The Complete Alice Wonder Series - Insanity - Books 1 - 9

by Cameron Jace

  “You’re not going to do anything unless I tell you,” Fabiola said.

  “Trust me, the pill helps with all your Wonderland madness.” He reached for the drawer, but Fabiola stopped him, waving a threatening sword in the air.

  “I know who you are, Tom,” Fabiola said. “I know what Lewis told you about this asylum, so drop the mask.”

  Tom shrugged. Did others know about this? Lewis had never told him this Fabiola had anything to do with this. “What do you want?”

  “Now we’re talking.” Fabiola leaned against the edge of his desk. “Like I said, Alice Wonder must die.”

  “Why?”

  “You don’t get to ask questions, Turtle,” she mocked him. “You will only follow my orders.”

  “If you say so.” He really needed that pill now.

  “I will need an army to kill Alice when she wakes up.”

  “Wakes up?”

  “I told you not to interrupt me.”

  Tom sat up, listening carefully.

  “You did a good job, all those years, collecting sane people into the asylum,” she said. “Now, it’s time to use them.”

  “Really?” Tom’s eyes widened. So Lewis’ prophecy was useful.

  “Yes,” she said. “I will need all the Mushroomers in your asylum.”

  “Need them?”

  “Didn’t you hear me?” Fabiola said. “Alice is coming back, and I’ll need all your insane — or sane — patients to kill her.”

  75

  THE PAST: OXFORD STREETS

  It’s hard to explain this feeling inside me. It’s harder to explain how good I feel, dragging Jack toward the bus station. Old and scattered memories of the Bad Alice flood my soul as I am about to kill my classmates.

  As we head to the station, a thinner, weaker Good Alice tries to oppose me, trying to understand why I am supposed to kill those on the bus. But things happen so fast, I can’t locate such an old memory I’ve devoted my life to — my darker life, that is.

  “I’m glad you changed your mind.” Jack holds my hand, now standing among others at the station.

  “Me too.” I peck him on the cheek, my evil eyes sparkling with all the wrong emotions. It’s weird how darkness feels so powerful. It reminds me of Fabiola warning me of getting stained when looking darkness in the eyes. The poor woman discreetly hoped I wasn’t the Real Alice all this time. What an old, mentally conflicted nun.

  The bus is supposed to arrive in ten minutes. The innocent passengers have no idea of their morbid fates. Most of the passengers are girls. In fact, there are only three boys about to get on the bus. I wonder why.

  Please don’t do this, Alice. You’re not her anymore.

  That weak and stupid voice of the Good Alice inside me—it annoys me. If I only had the means to choke her. But that would be choking myself, too. And hell, I freakin’ like me. I like the Bad Alice. Once I kill for Black Chess, I should take some time to immerse myself in the bloody memories of the past.

  A couple of memories loom before me. Me, back then in Wonderland, after the events of the circus, mercilessly slaying a few humans. Why would I give up on such power? And I thought I was an insane girl buried underground, thinking she could save lives.

  “Alice.” Jack squeezes my hand.

  “Yes, baby?”

  “Do you want your necklace back?”

  “Necklace?”

  “The one you gave me last week,” Jack says. “You said it’s important.”

  “Of course I want it back.” I don’t have the slightest idea what he is talking about.

  But Jack doesn’t get a chance to give it back. Suddenly he falls to his knees, clutching at his stomach.

  “What’s wrong, Jack?” I say, but it’s not like I care. I am just annoyed at the plan going wrong.

  “My stomach hurts so much.”

  “All of a sudden?” I say. “Man up, Jack. The bus is coming soon.”

  “It hurts.” He moans. “I think I need to visit the bathroom.”

  “You what?”

  Jack hurtles through the crowd in a flash. He needs to use the loo that bad. It happens so fast that I’m perplexed. My plan can’t go wrong. I don’t know why, but Jack has to die along with the passengers, even though I know he isn’t the target. I just don’t want to change the course of events. I must have had a reason to kill him in the past, and the reason should remain now.

