close to tears because all the Demonios’ eyes were red and watering. I managed to hold things together during all the chit-chatting after the fire. I even made it through the ride back with Miguel and got into my room before the pain erupted.

  It had been so good to see Elijah; my heart had lurched in my chest and my inner bear chuffed in delight. But then, the horrible reality crashed on me. I had to turn from him to keep from bursting into tears immediately. Or from running into his arms, which was what I wanted most, but was also the most unacceptable. If Javier asked Miguel to watch me, surely he had others watching me as well. No doubt my little encounter earlier would make it back to Javier, if it hadn’t already.

  To look at Elijah, to see the confusion and pain I was causing him, made my pain intensify. It was bad enough that I was suffering for the sake of my family, but I was making Elijah suffer for them, too, and that wasn’t fair—especially because he didn’t know why. But that was the most important part. If he found out, he’d go after Javier, and he didn’t fully understand how connected Javier was with the gangs in the area.

  If Elijah killed Javier, he wouldn’t make it home alive.

  It had been weeks since that fire. Weeks since I’d seen Elijah or heard his voice.

  A bright spot of pain burned in my chest at every thought of him. I felt restless. Like nothing was right without him. I had to see him. Had to hear from him. I balled my hands into fists and focused on the reasons I couldn’t.

  I took out my old laptop and waited for it to connect to the internet. It took several minutes because of the spotty service we had in Boquillas, but eventually, I connected to my email inbox. I reread the message from Elijah for maybe the hundredth time. He’d poured out his heart to me in traditional love-letter style. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever received, but it was also the most painful; I couldn’t respond, and I couldn’t be with him.

  Tears flowed down my cheeks in a steady stream as I read the email again. The phone rang and my heart stopped. Would anyone ever know if I talked to him? In the kitchen, I faintly heard Rosa answer the phone followed by footsteps coming toward me. My heart raced as she stopped in front of my door and knocked.

  “Your love is on the phone again, Val. You should talk to him. He sounds worse every day.”

  I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat. “I can’t,” I whispered.

  “You’re still not here?”

  “No. Don’t keep lying to him. Tell him that I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to him, and to please stop calling.”

  She paused. “Are you sure?”

  A thrill shot through me each time he called. To know he cared that much. To know he was thinking of me right then. To know his voice had been so close to me. But it made things worse in the long run.

  I finally said, “Yes.”

  Rosa walked back to the kitchen and I heard her muffled words before the click of the phone being set on the receiver. Then, her footsteps echoed back to my room.

  “Let me in,” she said.

  “It’s open.”

  She entered and sat on the edge of my bed, facing me. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

  “You know exactly why,” I muttered.

  “We can all take care of ourselves. You think we need our little sister to take care of us?” she huffed.

  “It’s more than that, and you know it.”

  Rosa shook her he
ad. “You can’t live your life according to the desires of a mad man, chica. It’s making you miserable! And him.”

  “I don’t have a choice.” I flopped down face first into my pillow.

  “You keep saying that, but I don’t believe it.” She rubbed my back for a few minutes, then left without a word.

  I didn’t understand how Rosa and Bella could be so insistent that I should defy Javier. Were they not afraid of the consequences if I didn’t? Or did they somehow believe Javier wouldn’t hurt them? They couldn’t be that stupid.

  The more I thought about that, the more I knew I was right. My sisters weren’t stupid. And they wouldn’t just flagrantly put themselves in harm’s way. So, was I missing something? Was there some part of it I couldn’t see? Some way that I really could be with Elijah and not have to fear Javier?

  I already knew what my siblings had to say. But my mother hadn’t weighed in. Before, I had taken that to mean she agreed with Miguel and felt she didn’t have to say anything, as long as I was doing what she wanted. But that was only an assumption. Maybe she agreed with my sisters and was waiting for me to wake up and see it myself.

  I stopped crying and splashed water on my face before going to find my mother in her bedroom, folding laundry. If anyone could see an alternative to my problem, she could. Hope sparked in my heart.

  I entered her bedroom and picked up a shirt to help her fold.

  “I appreciate the help, hija,” she said, “but you don’t usually help me with laundry.”

  “I know.” No point in trying to delay things. “You haven’t said much about the situation with Javier not wanting me to see Elijah…”

  She set a folded shirt into the basket to her right. “What’s there to say?”

  “What do you think?”

  “You’re a grown woman. You can make your own decisions; you don’t need my advice.”

  “Ma-ma,” I whined.

  She blew out a hard breath and pointed a sleeve at me. “You need to keep yourself safe and protect this family. You know that.”

  My shoulders sank and my hope was extinguished. “You think I should do what Javier said?”

  “I think you should do whatever keeps you safe.”

  “I don’t think I can, though. He’s… Abuela said I was a predestinada, and Elijah is the one. I’m fated to be with him.”

  “Nonsense. You knew him for days.” She waved a sock at me. “You’ll find a good Mexican man and have lots of babies. You wouldn’t be fated to a white man who lives in another country. Too much trouble.”

  “I don’t think fate goes by borders or colors.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me. “No? Fate wants you to suffer, then?”

  It had seemed like that to me. Didn’t fate foresee what would happen? Why bring him into my life, just to have him yanked out three days later? Why give me a taste of perfect love and then keep it from me forever?

  “Thanks, Mama.” I set a shirt into the basket and walked back to my bedroom.

  The crushing disappointment brought fresh tears. I’d really convinced myself she would’ve had a solution. Some way I could both have Elijah and keep my family safe. But it was hopeless. The grief hit me and I fell to my knees. My head spun with dizziness for a moment, then a wave of nausea washed over me.

  I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, just making it before throwing up into the toilet. I’d never had stress make me sick before, but I’d never felt something so awful before, either. Even my father’s death hadn’t been like this. Anger bubbled in my veins as I silently cursed Javier.

