Accidental Dad: The Irresistible Daddies Book One

by Kaylee, Katy

  On the way, I got some of those benne wafers that she always loved so much—thin, crispy, sesame seed-based cookies that Roni would devour in seconds.

  Her cottage really did look charming and homey. It wasn’t at all the kind of fancy house that Veronica had grown up in, or the kind of house she’d always told me that she wanted, but it was clear that she had been doing her best to make it a place to enjoy living in. The whole thing looked freshly painted, including the little fence, there were newly-done flowerbeds, and curtains hanging in the windows.

  I knocked on the door, box of cookies in hand, and found myself self-conscious about what I was wearing. I had decided to go with just a soft gray t-shirt and jeans. Should I have dressed up more? Did I look too casual?

  The door opened, and Veronica’s mouth dropped open as she saw me. “…Ted?”

  “Hey.” I held out the cookies. “Sorry to surprise you like this. I got your address from your records with me, I hope that’s not… I hope I haven’t made myself creepy.”

  “No, no, that’s fine.” Veronica gave a small laugh. “When you fill those out you expect the address to be where the doctor sends bills, not where he shows up with cookies.”

  “Do you still like benne wafers?”

  “Oh my God, you remembered.” She took the cookies, smiling softly down at them.

  “Of course I did.” My voice came out lower, more intimate, than I had planned.

  Roni blushed. “I’m… surprised that you’re here, but… please, come on in. I can show you how the nursery is coming along.”

  “Actually.” I stepped inside as she ushered me in and closed the door behind me. “I was hoping that we could talk. It’s a bit serious.”

  Veronica nodded, going and setting the cookies down in the kitchen. It was a small place, definitely. The kitchen and living room were practically the same space. But there was a charming exposed-brick fireplace, and the countertops and cabinets in the kitchen looked like they’d just been redone, and she’d mentioned a nursery so that meant there were two bedrooms upstairs—enough space for Veronica to have a bit of her own quiet area and for her child to get privacy as they got older.

  The whole place was painted up in shades of blue and green, very harmonious, with furniture that looked like it had come secondhand but was still sturdy and well-worn in that charming sort of way. It wasn’t what I would’ve chosen, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t what Veronica would’ve actually chosen either, but I could see she was making the best of things and trying to live within her means for her kid.

  I wanted to take her back to my house, to show it to her. I thought… well maybe I was arrogant but I thought that she would like it, appreciate it. It was startling how much I wanted her to see my home and realize how well she’d fit in there, how well our two styles matched, how much she would love all of the furniture that I had picked out.

  But all that would have to wait. It was the whole reason that I was here, after all. “Would you… ”

  “Please, sit down,” Veronica said quickly. “Can I get you anything? Some water, or tea, or…”

  “No, no, but thank you.”

  The two of us sat down and I decided there was really no reason to beat around the bush. “Veronica…” I paused. “Roni.”

  Veronica’s lips parted, her eyes going a bit wide. I couldn’t tell if it was because she liked the nickname or because she was dismayed.

  But I was here now. There was no going back. Only forward.

  “I think it’s… pretty obvious that there’s unfinished business between us. And it’s not just sexual.”

  Veronica bit her lip and looked down, avoiding my eyes.

  “You just got out of a divorce, and I completely respect that. I don’t know what kind of idiot he was to let you go, but you seem to be in a much better place now that you’re rid of him. And your first priority is your child. I get that too. If you say no, I’ll back off and I won’t keep asking you. But I do want you to please consider doing a… being in a… a proper relationship with me.

  “We were great together in high school. And you know that not everyone can say that. We were young and stupid and we had a lot of issues but we still made it work. I was never happier than when I was with you. And this whole time, I’ve been searching for a woman who was half as good for me as you were. Nobody’s worked for me. Now that we’re older, wiser, I think we can be even better for each other than we were back then. I’d like you to consider giving me a chance.”

  Veronica looked up to meet my gaze, but she was frowning. “I’m not sure that it would be a good idea. I’m still trying to get over… over everything, and I just don’t think that I can… make myself vulnerable like that again.”

  Now it was my turn to frown. “What went on between you and your ex-husband is none of my business, Roni, it isn’t. But I’d like to know, if you’re comfortable telling me. I’d like to understand.”

  Veronica gave a short, bitter laugh. “Nobody understands. I have only one friend who knows the whole truth. A lot of people assume that he was an asshole because they know a few things but nobody knows how bad it really was. How awful he is. He cheated on me at least ten times that I know of, usually at these parties where there were hookers. He would brag about it to his friends, telling them all about his wild nights, he didn’t care if I overheard.”

  She twisted her fingers around and around each other. “He made me feel so small, Ted, it was… it was like I was less than a person, just shrinking and shrinking. I could hardly stand it. And he made me feel like I was the crazy one, like I was the one who had something wrong with me. He was always belittling me, manipulating me… gaslighting me, honestly, that’s what he was doing. I had no life of my own. I had to do everything with his permission. I was expected to just serve him and be pretty.