  “He’s gone to the bathroom?” A panting Pillar shows up, adjusting his glasses again.

  “Can you believe this?” I say.

  “I can.” The Pillar grins. “It was me.”

  “You?”

  “I slipped something into his drink,” he says. “A Chinese herb I use when constipated. He isn’t coming out of there anytime soon.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Didn’t you want him off the bus?” The Pillar drools like a bulldog.

  I slap him on the face and then kick him out on the street. “Can you get any dumber?”

  Suddenly his girl fans are upset with me, pushing me sideways and kneeling down to help their Wonderland believers.

  “Duh!” I shout.

  I could easily kill them here right now. But they have to die on the bus for some reason. I have to get Jack back. And fast. The bus is coming.

  76

  THE PRESENT: RADCLIFFE ASYLUM

  Tom stood watching Fabiola lecture the Mushroomers. She was telling them of the Bad Alice and all the details they hadn’t known about earlier. The Mushroomers, holding to the bars, listened tentatively.

  “So we’re not mad?” one of them asked.

  “Not the least,” Fabiola said. “It was this man who framed you and brought you here.” She pointed at Tom.

  The Mushroomers produced noises of anger and were about to shoot laser beams out of their eyes at him, Tom thought. “I was asked to do this,” he explained. “Lewis Carroll told me.”

  It didn’t seem to change anything. If they were set free now, they were going to eat him alive.

  “Tom is right,” Fabiola broke in. “He was instructed by Lewis Carroll to make an army out of you. You do know who Lewis is, right?”

  “The madman!” all the Mushroomers said in one breath.

  It was then when Tom realized the Mushroomers had lost it. He wasn’t that surprised, though. Locking a sane man in a room for too long, and expecting him to come out as sane as he was before was a big joke. The shock therapy, the lonely nights, and all the things they went through. Who wouldn’t lose their mind?

  “What’s going on, Tom?” Fabiola said.

  “I think we’re too late,” he said. “I don’t think they will be useful.”

  “Another dead end.” Fabiola puffed.

  “It’s the truth,” Tom said. “First of all, I don’t think they will kill Alice if you let them out. I think they like her a lot. They will kill us instead.”

  “Are you saying Lewis’ plan didn’t work?”

  “He was a good man, but we have to admit he was as bonkers as the rest of us.”

  “Then you’re as bonkers for following his instructions.”

  “A friend of mine once said, ‘We’re all mad here.’”

  “Shut up, Turtle!” Fabiola was losing it. Tom thought she’d better go back to being a nun. It helped her calm down. “What am I going to do now? Who is going to kill Alice if she comes back?”

  “My question is, why don’t you do it yourself?” Tom proposed. “I see you’re ready to kill for your cause.”

  The impact of Tom’s words twitched every pore of Fabiola’s face. He thought he even saw her hand tremble. The White Queen seemed to have developed a certain affection for Alice. That’s what this really was about. Fabiola’s weakness was now her affection for a Bad Alice.

  Damn that Pillar, Tom thought. The man is a genius. Why not, when Tom couldn’t yet figure out how the Pillar entered and left his cell with no one ever knowing how?

  Fabiola dropped her sword. “I hate you,” she said. />
  “Come again?” Tom said.

  “I hate you for making me love someone so bad.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” Tom said. “Are you sure you’re talking to me?”

  “Of course I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the Pillar, wherever he is.”

  77

  THE PAST: BUS STATION, OXFORD

  Jack surprises me, returning within seconds. He is still holding his stomach but stands next to me in the station. “I think I can take the pain,” he says. “I know how much the trip means to you.”

  I don’t give a damn. It’s good that he is back. I grip his hand tighter, so I don’t lose him this time. I don’t even thank him.

  “What happened to your professor?” He points at the girls gathering around the Pillar, making sure he is all right.