  I washed out my mouth and returned to my room. My stomach had been hurting for days. A bottle of antacids sat by my bed and I chewed a few tablets before lying down. Even though my stomach had been hurting almost since I’d had to say goodbye to Elijah, I’d never thrown up before.

  A cold feeling slid into my stomach. I sat up and grabbed my planner from the bedside table. I didn’t write much in it, but I did keep track of my monthly cycle. I looked at the date where I’d drawn a little “X” in the corner. It was the day I expected to get my period. Six days ago.

  No, no. Which day had we slept together? I counted and counted. It had to have been too early in my cycle. There was no way I could have been pregnant.

  I paced in my room, my mind spinning. Then I noticed that I’d put my hand on my stomach protectively. I looked in the mirror and tried to be very honest with myself.

  My lower lip started to quiver as I had to admit that my breasts were swollen. They felt tender, too. I wasn’t sure what all the signs of pregnancy were, but a missed period, a daily upset stomach, and sore breasts all seemed like impending signs. I’d been crying so much because of the situation that I hadn’t really considered my emotions to be off. Maybe I was crying more because my body was going crazy.

  I put both hands on my belly. I could be carrying a piece of Elijah inside me. A surge of joy flooded my heart, followed by a new wave of tears. A baby created in such pure love…who would grow up without a father? I couldn’t do that to my child. Not when my own father had been such a huge part of my life. But what an amazing father Elijah would make.

  If I were pregnant, I would have to find a way to be with him. But I also knew I’d already considered every angle over the last few weeks. If there was a safe way for me to see him, I would have figured it out by now. I clutched my stomach and closed my eyes to stop the room from spinning.

  11

  Elijah

  I tore off my shirt and jumped into bear form, hauling ass to the patch of juniper trees behind my house. I barely heard my clan greet me, but they could feel what I was feeling since I couldn’t keep it entirely from my mind.

  What’s going on? Sawyer asked.

  Now they say don’t bother calling.

  Who?

  Valentina’s sisters, I said. Instead of saying she isn’t there like they’ve been doing, today they told me to please stop calling.

  You didn’t really think she happened to be out every time you called, did you? Wyatt asked.

  Of course not, I snapped. But there was still hope that she’d answer or change her mind. If I can’t even call, there’s no chance for that to happen. I’m going crazy as a bullbat! It’s been weeks now. I can’t take it.

  I would’ve reckoned a person I barely met would have faded somewhat from my thoughts and feelings over several weeks of not seeing her. In any normal situation, that would be true. People would think I was nuts to be upset for weeks over someone I went out with and slept with once. That’s how I knew—not that I’d ever really doubted—that we were fated. Only two mates meant for each other would feel even more desperate after weeks apart.

  I reckon it’s time to try something else, Wyatt suggested.

  I already emailed her. She never responded.

  How about sending flowers? Sawyer asked.

  Or jewelry, Wyatt added.

  Someone made a cake with the girl’s name on it for a prom invite, Benjamin, my younger brother, added. The girl seemed to really like it.

  Mr. Montgomery, Sawyer and Wyatt’s dad, was also in bear form, running with Sawyer. He offered, Maybe tickets to the theater? Or perfume?

  These things are good, but they don’t seem like enough, I said. It has to be huge. Something that would really win her over.

  I still say you should go to her place, Wyatt insisted.

  I’d been thinking about that more and more. Each time, I talked myself out of it. I’d keep it as a possibility. My last resort.

  I’ll try the other things first, I said.

  The part that no one thought about was what would happen when I went there. If I saw her and she didn’t change her mind and come back to me, I wouldn’t be able to walk away. Hell, I might end up moving to Boquillas just to be close to her. Without talking to her, and going all that time without her, it felt like a piece of my soul had gone missing, and the spot ached where it should be.

  They had given me some ideas, though. After
work the next day, I headed into the nearby town of Marathon and spent hours buying things for her. I started with the flowers first—a huge bouquet of red roses—then a bracelet and a dress. Last, I sent tickets to a show just over the border, including a note saying she should wear all the things I’d sent her when she came to meet me.

  When the night came, I dressed and readied myself. I was nervous as a fly in a glue pot; my hands shook and my ears rung. She won’t be here, I told myself. I knew it was a long shot, but I couldn’t lose hope entirely. She might show.

  I waited in the lobby of the theater from an hour before show time until an hour after the show ended. I sat there, watching every patron enter the place, then every one of them leave. She hadn’t come. She hadn’t sent someone in her place to tell me she loved me, but something was keeping her away. She’d ignored me like she’d been doing for weeks.

  When I saw the workers sweeping the floors of the theater lobby, I figured it was time for me to go. I walked out to my truck and drove home, feeling expectantly crushed. I kept reminding myself that I’d never expected her to show. It didn’t take away the pain, though.

  I had another chance the next day. While at work, I realized that an error had occurred in the paychecks from the last fire. Oscar had left me a message about it. I talked to the accounting department and got it straightened out, and the moment the new check was ready, I drove over to the accounting office to pick it up.

  I drove down to the dock, my heart racing again. That time, the chance of seeing her was even greater. The last time I’d come, I hadn’t, but I’d seen her brother. Please, luck, be on my side today.

  I got into the boat and paddled my way across the river toward Boquillas, keeping my eyes peeled for motion and anyone I saw, I studied to see if it was her.

  When I pulled up to the shore, a man walked over to greet me. I recognized him and handed him the envelope for Oscar, trying to draw it out by asking how everything had been going. If Oscar had come to meet me, I might have been able to talk longer, but I didn’t know this guy too well. I wasn’t even sure of his name, but I’d seen him fighting several fires with Los Osos Demonios.