  “I keep telling myself that I’m lucky, that it wasn’t worse. I went to a support group, at the suggestion of my lawyer, and I heard how many other women had it, how their husbands would beat them and so on and I’m lucky that it wasn’t that bad, but it was still awful, and… and I felt so scared all the time, and I couldn’t trust him, I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone…”

  My heart was breaking as I heard all of this from her. I couldn’t believe that anyone, no matter how awful, could see Veronica and not want to worship her, to treat her right, to make her feel like a queen. Even when I’d been a stupid ass teenager with a chip on my shoulder, I’d seen that.

  How could this asshole do that to her? I could feel my blood boiling hotter by the second. That man better hope that he never met me, because I would rip his throat out. I’d never felt rage like this before.

  Veronica was keeping her head down, trying to hold it together, poised to the last. I reached out, keeping my hand palm down, offering it to her, letting her decide to take it or reject it as she needed.

  After a moment’s hesitation she reached out, taking my hand and squeezing it so tightly that I thought she might rearrange the bones. I didn’t mind if she did. I was happy to be an anchor.

  “I married the man my parents chose for me,” she whispered, her voice cracking around the edges. “I expected a life of… comfort, stability. I gave up… I gave up what I wanted, who I wanted, for my parents and their expectations, to do what society thought I should. I berated you for not having ambition and here I was, giving up any ambition I had, just to become a trophy wife and I told myself that I was glad for it.

  “But instead of getting a loving husband and children, I got a man who was a nightmare. I didn’t know who was coming home at the end of the day, the lustful man who just wanted to fuck me and then ignore me, or the angry man who would berate me, or the cold shoulder.”

  I knew something about that. Not the sex part, of course, but the fear, not knowing which version of my father would come home. It was like I’d been living with five different people. I squeezed her hand in return.

  “I couldn’t trust Chad to care about my needs.” Veronic
a reached for a tissue and wiped at her eyes, finally starting to let her strong façade crumble. I felt honored that she was letting herself break down around me, even if it was just for a little bit. “I couldn’t even trust him to be home at night.” She gave another brittle laugh. “Oh, sure, I got some great connections out of it, did you know my father-in-law is the governor? And that was all my parents cared about. Look at their precious baby girl go, look at her climbing that social ladder.”

  Her voice was tinged through with acid, eating away at her words, staining the edges. “But I would’ve traded all of that for a man who didn’t treat me like an object, like some prize that he’d won - no, like less than that, like an old toy he could use and throw away whenever he felt like it. He treated his television and his car with more love and respect than he treated me.”

  She glanced at me, then looked back down at her knees. “I should have been with you,” she whispered.

  I squeezed her hand again. “It doesn’t matter about me, Roni. There are plenty of great men out there who would’ve treated you right, and you deserved to find them. Not to be forced into some sham marriage with an asshole who hurt you.”

  Before now, I had never really understood the term ‘seeing red’. The most angry I had ever gotten had been at my father for how he’d treated me, and that had manifested itself more in useless rebellion at teachers in school than anything else. I’d been too scared of my father to really go up against him.

  Right now, though - right now I was seeing red, all right, like the world was tinged with it, like blood was leaking into my eyes and staining everything. I could hear my heartbeat, loud and insistent in my ears, thrumming like the drums of war.

  I had never wanted to hurt someone like this. It was beyond infuriating to think that some man hurt her like this, that he treated her so badly. I would have worshipped the ground she walked on - hell, I still did - and anyone with half a brain and even a shred of decency would do the same. I’ve got half a mind to find this guy and beat the mortal shit out of him, I don’t care who the fuck his father is.

  But I couldn’t do that. I knew that Veronica wouldn’t appreciate it, and it would only cause more trouble for her in the long run. What mattered wasn’t making this guy pay - well, it mattered, sure, but not as much as taking care of Roni and making her feel valued again. Here she was, beating herself up for something that this monster had done to her.

  “Roni, hey. It’s okay.” I squeezed her hand. “Everyone makes mistakes. It’s not your fault, what happened. You had really controlling parents and it’s hard to go against that, especially when it’s all you’ve known, right?”

  “But you didn’t let your father define you,” Roni pointed out. “You turned out wonderful.”

  I could feel my face heating up, some of my anger fading to make way for pleased embarrassment. “I’m glad you think that,” I told her. “But all that man did to you? That wasn’t your fault. He did that, and he would’ve done it to anyone else that he married. It’s… it’s not your fault for ending up in that position. You expected good from someone, how is that a bad thing? How is that worthy of punishment? What, are you going to say that if my clinic were to get robbed at gunpoint that it’s my fault for having a clinic in the first place?”

  Veronica laughed a little at that. I grinned, feeling victorious. “That’s the spirit, sweetheart. You’re amazing, and any halfway decent guy would see it. Most of us trust our parents and it’s not a crime. And I’m sure he was really charming to you. Guys like that, they know how to fool you. It’s not your fault. We all make mistakes.”