  “Don’t bother,” I tell Jack, then I turn to the girls. “Hey, you don’t want to miss the bus. Come over here.”

  One of them swears at me, describing how cruel I am. As if I care. The rest of the girls are too naive to comment or get back at me. Frankly, all I see is jealousy. They’re jealous of Jack’s devotion to me. How I managed to make him love me, I can’t remember.

  Across the street, the Queen’s limousine still waits. The Reds are in every corner, watching me. Even Lorina and Edith are standing by the curb. Why hasn’t the bus arrived yet?

  Don’t do it, Alice. The nagging voice arises again. You can change the future for the better. You can still purge your sins.

  I want to kill that stupid girl inside me, but don’t have an idea how. But it doesn’t matter; soon enough the bus will arrive, and we’ll get this over with. I’m in control. The Bad Alice is in control.

  No, you aren’t, the nagging voice says. You really aren’t.

  The nagging voice is too confident this time. I wonder why. It scares me. Why is my good side so confident I will fail?

  Look at him, it says. Just look at him.

  Look at whom? I tilt my head and stare at Jack. He is still aching, but he’s nothing but a ring on my finger now. I’ll tell him where to go and what to do. Not him, the voice says. But him.

  Who? I look left and right, panicking. Is the Good Alice trying to play games with my mind?

  There is no one here that can change my mind. No one.

  I keep repeating this to myself… until I see him.

  Not Jack, but the boy the Good Alice is pointing at. A boy who is going to change my life. How? I’m not sure.

  I find myself staring at a boy wearing an exquisite black hat. He is standing across the street. He has a confident and rough attitude about him, but that’s not what attracts me. I know him.

  I know him in the strangest ways.

  It’s not even logical that I recognize him. But I do. I can’t forget the voice of the man I’m going to marry in the future. Did you wake up, baby? I remember him saying when I was in the future in the Wonderland Compound.

  I’m staring at the boy I don’t know but will change my life.

  But even so, the Bad Alice in me is still stubborn enough to complete her mission. I am still determined to kill everyone on the bus. Who said I have to marry this boy in the future? Who said he has an influence on me?

  You really don’t get it. The nagging voice is laughing at me now. Wait until he crosses over to the bus station. You’re toast. The Good Alice will win. It’s going to be painful, but I will win.

  The boy does cross the street. And with every closer look at him, I begin to understand how the Good Alice will win.

  Again, in the strangest ways.

  With each step closer, I see the boy in a very different way. I recognize him and relate to him — although I’ve never seen him before — in the most emotional ways.

  It’s in his eyes. It’s in his cheeks. In his walk. It’s in my children I see through him.

  I gasp, noticing Lily has his eyes. Tiger has his pompous and manly walk. Lily has his cheekbones. Tiger has his pursed-lipped smile. I can go on forever.

  78

  Unconsciously, I let go of Jack’s hands. It’s illogical. Unexplainable. As mad as love is. The Good Alice surfaces.

  Whether I’m going to marry this boy or really have his children in the future, only one thing matters now. I’m myself again. The self I choose to be, not what Black Chess wants me to be. Jack has to live. So do the girls on the bus.

  “Something wrong, Alice?” Jack asks me.

  I fill my eyes with his gorgeous face. I want to tell him that he is going to live. I want to tell him that I’m okay. Everything is going to be all right.

  But he wouldn’t understand. His love for me is too strong.

  Not only do I know that from my feelings, or the way he came back from dead for me, but from what happens to the Cheshire in the future. Jack’s love for me is so strong it will soften the cat’s heart.

  Which means Jack will never let go of me in the future.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Jack’s eyes sparkle.

  I know why. Because I know Jack will never stop loving me. And even if I stop him from getting on the bus today, even if I don’t kill him, he will never be safe around me. Who guarantees I don’t turn into the Bad Alice five minutes from now? And if not, Jack could be easily hurt in the future, whether by the Cheshire or anyone else.