  Her smile faded, and she looked back up into my eyes. I could see that her eyes were bright and swimming with tears, and her bottom lip was trembling. “Marrying him wasn’t the real mistake,” she said, her voice hoarse. “It was giving up you.”

  That made my heart stop for a second.

  Veronica looked away, wiping at her eyes. “And now I’ve wasted eight years of my life, and I’m only just now picking up the pieces. I… I really have to stay focused. I’m going to rebuild my life.”

  She let go of my hand, composing herself. “I’m going to build my life,” she repeated. “And I can’t… I can’t let myself get… distracted.”

  18

  Veronica

  I watched Ted’s face carefully as I told him this. I felt like such a coward, but I also felt like… like I had to stay strong.

  My whole life I had done what other people wanted of me, expected of me, and I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I was going to do what I wanted and lead the kind of life that I deserved to lead.

  But what you want is Ted, that traitorous voice in the back of my head whispered. And it was true, I did… I did want him. I was so drawn to him, it was like high school all over again but also like meeting someone new, that one person who just spun your head around. I wanted to be with him - and it terrified me.

  What if I got with him and I lost everything that I had been trying to build for myself? I knew it wasn’t exactly logical, that fear, but it was still there in the back of my mind, and I couldn’t seem to shut it up no matter how hard I tried.

  Ted seemed to sit with what I said for a moment, and then said quietly, “Being with me doesn’t mean that you’re distracted. Our goals can shift and change. And you know - or, well, I hope that you know - I’m not like your ex. I would never lie, cheat, or treat you badly. I didn’t in high school and I won’t now. I know I’ve changed, but I know I’ve changed for the better. You wouldn’t ever have to be afraid around me.

  “We’ve been through a lot, both of us, and I know that most of it for you was shit. But you’re not some… broken creature who needs to hide away in order to get better. You don’t have to close yourself off and deny yourself real chances at happiness. I know you’re still the same sweet girl I knew in high school. The one who would lay her head on my shoulder and tell me her hopes and dreams. The one who would take care of stray kittens and who read books to the elderly at the nursing home every weekend.”

  Maybe Ted remembered good things about me in high school, but I didn’t. My throat felt raw and choked as I spoke. “Ted, I… I don’t… I treated you horribly. I took you for granted. I let my parents convince me to dump you in the most thoughtless way possible. I really hurt you, and I knew that I was doing that, even as I did it, I knew it in the moment and I know it now, remembering it. Why would you even want to try dating me again?

  What - I don’t see what was so special about me that you would be ready to risk yourself with me again.”

  Ted looked at me, his eyes soft and warm, and then held out his hands. “C’mere.”

  I took his hands and let him pull me into his lap, his arms coming around me, securing me. I could easily have felt trapped, but instead I felt like I finally had an anchor. A safe harbor. I settled my head on his shoulder and breathed him in, his warmth like a protective cocoon around me.

  “We were kids,” he said softly. “No, it doesn’t make it okay, but we were so young. You’re sorry for it and that’s all that matters. And you’re not that same person. I look at you now and I see the good qualities you had back then. Those stayed the same. And I also see that you’ve shed the things that were negative. You’ve grown, just as I have.

  “You wouldn’t want me if I was the same now as I was in high school. Because as thoughtless as it might’ve been to do it the way that you did… you were right. I didn’t take anything seriously back then. I was just coasting through life, seeing how many people I could piss off because I had a problem with authority. The only thing I cared about was you and that’s not healthy. Nobody should only care ever about one thing in life, even if that thing is another person.

  “What you did - it snapped me into reality. It gave me the fire I needed to actually do something with myself. I decided to become a fertility doctor to help people who deserved to become parents achieve their dream. I know it wasn’t the best way you could’ve done it but you lit th
e spark, you made me into the man I am today. All of my success is because of you. You started that.”

  I hadn’t… I hadn’t thought of it that way or even realized that I should take any credit for Ted’s current success. “I had no idea.”

  Ted shrugged, looking a little self-conscious. “I considered finding you, sometimes, reaching out to you and thanking you. But I figured that you wouldn’t want to hear from me.”

  “I lied,” I told him. “I didn’t care about your ambitions or lack of them, I just cared about how you made me feel. I felt like I could be myself around you, I felt safe and cared for, I felt… like you really saw me, and that you loved me for what you saw. My parents, everyone else, they only saw what they wanted me to be, what they told me to be. Chad only saw me - men in general just, only saw me for what I could do for them, not just who I was. I never wanted to break up with you.”

  “Hey, it was… it was for the better, for me at least, that you did it. I hate…” A growl entered Ted’s voice, a dangerous one, but not directed at me. Directed at Chad, at whoever was responsible for letting me get into that situation. “I hate what happened to you. For me, though - in the end, I’m grateful that you broke up with me.”

  He gave a small laugh, then turned and brushed my tears away with the back of his hand. I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying. “It’s okay, Roni, I promise. You can stop, don’t beat yourself up about me.”

  I was still nervous. Scared. I didn’t think that Ted would hurt me. I trusted that he wouldn’t. But I also couldn’t shake the fear of being in a relationship again.