  I know why I’m staring this way at him. Because it’s the last time I will be staring at him so lovingly. The last time he will love me at all.

  Slowly I turn away from Jack, unable to imagine how he is going to feel a minute from now. True, I won’t kill him. But I will do worse. I will make him not love me again.

  Stepping ahead, I wave at my future husband, the pompous boy, and wrap my arms around him.

  The boy welcomes me. Either because he is used to girls doing this to him, or because it’s just fate we can’t change. I pull his head closer to me and kiss him. The boy kisses me back, and I start to make out with him in the craziest ways.

  I am so blunt about it, it looks like I do this a lot. Hisses saturate the air around us. Girls gasp, others whisper, and Jack… I have no idea what’s happening to him.

  A tear threatens to squeeze out of my eye. But I lock it in. Jack has to believe I mean this. And the boy, well, he is enjoying this a lot.

  Images of Tiger and Lily flash before my eyes. Maybe I am not going to marry the one I love, but the one whose children I will love.

  After the kiss and the incredible scene I made, I slowly catch Jack’s reaction from the corner of my eye.

  Oh, Jack. I’m so sorry.

  Jack is simply dying in front of my eyes. The damage is done. Mission accomplished. Everyone lives happily ever after, except Jack.

  79

  THE PRESENT: THE PILLAR’S LIMOUSINE, OUTSIDE THE INKLINGS, OXFORD

  “She sacrificed her love to save the students on the bus,” said the mousy chauffeur, having just arrived from eavesdropping on Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock in the Inklings.

  The Pillar, sitting in the back, smiled. He had both hands resting on his cane. His smile was thin, the chauffeur thought. But he understood. The situation was complicated. Alice, evil or good, was doomed.

  “So, is that it?” The chauffeur felt uncomfortable about the Pillar’s silence. “She saves the world, fails to find her Wonder, and ends up dead in the past?”

  The Pillar tapped his cane. Said nothing.

  “That’s not fair,” the chauffeur said. “I mean, she really changed the world. Why does she have to die, let alone live in this kind of misery?”

  The Pillar resorted to silence again and again.

  “Shouldn’t we see changes in this future because of the things she changed?” the chauffeur tried one last time.

  The Pillar leaned back, staring out of the window. It had started to rain, and looking outside was like looking at a mirror buried in the mist. “You ever been in love?” the Pillar said.

  The chauffeur shrugged. “Once.”

  “Really?”
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br />   “Of course. Everyone must have been in love once.”

  “Not an ugly mouse like you.”

  The chauffeur knew the Pillar was joking. “I fell in love with a girl, mousy like me. We suited each other. In fact, she loved me a lot.”

  “If so, why aren’t you with her now?”

  “Because I’m with you, professor.”

  “Why are you with me?”

  “I believe in your cause—morally controversial, yes, but I’d like to help.”

  “I didn’t know you were a miserable liar,” the Pillar said.

  “Liar?”

  “You’re not here because of me. You’re here because of the money I pay.”

  “What’s wrong with a man needing a job?”

  “I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” the Pillar said. He leaned forward, one hand gripping the back of the passenger seat. “You’re not spending time with the one you love, thinking that making money and securing your future will help you prosper, so you can finally spend time with her.”

  “Professor.” The chauffeur shrugged. “What are you telling me?”

  “Go back home,” the Pillar said. “Give me the keys and go back to your loved one. Forget about me and Alice. This war that’s coming isn’t for everyone unless you’re really ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “To give up on your loved ones.”

  80

  THE PAST: BUS STATION, OXFORD

  Making out so bluntly with my future husband is like reaching the last rung on the ladder of insanity — let alone the fact I just said, future husband.

  My lips on that boy are in severe pain. A strange pain. I close my eyes, wishing Jack would just disappear behind me. Hoping he gets the message and hates me for the rest of his life.

  But Jack doesn’t.